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Thread: Rough patch as a fetishist...

  1. #1

    Default Rough patch as a fetishist...

    Back in May my elderly mother had a stroke, and she is now dependent on adult diapers (no pun intended). Seeing them in the trash and seeing her in them just makes me feel filthy. I already know I have no sexual attraction to her, but to me it's the equivalent of someone who is into kink seeing their 70-year old mother walking around in a gimp suit! If I accidentally see her in them it will take me awhile to recover from the filthy feeling. Anyone have any ideas of how to cope? Possibly even to dumb down the fetish a bit? I already know getting rid of it is out of le question.

  2. #2

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    No disrespect intended, but I think your making a big deal of something so very little. You are throwing out a variety of "what ifs" that have not happened, nor do they seem likely to happen (if at all). Yes you happen to have a diaper fetish. Yes you will inadvertently when seeing them be reminded of that fact. Dwelling on it after the fact and potentially freaking out is not the way to go about your business.

    I understand completely it's one of those "Eww! OMG" ideas when it's presented, believe me potential parents here (I've seen) pin away at this fear a lot, but it's only as big of a deal as you make it out to be, frankly.

    When babysitting I've changed diapers before, and it doesn't cross my mind really at all. To me it's not a huge deal if I'm suddenly reminded I like diapers or not. Ya know whatever. I happen to have an odd fetish. Big whoop. You really have nothing to worry over.

    So my advice is to stop pinning away at that fact and think to yourself "whatever" that you happen to be a DL or there is a diaper to be seen in your midst.

    2 years ago I was somewhat making a big deal out of if I wore diapers to bed I would start wetting at night since it was was so new to me. Seeing as your 19 I can see that. But like I said, it's not a big deal. Overtime I expect you'll find yourself going "what was I worrying about?" So relax...


  3. #3

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    I understand where you're coming from. Making the connection from old age and needing diapers, to what we do is a grim one indeed. Since I'm older, I've done it as well, but I make myself move beyond it and focus on being little. When my children were born, and I was changing diapers, my desire to wear diapers dissipated, almost to no desire. Once they grew out of diapers, the desire came back.

    I think you will be able to move away from this connection. As Geno suggests, only you can move your mind away from the connection. Think about little things, such as baby things. Try to disassociate from the elder connection, and reconnect to the cute baby image.

  4. #4

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    My dad was in a rehab facility (physical) in January. The nursing staff was stretched thin so they had him in adult diapers. When I saw that, reality hit me as in "This is no fun anymore." Admittedly, another part of me wanted to smuggle some out for myself. But I didn't.

    He was released and is somewhat back to as normal as an 80+ yo can be. My feelings returned and although the image is still in my mind, the urge to wear is a strong one.

    I suspect your feelings will return too. You will either get used to her in them or will just push the thought aside.

    On another note, this appears to be your first post. Can you start another thread, introduce yourself and tell us a little more about your non-DL/DF interests? This helps us get to know you better and give better individual advice.

  5. #5

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    As you can see I am most certainly the new kid on the block. Where would I post this introduction? I've been meaning to for a few hours, really, but I've been busy with college-oriented things.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by SkyeWayAvenue View Post
    As you can see I am most certainly the new kid on the block. Where would I post this introduction? I've been meaning to for a few hours, really, but I've been busy with college-oriented things.
    There is an introduction forum perfect for introduction needs!

    I sort of agree that the biggest thing is sort of just to get over it. You are sort of making your grandmothers condition about you, which isn't the nicest thing to be doing even if it's hard not to sometimes. I know you aren't intending to do that, and fetishes can be irrational and unforgiving creatures and they don't care about logic or sense sometimes. If you really just feel yourself picturing something you don't intend, start trying your hardest to picture something you do intend. Someone sexy or something, I dunno. It might be worth a shot.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by SkyeWayAvenue View Post
    As you can see I am most certainly the new kid on the block. Where would I post this introduction? I've been meaning to for a few hours, really, but I've been busy with college-oriented things.
    Introduce yourself (with a guide if you need one) is here Thanks!

