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Thread: Is being an ABDL related to asexuality?

  1. #1

    Default Is being an ABDL related to asexuality?

    Hi everyone

    I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this.

    But I was wondering if anyone knows (if it is the same for most people): whether there is a connection between people who are ABDLs and asexual?

    To explain that further (I understand my question doesn't make much sense). I've known I'm an ABDL for some time. It started when I was 6, continued until I was 10 or so, and came back around 11 quite badly (and continued now until 22).

    I also think I'm asexual, and I notice a lot of ABDLs are asexual too (I realise a lot, if not most aren't too).

    For me, being an ABDL isn't a 'big' sexual thing, but it is more sexual to me that sex itself. Which is partly strange since I was interested in being an ABDL before reaching puberty (i.e. no/limited sexual feelings, and none towards ABDL at that point- just the feeling towards liking it).

    So my question is, do you think being an ABDL has led me to be asexual, or perhaps vice versa? Any thoughts?

    Hopefully you see my thought pattern, if not I can clarify.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    I also think I'm asexual, and I notice a lot of ABDLs are asexual too (I realise a lot, if not most aren't too).
    Various polls we've done and those I've seen elsewhere suggest asexuality is more common than the ~1% prevalence seen in the general population, but maybe a few percentage points more.

    Non-heterosexual sexualities, or at least reported non-heterosexual sexualities, all seem to be more common among ABDLs, but heterosexuals are still the largest block by a wide margin.




    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    For me, being an ABDL isn't a 'big' sexual thing, but it is more sexual to me that sex itself. Which is partly strange since I was interested in being an ABDL before reaching puberty (i.e. no/limited sexual feelings, and none towards ABDL at that point- just the feeling towards liking it).
    This sounds pretty typical for an asexual ABDL. In fact, it sounds a lot like my own situation.




    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    So my question is, do you think being an ABDL has led me to be asexual, or perhaps vice versa? Any thoughts?
    What causes sexual orientation, much less more obscure ones and fetishism, is not yet well understood. Thus, proposing causal statements is pure speculation.



    I would recommend not worrying much about the "why" because it's not really possible to answer that at this point in time.

  3. #3

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    I will go out on a limb here and suggest that AB is far more likely than DL. AB is about infantilizm which is pre-sexual development. DLs on the other hand may or may not make the indulgence a sexual experience. For me it is a mixed bag. I enjoy wearing a diaper for its own sake and will not be aroused, but later remembering using it can be sexually stimulating.

    So all of you ABs out there, I went out on this limb. Feel free to saw through it and send me crashing to the ground!
    Last edited by Kenn; 31-Oct-2014 at 12:58.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    But I was wondering if anyone knows (if it is the same for most people): whether there is a connection between people who are ABDLs and asexual?
    I think, as Fruitkitty mentions, that there's a higher than average occurrence of asexuality within the ABDL community. That implies a statistical connection (though correlation is not causation and all that). There are also a lot of people who post here who do have regular sexual attraction as well as attraction based around diapers, people who only have regular sexual attraction and for whom diapers are non-sexual, and people are strictly into diapers and would consider themselves asexual. Not to mention pretty much every point on the spectrum in the middle somewhere.



    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    To explain that further (I understand my question doesn't make much sense). I've known I'm an ABDL for some time. It started when I was 6, continued until I was 10 or so, and came back around 11 quite badly (and continued now until 22).

    I also think I'm asexual, and I notice a lot of ABDLs are asexual too (I realise a lot, if not most aren't too).

    For me, being an ABDL isn't a 'big' sexual thing, but it is more sexual to me that sex itself. Which is partly strange since I was interested in being an ABDL before reaching puberty (i.e. no/limited sexual feelings, and none towards ABDL at that point- just the feeling towards liking it).
    I'm very similar to you in this regard. I more or less consider myself asexual (though I'm still working on figuring out the exact contours of that, it's something that's been on my mind quite a bit lately). I can at least say that I've always been interested in diapers, probably even from before I was 6, that diapers did become a source of sexual attraction for me, and on the other hand I've never been motivated to pursue a woman (or a man) physically.

    While the ABDL community makes discussion of what a "normal" ABDL is sort of like trying to fire an arrow at a target with a blindfold on after you've been spun around several times, I would suggest to you that there's nothing wrong or especially unusual about the way that your development has gone over your life. It's just one variation of ABDL and one variation of the huge spectrum of human sexuality.



    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    So my question is, do you think being an ABDL has led me to be asexual, or perhaps vice versa? Any thoughts?

    Hopefully you see my thought pattern, if not I can clarify.
    Well, like I mentioned above, correlation isn't causation. There could be a lot of factors that create the correlation in the ABDL community. One I'd posit for testing would be the generally sexually liberal nature and gender liberal nature of the community. Once you're into diapers, being accepting of alternate sexualities seems pretty tame, so this might simply be a comfortable place for people to openly discuss these things.



