Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: Books about ABDLs seeking relationships

  1. #1

    Default Books about ABDLs seeking relationships

    Are there any books aIMED at helping ABDLs get into healthy relationships where the ABDL aspect is recognized but doesn't dominate the relationship? I am not talking about finding a "mommy." I have read several dating books by women and they totally ignore sexual fetishes. Their sections on rejection are also WAY TOO SHORT for me to get anything out of them.

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't know of any, unfortunately.
    I would also like to meet a person of the opposite sex to share this DL-thing with, provided that the diaper-play doesn't dominate the relationship.
    Notice that I said 'diaper play.' I don't really want an actual AB-type experience, but prefer conversation, mutual affection and physical touch, etc. as well.
    There's just so much more to a relationship of the adult variety, and I actually kinda like being an adult.
    Every once in a while would be great, but it's not something to base a relationship on. My DL-desires wax and wane in a very unpredictable fashion. The time has to be right.

    And, yes, the fetish books I've seen touch very lightly on AB/DL, preferring to dwell on the more physical aspects of BD/SM.

    As far as self-help books on dating and relationships go, there's not too much (if any) mention of fetish-related subjects.
    Rejection and failed relationships and causes of the failure(s) are not adequately covered for me, either.

    Let's hope, Bartolome, that a book will come-along that covers these subjects, but I'm not gonna hold my​ breath.

    Insert IMHO here.
    Last edited by bashfuldlguy; 23-Jun-2014 at 18:23. Reason: Don't wanna speak for others.....

  3. #3

    Default

    Have you tried vanilla dating websites?

    I once put the following as part of my profile on POF and got a good number of replies inc one from someone very special.
    Partners who are into this thing are out there

    As I'm looking for a long term partner I think it's only fair that I also explain something else so that no one wastes their time.

    I am an occasional AB/DL Paraphilic infantilism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    This DOES NOT have anything to do with children!!!!!!!

    I sometimes enjoy, in the privacy of my home, dressing in nappies and wetting them, I have been able to do this for years without affecting the other areas of my working and social life, I have a very good job and great relationships with all my children, and the AB/DL fetish is only a very very small (But very important) part of my life. As I said earlier it's occasional and I don't need changing every few hours of everyday! For the major part of my life I'm all man, very physical, sharing chores around the home, fiercely protective and enjoy providing for my loved ones.

    Please only send me a message if you are the kind of person who would/could accept this unusual behaviour. (Cos believe me I have tried to get rid of it over the years and it keeps coming back lol)
    If you still harbour maternal instincts or have previous experience in dealing with AB/DLs (there's more about than you expect judging by the online forums/message boards) you'll know that the bond between 'Mommy and baby' can be a wonderful close experience and I hope only add to a loving long term relationship.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Forced View Post
    Have you tried vanilla dating websites?

    I once put the following as part of my profile on POF and got a good number of replies inc one from someone very special.
    Partners who are into this thing are out there

    As I'm looking for a long term partner I think it's only fair that I also explain something else so that no one wastes their time.

    I am an occasional AB/DL Paraphilic infantilism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    This DOES NOT have anything to do with children!!!!!!!

    I sometimes enjoy, in the privacy of my home, dressing in nappies and wetting them, I have been able to do this for years without affecting the other areas of my working and social life, I have a very good job and great relationships with all my children, and the AB/DL fetish is only a very very small (But very important) part of my life. As I said earlier it's occasional and I don't need changing every few hours of everyday! For the major part of my life I'm all man, very physical, sharing chores around the home, fiercely protective and enjoy providing for my loved ones.

    Please only send me a message if you are the kind of person who would/could accept this unusual behaviour. (Cos believe me I have tried to get rid of it over the years and it keeps coming back lol)
    If you still harbour maternal instincts or have previous experience in dealing with AB/DLs (there's more about than you expect judging by the online forums/message boards) you'll know that the bond between 'Mommy and baby' can be a wonderful close experience and I hope only add to a loving long term relationship.
    I tried that and then did away with it on someone else's advice. It's a tough call. I have a profile on okcupid but I don't want to make ABDL the first thing someone learns about me or they might come to the wrong conclusions.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I might try it again but I have to think about it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I just did what you suggested. We'll see if it works or if I stop receiving messages altogether.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    Are there any books aIMED at helping ABDLs get into healthy relationships where the ABDL aspect is recognized but doesn't dominate the relationship? I am not talking about finding a "mommy." I have read several dating books by women and they totally ignore sexual fetishes. Their sections on rejection are also WAY TOO SHORT for me to get anything out of them.
    Of course such books "ignore" sexual fetishes - why indeed would they consider them.
    Pretty simple: it is usually not the one thing that will be on the front when seeking a relationship / dating.

    It's like with private / very personal stuff - it takes TRUST to share these things and trust is something that needs time to build / solidify within a relationship and is not usually strong enough during the dating-phase of a relationship.
    There are as always exceptions to everything...

    Also if as you say your abdl side is not what you'd like to define the relationship by and you're not looking for a "mommy" - then I see no point in actively including the ABDL or any other fetish aspect in the plain dating part.

