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Thread: I was caught...again

  1. #1

    Default I was caught...again

    A bit surprised that I never talked about this ever since I started chatting more on here. It's especially surprising seeing as how it relates to probably the biggest deal that would ever happen to any AB/DL.

    So, recently, my mother had come down to stay with me while I finished my university studies. During that time, I allowed her to sleep in my room. Automatically, I should've realized the danger as I stash all of my diapers and AB related stuff under my bed. But, unless she decided to look under there, that wouldn't be a problem.

    Well, she got the opportunity to look when she decided to buy me some new bed covers. She decided to immediately change the old ones, and she got a glimpse of a pack of Depends diapers laying under my bed. Thankfully, my pacifier and changing items were hidden away elsewhere, but it was enough for mum to ask me to have a talk.

    Not sure if I brought this up before, but my mum has so far been the only family member to know about AB/DL tendencies. She was the first person I talked to about it once I was becoming more and more attracted to the idea and she found out about my diapers when I was finishing high-school and asked me to get rid of them. Obviously, the latter brought up even more questions from her when she found out that I still bought diapers.

    But this was the crazy part: I was completely calm. When she asked about the diapers, I spoke straightforward and explained about AB/DL. I did my best to tell her straightforward what it is I buy them for. However, I omitted anything about my AB side: I think that would only make matters worse.

    Granted, she still objected to my choice. She brought up how it is likely that me buying diapers is a result of my history of being bullied and is perpetuating my anxiety. I didn't really feel all that strong towards that assumption, and said that I buy them because they are a source of relaxation and joy for me. She asked whether I wear them all the time, and I told her that I only wear a few times a month and that I never wear when there is company around. In the end, she could not see my side of it and still objected to it all. So, in the end, we dropped the conversation, I provided her links to understanding AB/DLs and we never brought it up again.

    I still don't know how to feel about the fact that my mum now fully knows what it is I am. I guess it's because even though she brought up her views on it all and how she doesn't think it is healthy for me, she and I still talk and there seems to be nothing different between us than it was before my AB/DL side was revealed. So...from here, I don't know how things are going to pan out. All I know is that I was caught, but I was surprisingly calm about it all.

  2. #2

  3. #3

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    I'm sorry to hear that dude. Parents can not understand our fetishes but want what is best for us, for all of us. It seems like you tried to take matters as best as you possibly can and although it did not end up with results as you hoped it would be, you should be proud that this diapers related issue has not made your mother question about you nor hate you. All she is doing is feeling concerned for you and that is OK (In a good way) now for a bad way, it may seem that explaining will not get with her so what you must do is just put them away for awhile and come up with a solution to end this bomb as it comes close. You use this for ways that you had to deal with and it helps you calm down and hep you get good grades. Have you told her the good that comes from you wearing diapers?

    If not, then there still might be a chance for some convincing but don't argue with your mother because that will make matters worse as you are still living with her. That is good that you were calm rather than being paranoid about the situation but if your that obsessed with the Ab stuff, you might feel a bit tense but you should wind down and continuing to take baby steps as you are still coming up with your solution. You should still feel good that your mother is not haggling you about this but also confused on how she is exactly taking this. You should ask your mother how she feels about you and "this fetish (Of course Ab stuff and diapers)" is affecting her. You and her met terms about this but you should ask her what is so wrong about diapers. What harm will diapers come to you and her. You should speak this in a rational but calm way. Make it seem like she has control but you have the definitions so you don't hurt any feelings. Although I do not know your mother I can say is that your mother is that "concerned" stage where she is wondering why your into this but wants you to dispose as she feels like this is not healthy for you.

    You brought up links to her but you should realize that she may not read them. She probably read maybe one or two sentences but will still feel like you are neglecting to bring these conversations with her. You have to ask her yourself "again" what is so wrong with this. Instead of providing her these links, it's just best to ask herself the question she asked so she answers her own question, might sound confusing but will provide you the real truth on why she does not want you wearing. If you two continue to fight about this, then your only choice is to just calmly wait and to wear while you are moved out so no feelings get hurt. You don't want that situation where your mom loses trust for her son. She wants what is best for you so continue giving her your love and support and go with your ways.That would be the best choice to everything if she is still objecting to everything you are trying to explain to her. If you want to wear that bad but is no excuse for your family, you should just wait.
    Last edited by Snivy; 18-Nov-2014 at 23:03. Reason: Removing word "condition" causing drama for misplaced word.6

  4. #4

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    Tough break. My mom found my stuff when I was your age and she sent me to a shrink, so I guess you made out better than I did. Like Snivy said, parents are always going to be concerned, and if they don't understand infantalism, they probably won't be supportive. They of course are thinking down the time line. Will this affect dating, getting a job, etc.

