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Thread: Are all DLs fetishists too?

  1. #1

    Default Are all DLs fetishists too?

    It is a very well-known fact that a large majority of ABDLs find their diapers to be sexually stimulating. Some use their diapers all the time for this effect, some use it part time.

    Then there is the other camp, which use diapers as a security blanket. They find comfort in wearing them and/or using them, and life would become noticeably more uncomfortable if they were to give them up. I choose to identify with this camp, I wish that I could say that I find absolutely no sexual interest in wearing diapers, and allowing myself to wear a diaper at least once a week really calms my nerves down.

    But here is the problem: definitions. Here are two summarised ones, all summarised from the first page of their respective Google searches:

    Fetishist - A person who attains sexual arousal through the use of an object

    Diaper Lover - A person who likes and/or is interested in wearing diapers. Most definitions state that DLs are in fact Diaper Fetishists.

    There you have it - anyone who googles the term Diaper Lover, or ABDL, will assume that DLs are people who attain sexual arousal through the use of diapers.

    So what about the other camp, those of us who use diapers as a security blanket? We donít fit into the accepted definition of DLs do we? What does this mean? Is it that we in fact do find sexual arousal in wearing diapers, just that we are unable to recognise it?(If so, how do we recognise it?) Or is it that we need to re-write the accepted definition of DL? And if this isnít possible, what do we identify ourselves as?(Think Littles vs. ABs)

    But before all those higher level discussions, we need to establish first: are all DLs also Fetishists too?

  2. #2

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    hmm that's a tough one, lets see what we can break down. i was gonna say maybe "fetish fashion" because its something you wear but that implies it to be extreme or provocative to the observer, so i'm guessing no.

    "which use diapers as a security blanket. They find comfort in wearing them and/or using them, and life would become noticeably more uncomfortable if they were to give them up."

    By "Using them" i assume you're referring to the call of nature in that sense?

    hmm...if you think about it a sense of security is an emotional interest, it provides comfort, it protects you, to me that sounds like a form of love from an inanimate object. In a way on a psychological level you also have an attachment to to it so in that sense i would say you're classed as a diaper lover.

    you may be on to something. I'd say you'd still be in the DL category but re-written in the sense of a smaller sub-group.
    It's like trying to class Furry's in general when there are many different sub cultures of them.

    After more thinking I'm going to say Yes to the fetishism point and the security thing you describe only on the grounds that it is in fact a form of gratification.

    Gratification definition: pleasure, especially when gained from the satisfaction of a desire.

  3. #3

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    This recent thread addresses a similar question: https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...-for-all-of-us. The upshot is that a fetish need not be sexual, so in answer to your specific question, it follows that a fetishist need not be sexually motivated. Oddly, just my sense of the word "fetishist" is that it is more commonly expected to be sexual than "fetish". I think if it were me, I'd just use it as a teaching opportunity and describe myself as a non-sexual fetishist or non-sexual DL.

  4. #4

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    This is kind of a weird question and I don't really understand it all the way.
    We're getting more and more new terms and labels as time goes on and it's . . . interesting to say the least. Back in the day DL's liked to wear diapers for sexual pleasure, and AB's liked to wear diapers for every other reason. The ageplay, messing and wetting pretty much all belonged into the AB camp. DL's could wet and mess, but if you went goo goo ga ga you were an AB.
    I've always considered myself a DL. When I was a 3-4 year old kid already potty trained I already wanted my diapers back and I'd find myself humping them (not having any idea why I was, why I wanted to or anything like that). I was caught by my mother very quickly and for the day I was forced to wear a diaper, ride a stroller, eat the nastiest of babyfood she could pick, go to bed early, wet and mess the diaper. She even changed me in front of everyone to humiliate me. This turned me away from ANYTHING in the AB camp forever pretty much. I'm 26 now and to this day I get uncomfortable thinking about acting younger than I am for the most part. When I wear diapers I don't even use powder because it makes me feel like I did back in that day.
    I wear diapers when I want to get off, and then I usually take them off. The only time I wear diapers for a non sexual reason is to sleep because I do feel more relaxed in them and I sleep better when I am diapered, but even then it's still primarily sexual as I masturbate in them before falling asleep on a pretty much nightly basis. . .
    I guess it's not hard to wrap my head around the idea of a guy or girl who wears diapers just because they make him or her feel better, and not for sexual reasons though.

  5. #5

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    Not all DLs are aroused by their diapers. But I wonder if it's possible they may not be aware they are. I certainly wasn't until I was informed. I thought I only got aroused by looking them up online on store sites.

  6. #6

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    I'd say yes that most DL's are fetishists, despite whatever negative connotations that might bring up in one's mind. If there are negative connotations, get rid of them because they are unnecessary. I imagine that there are some people for whom it is a paraphilia, which is a non-sexual fetish. AB is, from my understanding, considered the paraphilic, therefore nonsexual, side of diapers.

