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Thread: Telling my Significant other...

  1. #1

    Default Telling my Significant other...

    So my boyfriend was over and we got to the subject of fetishes...So i brought up mine. I mentioned my instagrams status and he was like "Wow" then i showed him my profile and i explained this is what i like.

    He then said "Okay..." while smiling at me. then said "You're weird" ending with a little chuckle. I said he wouldnt break up with me because of it. It just haunts the back of my mind that it is a possibility. I know he said he wouldn't but the thought still lingers even though he said so.

    should i continue bringing this up or just let it go.

    He is the first one to let this out. Hope its not the last.

  2. #2

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    Let it go. You confided in him about your fetish and he confided to you his, which I assume isn't "weird" as he put it? Anyway, the ball is in his court. He said he wouldn't break up with you so let it go for now and see if he lives up to his word. If he really is OK with it then maybe it will become a part of your relationship.

  3. #3

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    Stick with it is what I say. His reaction sounds pretty positive I think. Honestly, I think it is better to have something a little weird like this because it makes you more unique and special. It is easy for him to find ways that make you happy. The fact he is smiling about it is pretty good. Just work a little bit at a time. You might be able to ask him if he minds you wearing a diaper around him or sucking on a paci, just little things at a time, he will probably find it cute.

  4. #4

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    People like confidence. If you are constantly asking if your boyfriend truly accepts your fetish and won't leave you due to it, eventually he will get turned off and leave you because of your perceived uncertainty. He should feel comfortable that you trust in him not to be so base as to leave you because of a fetish. But don't push him away.

    I would follow Tyger's advice personally. Maybe gauge his reaction before you put him in an awkward position, but by all means, live your life the way you want to.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Honestly, I think it is better to have something a little weird like this because it makes you more unique and special. It is easy for him to find ways that make you happy.
    This is an important piece of advice here PassieFire, and I think you should bear that in mind whenever you think about this subject. Being weird, being unique and being special are all the same thing really. It's just a matter of the way you look at it. It's a lot easier to let your insecurities take hold and imagine everyone will look at you in the worst way, but that's not always the case (especially if we're talking about someone who really cares about you).

    That being said, I don't think I can answer this question without having been there when you told him. If his reaction seemed positive that's nice of course. Did he seem relaxed and calm at the time though? If he did, great! I would reccomend following the advice of everyone so far and just stick with it. There's no need to make a problem where there isn't one. However, If he is uncomfortable with this part of you, he might have just acted normal to avoid a discussion. If you really think he might be unsure about all this - and I mean if that really is what you think because I certainly don't mean to put any bad ideas in your head - then I would wait for an appropriate time and ask him if he's okay with all of that stuff. If he's genuinely doubtful and confused, it would be a lot better to start a discussion with him, instead of letting him worry about starting one with you. From that point you can talk calmly with him and make sure both of you are happy and not in any uncomfortable situation. It would be better than letting him worry and get confused about this alone.

    I must stress though that I'm not trying to make you worry or panic. It seemed from your description that things went well and everything is most likely alright. It's just that no one in this forum was there with you when you talked to him, and if you really think he does have a problem with it, I think it would be best to try and resolve it.

    By any means, good luck! I hope things work out well and I commend you for your bravery in coming out to your boyfriend. Take care.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by PassieFire View Post
    He then said "Okay..." while smiling at me. then said "You're weird" ending with a little chuckle. I said he wouldnt break up with me because of it. It just haunts the back of my mind that it is a possibility. I know he said he wouldn't but the thought still lingers even though he said so.

    should i continue bringing this up or just let it go.
    That depends a lot on information you haven't given us. Have you been dating for 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years? Is he sexually conservative or does he like to try new things? Is this just a fling or is it something you're looking for a deeper relationship in? How much of your lives are you sharing at this point? Living arrangements, finances? Do you talk a lot making plans for the future or are you still seeing where things are going to go? This stuff is important to your question.

  7. #7

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    He's liked me for 5 years and we finally got together 2 months ago. I talk about how we want to live together. We try new things when that moment comes, We also say i love a lot.

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