    I think I told my mom I would stop just to get her off my back. Obviously I didn't, but it wasn't something she needed to know as it was a private part of my life. This will blow over very quickly. She probably knows it's not something you're going to give up since this was the second time, but she will try to not think about it. It's what us parents do.

    Lastly, bravo to you for handling it so well. I caved in and confessed everything, even giving away our nuclear missile sights. To be fair, I was having a psychotic break at the time, and so she searched my room, probably looking for drugs. Instead she found diapers and gay porn, and bad combination for mothers. Eventually we both got over it. Now I'm happily married and happily diapered, so life goes on and can even be successful. Who knew!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Tough break. My mom found my stuff when I was your age and she sent me to a shrink, so I guess you made out better than I did. Like Snivy said, parents are always going to be concerned, and if they don't understand infantalism, they probably won't be supportive. They of course are thinking down the time line. Will this affect dating, getting a job, etc.

    I think I told my mom I would stop just to get her off my back. Obviously I didn't, but it wasn't something she needed to know as it was a private part of my life. This will blow over very quickly. She probably knows it's not something you're going to give up since this was the second time, but she will try to not think about it. It's what us parents do.

    Lastly, bravo to you for handling it so well. I caved in and confessed everything, even giving away our nuclear missile sights. To be fair, I was having a psychotic break at the time, and so she searched my room, probably looking for drugs. Instead she found diapers and gay porn, and bad combination for mothers. Eventually we both got over it. Now I'm happily married and happily diapered, so life goes on and can even be successful. Who knew!
    Thanks, mate. Actually, now that you brought up your mum finding your diapers and porn, it reminded me that my mum asked me about my sexuality after this whole fiasco. Just like before, I was extraordinarily calm and told her that I was bisexual...in intent, as I have yet to actually get into sexual relations with any one gender. Surprisingly, she took this better than the AB/DL stuff, and said as such.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySwampert View Post
    Thanks, mate. Actually, now that you brought up your mum finding your diapers and porn, it reminded me that my mum asked me about my sexuality after this whole fiasco. Just like before, I was extraordinarily calm and told her that I was bisexual...in intent, as I have yet to actually get into sexual relations with any one gender. Surprisingly, she took this better than the AB/DL stuff, and said as such.
    It's good that she's concerned about you and that you handled everything calmly.

    If you do feel like having another conversation, let me tell you a couple things that worked for me. I don't promise the same results, just some food for thought.

    The thing that I think was most effective with my Mom was reframing the problem. I told her, more than once, that not wearing diapers not only wasn't an option, it wasn't what I wanted. Instead, I asked her to think about what she and I could do given that diapers weren't up for negotiation. That got into a conversation about dating and life balance and such that I think got to the real feelings behind my Mom's fears and gave me a chance to reassure her about what was really worrying her. It tends to be concerns about your own long term happiness and romantic prospects, and if that applies to you too, that's where you need to steer the conversation.

    The second thing was assuring my parents that I'd always keep myself safe, first and foremost. You'll find plenty of articles about privacy and Internet safety on ADISC, but make sure you know you are being safe and can reassure your parents. Sometimes parents can go to done pretty dark places, mentally, if they think you're engaged in behavior that could put you in danger. And I think it's legitimate to worry as a parent about meeting people over the Internet for a fetish. So, again, if any of that applies to you, consider thinking about ways to let them know that you're okay and you're planning to stay that way.

  7. #7

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    My mother caught me when I was still a little boy ... and like the OP, she found diapers under my bed. In hindsight, I was bloody stupid to hide them there.

    My mom was actually fairly understanding; she believed this was a "phase" I was going through and that if she left me alone, I'd grow out of it. I took the opportunity to ask her questions about how babies were diapered, how often they were changed, etc., because I didn't know. I can still hear her response today: "I guess I could put a diaper on you." I wish now that I'd let her diaper me, but I did not.

    My mother did mention what must have seemed an obvious problem: That I would find no woman to marry who would agree to keep me in diapers. Maybe that's a common fear among mothers ... I'm not sure. I went on to have a successful professional career and a healthy marriage, so I guess there's hope. My mother passed away many years ago, never having brought up the subject of my infantilism again.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySwampert View Post
    Thanks, mate. Actually, now that you brought up your mum finding your diapers and porn, it reminded me that my mum asked me about my sexuality after this whole fiasco. Just like before, I was extraordinarily calm and told her that I was bisexual...in intent, as I have yet to actually get into sexual relations with any one gender. Surprisingly, she took this better than the AB/DL stuff, and said as such.
    Please be advised that I making this statement presuming that your going to talk more about this with your mother (or other people you care about). I recognize the possibility that could very well be a conversation that never takes place.

