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Thread: the right age gap?

  1. #1

    Default the right age gap?

    this is more for those here who are married and whatnot

    there's this place i go to every other saturday or so and its like a church-sponsored dance/ball thing. there's about a 50/50 mix of high schoolers and collegiate attendees, and its a fun cool safe way to meet people and relax. however, i've been running into roadblocks there. i'll meet a girl, and she'll be awesome and think i'm awesome, only to find out theyre still a senior or a junior in high school.

    i just turned 19 a few days ago, and traditionally my limit has been no more than two years younger, and i dont care at all if older. for those of you with relationship experience, how many years apart is right?

    obviously i dont ask this question because i am attempting courtship with ill selfish intentions (nothing illegal), its not even in my mind. i just was wondering for how many years apart should the (hypothetical) girl be from me?



    idk if it makes a difference but a lot of the time i look younger than they do, they mistake me for 16 a lot.

  2. #2

    Default

    At my age I set the limit at no girls more than 40 years younger than me. (jk)

    A few years difference in age is no big deal. The main thing is compatibilty. Follow your heart. At your age, though, a few years difference in ages has very serious legal concerns of which you are aware. Just watch out that emotions don't lead to you getting careless.

  3. #3

    Default

    There's always the good old half-plus-seven rule that you can use as a guide. So basically at nineteen dating a seventeen year old would be at the lower end of what is considered not creepy.

    Even beyond that, I would recommend checking your local age of consent laws and to refrain from dating anyone that you can't legally have sex with (even if you have no intentions of doing anything sexual). It significantly cuts down on the potential ugliness if your girlfriend's parents decide they hate you. Plus its a good guide of what is locally considered not to be kosher.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    There's always the good old half-plus-seven rule that you can use as a guide. So basically at nineteen dating a seventeen year old would be at the lower end of what is considered not creepy.

    Even beyond that, I would recommend checking your local age of consent laws and to refrain from dating anyone that you can't legally have sex with (even if you have no intention to do anything sexual). It significantly cuts down on the potential ugliness if your girlfriend's parents decide they hate you. Plus its a good guide of what is locally considered not to be kosher.
    This seems totally reasonable.

    Back in the day, I dated a 16 year old for a while when I was 20, but gave up on on it because the differences were just too great. Things like prom were just..... awkward.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    Things like prom were just..... awkward.
    Heh, I actually went to prom for the second time at age 20, as a favour to a friend (who was 18 at the time). Going to a high school function after two years in university just feels odd.

  6. #6

    Default

    age of consent is really the only rule you need to follow, personally Ive been with people twice my age and half my age, it was all legal, and all good experiences

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    Heh, I actually went to prom for the second time at age 20, as a favour to a friend (who was 18 at the time). Going to a high school function after two years in university just feels odd.
    Actually, it was worse than that for me. I had graduated college by then.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    There's always the good old half-plus-seven rule that you can use as a guide. So basically at nineteen dating a seventeen year old would be at the lower end of what is considered not creepy.
    Never heard of that rule but I like it. It's good to know I can date someone younger than my kids and still be in the "not creepy" range.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    Never heard of that rule but I like it. It's good to know I can date someone younger than my kids and still be in the "not creepy" range.
    The range does start to explode as one gets older, ya

  10. #10

    Default

    I have to agree with the above responders. Follow the age of consent, and then after that, having things in common. There is a world of difference between college students and high school, but girls mature before guys, so you may find some common interests with a girl one or two years younger.

    To answer your question, my wife is a year and a half younger than me. She actually skipped a year of grade school, so she graduated from college the same year I did. We have a lot in common, and some things that are different. It's what makes life interesting and workable.

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