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by SkyeWayAvenue View Post
    Back in May my elderly mother had a stroke, and she is now dependent on adult diapers (no pun intended). Seeing them in the trash and seeing her in them just makes me feel filthy. I already know I have no sexual attraction to her, but to me it's the equivalent of someone who is into kink seeing their 70-year old mother walking around in a gimp suit! If I accidentally see her in them it will take me awhile to recover from the filthy feeling. Anyone have any ideas of how to cope? Possibly even to dumb down the fetish a bit? I already know getting rid of it is out of le question.
    Hello SkyeWayAvenue And welcome to the group.

    I read this thread and stepped away for a while and your point kept resonating in my mind.

    I think what is needed is to take a step back and look at exactly what is the concern.

    I was in the same boat ten years ago and I started into a depression tail spin that I got a lot of help with.

    Are you concerned about the fetish or is (like in my case) the shock of your reality?

    This is a person that has cared for you and nurtured you in one way or another (be it good or bad) and now you are faced with her frailty.

    It may not be in the for front of your thoughts, but all of a sudden the reality of your life expectancy is challenged.

    For me I was 43 single and managing the family farm. I had already had one serious mental health crisis and now I am having to get up and dress MY MOTHER too.

    All I ever heard her talk about was how she was not going to be alone in a home with strangers taking care of her. It was that part that I refused to deal with, because no she was not. She pounded it into us kids that we had to take care of her and that is what I did, and neglected to look at my needs first.

    After a lot of counseling and looking at myself I realized the hole I had dug myself into.

    I have taken care of myself and now have a family (all be it I am paying the price for having kids in my 50's in stead of earlier) and funny thing, She is still being taken care of.

    So I guess my bottom line is;

    1) How are you "filthy". IF it helps you look at you needs and desires for the fetish and helps you gain more understanding and balance, then this is a good thing.

    2) You are not looking at her as a "playmate". This is no different then taking care of (enter age here) that needs help with everyday living.

    3) it still comes down to balance and control. There is a time for your AB/DL needs that have nothing to do with real life, and there is real life that just has to be taken care of.

    Hang in there, and remember that this is one of those hard parts of life nobody talk about until it happens. So talk to your family about helping with your moms needs and remember to take care of yourself too, because Your no help to anyone if you get "sick" in the process.

    Good luck.

  9. #9

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    I don't have to take care of her completely yet. She still has quite a bit of independence, and it is true that the fetish does help me in a way. I'm constantly trying to get the image out of my head because of diapers being an object of sex and comfort for me, so the idea of my mother wearing them does bother me a bit, but as other users have suggested it might all be in my head.
    Currently I am working on helping myself with that. ADISC is my first step. I figured that maybe, if I joined a community full of people like me, it would help me overcome that feeling of being "filthy". Each of your hints have been helpful thus far.

  10. #10

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    First off, I'm sorry about your mother. That has to be quite a strain on your family and I hope you have appropriate support. It might not seem like it at first blush but this is just as valid a question as any other you might have on how to manage with your mother's new condition. The biggest problem is that it's not the sort of thing you're likely to be able to discuss with the rest of your family or friends.

    The good news is there are others here who have had to deal with loved ones in diapers or even other adults in non-kinky conditions. I refer to parents of diaper wearing children and health care workers. From this, we can see it's possible to still enjoy this, which is good, since as you note, the desire isn't going to go away. I'd suggest trying to make distinctions between your wearing and hers in your mind. The situations are already going to be different but I'd avoid her brand or anything else you strongly associate with her being in diapers. Establish the difference in your mind between "diapers" and "DIAPERS". One is just an item that people use to relieve a problem and the other is an awesome and amazing object that represents fun and fulfillment. There's nothing filthy about it in this sense, so have a blast!

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