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Thread: Will be moving with my boyfriend and his parents in a few months, concerns.

  1. #1

    Default Will be moving with my boyfriend and his parents in a few months, concerns.

    I talked to my boyfriend today and he told me that I'm going to have to stop wearing diapers when I arrive to Canada. I will be living with his parents, and he doesn't want problems with them or any of his family. He's concerned that I'll give myself away by bending down or something.

    The family dynamic will not allow for me to wear without a potential liability. There's people roaming the house at all hours, two young kids (5, and 18 months); any of them finding out could be disastrous.

    My SO and I have a deep, fervent love for one another. He loves me unconditionally, and I love him.

    I am SOO looking forward to being with him, but it means that I will no longer be able to wear diapers...

    I'm worried that I will almost become dependent on the diapers, not in terms of incontinence, but just getting used to them and feeling weird without them...

    He has mentioned that when we get our own place, that I will be able to wear them as long as he's not home.
    Last edited by Crinklesaurus; 28-Aug-2014 at 01:49.

  2. #2

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    I guess the big question is, how long will you be living with the parents? The other question is, why can't you wear diapers when he's home? It sounds like there isn't a lot of acceptance by your boyfriend. Are you going to be able to sustain this over the years of a relationship?

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    It sounds like there isn't a lot of acceptance by your boyfriend.
    ^ This. A million times, this.

    The big, big BIG question: why are you willing to settle for someone who doesn't accept you as you are?

  4. #4

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    He does accept me, he has been entirely supportive of me during this whole ordeal. At first he thought that I was a pedophile, but he was able to learn more about me and the ABDL lifestyle and come to the conclusion that I wasn't a pervert, just an Adult Baby.

    He doesn't want to see me in diapers firstly because it reminds him of his little sister; secondly, it is a huge turn-of for him, and makes him very uncomfortable.

    To say that he doesn't accept me would be fallacious, he does accept me, and does so unconditionally. He just isn't comfortable with it.

  5. #5

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    SonicZelda this is really hard to say but being a AB/DL is something that is never going to stop and never go away whether you want it to or not. If you move in with those parents and not be allowed to wear diapers your going to hurt yourself eventually. If your SO does not want you to wear diapers around him then he does not accept this facet of yourself. I know hearing this might very well make you angry but you could be hurt even worse if you just try to live without diapers as this is a part of who and what you are. The truth of the matter is if your SO is not comfortable with this aspect of yourself then he needs to get comfortable with it because that is part of accepting who and what you are. I know you don't want to hear this but if he can't accept this then your going to get hurt. Think about it your moving to a different location away from most of the people you know. You will be in a strange unfamiliar location and not be allowed to be yourself, and to top that off you will have no one to talk to that you already know. How long do you think you can last? We both know that eventually you will buy diapers and that you boyfriend will eventually find out and that will damage you far more then this post. I say this only with the greatest respect to your feelings but the truth is a horrible thing to know sometimes. If you wish to continue down this path that is your prerogative but I should at least inform you that your going to suffer far worse then whatever feelings you may have from reading this post. Can I respectively request permission that you at least reconsider doing this to yourself?

  6. #6

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    I dunno, accepted, I think you're putting too much emphasis on the importance of diapers. A relationship doesn't have to focus around the diapers, and different couples can have different agreements about when/where the diapers are okay. I agree with you, dogboy, and oranges that the fact that the boyfriend doesn't want to see or be exposed to the diapers in any way is a troubling sign for the long term. But that doesn't mean that SonicZelda has to break off the relationship here and now or that he and the boyfriend can't, in the long-term, find a way to have a relationship and let SonicZelda indulge his diaper interest.

    So, let's look at the immediate problem. We still haven't been told how long the stay would be at the parents' house. Are we talking a couple weeks? A month? A year? Unknown and indefinite until some kind of life changes happen? I went years just fantasizing about diapers, and I've gone on vacations without them a few times. I think even a period of a few months is very endurable without the diapers, and I'd respect that the boyfriend's family may not be that accepting and could easily react badly with two young children around. That's not really a conversation one wants to have with one's lover's mother.

    You're not going to be dependent on the diapers SonicZelda, and you definitely can live without. However, and this is a big however, you are likely to be less happy than you would be with the diapers. And if it is for a long period of time with the parents, you could find yourself with some moments where you get a pretty strong craving and can't fulfill it, so you'll need some willpower. I don't think that's a long-term sustainable situation. Hopefully you won't be staying with them too long.

