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Thread: Introducing partner to diapers, advice ?

  1. #1

    Question Introducing partner to diapers, advice ?

    Recently myself and my partner decided we have reached the stage where we are both comfortable with exploring a sort of cg/little or dd/lg dynamic. For me diapers are a big part of this and they are completely open to trying but im still rather nervous and not sure of the best way to ease to process of it.

    Also we both knew about each others more unusual activities and likes prior to entering into a relationship which started earlyish this year.

    Anyway mostly looking for any tips or perhaps someone who has been through a similar experience to allay silly fears

  2. #2

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    In my opinion, honesty and openness can't go wrong in the long term. I would just pull your partner aside sometime when you are both casually chatting alone and bring it up. Tell them that even though you REALLY appreciate them being so accepting of everything, you're nervous about going through with the role play scenario. You don't necessarily have to initially know why, but at least they can understand what you're feeling and you can both work it out together as to why you feel that way and how you can get over it. I have a feeling most of your apprehension comes from not being able to 100% know how your SO feels about the whole situation, regardless of what they have told you. If that's the case, then the only way to fix that is talking to them. Ideally they will take a cue from your honesty and open up to you as well.

    In terms of the actual roleplay, I would relinquish some of the anxiety by introducing your partner to the things that make you feel little (assuming you haven't already done so). Lay out one of each type of diaper you have and let them make the decision on which one they want to see you wear. If they have no clue, then keep talking it out with them. Say "Well, I really like that one because of the designs and stuff, but it's not as comfortable as this one..." etc. This way you are both bonding on expressing interests and opinions. You could gradually introduce these things to them and gauge their reaction then act accordingly. If they appear to be a bit averse to the whole thing, then suggest that you try looking through everything later when you've both had time to process everything. Take it slow so neither of you freak out, and when you both feel comfortable, it will naturally happen and feel right.

    I do have to inform you to take my advice with a grain of salt though. I've never met another AB/DL in real life (well, one that I knew was an AB/DL anyway) so I haven't personally experienced this situation. But, in any relationship, talking to each other is paramount to helping each other conquer fears and problems. Relationships are 2 way streets. It's ok to feel nervous, but you don't have to go through that alone. Your partner probably feels nervous too.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigKid25 View Post
    In terms of the actual roleplay, I would relinquish some of the anxiety by introducing your partner to the things that make you feel little (assuming you haven't already done so). Lay out one of each type of diaper you have and let them make the decision on which one they want to see you wear. If they have no clue, then keep talking it out with them. Say "Well, I really like that one because of the designs and stuff, but it's not as comfortable as this one..." etc. This way you are both bonding on expressing interests and opinions. You could gradually introduce these things to them and gauge their reaction then act accordingly. If they appear to be a bit averse to the whole thing, then suggest that you try looking through everything later when you've both had time to process everything. Take it slow so neither of you freak out, and when you both feel comfortable, it will naturally happen and feel right.
    Ahh perhaps my post wasn't clear,

    This is a tad different to normal, I am a dom/CG so in what im trying to achieve they will be the little and wearing.
    Which is why I am finding it a little hard because its harder for them to acclimatize to me wearing then themselves I think.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    Recently myself and my partner decided we have reached the stage where we are both comfortable with exploring a sort of cg/little or dd/lg dynamic. For me diapers are a big part of this and they are completely open to trying but im still rather nervous and not sure of the best way to ease to process of it.

    Also we both knew about each others more unusual activities and likes prior to entering into a relationship which started earlyish this year.

    Anyway mostly looking for any tips or perhaps someone who has been through a similar experience to allay silly fears
    What you could be looking at is nothing out of the ordinary. I'm sure people have had the same issue before.

    BigKid did suggest that but he CAN think outside the box of the consequences. You have to first "understand" what will cause others around you. If you don't care what others think then your first step is complete.

