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Thread: Well, finally got caught.

  1. #1

    Default Well, finally got caught.

    My "flawless plan" resulted in being full of holes to begin with, my mom finally found an used diaper in the trash can (I won't explain all that, I'm still amazed how coincidences work) and well, the only person that could have worn it would have to be me, they have suspected all this time and today they just found it. I would just dig my grave even further if I blamed anyone else except myself so I confessed my fetish to my mother (my father knows as well but he's not here yet), I started to explain what is it, how it starts (most likely) and what possible methods exists to control it. My mother then started to...just, to accept it =/, as in, she was not against me wearing diapers (she wasn't completely agreeing with it tho) and it was quite a shock for her but then we had a nice and interesting conversation, in which she revealed a few secrets about my father and a few other relatives.

    I agreed that I would at least visit someone that I could talk with (and hopefully, convince them that this is not an illness whatsoever), but my mother is Ok with me wearing as long as I don't do anything crazy and not wearing just the diaper. It was quite a frenesi, yes, but I'm relieved that my mom accepted this somehow, I just hope she doesn't tell anyone else, I even told her not to tell my uncle (her favorite gossip bank). Now the hard part is my father, he's not like my mother, he's just cold (not a bad person but certainly not as open as my mother) I'm forced to try now anyways, since my mother told him (before we talked, that is).

    Any tips? And...should I reeeaaally tell my GF? She IS open as she really know about fetishes and discuss about them with me, we have been going out for almost a whole year now so I think that secrets aren't that valid anymore, besides, she once saw some pics in my computer and I had to lie and told her that it was probably just a virus messing with my computer, she bought it whole, but next time it won't be as easy.

  2. #2

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    If you think she'll accept it and you're ready to tell her, you should tell your girlfriend.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Motorbreath View Post
    And...should I reeeaaally tell my GF? She IS open as she really know about fetishes and discuss about them with me, we have been going out for almost a whole year now so I think that secrets aren't that valid anymore, besides, she once saw some pics in my computer and I had to lie and told her that it was probably just a virus messing with my computer, she bought it whole, but next time it won't be as easy.
    You should tell her if you feel like telling her; here's my take on the outcomes*:
    1. You don't tell her, she finds out, she's not fine with it, and she can't keep her mouth shut.
    2. You don't tell her, she finds out, she's not fine with it, and she keeps her mouth shut.
    3. You don't tell her, she finds out, she's fine with it, and she can't keep her mouth shut.
    4. You don't tell her, she finds out, she's fine with it, and she keeps her mouth shut.
    5. You don't tell her, she doesn't find out, and you have a secret in the relationship.
    6. You tell her, she's not fine with it, and she can't keep her mouth shut.
    7. You tell her, she's not fine with it, and she keeps her mouth shut.
    8. You tell her, she's fine with it, and she can't keep her mouth shut.
    9. You tell her, she's fine with it, and she keeps her mouth shut.

    I've bolded the worst- and best-case scenarios here (000 and 111).

    Knowing this, your decision really comes down to this:
    1. How much would you mind if this were spread all over?
    2. (Bigger than #1) How would your GF of one year react to finding out you've kept ANY secret from her this whole time?

    You're essentially gambling your relationship against your GF's integrity. If she doesn't have integrity, then you should dump her post-haste before she finds out anyway. If she does have integrity, then you should do the right thing and let her know.

    That's my take, but I don't date 17 year olds. They're likely spiteful little critters who love gossip. Given this ... you're likely left with "can I outlive the embarrassment of people knowing" as a proxy to anything substantive like integrity.

    So I'd tell her. But then, I choose people with high integrity and don't really care what the larger world thinks anyway... For me, sharing this would be the only way that I could be happy in a relationship, as it's an indirect measure of trust in the relationship. *shrug*

    Hopefully you have something to mull over, if nothing else! :p


    *I'm setting up a truth table for outcomes below. The actual import of "getting there" follows this table.

  4. #4

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    Motorbreath-

    If you're going to be seeing a counselor or therapist about this, perhaps it would be helpful to discuss whether or not to bring it up with your GF.

    I hope it all works out well with your family--sounds fine so far. Do keep us posted.

    Regarding romance and AB/DLs, in the end it does seem best to 'come out' when the opportunity arises, given your estimate of your girl friend. I might be wrong, but it seems like many of us take a fairly black and white perspective on 'coming out': If she's cool with it, then happy marriage, if she's not, then solitude and self loathing forevermore.