    I would suggest that you make sure your mom understands that being into this is a part of who and what you are. It's never going to stop and it's never going to go away even if you want it to go away. Reassure her that this is just the healthiest option for you and go to explain what happens when a AB/DL does not accept themselves while showing real life examples. I think she will understand the difference between choosing the diapers or the mental health issues that come with not accepting yourself.

    Her being tolerant of your bi-sexuality is a good sign as well. I think she just needs more reassurance that your going to be alright. I would suggest that you tell her that she did nothing wrong in the way she raised you. In fact let her know that chances are good that you became a AB/DL the same day you became bisexual. Being bisexual and AB/DL has little to do most likely with how she raised you most likely. This is just a part of who and what you are possibly from birth. Also ask her the question how does this hurt anyone? Whatever her answer is just reassure her that things are going to just fine and to ask her to try trusting you because she did a good job raising you. If she looks like she does not trust you then ask her if she trusted that she did a good job raising you and reassure her regarding that as well. Whatever you do though do not lose control of your emotions provided this conversation ever takes place. Do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Snivy View Post
    I'm sorry to hear that dude. Parents can not understand our conditions but want what is best for us, for all of us. It seems like you tried to take matters as best as you possibly can and although it did not end up with results as you hoped it would be, you should be proud that this diapers related issue has not made your mother question about you nor hate you. All she is doing is feeling concerned for you and that is OK (In a good way) now for a bad way, it may seem that explaining will not get with her so what you must do is just put them away for awhile and come up with a solution to end this bomb as it comes close. You use this for ways that you had to deal with and it helps you calm down and hep you get good grades. Have you told her the good that comes from you wearing diapers?

    If not, then there still might be a chance for some convincing but don't argue with your mother because that will make matters worse as you are still living with her. That is good that you were calm rather than being paranoid about the situation but if your that obsessed with the Ab stuff, you might feel a bit tense but you should wind down and continuing to take baby steps as you are still coming up with your solution. You should still feel good that your mother is not haggling you about this but also confused on how she is exactly taking this. You should ask your mother how she feels about you and "this fetish (Of course Ab stuff and diapers)" is affecting her. You and her met terms about this but you should ask her what is so wrong about diapers. What harm will diapers come to you and her. You should speak this in a rational but calm way. Make it seem like she has control but you have the definitions so you don't hurt any feelings. Although I do not know your mother I can say is that your mother is that "concerned" stage where she is wondering why your into this but wants you to dispose as she feels like this is not healthy for you.

    You brought up links to her but you should realize that she may not read them. She probably read maybe one or two sentences but will still feel like you are neglecting to bring these conversations with her. You have to ask her yourself "again" what is so wrong with this. Instead of providing her these links, it's just best to ask herself the question she asked so she answers her own question, might sound confusing but will provide you the real truth on why she does not want you wearing. If you two continue to fight about this, then your only choice is to just calmly wait and to wear while you are moved out so no feelings get hurt. You don't want that situation where your mom loses trust for her son. She wants what is best for you so continue giving her your love and support and go with your ways.That would be the best choice to everything if she is still objecting to everything you are trying to explain to her. If you want to wear that bad but is no excuse for your family, you should just wait.
    Snivy, perhaps this is petty of me, but I cringed when you described it as a "condition." I do hope you weren't insinuating a psychiatric underpinning/detrimental nature of our AB/DL tendencies.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by SonicZelda View Post
    Snivy, perhaps this is petty of me, but I cringed when you described it as a "condition." I do hope you weren't insinuating a psychiatric underpinning/detrimental nature of our AB/DL tendencies.
    People say this about my advice. I don't contradict any AB/DL desires from anyone whatsoever. There are bunches of threads I don't want to give advice because it would be stupid and biased. It would not be helpful but me and a few others have been watching over SillySwampert and making sure things are going great for him. I feel for him because I had a friend go through the Bi-sexual stage (Except in this case, it's about diapers) I had to help my friend so I have some average experience on this kind of stuff.

    I was not being rude or tearing anything apart. I did not describe this particular advice as a "condition" but more of a "Self-center" action as he can take action into his own hands without hurting any kinds of feelings. I was not describing this "condition" as there is nothing you can do about it or only do this and your good or this kind of thing happens all the time. Everyone's point of view is different and all families are different, no shame in that, etc.

    Let me guess, to everyone's POV, does anyone else have a problem with the way I word things? I'm not perfect I will admit, but nobody else is perfect either. I sometimes have to proof-read things I type and I stutter when I speak, Am I going to blame anything? No I just have a problem with speaking and it's my fault. Typing? I do type things that may seem inadequate but I still try to help one another.

    EDIT: I also want to add that I hope I did not hurt any feelings when I used that term. Everyone is different so I wanted to try and make it as clear but I guess I might have used the wrong term. If I did hurt your feelings, I am sorry.
    Last edited by Snivy; 18-Nov-2014 at 23:47.

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