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Thread: Just want to vent/ talk.

  1. #1

    Default Just want to vent/ talk.

    Well I have been a Diaper Lover for awhile now, at least since Jr. High. I am not an Adult baby(although it is not out of the question) but I love the feeling I get while wearing a diaper. Like many of you I can not say why I have these feelings, and a part of me wishes I had a different thought process. One that was more "accepted" and I didn't have to hide it from people. I have a couple threads on here, but I am married and my wife does not share my love for diapers. Granted she just found out about this part of me two weeks ago, and she admittedly does not know what to think yet, but I am TERRIFIED that she is going to be against the idea. I of course have no idea what to make of this. On one hand wearing makes me happy, and now that I am finally comfortable in my own skin and am accepting what I feel I am very hesitant to give it up. But I will if it means my marriage. I love my wife more than anything, she is my best friend and would never risk it if I could avoid it.

    I have had many things in my life that I believe contributes to my love of diapers. But all of those things have made me the man that I am today, so I do not feel "bad" about them. I like the man I am. If I'm being honest when I first started looking at these kind of websites I was further confused because none of the people that were posting had the same interests as myself, but a lot had the same interests as each other (such as gaming, music, etc...). I know that is silly, but like I said I am just venting.

    Since I have started looking at this site I have nothing but good things to say about it. The amount of support I have seen and been given is indescribable. It is so comforting to be able to be MYSELF around others without the fear of social isolation.

    Right now I am away on business and have been wearing for about a week and a half and I have very much loved it. I am worried that when I get home it wont be accepted by my wife and I will go back to trying to suppress my feelings, and then finally giving into them after years of suppression.

    Anyway, thank you for all of the support. I only hope that I can some day show the same kind of knowledge and support that I have been shown.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hi Derepaid,

    I understand it's scary when you 'come out' as an AB/DL, especially to someone who is such a precious part of your life, but I think compromise and understanding are the key things I'd focus on here, and helping to develop both is a reasonable aim.

    There's a likelihood that if your partner doesn't have ABDL tendencies, or a particular interest in being a caretaker to someone who does, then this is something you'll mostly have to enjoy by yourself. However, I would certainly recommend asking her to sit down for a few minutes and read Understanding Infantilism, or even to write down some of your own experiences of your DL side and how much you value being with her - and let her read through that and process it in her own time. I think it's reasonable to expect your wife to try to understand this side of you. My ex-GF had some pretty unconventional kinks which I didn't see the appeal of, but I respected that they satisfied her, so I tried to acclimatise myself to them. However, I certainly would introduce the topic slowly and gently, so as not to make it an overwhelming thing for her.

    If your wife is responsive to your ABDL desires, in that she seems to understand and accept them, I think it's okay to gently introduce the idea of 'practicing' these behaviours within your home, as long as it's framed as a compromise, so she doesn't feel that your DL tendencies are being forced onto her. For example, you could say, 'I'd be happy to do [x chore/massage/something sexual] if you'd let me diaper up in bed tonight.'

    Whatever path you choose, communication, as always, is crucial in a healthy and open (in discursive terms) relationship. I know that different individuals approach the topic of ABDL with their partners in lots of different ways, so if my advice doesn't seem like what you're looking for, I'm sure you'd find another approach elsewhere on ADISC which seemed more your thing.

    Best of luck with everything, and if you ever want a listening ear about these issues, feel free to drop me a PM.

    ~ Snaps

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SirNapsALot View Post
    Hi Derepaid,

    I understand it's scary when you 'come out' as an AB/DL, especially to someone who is such a precious part of your life, but I think compromise and understanding are the key things I'd focus on here, and helping to develop both is a reasonable aim.

    There's a likelihood that if your partner doesn't have ABDL tendencies, or a particular interest in being a caretaker to someone who does, then this is something you'll mostly have to enjoy by yourself. However, I would certainly recommend asking her to sit down for a few minutes and read Understanding Infantilism, or even to write down some of your own experiences of your DL side and how much you value being with her - and let her read through that and process it in her own time. I think it's reasonable to expect your wife to try to understand this side of you. My ex-GF had some pretty unconventional kinks which I didn't see the appeal of, but I respected that they satisfied her, so I tried to acclimatise myself to them. However, I certainly would introduce the topic slowly and gently, so as not to make it an overwhelming thing for her.

    If your wife is responsive to your ABDL desires, in that she seems to understand and accept them, I think it's okay to gently introduce the idea of 'practicing' these behaviours within your home, as long as it's framed as a compromise, so she doesn't feel that your DL tendencies are being forced onto her. For example, you could say, 'I'd be happy to do [x chore/massage/something sexual] if you'd let me diaper up in bed tonight.'

