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Thread: Kinda an emergency, father needs pullups!

  1. #1

    Exclamation Kinda an emergency, father needs pullups!

    Hi All,

    Say, my dad needs pullups after Prostate cancer surgery. I've been trying to get him to accept diapers, but he insists on pullups. And....ordered a 12-pack of Depends. This is unacceptable.

    Anyway, I need to get him pullups, and am thinking of Unique Wellness. Thing is, I have no clue how to size for him. He uses XXL Depends for Men. I know from personal experience that UW sizes a bit large...so does anyone know with reasonable assurance (groan) if I should get him XXL or XL Unique Wellness? I need to order before the sale ends, so prompt replies are cherished. Thank you everyone. It's a stressful time.

  2. #2

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    I looked at depends website and they dont have an XXl they have an XL version that goes from 38" to 50" in real fit, or 44" to 64" in the adjustable protection style. I am not sure if this helps you any.... Do you know your fathers waist size? Thats a huge range of size and it would suck if you got too small.... also as far as I know the depends brand is the only one with the velcro adjustable band so.you really dont know what.size it is if he used that brand....


    Hope this helps and good luck best wishes!

  3. #3

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    Thanks Kawaiii. I guess he has a 49" waist. I got him the XL Unique Wellness, just a bag though. It's interesting. My knowledge of the ABDL products is actually paying off. My wife asked me if I felt better about my proclivities now that they were 'useful' outside my own enjoyment, and I had to admit that it is. I like to help, and to think of Dad in crappy Depends crap depresses me. I mean, if you need them, why not get the best?

  4. #4

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    Way to be supportive of your dad and use your diaper expertise to help him find the right protection.

  5. #5

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    If those don't work you you could try the Abena AbriFlex L3. They fit Fits 40 to 55" waist/hips.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by xtrabulk View Post
    Hi All,

    Say, my dad needs pullups after Prostate cancer surgery. I've been trying to get him to accept diapers, but he insists on pullups. And....ordered a 12-pack of Depends. This is unacceptable.

    Anyway, I need to get him pullups, and am thinking of Unique Wellness. Thing is, I have no clue how to size for him. He uses XXL Depends for Men. I know from personal experience that UW sizes a bit large...so does anyone know with reasonable assurance (groan) if I should get him XXL or XL Unique Wellness? I need to order before the sale ends, so prompt replies are cherished. Thank you everyone. It's a stressful time.
    First:
    Do the Depends NOT work for your dad? has he complained about anything?
    This is important in as much, as incontinence varies greatly... and prostate removal does not by necessity lead to a continuous leaking of large quantities...
    If your Father just "dribbles" thin pull-ups will do the job just fine.

    Personally I would though opt for a two-part system: Fixation Pant (mesh or cotton) and a Pad (tena Comfort plus... or whatever).
    Allows you to change the pad without having to step out of your trousers / shoes... allows for regular toilet visits.

    You're listed as a DL - your needs are most likely VERY different from the needs of your Father. Unless he loves diapers - he's going to struggle with the products at least at first.
    Also only because he's partially IC doesn't mean he has NO CONTROL. Thus regular toilet visits and emptying the bladder there is a GOOD thing - it helps to prevent flooding etc... and makes even thin products work well.
    Then there's stuff like watching what he drinks... staying away from soda pops, alcohol, too much tea / coffee (avoid at best), etc... Too sugary food as well.. stuff like that makes the body produce MORE urine QUICKER... (diuretic effect).
    Going to the toilet at regular schedules (I do this like every 2 hours when there's an option) and combining it with a healthy hydration (WATER... not half a gallon twice a day, but rather 2dl every hour or so) will enable him to maximize on whatever control he has left - and even if "None" (which I doubt) - he will with this strip down the requirements on the type of IC product he will need to manage the rest.

    Trust me, full diapers are usually not the best way to deal with a bit of an urinary IC problem during the day for an Active person... regular toilet visits are "problematic", the diapers are also more "obvious" (if not to the outside world, but to the wearer).

    I'm not saying his depends are the best choice - there are certainly better products... but recommending diapers and thick pull ups is probably not the way to go.

    Personally the pad & fixation pant system works amazingly well for me during the day time in most situations (only when I know I'll have to drive long stretches or can't get to toilets within a few hours I do indeed wear diapers during the day).

    Also what he may could consider: Condom Urinal (condom catheters, texas catheters) - these are self-adhesive skin friendly "condoms" that go over the penis and connect to a tube that drains into a leg bag.
    I use that quite often these days with a VERY high success & Comfort. I wear an under knee / calf "holster" for the bag under loose trousers - no way to tell.
    Doesn't interfere with movement...
    The good bags are profiled to shape around the leg and also have a drain valve... so when the bag needs to be emptied: put the foot on the toilet, raise the hem of the trousers and open the valve... no undressing required, quick, clean and easy... no disposable diaper to take off, change and throw away. no spares to carry...
    You can even flush the bag with water and re-use it a few times (good for longer traveling) - the condoms are small enough to pack a supply even for a long trip without problems.

    What I say is that you should not get him anything!
    First it should / needs to be HIS CHOICE as HE is going to WEAR the products.
    You can indeed talk to him, tell him about your concerns, internet research together, etc... recommend options.
    But if someone would come up to me and gift me a bag of pull ups and say "hey, this is what you need to use instead of whatever" - I'd be a tad pissed.

  7. #7

  8. #8

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    EPO1 nailed it. Unless there's total loss of control, pull-ups (or maybe something like tena stretch) will be better because they allow use of a toilet normally. And as long as the leakage is slow enough, pretty much any diaper will be capable of handling it.

    The only reason he'd really have to go with a "better" diaper would be to minimize the frequency of changes (note that people who aren't DL probably would prefer to change as soon as they notice the diaper is wet, so this may actually be a negative), or because a lower absorbancy is causing issues with leaks.

  9. #9

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    Xtrabulk,

    EP01 offers sage advice.

    Remember, your dad is probably very embarrassed about this and having to go through the process of adaption. This will involve going through the grief cycle. The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief | Psych Central

    Now, your offer of expertise and advice is well meaning, no doubt about that. It would be better if you helped him explore the options rather than offer your preferred solution.

    Think back to when you first started experimenting with diapers. How many brands did you try before finding one or two that you really liked? This is not far removed from that process except it has been forced on him (see the grief cycle).

    I'm sure that he is glad of your support but give him space and time to find what suits.

    DLE.

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