  7. #7
    Tremer

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    i believe that it is not as much of a fetish but more a security thing (for me at least). excuse the sexual content but a fetish to me is something that gets you off example, i like to lightly spank while having sex i find it can help stimulate the situation but i also like getting a otk :$$$ long story short i need to show myself physical pain in order for me to "feel" pain if you know what i mean, but coming back to the security thing sometimes i cant even "jerk my bird" without the help of a diaper at times, diapers have always been a source of security for me i sometimes even wear them to help calm my anxiety because i feel as though the diapers are protecting me. which in reality they actually are but its more of a mental thing for me. but at the same time the diaper feels so frigin good it just adds to the whole stimulation factor, so i guess if you would want to really put a name to it i guess you could consider it a fetish but your really just trying to put a name to something. alot of the sexual part has to do with the feeling of diaper its self (stimulation) but i dont know about your past or anything but i would say just ask yourself this question if you are unsure if it is a sexual desire or not. Do i need a diaper to satisfy my sexual desires? or do i need a diaper to get to the point of wanting to act on my sexual desires? (security). sometimes i need a little help from a diaper to act on my sexual desires. i dont see anything wrong with it. society is fcked up. (there are some pretty gnarly "fetish's" out there)
    hope that helped clear it up at least a little bit for anyone that uses them as a "security blanket"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fingon View Post
    I'd say yes that most DL's are fetishists, despite whatever negative connotations that might bring up in one's mind. If there are negative connotations, get rid of them because they are unnecessary. I imagine that there are some people for whom it is a paraphilia, which is a non-sexual fetish. AB is, from my understanding, considered the paraphilic, therefore nonsexual, side of diapers.
    lets be honest here, how many guys have not gotten a "erection" from putting on a diaper do to excitement...... how many girls can hide the fact that it is somewhat a sexual desire......

  8. #8

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    Depends on one's definition of fetish.
    Some say its sexual, others say it can be some for some but not all.

    I see a fetish as something someone is really into, and/or likes a lot.

    Its never been a sexual thing for me(maybe cause I am mostly asexual I dunno)
    tho always been a comfort thing for me.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by sjm1225 View Post
    By "Using them" i assume you're referring to the call of nature in that sense?

    hmm...if you think about it a sense of security is an emotional interest, it provides comfort, it protects you, to me that sounds like a form of love from an inanimate object. In a way on a psychological level you also have an attachment to to it so in that sense i would say you're classed as a DL.
    Well most people to whom their diapers are a security blanket do actually pee/poop in them, though I guess there are those who just wear them?

    This part about having a psycological attachment. My concern is, is it sexual in any way?



    Quote Originally Posted by StargazerBleu View Post
    Depends on one's definition of fetish.
    Some say its sexual, others say it can be some for some but not all.

    I see a fetish as something someone is really into, and/or likes a lot.

    Its never been a sexual thing for me(maybe cause I am mostly asexual I dunno)
    tho always been a comfort thing for me.
    I understand that definitions differ from person to person. But the thing is that every major online source defines it sexually. People outside our community, as well as brand new ABDLs may get misled greatly. Especially the incontinent folk. It isn't a problem in liberal societies, but in conservative ones, it is.

  10. #10

    Default

    This is a great question and you have got my attention. I would like to take it to a broader level, however, as this will help get my point across on the matter.

    As already discussed, you have to break down the definitions, and many people would first think about sexuality when the word fetish is mentioned. But it can also take on other meanings, for instance, you could say the symbol of the cross, used in Christianity, is a fetish. An object takes on a symbolic meaning when it would otherwise just be a man made item. You may consider a favourite piece of clothing as a fetish because it means more to you than just an item you use to cover your naked self. It takes on a symbolic meaning, a fan t-shirt that speaks volumes about your personality or a piece of sports memorabilia that takes on a meaning of a memory.

    This identity issue is not exclusive to ABDL community either, I am very much involved on the BDSM scene and the same problems arise day in, day out around sexuality and fetishes. Something that holds a symbol for you is not defined by what others think of it. Ones mans rubbish, is another mans treasure. What I mean by this has already been explained above, you define what your own symbol are that make up your personality. So wearing a diaper for pleasure or for sexual gratification makes no odds. You enjoy your fetish! Do not worry what Wikipedia says it is or is not. People feel the need to label things constantly, hell if I was to that that for my pleasures it would be something along the lines of a switching, dom, submissive, that has kinks and fetishes all over the shop, with a side helping of cross-dressing for good measure!

    Getting back to the topic at hand, just because an internet search brings up sexual connotations does not make it true and most people take the internet with a pinch of salt at the best of times. Wear you badge proudly and make of life what you want it to be.

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