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Thread: How Women Stereotype Men

  1. #1

    Default How Women Stereotype Men

    SOME Feminists I encounter have this infuriating tendency to criticize any male who laments being single and being able to get a date as some kind of sexist who thinks all women should be flocking toward him.

    The truth is, and I can put it no more simply than this, men are, like women, emotional creatures. We want to love and be loved. We want all the same things women want out of a relationship. People have made careers indoctrinating us that men and women are fundamentally different, so some women, it seems, have a hard time accepting that mens' emotions are genuine and stereotype us all as sexists.

    Well that happened to my yesterday and it's the last time I'm going to let anyone get away with that overused, BS argument. If you ask these women, it's like all men are guilty until proven innocent. We have emotions too are and emotions also matter.

  2. #2

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    Bartolome, I have been on this site for a very short time and lately, I have been super busy and haven't been on very much but I seem to always see your posts and they are always pessimistic. You seem to always think someone else has it out for you from the people on fetlife to feminists. I obviously do not know you so I can only base my opinion off of what I have read but you seem to approach people and get a negative reaction fairly often. I am just going to give you a couple tips.

    First, don't make more than half of your post accusatory posts. You seem to always say that people are assholes, they criticize you, or they don't accept you. You are projecting a ton of negativity and when you are posting online, people only know you by what you post, so you come off super negative and acting like the world hates you.

    Second, NEVER generalize a group of people. When you say fetlife is full of assholes or even "SOME Feminists" criticize males, you are targeting groups of people. When you do that, anyone in that group that you may have had a chance with you just blew it. You automatically have those people you targeted against you because of what you said. I'm sure some feminists are that way but even if 99.99999% are, that 1 feminist that could have been a friend is now against you because of what you said. AND, those people who are like me, and have seen all your posts see that you have a tenancy to dislike large groups of people and will steer clear of you.

    Third, I'm not trying to be a hippie but a positive outlook and love are two things that make life great. If you go through life saying, he did this and she said that! You will have less friends, less fun, and will always focus on the negative. If you flip view points and focus on the good things in life, life is great. And generally, when you are positive, good things happen to you because being positive attracts friends and also gives you that positive outlook to see what is great in life.

    I hope you don't take this as me being an asshole or critical but honestly trying to help. I agree some women are sexist, and I'm sure some people on fetlife are assholes but some guys are sexist, some people on here are assholes. There is always something wrong with someone if you look for it but a lot of times the good out weighs the bad but you have to see it. I hope this helps and just because you have a bad experience with something, don't give up on it.

  3. #3
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    SOME Feminists I encounter have this infuriating tendency to criticize any male who laments being single and being able to get a date as some kind of sexist who thinks all women should be flocking toward him.
    lol, try not to read too much into these women, i've had my run in with a few extreme feminists... they're annoying bitches who try to justify their bitchy attitude by making extreme and JUST as sexist remarks.. I mean I'm a feminist too, but these women are just way too extreme.... they like to generalize men and try to say its not just as sexist as men generalizing them. We all hate them, you're not alone lol. Both Trans women and cis-women who have the most basic sense of logic and common sense, all hate these extremist feminists who concentrate so much on petty bullshit.



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    The truth is, and I can put it no more simply than this, men are, like women, emotional creatures. We want to love and be loved. We want all the same things women want out of a relationship. People have made careers indoctrinating us that men and women are fundamentally different, so some women, it seems, have a hard time accepting that mens' emotions are genuine and stereotype us all as sexists.
    To be fair, while you might believe that this is true... not all men are emotional creatures as women are.... having lived on both sides of the fence with both mentalities and hormones changing my perception on life... women are highly more emotionally driven than men are, by that same notion they are also more in control of their emotional responses, while men have a harder time controlling their emotions (its just science). Not all men want to love and be loved, and to be honest ~ a lot of men think with their dicks... not saying that ALL men think with their dicks, but a large portion of men do... they don't understand emotional connections the way women do, because women and men simply think differently, its a chemical thing... trust me lol I know. I know you like to think we are all the same, but having been on male and female hormones... i can tell you, we are not ~ men and women mentally process ALL things on a different level... and sure; its possible that some men might have a higher understanding of female thought patterns and vice versa... but the majority of the construct differs greatly. While I agree with you that Men are treated unfairly and all seen as macho sexists who want nothing but sex... I have to disagree that men and women both think the same... men and women ARE fundamentally different and its why there is such a struggle between the sexes... men don't understand women and women don't understand men... and they constantly argue because of the way they perceive things... I can tell you whole heartedly that my mental perception of a LOT of things has changed since starting estrogen... while my core beliefs remain the same, my though process and emotional/logical responses have changed DRASTICALLY. Its all just a matter of trying to find common ground.



