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Thread: Could uses a confidence boost.

  1. #1

    Default Could uses a confidence boost.

    With my move coming up in the next few months, I find myself thinking about what I want to do with my live. I'm a major gamer. Find myself wanting to make games, or even wanting to be reviewer, but I can't find myself doing anything like it. For some reason my mind blocks it out. Usually I can bring anything up in my head, but my dream future is completely unseeable. I know a pointless live isn't for me. I want a destiny, some kind of meaningful future. Wealth isn't out of the question, but I'm a realist. I know the world requires the lower class, but I won't allow it to be me. I deserve a better life then that after everything I've had to do suffer. I really wish the world wasn't so harsh, but that isn't the world we live in. I was thinking about going back to college after the move, but I don't know anymore.

    I'm sorry about the rant, but I've been stressing out a lot. So much so my body is slightly effected.

    Any e ncouragement would help.

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm sorry it's been such a stressful time for you. It sounds like you have lot of things to worry about. My suggestion would be to prioritize your goals and identify what you need to get done in the short term and the long term. It seems the upcoming move would require your immediate attention, so perhaps you could just focus on that aspect of your life and get yourself settled first. I know how hard your current living situation has been, and I think just getting out of that environment will be a positive step forward. You need to have the basics in life, such as a safe roof over your head before you can take on new challenges.

    I know the feeling of wanting something more out of life and it's difficult when you don't know exactly what it is that you're looking for. I was bored out of my mind working for a bureaucratic, government department. It took many years to screw up my courage and go back to school for a social work diploma at the age of twenty eight. It changed my life and I never had any regrets. My advice has always been to find something you love, something you can dedicate your life to, and make it meaningful. You may want to see an employment counsellor who can help you identify your strengths and abilities and give you some suggestions about employment opportunities, apprenticeship programs, and education requirements. Also, speak tp some of the gaming places where there may be opportunities. Perhaps you could get your foot in the door. I also did a lot of volunteer work which looks great on a resume and can often lead to employment opportunities. A local community centre can also provide resources in helping you reach your goals.

    Like I said, take your time and focus on the immediate goals. The rest will come in time.

    I would also say that your final statement is a bit of a concern when you say you're stressing out so much that your body is slightly affected. If that's the case, perhaps it would be advisable to see your doctor and get yourself checked out.

  3. #3

    Default

    Perhaps being a fellow 24-year-old, we can share in the same pain

    I'm in a bit of a limbo myself. I'm in the service and construction industries as well as working in lab for 50 or so hours a week. I've managed to pay off some credit card debt, but I'm also trying to get financing for a new car...which didn't work out so well because I need to make 6 more grand a year. It's frustrating. I have a bachelors degree and am currently searching around hoping to land a job and become published this summer. It starts wearing you down a bit about exactly where to go or what to find (more so when people tell you you need more education).

    It's hard not getting sucked into my current positions because I've known them for a while and I make way over minimum wage...at the same token it's not why I went 20k into debt for. I personally can take an odd job, become the best of it, and take pride in it. I suppose that's how I find purpose in things. However, I know being in the sciences would bring long term fulfillment for me.

    I'm going to say go back to college with a clear vision in mind or don't at all. Know your strengths and your passions. Pick something with a decent job market in mind if you do. Don't put yourself into debt over experimenting with fleeting ideas that seem good at the time.

    Being out in the world more here in the city doing odd jobs and meeting different people certainly has put things in perspective for me. It may help taking some time for yourself to ask what you really want out of life.

    But even me being 24, I don't know everything and wish I knew some things back when I was 18...nonetheless...

    Be systematic. Take it day by day. Have no regrets in your choices. I sure as hell don't even it never amounts to anything.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    With my move coming up in the next few months, I find myself thinking about what I want to do with my live. I'm a major gamer. Find myself wanting to make games, or even wanting to be reviewer, but I can't find myself doing anything like it. For some reason my mind blocks it out. Usually I can bring anything up in my head, but my dream future is completely unseeable. I know a pointless live isn't for me. I want a destiny, some kind of meaningful future. Wealth isn't out of the question, but I'm a realist. I know the world requires the lower class, but I won't allow it to be me. I deserve a better life then that after everything I've had to do suffer. I really wish the world wasn't so harsh, but that isn't the world we live in. I was thinking about going back to college after the move, but I don't know anymore.

    I'm sorry about the rant, but I've been stressing out a lot. So much so my body is slightly effected.

    Any e ncouragement would help.
    I'm not sure if this will feel like encouragement or a kick in the ass, so I apologize in advance.

    I'm concerned about that word you used, "deserve," and frankly, I feel you're starting from entirely the wrong place if you're approaching this from the angle that you deserve something. The idea that you deserve something suggests at least some degree of entitlement, but as far as the world's concerned, you, me, none of us deserve or are entitled to shit. I would encourage you to erase the notion that you deserve anything from your being.

    The world cares about what value you can add. Universities don't look at whether you deserve to be a student there. They look at what value you can add to the student body and the university's reputation. They look at whether you are of a sufficient caliber to add to class discussions, keep up with coursework, and avoid being a drag on the rest of the student body. They look at your activities to figure whether you're connected or motivated, what sort of background you'll bring to the student body, what sort of experiences and outlooks and perspectives you can contribute to the student body. The working world is even more focused on what value you can add. How can you fit into an organization, and what can you contribute to that organization? Do you offer a skillset that can help them do their business better and they currently do not have? Do you have a feel for what the organization does and that you can mesh well with the existing team? Those are the questions to keep in mind.