    That's generally how it works out in my mind, but I suppose it'd be more realistic to expect a somewhat more diverse distribution of possible outcomes should you decide to share this with her. Maybe she'll be supportive of this, maybe not; I think her initial reaction (and your response) won't have tyranny over your relationship, though it may change things. In the long term, I suppose it's probably healthy to integrate your hidden desires with the non-hidden. That said, I don't think I can see myself telling an SO about this. I can hardly type the words on forums, let alone say them out loud.

  5. #5

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    just tell her man all i say

  6. #6

  7. #7

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    I wouldn't tell her unless you plan on getting serious and want to marry her. If not, relations come and go, so why risk everyone knowing if this relationship will eventually end. You still have a lot on your plate because you have to deal with your dad. I would think taking one thing at a time would be all you should have to deal with emotionally.

    Your dad will probably not really want to discuss this, so he may grunt a few times and say whatever. That would be my idea of a good outcome. I'm a dad and so if it were one of my kids, I would have been very understanding, but obviously I'm a different kind of person. I have always had a good relationship with my kids, and we found opportunities to talk, but I'm thinking your situation is different. Good luck with dad, and keep it simple. Try to de-emphasize the whole thing and let it pass into the long dark night.

  8. #8

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    @h3g3l: Well, she'd told me some personal things about herself (not as private and personal as a fetish, but they are certainly important) and well, that shows that she really trust me, I think it would be fair -yet as you and mostly everyone implies, risky- that I shared this piece of information, of course, considering the scenarios. Being said all this, I hardly believe that she would say anything about this, because she would know that the relationship and myself would shatter if this leaks into peoples ears and even still I have something that I know about her to backfire (still, I'm not like that, I prefer to respect anyone's private life).

    But still, I'll follow your suggestions, and thanks for helping and posting =).

    @PostTenebrasLux: The fact that the therapist suggest that I should bring my GF is the only thing that worries me, she will have to know anyway, but if this went all the way to the therapist office, she may think this is some kind of illness, she's quite easy to break. And trust me, it's actually easier to tell something like that rather than typing it, at least that's how I felt it =).

    @Valerye: Got it...

    @dogboy: I really hope so, haven't seen him this whole day but tomorrow he'll be here. The conversation with my mother really gave me the courage to actually tell my father and I think that my GF could as well wait, maybe I just got overconfident with my mother accepting, but I'll try to make careful moves.

  9. #9

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    I'd be cautious.

    Deal with your pops....I think its kind of expected for your mum to accept it even though she may not like it. She's your Mum and mums are supposed to love you regardless...your father is supposed to love you regardless.....however....when a child, especially a son...does something or is involved in something that may contradict their personal masculinity and most importantly the father's masculinity....father's sometimes react inappropriately to defend their personal masculinity and honor as a man so that none of their co-workers or community members think less of him as a man.

    I hope it goes well, just be prepared for a less than desirable outcome.

    As for the girl-friend...if you're not ready to propose and marry her...I'd hold off on telling her that deep of a personal matter until you're confident she's the one you want to commit too. If the two of you aren't ready to commit to marriage...I would hold off on sharing her...

    but that's just what I would do...

    Best of luck to ya!

  10. #10

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    Motorbreath, you don't have to convince anyone it's not an illness. If the person you go to talk to thinks it is, find someone else.
    Talking with a professional is about helping you be comfortable any happy with who you are.
    As long as your activities do not harm others, a professional should not advocate trying to change you (sorry poor choice of words here)
    The goal should be one of understanding and help in determining how you got to be the person you are.

    You sound like you are fairly commited to your GF since you have been seeing her for over a year.

    So, I would take her out to a nice restaurant and maybe a movie (her choice).

    During the evening, mention that you really care for her and that you have something important to tell her about you, but you are very nervous about it, and you will wait till the two of you are alone in private. She will have some time to get ready for the info, even though she does't know what it is yet, it will be much less of a shock.

    It is quite possible she already has some suspicions that something is up.
    You are hiding a big secret, and she will pick that up from you.

    My wife told me that she knew I was hiding something from her, and she was thinking maybe I was having an affair, so liking diapers was way better than that.

    Take it slow, it can be a big shock to people with no knowledge of *B/DL.
    However, if she cannot deal with the diapers, it's better to find out earlier.

    Good luck, I hope it all works out well for you.

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