    As far as your boyfriend goes...why does he care if you're wearing one when he's around under your regular clothes? Is he bothered if he realizes that you're in a diaper? That's something to ask him about. Maybe for you, all you need is a little time to wear diapers when he's not around, but you need to think carefully if that is what it means for you to be happy long-term. Like I said above, I don't agree with accepted that you have to force your boyfriend to accept the diapers or break it off, but I do think you need to spend some time thinking about what YOU need to be happy long-term and whether your boyfriend can provide it. As long as your answer is yes, keep going and do the best you can.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by accepted View Post
    SonicZelda this is really hard to say but being a AB/DL is something that is never going to stop and never go away whether you want it to or not. If you move in with those parents and not be allowed to wear diapers your going to hurt yourself eventually. If your SO does not want you to wear diapers around him then he does not accept this facet of yourself. I know hearing this might very well make you angry but you could be hurt even worse if you just try to live without diapers as this is a part of who and what you are. The truth of the matter is if your SO is not comfortable with this aspect of yourself then he needs to get comfortable with it because that is part of accepting who and what you are. I know you don't want to hear this but if he can't accept this then your going to get hurt. Think about it your moving to a different location away from most of the people you know. You will be in a strange unfamiliar location and not be allowed to be yourself, and to top that off you will have no one to talk to that you already know. How long do you think you can last? We both know that eventually you will buy diapers and that you boyfriend will eventually find out and that will damage you far more then this post. I say this only with the greatest respect to your feelings but the truth is a horrible thing to know sometimes. If you wish to continue down this path that is your prerogative but I should at least inform you that your going to suffer far worse then whatever feelings you may have from reading this post. Can I respectively request permission that you at least reconsider doing this to yourself?
    I will be talking this over with him tomorrow...

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by SonicZelda
    To say that he doesn't accept me would be fallacious, he does accept me, and does so unconditionally... I will be able to wear them as long as he's not home.

    Not entirely the case is it?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    I dunno, accepted, I think you're putting too much emphasis on the importance of diapers. A relationship doesn't have to focus around the diapers, and different couples can have different agreements about when/where the diapers are okay. I agree with you, dogboy, and oranges that the fact that the boyfriend doesn't want to see or be exposed to the diapers in any way is a troubling sign for the long term. But that doesn't mean that SonicZelda has to break off the relationship here and now or that he and the boyfriend can't, in the long-term, find a way to have a relationship and let SonicZelda indulge his diaper interest.

    So, let's look at the immediate problem. We still haven't been told how long the stay would be at the parents' house. Are we talking a couple weeks? A month? A year? Unknown and indefinite until some kind of life changes happen? I went years just fantasizing about diapers, and I've gone on vacations without them a few times. I think even a period of a few months is very endurable without the diapers, and I'd respect that the boyfriend's family may not be that accepting and could easily react badly with two young children around. That's not really a conversation one wants to have with one's lover's mother.

    You're not going to be dependent on the diapers SonicZelda, and you definitely can live without. However, and this is a big however, you are likely to be less happy than you would be with the diapers. And if it is for a long period of time with the parents, you could find yourself with some moments where you get a pretty strong craving and can't fulfill it, so you'll need some willpower. I don't think that's a long-term sustainable situation. Hopefully you won't be staying with them too long.

    As far as your boyfriend goes...why does he care if you're wearing one when he's around under your regular clothes? Is he bothered if he realizes that you're in a diaper? That's something to ask him about. Maybe for you, all you need is a little time to wear diapers when he's not around, but you need to think carefully if that is what it means for you to be happy long-term. Like I said above, I don't agree with accepted that you have to force your boyfriend to accept the diapers or break it off, but I do think you need to spend some time thinking about what YOU need to be happy long-term and whether your boyfriend can provide it. As long as your answer is yes, keep going and do the best you can.

    I can understand that it would appear that I am putting too much emphasis on the importance of diapers but I am not. This is just the reality that SonicZelda is being faced with and it just happens to be the central focus of the issue.(SonicZelda being a AB/DL and the potential non-acceptance of it from a SO) The truth of the matter is SonicZelda is moving from Texas to a whole different country and this is not something that should be considered lightly. Like I said before SonicZelda's desire for diapers will eventually cause damage if the SO is not accepting of this. It's only a matter of time.

    As for breaking off the relationship I never did say that. It could very well be a necessary path but I actually doubt that is the case as they could seriously make it work. I never did say the SO should be forced to accept the diapers I said the SO should accept who and what SonicZelda is. If the boyfriend does not accept the diapers then he does not accept who and what SonicZelda is. The only way for SonicZelda to be happy in this relationship is to find out if the boyfriend is going to accept SonicZelda as a AB/DL. Chances are good that since they are moving to another country together this is going to be long term and this is going to get serious. The boyfriend should not be putting conditions on their relationship like that. This is potentially harmful to SonicZelda.

  10. #10

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    Here's the thing: my desire to wear diapers is at least SOMEWHAT sexual; on that note, I don't think it would be healthy to indulge in something that is potentially sexual for me 24/7.

    It makes him extremely uncomfortable, he likened it to him defecating on the bed, which would make ME extremely uncomfortable.

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