    On the flip side of that, recognize that you do have value and that our relationships are not one-way. Think about what value a university or a particular degree or certification could add to you and how it could contribute to your goals. Think about what sort of work environment you'll be in and whether you'll be paid fairly and treated fairly. Employers don't like to be considered in that light, and given that it's still a buyer's market for labor it's sometimes hard to turn down an offer. But, whatever relationship you start should be mutually beneficial. Ultimately, it's up to us as individuals or representatives of organizations to convince others that we add value, so keep that in mind as you venture onward. My management doesn't pay me because I'm nice. They pay me because I get things done that need doing. Conversely, I come in every day because I am treated with respect, I get paid, and I generally enjoy the work.

    Some of the advice you've already received is good advice. Get yourself and your situation stabilized. Get your move done. Then, figure out what you want to do and how you'll be able to add value with it. Think about what value a particular course of action will add to you and your goals. Conversely, think about what value, or lack thereof, there is in remaining in your current state.

    Believe me, I appreciate what you're going through. In some ways, it's better you're going through it now than after you've been at a company for eight years and get sick to your stomach at the thought of going there one more day. It's good that you want something better for yourself. I think now you need to sort out what that something is and start working toward it.

    I'm sorry if that was less encouraging than you'd like. Hopefully it was still of value, though.

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    Maybe its a result of just growing up too fast (I got married at 18, moved out at 22), but this seems to be a common thought process among our age groups, its that young burning ambition to be more than what you are. This is a normal and good part of growing up because it allows you to motivate yourself to actually BE that "more" i'm talking about. However; its a desire that usually wains and starts to become less of a necessity. I use to feel the exact same way, and now I feel like life is a little more intricate than that ~ when you say it out loud it sounds overwhelming but simple, but realistically speaking there is no direct path to self-importance. Life as we know it is large communities of people working in unison to reach a similar goal which translates to "living". There are big things and small things that lead to greatness but that don't necessarily have to be considered "great" in nature.

    Take for example the lighting technician for a concert ~ sure, they don't get much fame or reputation, they don't get media coverage, they don't get paid nearly as much as the artist.... but they get to meet SO many artists, hang out with them personally, TALK with them and get to know them, make connections in the industry just as any performer would, at the sacrifice of fame and glory ~ equally a career filled with greatness. There are many ways to be great.

    Unfortunately we also live in a world where we are rapidly forced to CHOOSE a calling even when we haven't found it yet, but you should keep in mind that being 24 is still pretty young... you are only at the quarter-mark of your life and still have (assuming you lead a decently healthy life) a good 75% of life to go ~ if there is anything that transitioning has taught me its this; a LOT can change in a month, and a month can sometimes feel like a year. Try not to stress but don't allow your de-stressing to lead to laziness or lack of ambition ~ try to go with the flow and walk alongside your hunger for a better future instead of attempting to "chase" it. And when you finally manage to "catch up" to it and walk along side it ~ start hustling because the truest thing in life is that the only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. It might seem overwhelming or impossible at times, but just work hard and prove yourself useful and valuable ~ because sadly enough... another cold hard truth about the world is that people are only interested in people who can bring something to the table.

    You're young; WE are young, we've got time <3 its what we do with our time that truly matters. I use to feel like in order to be happy I needed to be a successful performing artist or singer... but now I'm at the point in my life where I just want to LEARN more, about Film about Audio Production about Fashion ~ I want to associate myself in the different communities of the art scene and find the roller coaster that best fits my interests and ambitions... so i've gone from needing to be a successful performer... to wanting to be anything from a sound technician to a script-writer. Think of it this way ~ right now your desire to be more is a gauge; that gauge is filled with energy and ambition and drive, but it has no structure ~ take the time to relax your mind, think clearly and bring the gauge down to the point where you can have it at a working level, and then use that to push your life in the right direction if you feel you deserve more and you deserve to be better than you are, then show it by pushing yourself and taking chances and doing things that scare you. Everything in life is about experiences.

    Start worrying when you're 40 and still have nothing to show for >_< that's when you should start worrying... and i know that's only about 16 years from now... but like I said before ~ a LOT can happen in a month alone... imagine what you can accomplish in 1 year, or 16

  6. #6

    Default

    This is a complex topic, but the advice can be simple.

    1. Get your health back. You can't do anything without your health. That means finish the move and if you're still so stressed that it's messing you up, see a doctor. This is the most important thing.

    2. Make a list of the things that interest you and make a second list of things you think the world needs. Unfortunately, a lot of people are interested in games, but the world needs relatively few game designers and even fewer pro gamers. These are hard jobs to get. Conversely, the world needs plenty of accountants, but everybody seems to hate finance and math.

    If you're lucky and a bit thoughtful, you might just find an overlap between your two lists, in which case that's what you pursue. If not, you're going to have to adjust and pick something. Maybe come back here at that point for help narrowing it down.

    3. When you've picked something, you can sit down and plan out steps. Maybe that's going to school, or meeting new people, sending around resumes, whatever.

    4. Do the steps. (I personally suck at this one. >_<)

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