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Thread: transitoning at the worst time...

  1. #1
    CrinklySiren

    Default transitoning at the worst time...

    Ok i realize that this is not a trans support site and is an ABDL site, so i felt like Mature Topics was the only appropriate place to put this...

    I'm in trouble..... I started transition a month ago and I'm not turning back for anyone or anything.

    Here's the problem: My parents own a shipping company which i work for, and we primarily ship things to venezuela... As i'm sure you're all aware.. things over there are really bad and my parents are not making any money... they told me and my big brother to start looking for a new job because one more month of how things are now, and they will have to sell the company.... Things in Venezuela are only getting worse and wont get better in such a short time...

    Bigger problem: I'm in Florida (Miami to be specific)... surrounded by closed-minded, gawking hispanics who wouldn't know the difference between a transgender person and a lamp post, and this lack of knowledge results in dislike. Down here... I can get refused a job for any reason and discrimination down here is often masked by "we don't like you" and they arent legally required to go into detail either.... I'm very worried right now because my paycheck pays the majority of the bills... I'm also worried for my parents because they are un-hireable at their age....

    I don't know what to do...

    I feel like I started my transition at the worst possible time... I didn't expect things to get this bad.. none of us did. Maybe I just need some reassuring words but honestly I'm drawing a blank and crying... I couldn't find a job for 3 years when I was male... I can't imagine how much more difficult its going to be now... don't know why I'm posting this... but if anyone can offer some insight.. i would greatly appreciate it.

  2. #2

    Default

    Oh, wow! I'm so sorry you're going through all this. First question, and forgive me because I know nothing of transitioning, but can you put it on hold for awhile until you get back on your feet?

    Is it possible to move? The Disney Company, for example, is very open minded these days. Maybe them or one of the other theme parks?

    I would imagine your parents are pretty good t running a business. Do you think they and you can start a new business of some kind? As in take the profits from the sale of their business and roll it over into another one, like a franchise?

  3. #3
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    Oh, wow! I'm so sorry you're going through all this. First question, and forgive me because I know nothing of transitioning, but can you put it on hold for awhile until you get back on your feet?
    Asking me to put my transition on hold is like asking an escaped torture victim to go back to his torturer. I couldn't even properly function before transition and was close to suicide... putting in on hold will definitely push me to pull the trigger.



    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    Is it possible to move? The Disney Company, for example, is very open minded these days. Maybe them or one of the other theme parks?
    No money to move, 2 year lease on brand new apartment. Disney is 2 and a half hours away from me, and I've heard and read scary things about their job descriptions... Plus im married and my wife can't just put everything on pause either. She said she'd help me find a job but its difficult being transgender in a primarily religiously old fashioned hispanic city.



    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    I would imagine your parents are pretty good t running a business. Do you think they and you can start a new business of some kind? As in take the profits from the sale of their business and roll it over into another one, like a franchise?
    Down here, the money making business is import/export to south america, primarily Venezuela... Most of the city is shipping to venezuela, and almost 70% of the companies have shut down. Other countries are too expensive or too tight on customs security, they've already tried. We have absolutely nothing to sell either and they have terrible credit after making bad business investments, so they cant afford to take out a loan, and have no money to even pay the bills, let alone start a new business. They've tried in the past to make new businesses but its hard when you have terrible credit, and they refuse to use my credit because they dont want to ruin my credit, i cant convince them otherwise. I dont even have a degree in anything yet.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post
    Ok i realize that this is not a trans support site and is an ABDL site, so i felt like Mature Topics was the only appropriate place to put this...

    I'm in trouble..... I started transition a month ago and I'm not turning back for anyone or anything.

    Here's the problem: My parents own a shipping company which i work for, and we primarily ship things to venezuela... As i'm sure you're all aware.. things over there are really bad and my parents are not making any money... they told me and my big brother to start looking for a new job because one more month of how things are now, and they will have to sell the company.... Things in Venezuela are only getting worse and wont get better in such a short time...

    Bigger problem: I'm in Florida (Miami to be specific)... surrounded by closed-minded, gawking hispanics who wouldn't know the difference between a transgender person and a lamp post, and this lack of knowledge results in dislike. Down here... I can get refused a job for any reason and discrimination down here is often masked by "we don't like you" and they arent legally required to go into detail either.... I'm very worried right now because my paycheck pays the majority of the bills... I'm also worried for my parents because they are un-hireable at their age....

    I don't know what to do...

    I feel like I started my transition at the worst possible time... I didn't expect things to get this bad.. none of us did. Maybe I just need some reassuring words but honestly I'm drawing a blank and crying... I couldn't find a job for 3 years when I was male... I can't imagine how much more difficult its going to be now... don't know why I'm posting this... but if anyone can offer some insight.. i would greatly appreciate it.
    CrinklyEmilyLG,

    I'm sorry too... if you are on the books, can you not collect unemployment? Are you all still living together too, sharing major expenses? Anyway, though it may not seem like it now...perhaps the best thing for you, and maybe your parents too...would be to relocate...like Zip said, maybe start another business or somehow expand who and where you service in the current business (so, you don't have all your 'eggs' in one Venezuelan basket)...

