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Thread: Is it normal: AB vs Adult world

  1. #1

    Default Is it normal: AB vs Adult world

    Is it normal for the rest of you guys to feel intimidated about the adult world? Often times I go through spurts of feeling confident about my future, and then the rest of the time i just feel like i'm not that great at being an adult and i'm afraid. Right now I'm just in this mood where I think to myself: 'Tyger, your not going to be a very high demand person for a career, so many people know so much more than you do' then I wonder why the heck i'm going into my career field.

    I hate the adult world, I wish i had a choice not to be an adult.

    ~One of those moods~

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Is it normal for the rest of you guys to feel intimidated about the adult world? Often times I go through spurts of feeling confident about my future, and then the rest of the time i just feel like i'm not that great at being an adult and i'm afraid. Right now I'm just in this mood where I think to myself: 'Tyger, your not going to be a very high demand person for a career, so many people know so much more than you do' then I wonder why the heck i'm going into my career field.

    I hate the adult world, I wish i had a choice not to be an adult.

    ~One of those moods~
    I've talked about this before but it bears saying again. For some strange reason, I've always felt like a kid in an adult's world. When I graduated from college, I looked very young, and did for many years, but I don't think that had all that much to do with it. I've always just felt like a boy lost in the adult world.

    Ironically, after graduation, I was the organist for the largest Methodist church in Ohio, and I was very successful at it. I even became the back up accompanist for Cleveland Orchestra/Chorus under the direction of Dr. Robert Page. Still, I felt like a kid faking it as an adult.

    Years later I became a director myself, directing and leading a lot of people. I've lectured at our Fine Arts program, been consulted by many professionals, played on Public Radio and the list goes on. I still feel like a kid lost among adults. I think it's who we are.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Is it normal for the rest of you guys to feel intimidated about the adult world? Often times I go through spurts of feeling confident about my future, and then the rest of the time i just feel like i'm not that great at being an adult and i'm afraid. Right now I'm just in this mood where I think to myself: 'Tyger, your not going to be a very high demand person for a career, so many people know so much more than you do' then I wonder why the heck i'm going into my career field.

    I hate the adult world, I wish i had a choice not to be an adult.

    ~One of those moods~
    I myself have always had an aversion to the adult world. Being raised by a psychotic fruitcake adult parent, my Mom, I was forced to be an adult to survive my childhood. I have always seen the adult world as totally fucked up and crazy. The world of childhood to me was more logical, sane, and whole.

  4. #4

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    Honestly it's natural to feel intimidated Tyger. I would be a liar if said I was not intimidated myself. People who say they are not intimidated by the adult world whether they are AB/DL or not are either crazy or a liar if not both. Never let society decide who and what you should be because you are all something more then just a mere category of some description.

  5. #5

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    I think those feelings hit everyone at some point (ABDL or not).

    Transitioning from school to the work environment is a very big step for most. School provides a fairly guided and straight forward effort/reward environment with relatively low stakes, whereas the adult world is kind of a free-for-all, rewards are rarely directly proportional to effort, and the stakes are much higher. It's totally normal to be worried about jumping from a relatively comfortable situation into that.

    I think most people, even non-ABDLs, would love to retain some of the care-free nature of their youth. I mean who wouldn't want to just play video games and watch TV without a care in the world while the "grown ups" keep everything running that enables you to do that. Unfortunately, the world would just collapse if we all did that. Stuff needs to be done, adults need to do it, and our lovely capitalist system is needed to keep everything sorta-working.

  6. #6

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    The intimidation, is what I think drives us to be better than our own standards. I know this coming from me is surprising, but I recently realized that life without challenges, struggles, and the ever so fearsome thought of failure is what keeps us moving. It is how we know we are still alive. The world is a big scary place, and it is normal to feel intimidated by it, and other people. They may know a bit more, but are they as creative in coming up with solutions to problems. Sure you can go by the book and take an easy way, but sometimes the easy way just isn't the solution. You are unique, and valuable in many other ways than they are. I know I don't personally know you, but I know that if you put your mind to it you can do anything. I hope this helps.

  7. #7

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    Kid, relax.
    Everything everyone else has said is true.

    You don't have the choice not to be an adult.
    You also don't have the choice not to be little.
    Play.
    A career is fine. Have a sense of humor.
    Not also. The same.

    Be scared. It's Halloween.

    Be hungry. Be foolish.
    Play. Be gentle with yourself.