    Whatever path you choose, communication, as always, is crucial in a healthy and open (in discursive terms) relationship. I know that different individuals approach the topic of ABDL with their partners in lots of different ways, so if my advice doesn't seem like what you're looking for, I'm sure you'd find another approach elsewhere on ADISC which seemed more your thing.

    Best of luck with everything, and if you ever want a listening ear about these issues, feel free to drop me a PM.

    ~ Snaps
    I think I am just confused and worried now because I am not home so it is hard to judge what my wife is feeling.

    My gut tells me that she will be supportive of it, after I see a therapist. But again, this is just what I am gathering from conversations on the phone. We haven't really discussed what if any compromises would be. I think it would probably be best to do that in person. I do plan on continuing to talk to my wife until I get home in a few weeks in order to keep the communication lines open.

    I may take you up on the PM Snaps, it is definitely comforting to talk to someone with similar experiences.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by derepaid View Post
    Well I have been a Diaper Lover for awhile now, at least since Jr. High. I am not an Adult baby(although it is not out of the question) but I love the feeling I get while wearing a diaper. Like many of you I can not say why I have these feelings, and a part of me wishes I had a different thought process. One that was more "accepted" and I didn't have to hide it from people. I have a couple threads on here, but I am married and my wife does not share my love for diapers. Granted she just found out about this part of me two weeks ago, and she admittedly does not know what to think yet, but I am TERRIFIED that she is going to be against the idea. I of course have no idea what to make of this. On one hand wearing makes me happy, and now that I am finally comfortable in my own skin and am accepting what I feel I am very hesitant to give it up. But I will if it means my marriage. I love my wife more than anything, she is my best friend and would never risk it if I could avoid it.
    Alright think of wearing like this inn regards to your wife. You are a diaper lover which is a part of who and what you are. It's never going to stop and it's never going to go away even if you want it to go away for your wife. That being said since this is a part of you and your wife is married to you if she tries to make you stop in any way. Then she is not respecting you for who and what you are. You married her for all that she was and she married you for all that you are as well. I know this is hard to hear but if you try to just suppress this it's just going to hurt you even more in the long run. Honestly I don't think you have to much to worry about because I think she is going to accept this anyways. I would recommend that you try not to think about this that much until you get back home and have a face to face talk about this. I think your just over thinking this right now which is not healthy. That much worrying is not productive or even useful in any way. Try talking to someone on Skype or over the phone when your not working or otherwise distracted. There are lots of things that can distract you from those negative feelings that are healthy. That's what I do when I am under stress like this. Here's a idea I just thought up I am sending you to a link to a site that will most certainly help you relax with meditation I use it myself. http://relaxationbyinnerhealthstudio...elaxation.html

    Be advised there are a huge number of side links with various meditation techniques on them that could help you with specific kinds of stress.



    I have had many things in my life that I believe contributes to my love of diapers. But all of those things have made me the man that I am today, so I do not feel "bad" about them. I like the man I am. If I'm being honest when I first started looking at these kind of websites I was further confused because none of the people that were posting had the same interests as myself, but a lot had the same interests as each other (such as gaming, music, etc...). I know that is silly, but like I said I am just venting.
    It's not silly being yourself. It's called being honest and healthy with yourself. That being said your on the right track because yes your right you should never feel "bad" literally or figuratively speaking about this at all. Keep up the good work Derepaid you are among friends here!



    Since I have started looking at this site I have nothing but good things to say about it. The amount of support I have seen and been given is indescribable. It is so comforting to be able to be MYSELF around others without the fear of social isolation.
    Well thank you very much then. I actually feel honored to hear that actually about our community!



    Right now I am away on business and have been wearing for about a week and a half and I have very much loved it. I am worried that when I get home it wont be accepted by my wife and I will go back to trying to suppress my feelings, and then finally giving into them after years of suppression.
    Well like I said chances are good this will not happen considering how accepting she appears to be. Remember you need to set up boundaries for both of you to respect. She should respect your feelings about diapers while you respect her feelings as well about them. Chances are good if you tell her at some point that you can keep the diapers out of her sight if she is uncomfortable with this. Doing that would help her feel more calm about this actually. On the other hand she has to understand that this is not going to stop even if you yourself want to make it stop. Being a AB or in your case just a DL is never easy but it is useful and not a problem in and off itself either. This is not going to stop no matter what you do and it's unhealthy to try to stop in most cases. You just have to work to ensure it's not going to be a problem that's all.



    Anyway, thank you for all of the support. I only hope that I can some day show the same kind of knowledge and support that I have been shown.
    Actually that is more common place then you would care to believe me if I told you. So I am not going to hope that much simply because odds are your going to give that kind of support anyways! You will do just fine I think.

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