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Thread: Psychiatrist - running out of options.

  1. #1

    Default Psychiatrist - running out of options.

    I'm attempting to see a psychiatrist. I have sent emails and not getting any replies so far. I don't know what I even want from them. I'm starting to put things together or at least admit things to myself that I've denied my whole life. I have never felt male but why did it take this long for me to admit this part of me.

    I've worn girl clothes since five. I've been using tape to keep things flat so long I don't remember when I started. Add to that the whole ab/dl/lg thing, I'm really really feeling far from a normal person.

    I don't know what I can do with the shrink other than the confess to a stranger I don't think hormones will work for me, not sure I would want them. Maybe I can get man hormones to change me into a real guy so I don't feel the urge to put on panties and bras and maybe diapers too.

    Is it odd in the email to the shrink I mention gender issues but can't bring myself to talk about LG and diapers? I feel like a freak, why did I have to be like this?

    I tried to tell my wife about my AB side, (many years ago). That was soooo bad that I have never been able to talk to her again about anything.

    I think I am starting to repeat myself from other threads for that I'm sorry. Something about writing things out makes me feel some better. Wonder how I can lie and hide so long, but now it feels like I'm out of runway.

  2. #2

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    Hello

    Sadly all i can do for you is to tell you that there is no situation without solution so don't Dispair, after all you will be fine. things that you are talking about are't easy, and they take time. So take your time, i'am sure that you will find someone who provide help for you. I just cross my fingers. Don't give up !!!!

  3. #3

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    I think that if you want help, you should mention the things that are troubling you. Some psychiatrists are better informed in certain areas than others. I think it would be better to contact a psychiatrist or psychologist by phone, rather than e-mail. You would get an immediate response that way.

    It is nerve wracking on that first visit. My mom made me see a psychiatrist when I was in college. She had discovered my makeshift diapers and gay porn. I sat in the waiting room alone, reading and looking up to see who was looking at me. On the first visit, I had to discuss both liking diapers and guys. It wasn't easy, but that's what I was there for.

    I think you have to evaluate how unhappy you are and let that be the deciding factor.

  4. #4
    emberthefox

    Default

    First of all there is nothing wrong with you.
    Second of all everyone has problems. Any one who says they don't is a lier.
    What you need to do is get some paper and write out what is bothering you. You did good with your first post. Go into more detail what is bothering you. Think about each of them. No one is normal that is just a word boring people use to make them selfs feel better. You will find talking face to face will also work better than emails or phone calls. Everyonehere is here is supportive that I can assure you.

  5. #5

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    As others have said, there is nothing wrong with you, these desires are not harmful. Of course it's easy to say that, it's another thing altogether to convince yourself. It took me a long time, and it was a painful process at times, but even though I still have a ways to go, it was worth it, I feel so much more content. Suppressing these things never does anyone any good.

    A good psychiatrist may be helpful in sorting out your feelings on the matter. You should try not to feel too nervous about talking to them about anything you need trouble with, though, I'm pretty sure they hear a lot of crazy stuff every day, and a good psychiatrist will know that these desires of yours aren't inherently harmful (aside from the negative feelings you associate with them). It will be very hard at first, but once you get everything out on the table, it will get a little easier, and you should be able to make some progress.

    If you don't feel the psychiatrist you end up seeing is helping you; if you feel worse instead of better during or after talking to them, find someone else. Remember you can always come to the forum here if you need some emotional support or advice as you work these things out, or you need to talk things out and mull over your feelings or you need advice or encouragement as you work out these feelings.

    I strongly urge you to do whatever you need to do to come to terms with this so you can be happy with yourself. Again, suppressing who you are isn't good for you, please don't make yourself miserable, you shouldn't feel guilty for being you. There is nothing wrong with you.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    I'm attempting to see a psychiatrist. I have sent emails and not getting any replies so far. I don't know what I even want from them. I'm starting to put things together or at least admit things to myself that I've denied my whole life. I have never felt male but why did it take this long for me to admit this part of me.

    I've worn girl clothes since five. I've been using tape to keep things flat so long I don't remember when I started. Add to that the whole ab/dl/lg thing, I'm really really feeling far from a normal person.

    I don't know what I can do with the shrink other than the confess to a stranger I don't think hormones will work for me, not sure I would want them. Maybe I can get man hormones to change me into a real guy so I don't feel the urge to put on panties and bras and maybe diapers too.

    Is it odd in the email to the shrink I mention gender issues but can't bring myself to talk about LG and diapers? I feel like a freak, why did I have to be like this?

