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Thread: Finally accepted me for me

  1. #1

    Default Finally accepted me for me

    I have finally accepted who I am but how do you meet a woman who is looking for an abdl male and will take you for what you are! I mean diapers are a big part of me but not all me!! I have been on abdl match and I met women but I get the impression that they are just actors like they are getting paid!! Any advice would be appreciated!

  2. #2


    Well i would just try to meet a nice woman, a woman who loves you for who you are, and if ur lucky she might even get into diapers! ^-^

  3. #3


    You can't let diapers rule your relationship decisions any more than you can let them rule your other life decisions. Would you go to a job interview and ask if they are diaper friendly? Unless you're incontinent, no. Even then, you would probably wait until the final interview to make sure that it wouldn't interfere with job performance.

    If diapers are THAT important to you, you should probably get help before entering a long term relationship.

  4. #4


    I m seeing a therapist! She says that it's no big deal!! I'm not all about wearing diapers! It's just that when I do want to I get upset because it's not accepted

  5. #5


    I think the best advise you've gotten is this, meet the girl who is going to love you so much that she will love you unconditionally. They do exist as my wife is one of them. I never mentioned diapers when we were dating because I was too embarrassed, and at the time, I didn't think they would be as dominant a factor as they gradually became.

    When she finally discovered the reality of that, she was very accepting. She loves me unconditionally, the same way I love her. There's no easy way to negotiate this, so dating is the starting point. When you fall in love, the other things begin to fall into place.

  6. #6


    I'm sure that the women you meet will have secrets as well. There are no perfect matches in relationships, you're never going to agree with everything. It's also not about looking for AB/DL women, it's looking for your soul mate who will love you for you, whether she likes diapers or not. You also do not have to reveal your little side to start a relationship, there will be a time that you positively know when the time is right to explain your secret.

    I am glad that you've come to accept yourself a bit, although I can tell you are still in doubt about it. Being an AB/DL shouldn't have to affect your day to day life. You don't need to try to control your urges. You don't really need a psychiatrist to tell you that you are still human. What you need to do is become more open with it yourself and not suppress your desires because of emotional disgust.

    One thing that you can do is get (well)padded and go watch a movie at a theater. Get a big drink if you want and go enjoy yourself. Do some other things that you enjoy in life beside AB/DL and join the two things, and, it will help you be more accepting of it and can coexist with other interests in your life without prejudice, and that my friend, is a feeling like no other. When you truly accept yourself, you'll know it when you diaper up without even thinking about it. No 2nd, 3rd, or 4th thoughts about it.

    I'm not saying go all out 24/7, just accept your urges a little more often, and, openly with yourself.

  7. #7


    i respectfully disagree with dogboy's suggestion to "meet the girl who is going to love you so much that she will love you unconditionally". that sounds way too rare and perfect. dogboy, congratulations on finding her :-) but i don't want this poor guy to spend forever looking ;-)

    i found a girl (at a bar) whose company i really enjoyed, and who seemed to be open minded enough. after we dated for about a month, i told her while we were out driving around that since i was 12 i have really enjoyed wearing a diaper sometimes, and peeing in it, and i've never figured out why. i also said that it doesn't bother me not to know why, i really enjoy having a little private diaper habit, and i don't plan to try to quit or deny it. after thinking for a bit, she said she didn't know why i was so nervous (even though i tried not to be nervous) and said that my desire was pretty tame compared to a former friend who got pleasure from drawing on his penis with a razor blade. (owww!) and she has her own quirks, and mine is no big deal to her. and so her level of acceptance was understood - sometimes i wear diapers often or all day, lately usually just when i go jogging, but always inconspicuously and under my clothes because we have kids. and sometimes she'll ask if i'm running low and offer to buy more while the big kids are in school :-)

    however, never assume that someone's acceptance of your peculiarities extends to *other* things. we have a mutual friend who came out to us (and eventually to the world, on facebook) as a crossdresser. my wife expressed that she's glad that wasn't my thing, because she probably wouldn't be able to tolerate a man in girly underwear. and i honestly said that's no problem for me since i don't have any need for that. she's also not too into the mommy/baby roleplay idea, and i'm not either, so that's fine. i also don't smoke or do drugs or hit her or many other unspoken things that would or should be relationship deal-breakers.

    she asked me, what if she decided to tell me that she despised my diaper thing that day when i told her? i said, well, we probably wouldn't have lasted much longer, since i consider my own acceptance of it as significantly necessary for my mental wellness. i wouldn't want to sneak and hide it, because she'd notice easily now that we've had the conversation, and i would just be caught in a lie, and it's not worth it.

    so, would you rather be remembered as the freak she dated for a month before breaking up because he said he liked to wear diapers, or the guy she divorced because he lived in shame for years, lied a lot, and hid his freaky habit? just keep it in your head that you are a freak because you're unusual, and being one freak is not a bad thing. dating and early committed relationships are exactly the time to honestly figure out your new significant other, and to let them go gently if it's just not close enough to make life better for both of you.

    so if you know you like her, "let your freak flag fly", and a girl who decides you're worth it will hang on to you!

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