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Thread: Wanting to talk about it with your SO.

  1. #1

    Default Wanting to talk about it with your SO.

    I'm pretty sure you guys know I told my GF about this side of me. I don't regret it at all, and I'm glad she knows. But we don't live with each other, so she neither hears nor sees anything about this side of me.

    Part of the reason I told her is so I could have someone to talk about it to. I know she isn't into it, but I was sick of hiding it from everyone, especially her. We're going to move in together soon, but until then, I want to talk about it. About how I am 100% okay with this side of me and other times I'm not. About why, about if she'll try, I don't know. But it's really hard for me to talk about it, or to bring it up. I don't even know how I'd bring it up. What do you guys think I should do?

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pizza View Post
    I'm pretty sure you guys know I told my GF about this side of me. I don't regret it at all, and I'm glad she knows. But we don't live with each other, so she neither hears nor sees anything about this side of me.

    Part of the reason I told her is so I could have someone to talk about it to. I know she isn't into it, but I was sick of hiding it from everyone, especially her. We're going to move in together soon, but until then, I want to talk about it. About how I am 100% okay with this side of me and other times I'm not. About why, about if she'll try, I don't know. But it's really hard for me to talk about it, or to bring it up. I don't even know how I'd bring it up. What do you guys think I should do?
    Wow...that's a lot to deal with. I'm going to sound like an older member, and I hate that, but I'd go easy on the subject. I'm basing this judgement because of your age: 18. I know, it makes me sound condescending, as if those of us who are older use better judgement. It's not that. It's that you are more at the beginning of dating, and more so, discovering who you are.

    I would spend the majority of your time developing the foundation of your relationship. Relationships can be complicated and adding diapers into the mix may be overwhelming for your girlfriend, especially if she too is 18. As we get older, we experience more things, especially things which are a bit more "out there". Because of that, we tend to be less shocked by things which are on the outskirts of social norms.

    You have brought the subject up so at some point, it probably will have to be discussed, but I would put that toward the bottom of your list. Once you're living together, assuming you are going to want to wear diapers, you will have to come to some mutual acceptance. My feeling is you still have time.

    My other thought is this. Moving in together at the age of 18 means you, or the both of you will be working? Have you thought about furthering your education? Even a two year associate degree will give you much better opportunities for employment. Remember that you have your whole life in front of you, and you will want to advance in the job market and make more money. I'm just conjecturing here. For all I know, you may have a great job. Anyway, these are my thoughts and concerns of the top of my head.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Wow...that's a lot to deal with. I'm going to sound like an older member, and I hate that, but I'd go easy on the subject. I'm basing this judgement because of your age: 18. I know, it makes me sound condescending, as if those of us who are older use better judgement. It's not that. It's that you are more at the beginning of dating, and more so, discovering who you are.

    I would spend the majority of your time developing the foundation of your relationship. Relationships can be complicated and adding diapers into the mix may be overwhelming for your girlfriend, especially if she too is 18. As we get older, we experience more things, especially things which are a bit more "out there". Because of that, we tend to be less shocked by things which are on the outskirts of social norms.

    You have brought the subject up so at some point, it probably will have to be discussed, but I would put that toward the bottom of your list. Once you're living together, assuming you are going to want to wear diapers, you will have to come to some mutual acceptance. My feeling is you still have time.

    My other thought is this. Moving in together at the age of 18 means you, or the both of you will be working? Have you thought about furthering your education? Even a two year associate degree will give you much better opportunities for employment. Remember that you have your whole life in front of you, and you will want to advance in the job market and make more money. I'm just conjecturing here. For all I know, you may have a great job. Anyway, these are my thoughts and concerns of the top of my head.
    Oh, yes, we're definitely focused on getting good careers, we just want to move in with each other. I plan on marrying this girl, too. Really really long story short, we're sure we'll stay together. But, again, long story short, I just got into family trouble, she's in family trouble, and every single one of my problems I talk with her about. ABDL, I would like to think it wasn't an exception, but it has turned into one. And I don't like that, because this is a big part of me, and I feel like she would help me with this.

  4. #4

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    How long have you been together, and how much is your diapers a part of your life? The right move was definitely to tell her about it before moving in together in my opinion, starting a serious relationship with a big secret like that isn't healthy. I think i am in agreement with Dogboy at this point now though, you probably will want time to develop a deeper relationship at this point, depending on some of your circumstances anyhow. If you are really feeling a heavy need to talk to somebody about it for some type of stability, then perhaps you can bring that up, "could i talk to you about ... it would really help me find some personal closure."

    Relationships are important to feel like you can be open with each other and support each other in anything, but doing too much of that early on can drown a relationship out of settling into something solid, people can think you are going to be needy all of the time. It all really depends on if you feel like you both are pretty solid at this point.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pizza View Post
    Oh, yes, we're definitely focused on getting good careers, we just want to move in with each other. I plan on marrying this girl, too. Really really long story short, we're sure we'll stay together. But, again, long story short, I just got into family trouble, she's in family trouble, and every single one of my problems I talk with her about. ABDL, I would like to think it wasn't an exception, but it has turned into one. And I don't like that, because this is a big part of me, and I feel like she would help me with this.
    I'm glad you're considering furthering your education. You may be able to tell, I'm a retired educator as is my wife, and all our kids went into teaching of some sort. If you are very close to this girl and she you, I think you can get past the hurdle of wearing diapers. When I was young, I had a lot of trouble accepting that part of me. When I got married, I didn't tell my wife and I didn't wear for years. Eventually I did and over time, she found out. She was and is very accepting, so there are plenty of spouses who will support you in this.

    Compromise is important, meaning that there are times to wear, and times to not, giving that attention solely to your spouse. From what I'm hearing you say, I think you have a good handle on this. I wish you and your girlfriend the best.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pizza View Post
    Oh, yes, we're definitely focused on getting good careers, we just want to move in with each other. I plan on marrying this girl, too. Really really long story short, we're sure we'll stay together. But, again, long story short, I just got into family trouble, she's in family trouble, and every single one of my problems I talk with her about. ABDL, I would like to think it wasn't an exception, but it has turned into one. And I don't like that, because this is a big part of me, and I feel like she would help me with this.
    it sounds like it is something that you could probably approach from this perspective of a relationship. Maybe you can say "sweetums(*whatever name she goes by) I know i can trust you with anything, and it would mean the world to me if i could be more open to you about my liking diapers, but i only want that if you are comfortable with that."

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