    I tried to tell my wife about my AB side, (many years ago). That was soooo bad that I have never been able to talk to her again about anything.

    I think I am starting to repeat myself from other threads for that I'm sorry. Something about writing things out makes me feel some better. Wonder how I can lie and hide so long, but now it feels like I'm out of runway.
    bfp2,

    I'm not sure where you would obtain a Psychiatrist's direct email address... so, I'm assuming you may have got the general email... and you may be getting scraped-off by a spam filter...

    Assuming that you require a Psychiatrist over say, a psychologist, or other competent counselor/ therapist... There should be contact information on the main web page... however, there may be a link for a request for evaluation or services too... and the latter is what you should use...

    Get Help - West Virginia Psychological Association gives a bit more on the differences in psychiatry and psychology...

    From West Virginia Psychological Association:


    Who do I contact if I am in crisis?
    If you are in an emergency or are considering suicide, call 911 immediately or go to your nearest Emergency Department.
    Call the crisis hotline: 1800-SUICIDE **Note from Marka: Most if not all Suicide/Crisis Prevention lines will have resources and referral information to help you find what you need, even if you're not feeling suicidal... try to call during regular hours for information and referral, but call anytime if you're feeling lost, hopeless, confused, or obviously suicidal, or otherwise feeling like you may cause harm to yourself and/or others!**

    Clarksburg area: 1-800-SUMMIT-0
    Franklin area: 1-800-545-HELP
    Huntington area: 1-800-642-3434
    Morgantown: 1-800-232-0020

    Help for domestic violence: WV Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center (RDVIC)

    Call RDVICís 24 hour hotline: 304-293-5100

    Help for addiction or abuse of prescription drugs: WV Prescription Drug Abuse Quitline

    Call the Quitline: 1-866-WV-QUITT

    How can I tell if it is time to ask for some help?

    When you feel as if you can't do it alone
    When you feel trapped, as if there is nowhere to turn
    When you worry all the time and never seem to find answers
    When the way you feel is affecting your sleep, your eating habits, your job, your relationships, your everyday life
    When issues such as marital or family problems, child rearing, severe illness or injury, death of a loved one, career changes, school problems, or crises associate with aging are making it difficult to cope with the routine demands of daily living.
    If feeling dangerous to yourself or others, go immediately to an Emergency Room for assistance.
    So, bfp2... you are looking for help... without knowing your area better, please try other options too...

    Now then, until you are better served...



    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    I've worn girl clothes since five. I've been using tape to keep things flat so long I don't remember when I started. Add to that the whole ab/dl/lg thing, I'm really really feeling far from a normal person.
    "normal" is an elusive thing... there is what you're used to, and there's what seems the majority of others are doing (or not doing)... Neither is a proper measure of what is healthy, or otherwise good for you... Mmmkay?

    Girls clothes= 'big whoop' ... granted not all items of clothing are appropriate, or socially acceptable at all times... and all places... it's otherwise just cloth, colors, and material... If it brings you joy, or relief (or both)... it hurts no one... be free my friend! Use your 'noodle' so you don't get beat up or something like that... but, have at it...

    In my most humble opinion... 'being male' or any gender for that matter... is mostly if not entirely a social construct period... Anatomy, and anatomical differences are a bit more inescapable...

    Just be you! Whatever that entails...



    I don't know what I can do with the shrink other than the confess to a stranger I don't think hormones will work for me, not sure I would want them. Maybe I can get man hormones to change me into a real guy so I don't feel the urge to put on panties and bras and maybe diapers too.
    I'm going to suggest, that we are talking about coping mechanisms...

    Talking with a competent counselor/therapist isn't about confessing your 'sins'... it's about sorting out why you feel and do some of the things you do, and what you might do about it to bring harmony and balance into your life...

    Your wife, or friends, or family not talking with you, or your concerns about what the neighbors might think... are a problem... but, by no means an indication of your worthiness, or accomplishments... Still, a counselor can help you negotiate these things... and tell you things you already know, but otherwise haven't managed to see in a soluble perspective... and, quite likely some things you haven't thought of... When you are at 'ground-zero', you're at the heart of it...but, you can't see anything else... A counselor can help you navigate into the 'clear'...

    You only need hormones if...
    a.) blood tests show a deficiency
    b.) You intend to physically alter your body and mind to match what you believe you really are...

    It is my understanding that hormones affect how you think and feel... not what you think and feel...

    I would start with the basic issues with a therapist, but I would start with the gender conflicts... LG kind of bridges the gender and possible age dysphoria...