    Quote Originally Posted by Fruitkitty View Post
    This sounds pretty typical for an asexual ABDL. In fact, it sounds a lot like my own situation.
    Well, that makes three data points for this particular route of developing.




    Quote Originally Posted by Fruitkitty View Post
    I would recommend not worrying much about the "why" because it's not really possible to answer that at this point in time.
    Probably the best advice unless you're just bored and want something to toss about in your brain. The "why" isn't really that important.



    Quote Originally Posted by Kenn View Post
    So all of you ABs out there, I went out on this limb. Feel free to saw through it and send me crashing to the ground!
    Well, I'm a DL, the OP is a DL, and Fruitkitty self-labels as DL, so anecdotally, your limb isn't doing so well. Again though, the spectrum is pretty vast. I think one could be into diaper sexually and have that be correlated with asexuality. Someone else might be into regression and have very little or no sexual desire.

    What's important isn't figuring out the labels. The important thing is finding the balance in your life that you need to function and be happy.

  5. #5

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    I think there's not sexual conection only. For me - It's quite sexual, but not at all... I can't sleep without paci in the same "comfort and relax level." But my DL part has mostly sexual sexual context.

    Just is that what makes me AB ?

    And one more: Seems there's more % level "messing diapers ABs" than DLs. I'd ask Why. But it's nothing really important for me.

    Note: I don't like to mess diapers.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post

    Well, I'm a DL, the OP is a DL, and Fruitkitty self-labels as DL, so anecdotally, your limb isn't doing so well. Again though, the spectrum is pretty vast. I think one could be into diaper sexually and have that be correlated with asexuality. Someone else might be into regression and have very little or no sexual desire.
    Actually, I think that my limb is doing quite well. Two of you are of the AB subset of DL to which I was referring. DFs were not part of the original question.

  7. #7

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    I don't know if more of us are asexual, or just that more are willing to identify that we are.

    I mean I've never seen anywhere else where the question of how you identify sexually was asked, and people didn't feel any pressure on how they should answer(or to avoid the question entirely).

    So my theory is that people are more willing to talk about these parts of themselves on sites as these.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenn View Post
    I will go out on a limb here and suggest that AB is far more likely than DL. AB is about infantilizm which is pre-sexual development. DLs on the other hand may or may not make the indulgence a sexual experience. For me it is a mixed bag. I enjoy wearing a diaper for its own sake and will not be aroused, but later remembering using it can be sexually stimulating.

    So all of you ABs out there, I went out on this limb. Feel free to saw through it and send me crashing to the ground!
    As an AB, I'd say that's fairly accurate. One thing I would point out is that having tendencies to enjoy roleplay at a pre-sexual age doesn't mean that an AB's adult side doesn't have sexual elements. For example, I would class myself as a heterosexual guy with an ordinary libido. It's just that AB is a non-sexual interest for me, and appeals to a part of my brain which isn't sexually charged.

  9. #9

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    Most of the surveys done, here and by BitterGrey, have shown a substantial DL tilt. That said, we see quite a few people now who claim to be DL while also claiming it to be non-sexual, so the term "DL" is no longer the synonym for "diaper fetishist" that it used to be.

    I was into diapers well before puberty. They emerged as plainly sexual when I was 12-ish, but in the 6 years before that, what were they to me? It's funny, but I honestly don't remember. I liked wearing them, either for physical or emotional comfort (or some combination), but the later sexual component erased all of that. Still, I suppose it means I can claim to have been one of these non-sexual DLs at one point, however unfathomable such a thing is to me now.

    I was also sexually bonded with diapers for several years before the though of having sex appealed to me. I was aroused exclusively by diapers until my mid teens. So was I "asexual" by some definition? Maybe, but I suppose this sort of "sexual flutter" doesn't count for much. I regard myself as fully heterosexual these days, with diapers as their own little world.

  10. #10

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    I don't think it's likely that one causes the other but the data and research in this area is really inadequate. I would be interested to know more about it just like I'd be interested to learn more about any of the mind's workings but I don't think such results would be very important to me personally. I am well engaged in dealing with my own issues and causes are much less helpful than what's going on right now.




    Quote Originally Posted by Kenn View Post
    I will go out on a limb here and suggest that AB is far more likely than DL. AB is about infantilizm which is pre-sexual development. DLs on the other hand may or may not make the indulgence a sexual experience. For me it is a mixed bag. I enjoy wearing a diaper for its own sake and will not be aroused, but later remembering using it can be sexually stimulating.

    So all of you ABs out there, I went out on this limb. Feel free to saw through it and send me crashing to the ground!
    As to this, I identify as ABDL and there is definitely a sexual component across my spectrum of interest. The AB end of things is no less sexually charged than the DL, and I'm just fine with that. At least in my case, I would say that the feelings for diapers and baby things were sexual in nature from the outset at age 3-4. I didn't understand what that meant but the arousal has consistently played a part in the interest.

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