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    Well that happened to me yesterday and it's the last time I'm going to let anyone get away with that overused, BS argument. If you ask these women, it's like all men are guilty until proven innocent. We have emotions too are and emotions also matter.
    Once again, its unfortunate that Men are seen this way by a lot of women.. but please understand that feminist extremists are just angry bitches who have been emotionally and sexually deprived for so long that they think anything without a vagina is a demonic creature from a different dimension that needs exorcising. Hell, some feminists even hate on OTHER women just for wanting something different than what they want... I remember one time a feminist was giving my SO shit because she wanted to be a house wife or be a stay at home mom.... she felt like that was "defeatist and a result of media conditioning" when all it really was is just my SO's desire to be a mother for her children.. trust me, extremist feminists are as much an uneducated pack of petty jackals as KKK bigots are. Just ignore them. Dont even do them the favor of arguing with them because arguing with an extremist is like arguing with an idiot who thinks he knows everything... you can never win.

  4. #4

    Default

    ^ I haven't given up, I just keep getting burned. Yeah I know you don't believe that's what's happened, but it's like there's nothing I can say that someone doesn't twist into something completely alien.

    ^^Thank you for you insight and sensitivity. I have a hard time distinguishing the vocal minority from the majority.
    I understand men and women don't think exactly the same, I don't recall ever saying that, I was complaining about these memes spread by extremist feminists. A lot of things I said were taken out of context in a particular thread and some things I never said were just made up completely.

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    ^ I haven't given up, I just keep getting burned. Yeah I know you don't believe that's what's happened, but it's like there's nothing I can say that someone doesn't twist into something completely alien.

    ^^Thank you for you insight and sensitivity. I have a hard time distinguishing the vocal minority from the majority.
    I understand men and women don't think exactly the same, I don't recall ever saying that, I was complaining about these memes spread by extremist feminists. A lot of things I said were taken out of context in a particular thread and some things I never said were just made up completely.
    What was said on the thread, specificaly?

  6. #6

    Default

    I said that I wanted to be happy and that I thought I'd make a good husband and father. Then I got attacked by rabid feminists and had words put in my mouth like "perfect" when I never said anything close to thinking I'd make a perfect ANYTHING. I tried to defend myself against these unfair and unfounded accusations, and the aforementioned rabid feminists just wouldn't give up and one of them started talking about me in the third person like I was not even there and bringing up posts from months ago and in general just trying to bury me in trash. I felt persecuted as a sensitive male who doesn't want to be placed in the "macho asshole" camp. I resented what they were saying about me and I resented their unwillingness to consider that just maybe they had misjudged me.

    - - - Updated - - -

    The group owner I contacted called them "trolls" and "nobodies." He promised to undo the ban the mod had made last night. I complained that the mod was taking sides and he seemed pretty receptive and sympathetic to what I'd gone through.

  7. #7

    Default

    I see some of that here at college and out and about. Like if I'm with friends at the mall and scrape enough bits of courage to talk to a girl, and she'll be like "what do you want? Go away you perv", before even getting to say hi. Girls out here tend to be so suspicious and think guys only talk to them to attempt courtship. I don't know if that's the same thing, but it seemed like the same sort of aggression misdirected. Another type of thing I see is if someone says something pro-life, they'll get verbally beaten up and ostracized by them. But I guess it depends on where/what you say or do.

    And I agree about that "macho asshole camp" bit, I'm actually quite sensitive and put emotional satisfaction way above physical, and would never have wrong intentions, and yet grouped into the same crowd based on anatomy :p

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    SOME Feminists I encounter have this infuriating tendency to criticize any male who laments being single and being able to get a date as some kind of sexist who thinks all women should be flocking toward him.

    The truth is, and I can put it no more simply than this, men are, like women, emotional creatures. We want to love and be loved. We want all the same things women want out of a relationship. People have made careers indoctrinating us that men and women are fundamentally different, so some women, it seems, have a hard time accepting that mens' emotions are genuine and stereotype us all as sexists.