    Let's assume for the start...that these are all coping mechanisms... you'll need to get to what it is you are coping with first...

    I think all of us here... have felt, or still feel like we're 'freaks'... that's normal here...

    We can only speculate on the hows and whys... perhaps it's not the 'curse' that it first seems...

    I understand how you might think or feel like a 'freak'... but, I don't believe that you are a freak... in-spite of myself

    You are among friends, and I'm glad that you are here!

    You are not alone... there are people from all walks of life all over the world in this very same thing... all the money, certificates, love, and sunshine... or lack thereof... has not spared any one of us...

    Take some hope, and continue on in educating yourself... I think you'll find a most accommodating life awaits you...

    Keep talking... if we can help... we will!

    Best to you,
    -Marka

  7. #7

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    Thank you guys, you are always so helpful. I got a reply back and my appointment is Tuesday. I told her I wanted to write up a brief explanation of my issues and send to her. The reason why is I don't think I would be able to talk to her when I get to the office. By spilling the beans so to speak, I'm hoping that will keep me from locking up and force me to talk about things that are embarassing to me.

    I've also looked up a local trans group that meets once a month. I'm not sure about that one...all of this frightens me...I hope I can get the courage up to just check it out and talk to others with similar problems. I'm hoping I can find a way to tell my wife. I love her so much and need her support and acceptance. I just can't do it right now, if she rejects me at this point in my life, it would probably be the end of me.

    I will let you guys know how things go. You all make me feel accepted and I want you all to know it really does help to read your words of advice and encouragement...it really means a lot to me and I am very very grateful to you all.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    Thank you guys, you are always so helpful. I got a reply back and my appointment is Tuesday. I told her I wanted to write up a brief explanation of my issues and send to her. The reason why is I don't think I would be able to talk to her when I get to the office. By spilling the beans so to speak, I'm hoping that will keep me from locking up and force me to talk about things that are embarassing to me.

    I've also looked up a local trans group that meets once a month. I'm not sure about that one...all of this frightens me...I hope I can get the courage up to just check it out and talk to others with similar problems. I'm hoping I can find a way to tell my wife. I love her so much and need her support and acceptance. I just can't do it right now, if she rejects me at this point in my life, it would probably be the end of me.

    I will let you guys know how things go. You all make me feel accepted and I want you all to know it really does help to read your words of advice and encouragement...it really means a lot to me and I am very very grateful to you all.
    I think you're doing the right thing by talking to a psychologist and visiting a trans group. If these questions are distressing you, then it's good to ask for advice. Other people will see things we can't in ourselves.

    An important thing to remember is that this is just gathering information. Choosing to visit a group or ask for help doesn't mean you are or aren't transgender. It will simply help you figure out the truth, whatever that may be. And in the end, the truth is what you need. Trying to deny yourself just causes a lot of pain - I know from trying to repress my feminine side, and all the transpeople on here know this better than I ever will. So finding the truth, whatever it may be, will help you decide what to do. Because in the end, it's your decision, and you've got the right to choose whatever will bring the most joy into your life.

    Remember we're always here to talk to if you need to. There are people here on every part of the crossdressing/transgender spectrum, so wherever you end up deciding you are, there's someone here who knows a bit of what it's like. Whatever happens, you've got people here who care. Good luck!

  9. #9

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    OMG, I cried the whole time. My letter to her ended up being about three pages of how I got to where I am today. I feel empty like I just poured everything out. There is some relief just telling another human being face to face. It would seem though, that there is a very long road ahead. Much like on this site I am finally able to say things that I have never been able to even admit fully to myself. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

    Thank you all so much, it is coming here first and stating things out loud so to speak, that allowed me to seek the help I needed. You all have my genuine love and respect. I have another appointment for next week...I'm still scared and nervous but I have to do this.

    My depression has been so bad it was this or die. I've lost 30 lbs in a month just from not wanting to eat. I'm now off to work to stare at my monitor and pretend I'm doing something. I hope I don't look like I've been crying for an hour.

    Thanks again guys you have all been great.

  10. #10

    Default

    Your not alone... i just wanted to thank you for making this thread. Keep believing in you!! You've inspired me to come back to adisc. Quite lonely without all you wonderful people. Got alot of stuff i need to talk about i hope my story can let you know your not alone..

    - - - Updated - - -

    Dont feel bad for being you
    ... EVER!!!! Your beautiful whoever you are. That is the beauty of life. And people WILL appreciate it! I just wish i could say the same thing for me sometimes... don't give up. Just be you

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