  8. #8

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    Thanks everyone, I'd quote you all to let you know directly that it is helpful reassurance, but there are a lot of you that have responded.

    Mostly, it just helps to have people reassure me. I agree though, everyone, AB or not, bets intimidated. I can't help but feel like what dogboy said though, a kid lost in an adult world. So far though, my life has been able to remain fairly stable. I'm too afraid to mess up, I'm too afraid to loose what security I have since I can at least have time to myself to be little when I'm alone. I just really hope that I can get the remainder of my school done, and If i can find a job around 40 grand, heck even 30 grand, I would feel safer. I want to do a good job, and I feel like I would make a great employee, but I certainly feel a bit slow in learning sometimes, and I never feel like I know enough. I know that nobody will ever know enough though, and pretty much everybody is faking it to some extent. I just sometimes wish I wasn't going into the field that I am going into. I love it, because I do cool stuff (I'm in computer science, and it is fun to program things) but its a continuously changing field. I want something that is going to change a little less quickly. Something that I can master in a few years, then ride the train all the way home. Problem is, I'm really getting close to finishing my degree, and I still do enjoy it, I just will never know enough though, it drives me crazy.

    anyway. I'm trying to do my best to stick to it. Thank you again to everyone who posted.

  9. #9

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    You are very welcome. Anytime you feel down just give a quick shout to someone. Keep your head up, and pounce forward brave little Tyger.

  10. #10

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    For me it's weird because I'm very different in different spheres. Although I, like everyone else, have at times felt intimidated, when it comes to academics and work, I have always taken that as a challenge and tried to rise higher and do more. I find intellectual challenges engaging, and my ABDL side supports that. I find a great deal of personal vitality in the mental of image of outwitting somebody on a very complex matter, yet not quite being out of diapers. One of my happiest moments was when we had some snow days last winter, and I got to work on a big report I was writing while actually sitting at home diapered. I also care a great deal about trying to do good in the world with my work and I have pursued a lot of opportunities that I felt were making a difference for other people's lives. Even at those moments where I do feel like a kid trying to fake it in an adult world, I try to own that and, as one of the old sayings goes "fake it till you make it."

    On the other hand, when it comes to romance, I've always been very shy and felt out of place. There's a whole complex set of reasons for this, I think, of which ABDL is only one aspect. Nevertheless, I'm only just now feeling the desire to be more proactive when it comes to trying to find romance, and I still feel very uncertain about how I should go about it, and quite out of my element.



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Mostly, it just helps to have people reassure me. I agree though, everyone, AB or not, bets intimidated. I can't help but feel like what dogboy said though, a kid lost in an adult world.
    You should be reassured. Everyone really does feel that. What's important is that you're doing a good job making your way through the world anyway, and even when you feel scared, you don't let it overwhelm you.



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    So far though, my life has been able to remain fairly stable. I'm too afraid to mess up, I'm too afraid to loose what security I have since I can at least have time to myself to be little when I'm alone. I just really hope that I can get the remainder of my school done, and If i can find a job around 40 grand, heck even 30 grand, I would feel safer. I want to do a good job, and I feel like I would make a great employee, but I certainly feel a bit slow in learning sometimes, and I never feel like I know enough. I know that nobody will ever know enough though, and pretty much everybody is faking it to some extent. I just sometimes wish I wasn't going into the field that I am going into. I love it, because I do cool stuff (I'm in computer science, and it is fun to program things) but its a continuously changing field. I want something that is going to change a little less quickly. Something that I can master in a few years, then ride the train all the way home. Problem is, I'm really getting close to finishing my degree, and I still do enjoy it, I just will never know enough though, it drives me crazy.

    anyway. I'm trying to do my best to stick to it. Thank you again to everyone who posted.
    There are very few fields that actually never change. Computer programming may be an especially fast one, but it's also one with some rock-solid basic principles that can be applied to any language you learn and any project you undertake. Even somebody that goes into a more stodgy field, like history or archeology, has to constantly keep up with new methods of study, new academic ideas, and new evidence in their chosen area of expertise.

    You should be reassured once again though because you said that it's fun to program things. As long as you're doing something that you like, it's not too big a burden to keep learning new things about it. You might think you'd like the stability, but I bet you'd be bored within a few months if all you did was stuff that you already knew how to do for hours every day. The baby time and stability will come, especially if you do end up doing well and saving up some money, but don't be afraid to keep on pushing yourself either. Even a scared little kid can do great things if he puts his mind to it.

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