    Well that happened to my yesterday and it's the last time I'm going to let anyone get away with that overused, BS argument. If you ask these women, it's like all men are guilty until proven innocent. We have emotions too are and emotions also matter.
    Some Man believe in utterly stupid stereotypes about women.
    some X believe in the weirdest stereotypes about Y.

    It has nothing to do with being a man, with being a women, a child, black or white, christian or muslim or atheist or green and 10 feet tall like the hulk.
    it's just human.

    Bartolome, really - look in the mirror while saying what you have written just before, you blame others for believing in stereotypes whilst you have a general stereotypical problem with women - especially "SOME Feminists".

    I'm not judging you here - I can understand your grieve after having read a couple of your posts that all focus on the basically same issue: your "problem" to find someone to love and be loved who accepts you for who you are, doesn't judge you, etc...

    The problem is that your perception and interpretation of women is quite frankly well beyond my own comprehension.

    Women are not evil creatures... No - that is wrong, they can be just as evil, nasty, stupid and bone headed as any man can be... it is not gender specific.

    Also of course all human beings are emotional creatures - in that you are not wrong... but people indeed WANT DIFFERENT things and you should not try to generalize what anyone wants and then try to perceive others through this "filter".

    At different points in my life I have needed / wanted very different things than I do now....

    Dating services exist for women and men alike...
    And honestly from all the women I know I do not have met a single one who does believe that man have only fake emotions.

    But often people read into us what we either voluntarily or involuntarily project to the outside and often this projection is misinterpreted.
    For example if you are overly insecure and try to camouflage it, it can be often misunderstood for something else.
    And at the same time we tend to interpret the person we encounter through very tainted glasses.
    this creates misunderstandings - and makes communication difficult.


    Also trust me on this: dating is rarely easy...
    Some people think that only because you've got a "perfect" physique it's easy to get a relationship... its a damn stereotype...
    Whilst probably easier to get a quick one night stand with - meaningless on a deep level - not fulfilling in terms of a relationship it is just as difficult to find a real relationship.
    money? same thing...
    quite simply put - all those superficial things will get you superficial things in return but a real bonding experience, finding someone you cherish, cherishes you and you are happy to grow old together with, is as difficult for me as it is for the next joe and jane.
    I'm not simply a believer in "luck" and I don't believe in destiny or fate... But I believe that anyone amongst us creates their own "luck" to say so.
    Often its silly things that hinder us from finding a special someone... and I find that is you are able to love yourself, be openminded about the world and don't judge books just by their cover figuratively speaking the world can really open up a lot of opportunities.

    But the one thing anyone needs to accept is that whilst looking for a partner, that you will run into people who say no, or are uncertain about what they want, who initially seem cool and turn sour, it's just the way it is.
    Don't let stuff like that pull you down, discourage you - be yourself, grow as a human being and you're 28... you've got a lot of life ahead of you so take it easy.

  9. #9

    Default

    EP01, read loud and clear, though I protest that I have a stereotypical problem with women; I deny that completely. I'm just sick of certain people who as others in this thread have pointed out are very extreme in their views putting words in my mouth and twisting everything I say into something alien.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    ...Then I got attacked by rabid feminists and had words put in my mouth like "perfect" when I never said anything close to thinking I'd make a perfect ANYTHING. I tried to defend myself against these unfair and unfounded accusations...
    And then we log onto adisc and write a rant about it, while naming the thread "how women stereotype smth". That's not really sensitive either, isn't it?

    Just sayin', it doesn't matter anyway.

    It's a minority you encountered. The question is why and how. But more importantly the big question is: Just WHY did you listen to this? And furthermore why did you even start to defend yourself against those accusations. Okay, perhaps you tried to convince them otherwise, but if they make any claim out of (kinda) nowhere, why did you bother to do so?

    I don't mean to imply that there may have been a truth about it, you can ask that yourself. We don't know what you said and what started it in general. Perhaps you encountered a... strange women, perhaps it's been your fault, or I guess maybe it's been a misunderstanding or an unfortunate choice of words.

    Still, if that person just wanted to argue, it doesn't matter. You just shouldn't have listened at all. You don't need to, if it's absolutely nonsense. Either way if it's a date, someone you started talking to, or any random stranger. If they try to make you to something, which you're simply not, why start defending yourself? Go away, let them manage their random anger by themselves and don't be the exhaust valve for this.

    In this case I would've simply walked away while holding my head high. Furthermore I would've said something to think about, but nothing mean and I certainly wouldn't have started arguing. Just like... I hope you keep this attitude hidden if you're with some friends of yours.

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