    Pretty much what you should be "on the lookout" for is a generally open minded person. Chances are if she is overly conservative and close-minded that she will have a harder time understanding and accommodating your ABDL side.


    Personally I always think that once anyone starts to actively "cherry pick" or put individual aspects about their own personality as a prime defining factor out there they rapidly decrease any chance of actually meeting someone.


    As an example: Incontinence ... it's not something overly "attractive" and it's a private matter - it is something I would preferably only open up about in a circle of trust.
    There are a lot of small "side effects" coming with the IC issues that actually make it even more complicated to find a relationship.
    And like your ABDL side, it is there to "stay" - it's not going away (or quite unlikely) - so I can not just completely ignore it. That means that my potential partner would need to be accepting about this.
    And I remember that back when I made a big deal out of the entire issue to myself, it was indeed quite difficult to find anyone outside of the One-Night-Stand game....
    But once I figured out that it was just an aspect, a tiny aspect of my entire personality it actually stopped affecting the way I looked at stuff around me and I guess it made me more open minded with the whole relationship thing.
    I dated... and 12+ years ago got together with my SO...
    But the thing is this, while for obvious reasons I did not hide the IC part for long (it would have been quite impossible to do) or the fact that I wear diapers at night / pads during the day...
    I spent a lot of time explaining and showing that it has only a minimal impact on my regular, active lifestyle.. .I guess she quickly realized that I am not defined by the IC.
    Then when there started to be a lot more trust and intimacy we both started to slowly open up about certain other aspects - kinks, stuff we like / would try / etc...
    But that took more time than the plain vanilla thing.

  6. #6

    Default

    There exists a book, seen from time to time on amazon, called "There's A Baby In My Bed"

    I haven't read it yet, let alone bought it, but it does cover most of the general stuff about us. However, I think it is meant for AB's already in a relationship to give to their SO's. like a welcoming brochure lol "so you've just found out your partner is a baby..."

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    no such book exists ~ the "theres a baby in my bed" book talks about being in a relationship with an ABDL, not finding one. You wont find a dating book for ABDLS or any fetish really because its not usually something you build a relationship on... being abld isnt a curse or a plus, it just is what it is and it can be a good thing or a bad thing or a neutral thing :P its like that with all fetishes, kinks, quirks, lifestyles... you discuss them when you get close to the person and thats how you test the mettle of a relationship and its future endeavors

  8. #8

    Default

    I have the book "Age Play" intended for a potential partner... IF A POTENTIAL PARTNER EVER COMES ALONG WHO DOESN'T REJECT ME!!!!! I thought it would be smart to get a short, cheap book that I could give to someone to help them understand what's difficult for even me to explain.

    I am so afraid of rejection that the ABDL is secondary... most women I approach (about 1 per year) reject me without even knowing that about me.

    I don't even know how to tell if a woman is interested or is just being friendly, and no one can explain it to me in terms that makes sense.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    I am so afraid of rejection that the ABDL is secondary... most women I approach (about 1 per year) reject me without even knowing that about me.
    Story of my life! But I will say this;
    When I was playing adding games on Facebook, I met girls all over the map, and when I mentioned it when talking about kinks, they were either like "aww so cute I like it" or they didn't care for it and the friendship ended.
    My point is, social networking is a good option because its easier, and emotionally safer. By meeting online first, there's a certain mutual expendibility if you and whomever you meet for get along. However, if it does work then it can continue into something in real life. If things go wrong, with a couple of keystrokes you're gone, and if it works then great. So my advice would be to start online and be fully forthcoming when it feels right, like working kinks into a conversation, and then see where it goes.

    Though I do share your pain of solitude
    #foreveralone

  10. #10
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    I have the book "Age Play" intended for a potential partner... IF A POTENTIAL PARTNER EVER COMES ALONG WHO DOESN'T REJECT ME!!!!! I thought it would be smart to get a short, cheap book that I could give to someone to help them understand what's difficult for even me to explain.

    I am so afraid of rejection that the ABDL is secondary... most women I approach (about 1 per year) reject me without even knowing that about me.

    I don't even know how to tell if a woman is interested or is just being friendly, and no one can explain it to me in terms that makes sense.
    that is gonna keep happen :P its part of life ~ and those people arent worth wasting your time over because they don't care. The person who shows interest in getting to know you are the ones that are worth pursuing, the other ones are better left ignored because the moment they end their interaction with you, they will have forgotten about you and in that same right you should also not spend energy lingering on why or what or how you got rejected, because they don't even spend time wondering why they rejected you ~ you can equally get the same response from a male friend :P people are mean, best to just keep looking for the nice ones.

Similar Threads

  1. Meeting Other ABDLs
    By ShyLittleBoy in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 19-Apr-2014, 16:12
  2. How many people out of 100 are ABDLS
    By 48473Tim46 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 01-Jun-2012, 04:55
  3. Relationships with non-ABDLs
    By ModifiedToddler in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 22-Mar-2012, 23:53
  4. Greetings to abdls
    By shiniaobu in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 28-May-2011, 19:50
  5. ABDLs in College
    By paciboy in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 01-Feb-2010, 22:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.