    You just need to calm down and relax. Probably would be anxiety levels up but maybe your levels are a little bit too extreme and you may want to take things slow for a little bit, and get back into your activities. I can suggest just going along with your normal routine of doing stuff yourself, same for your partner that way your thoughts are in a dead zone for awhile and stored away in a file inside your brain. Then maybe perhaps try again at a later time. It's best to douse your feelings for different effects and outcomes like if your body is fully relaxed, then you might not have anything to worry about but if your normal and you start to panic, then levels will increase and you start to become nervous, that's when people start to back down, try again, back down, try again, and they eventually do not worry about it. If you have done something similar before, then perhaps refer to thoughts about that and prove dignity that you have courage and nothing should stop you or cause you any fear into doing this to your partner. I also wouldn't call it "silly fears" because it may be your first time or not but your out of practice, I don't know in this case but it doesn't make you less out of the ordinary so you have nothing to worry about. I would go for it if you have confidence, maybe look up a training-video if this IS your first time and you start to feel nervous about the whole thing. Kinda like a mother changing a baby and hoping natural instincts kick in, if not, they do have training courses :p



    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    Ahh perhaps my post wasn't clear,

    This is a tad different to normal, I am a dom/CG so in what im trying to achieve they will be the little and wearing.
    Which is why I am finding it a little hard because its harder for them to acclimatize to me wearing then themselves I think.
    I think this is what "acclimatize" means: (Cited from google=respond physiologically or behaviorally to changes in a complex of environmental factors.)

    You don't have to do this if you don't feel comfortable in any way, don't force yourself into doing something you may not feel you are ready for. "I" for one have made mistakes before where I forced things and I later regretted in the future. *I went off-topic for this one I-apologize* Just have a talk with your partner. If your partner not ready or comfortable, then wait at their own discretion. Don't force something they aren't ready for or if they are ready but are not comfortable yet. You can also ask your partner would rather like the idea but do it themselves and if they are ready, then ask for your assistance. That's the best step into your solution but it's all about being calm.

    You can set an example on the stuff you do and show how easy and mature this stage is without hurting feelings at all. Show the stuff you do and what your partner can do at the same time or something similar, show that you are happy and you will give faith and positive examples that it's ok and nothing should cause any doubt or losing sparks between the two of you. Just make sure the both of you are willing to do this and how comfortable the both of you feel before engaging.

    There is another tricky solution but I don't know if it'll work. What you CAN do is decide what attitude your partner wants to establish or what ways do you want to be satisfied with by going to help your partner. Do they want calm feelings, mature/immature role-plays, etc... How would you feel if you went with this and you ask them "Are you sure your ok with this?" Then continue but don't ask about every 5 minutes, then your going to draw some nervous thoughts inside your head again.
    Last edited by Snivy; 09-Oct-2014 at 20:24.

  5. #5

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    In the past, I've been in a relationship with someone who accepted by DL interests.

    Honesty and communication are really important. Setting boundaries is also really important - know what the other DOESN'T want to do.

    If you're really nervous about exploring that side of you, I'd suggest getting your partner to open up about any of their kinks/interests and exploring that with them first so you two can develop a stronger bond with each other and better understand one another.

    And ease into things... you will find it will become easier over time if both of you are willing.

  6. #6

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    If you are a dom CG, working diapers into the role playing may be more of a logical next step than you think. There are thousands of pictures on Tumblr, so this is nothing new. Your partner may have some prior knowledge to this. If not, you should go slowly, explaining as much as you know. Maybe it would be beneficial to not throw everything out there during the first discussion. Give your partner time to absorb what you're say, and opportunities to ask questions. I think you'll be fine in all of this if you go slowly.

  7. #7

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    Just remember it's a first time for the both of you and you both probably have the same fears. There's nothing wrong with expressing those fears up front. My fiancÚ opened up to me about his DL lifestyle (about a year ago) and has let me set the pace. We ask each other questions and express fears all the time. You'll find that by giving word to your fears or concerns the weight they create will evaporate.
    Good luck

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