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Thread: Any way to "desexualise" being an AB?

  1. #1

    Default Any way to "desexualise" being an AB?

    For some of us I know being an AB is a sexual things, others it's not.

    I'm still finding out, but I think I'm asexual. Although I do have sexual feelings towards being an AB (i.e. when I wear a nappy/diaper). I find this inconvenient though, is there any way to try and change this in my mind? i.e. has anyone else got rid of the sexual feelings towards it?

    I am at peace with being an ABDL (although, would probably still prefer not to be). But if it relaxes me... great... But without being sexually aroused would also be great.

  2. #2

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    Hey there, unfortunately for many this is a double edged sword. For me I had the desire to behave regressively long before puberty... but I guess as part of me then it also became integrated into my sexuality. It's by no means my sexual identity but does arouse sexual feelings.... I really wish it didn't because it can be a confusing and unwanted sensation when I'm quite regressed.

    To answer your question, I'm not sure it's possible to get rid of something hard wired into your psyche, otherwise we'd probably be able to get rid of the ABDL desires.... and we all know that is unlikely. So I guess it comes down to how you choose to deal with it.

    Either way, try not to stress about it, if it's not controlling you then it's probably not a problem.

  3. #3

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    Isn't it possible to enjoy diapers one way on one day and a different way the next?

    I'm perfectly capable of going for a casual bike ride with my wife at her pace, then going out and racing at my limits on Saturday. Same activity, different facets.

    I think I see some OCD peeking out. You have to have your fantasy a certain way or you're not happy with it! Not criticizing, just point it out to help you get a grip on what's happening. Diaper time is happy time. No need to make it fit in somebody else categories.

  4. #4

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    Well if sexual arousal is creating dysphoria for you then you should definitely work on it. The more you diaper up you will probably get more used to it and the novelty will wear off. I had a little bit of what you are describing happen to me when my hormones first started surging, but it leveled off eventually. My advice would be to just ignore it until it goes away. At any rate ABDL* stuff being sexual for you makes sense. People's ABDL*ism colors every aspect of their identity, why wouldn't it also flavor their sexuality.

  5. #5

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    Is it possible you're both AB & DL? For me, I think I may be able to be big in diapers (haven't tried it yet.) or little in them but the 2 never mix, for trauma reasons.

  6. #6

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    You can be asexual and still experience sexual feelings, such as a fetish.

    There really isn't any way to de-sexualize it, not without extensive psychotherapy and the use of certain drugs. So I'd take your mind of that option. It's about the same level of difficultly for people that decide they want to get rid of it all together. It just doesn't happen.

    Really the best you can do is not place much emphasis on it, or feel guilty or stressed out if it does. Makes things worse. Things tend to level out overtime.

  7. #7

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    Thanks for your help everyone. I just want to add, that Ozbub, like yourself, I started these ABDL feelings (so can't class as "AB") well before puberty. I know it has changed me as a person, but hopefully it hasn't changed my sexual identity...

    So anyway, the main reason why I asked: is because diapers calm me. I recently bought some, and I find they calm me when I wear them. In usual situations, I think about them most days, and might wear them a few times a week. But I haven't thought about them in about two and half weeks because of stress. Because my body relates diapers to a sexual thing first before a relaxing thing, while being under stress I just didn't feel anything for it. But it would've been good if I could've used it to relax.

    But, it is what it is. I suppose I find arousal annoying in general, which I thought it would be unlikely I could get rid of...

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by JSR View Post
    But, it is what it is. I suppose I find arousal annoying in general, which I thought it would be unlikely I could get rid of...
    You can desexualize it, but there's no 'magic pill' nor cocksure way; it'll be your own, hard learned way.
    As has been mentioned, you can desensitize yourself by wearing more often, even setting aside some time so that you can wear until it's not just a bore, it's a aching chore.
    Also, the desexualization process will likely be the reverse process of sexualization ( obviously, that's personal to you, so you'll need to explore your own arousals)
    Most importantly, you're not yet done with puberty and, as you're probably coming to see, the longer-term effects of it (reckon on 25 being an end to puberty, you've then got several years of tidying up after it; maybe more).

    I know it's not an easy place to be, but you've got to bear with it.

  9. #9

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by ade View Post
    You can desexualize it, but there's no 'magic pill' nor cocksure way; it'll be your own, hard learned way.
    As has been mentioned, you can desensitize yourself by wearing more often, even setting aside some time so that you can wear until it's not just a bore, it's a aching chore.
    Also, the desexualization process will likely be the reverse process of sexualization ( obviously, that's personal to you, so you'll need to explore your own arousals)
    Most importantly, you're not yet done with puberty and, as you're probably coming to see, the longer-term effects of it (reckon on 25 being an end to puberty, you've then got several years of tidying up after it; maybe more).

    I know it's not an easy place to be, but you've got to bear with it.
    While adults 19-25 might go through elements of puberty, I don't believe it is a huge thing. Or at the very least, it's not huge for me. I'm 21 and stopped growing when I was about 16 (mind you, I never had a growth spurt). But I'm fairly sure my hormones are fairly stable at the moment (which they aren't in puberty).

    The process of being aroused while thinking about diapers etc isn't the worst thing, it would just be ideal without it. Considering I don't even get aroused when I'm getting sexual with a woman... but as you've alluded to, that could still be developing, which would be great if that's the case, maybe these preferences will still yet change

    Thanks for your help (I like your suggestion of making diapers a bore).



    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Don't masturbate while diapered
    I don't masturbate while diapered, however that is something to keep in mind to make sure I don't do if I don't want it to be a sexual thing. Thanks

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