    As far as transitioning goes... one month doesn't seem that far into it... if you have to put it on hold for a bit... Perseverance may be what gets you through it but, inflexibility by nature is what breaks things... negotiating basic necessities is not giving-up or loosing; it's ensuring that you can reach your goals ...don't cut-off your nose to spite your face... or take the position that if you can't rule it all...burn it all down

    And who knows... something may pick up for the business, and buy more time... I think a back-up/alternate plan would still be a good idea though...

    Keep talking...
    -Marka

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    CrinklyEmilyLG,

    I'm sorry too... if you are on the books, can you not collect unemployment? Are you all still living together too, sharing major expenses? Anyway, though it may not seem like it now...perhaps the best thing for you, and maybe your parents too...would be to relocate...like Zip said, maybe start another business or somehow expand who and where you service in the current business (so, you don't have all your 'eggs' in one Venezuelan basket)...

    As far as transitioning goes... one month doesn't seem that far into it... if you have to put it on hold for a bit... Perseverance may be what gets you through it but, inflexibility by nature is what breaks things... negotiating basic necessities is not giving-up or loosing; it's ensuring that you can reach your goals ...don't cut-off your nose to spite your face... or take the position that if you can't rule it all...burn it all down

    And who knows... something may pick up for the business, and buy more time... I think a back-up/alternate plan would still be a good idea though...

    Keep talking...
    -Marka
    The thing is that before i was on hormones... my mind was irrational... the hormones (for the short amount of time) caused me to rationalize, think clearly, think responsibly, unfog my brain... a month may not be a long time but i've waited 23 years to be who I am and finally I'm able to breathe and get up in the morning... I can't go back to what I use to be... Just thinking about it makes me want to cry... I'll figure out what im gonna do, i know things will get better... but stopping my transition is not something im willing to do... I just can't. I dont live with them i live on my own with my wife, i pay my own bills. But i still worry about them like any child would worry about their parents.

    I know im young and i'll probably be fine, and im more than likely just thinking negtively because of how heavy the situation is.. maybe i wont have a hard time finding a job.. but my parents can't just start a new business or get hired anywhere... they are in their 50s, and arent able to get the money from anywhere to open a new business... not to mention that if we shut down, they will have to pay off a 3 year lease they JUST renewed on the office building.

    Im more worried about them than I am about myself to be honest.

  6. #6

    Default

    I think the harsh truth in job finding, is relocating. Most of the jobs I got involved moving, until I was finally settled. If you break your lease, you'll lose your deposit, etc, but it might be worth it if you can find a better paying job. It's worth considering.

  7. #7

    Default

    It might be worth just trying it before you assume you won't be able to get it, although I perfectly understand being frightened about the idea.

    Also if possible, big cities are usually better about this and easier to find LGBT friendly businesses then smaller towns. I'm not sure how possible moving is for you though.

  8. #8

    Default

    I'm really not sure what the best path is here, and I'm sorry you've had to go through all this.

    In terms of jobs, I don't know how realistic this is since I've never been to Miami, but it seems like there are a few LGBT job resources out there:Miami-Dade Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (to be fair, I'm not sure if they're trans friendly too, but probably better odds than regular businesses). It may be worth checking with some of the jobs advertised here. There's a pretty good range.

    My thoughts and prayers are gonna be with you. I really hope you're able to find a source of income soon. Please keep us up to date on everything - we're all pulling for you here! You can make it!

  9. #9

    Default

    My sympathy. Doesn't sound like the next few months will be much of a picnic.

    Best I can suggest is always having a reason to get up in the morning.

    Have a goal. Make a plan to achieve that goal. Break the plan down into smaller bite size steps on a schedule, and only focus on the step you have to take right now. You only have to review the big picture once in a while to revise tha plan as needed.

    Its sort of like running a marathon. Standing at the start line, the whole thing looks overwhelming. Most runners never think about the whole thing, they just think about getting to the next mile marker in 6:39, or whatever time they need to hit their target for the finish.

    Looking for a job is just like being a salesman. Its mostly about dealing with rejection and moving on to the next opportunity. If you push the button enough times, you'll get what you need.

  10. #10

    Default

    While I don't have an answer for you, I do think that you are very employable if not there, elsewhere. You seem articulate and know what you want. No one likes to hear about relocation. I had to take my last $400 and pack what I could in my car 8 years ago to move 800 miles to Oklahoma. I knew one person. I survived though. My career has grown by leaps and bounds being down here. I've had so many opportunities that I would not have had should I have stayed in Michigan.

    Oh, and I was TG at one point. I started on hormones for a month and then bailed. It's cool though.
    Last edited by bAByTiffany; 02-Apr-2014 at 23:36.

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