Binge/Purge Cycle

Rowan said:

That sounds really encouraging. Good for you, good luck! I find the more you push certain desires away, the stronger they get. Whereas when you acknowledge them, they lose their power a bit.

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slipperywhenwet said:

I have read this thread with great interest! A lot of thought went into the original post and so many comments that followed. Two years after I got married, I learned about my Hubby’s diaper fetish. That was the first time I heard of binge/purge. It was being done behind my back and I could have cried. Not because I thought my H was some kind of weirdo, but because he didn’t feel that I would accept him and it meant that our communication was not as good as I had thought. Fast forward to today… After much understanding, communication, trial and error, patience, and learning to love unconditionally, I must say the journey was worth it.

I say all of this to encourage those who may be going through a binge/purge pattern to try another way, especially if you are in a relationship. From a woman’s point of view, be honest with yourself and your loved one. Please tell that person earlier in your relationship rather than waiting. I can tell you that our experience would have been so much easier if the fetish was out in the open earlier. And to think we wasted valuable playtime. Smile.

My Hubby was miserable at times during our early marriage and that is because he was going through the cycle and trying to hide his secret from me. Please don’t do that to yourselves or your loved one. Had I known about his fetish before we were married, I would have accepted him of course. I would much rather have my man glued to me because we share a common interest than him “trying to find love in all the wrong places.” If you catch my drift.

On a lighter note… There should be a place on this site to give away your diapers when you feel the need to purge. What a benefit to the community! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

So sorry if this post came off “preachy,” not my intend…spoken with love.

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plasticsounds said:

After 30 years of dealing with the ebb and flow of these desires, I have recently come to the conclusion that what we are dealing with here is chemical or hormonal.

I, too go through binge/purge cycles. As an intelligent being, you would think that I could think my way through these feelings. Not happening. I have noticed a couple of things recently.

When I have had a few drinks, my feelings are very strong, even when I am in 'purge' mode. Also when I am in purge mode, I can break myself out of it by withholding any sexual release for at least a week. Since no matter what my logical mind thinks, the feelings are there. To me, this has to be a chemical thing. The proof is that when I finally give in to desires and have an orgasm, everything changes almost instantly. We have all experienced this, and the only explanation for this instant change is the flood of hormones that the brain receives after release. I think this is more pronounced in men. We tend to have a period after orgasm that nothing can get us back in the mood. Only time passing, and the clearing out of the chemicals in our brain, can explain this.

Now all we need to do is figure out what hormone this is and put it in the municipal water, so everyone will feel what we feel and we can all wear whatever we want with no judgement.

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Nihlus said:

Coming to terms with being an AB/DL can be a long road for many people. Those who have AB/DL desires but have not fully accepted them are particularly prone to going through what is known as the binge/purge cycle.



The Cycle


Binge

The binge phase is often preceded by a period wherein one's AB/DL desires become stronger and stronger. One might find himself thinking about diapers more often and having much stronger desires to indulge. Eventually, these feelings result in the binge phase where one has a desire to overindulge in ABDL activities.

During the binge phase, a person often overindulges in AB/DL activities and feels a much greater connection to them. This may take the form of buying a considerable amount of diapers, wearing diapers at every possible opportunity, or extensively using other AB/DL items such as pacifiers, bottles, onesies, sleepers, etc.


Purge

After going through the binge phase, a person will typically look back on what they've done and will begin to have feelings of shame or disgust. People tend to take a step back and out of some combination of diminished interest from indulging so much and shame over doing something perceived as very abnormal, they decide that they want to be completely rid of their AB/DL urges. At this point, the person going through the cycle often swears that he/she will stop being an AB/DL and will never wear diapers again. This is where the purge phase begins.

The purge phase is when a person rejects their AB/DL desires and tries to do whatever they think they can do to get rid of them. For some people, the feelings brought on by a purge drive them to throw away of all their AB/DL related items in an attempt to permanently eradicate the desires. The length of a purge can greatly vary between individuals. Many report it lasting as little as a week, and few report it lasting for multiple years.



Why it Happens


Natural Ebb and Flow of Desires

People often go through periods of heightened and reduced interest in AB/DL activities. Members tend to report that with time and increased acceptance, the extremes tend to smooth out, such that their desires vary without creating such massive changes in behavior. It is perfectly natural to gain and lose interest in desires, and the problem is when those otherwise natural swings are destructively large. The cycle is problematic when people binge to an extreme extent wherein they spend large amounts of time and money on AB/DL desires, and then purge in extreme ways, attempting to suppress or completely eliminate all AB/DL desires.


Lesser Acceptance Leads to More Extreme Cycles

The binge/purge cycle tends to result from the conflict between one's AB/DL desires and one's own self-image. There's a negative stigma attached to wearing diapers and for many people, it can be difficult to accept one's desires in light of it. When a person enters the purge phase, they typically think that this behavior is not normal and that they would be better off without it so they attempt to completely rid themselves of their AB/DL interests in an attempt to be a "normal" person who isn't into something that would generally be viewed as bizarre. After purging, the desires, which have previously been rejected/suppressed, build up until they reach a point where the person enters the binge phase, restarting the cycle.


Dealing with the Cycle

During both binges and purges, people are generally faced with extreme feelings regarding AB/DL behavior: during binges, they typically want to indulge as much as possible and during purges, they want to completely rid themselves of these feelings by any means necessary. The key element to dealing with the cycle is moderation. If a person can strike a balance between the two extremes, they can prevent the feelings of binging or purging from becoming too strong. If overdoing things can be avoided, the cycle can be managed.


Moderation While Binging

When going through the binge phase, a person will be very tempted to indulge in AB/DL activities and one should do so to an extent. The feelings towards AB/DL behavior are typically quite strong during this phase and the ideal thing to do is to try and keep the feelings in check by indulging in AB/DL activities in moderation. Wear a diaper, suck on a pacifier, or do some other AB/DL-related thing but don't do it excessively. If you start to suspect that you're overdoing it, put the diapers away for a while and allow for some time to pass before indulging again. Pushing things too far by overindulging is a large part of what triggers a purge.


Moderation While Purging

When faced with the feelings of shame and the resulting desires to rid AB/DL feelings from one's life, it's important to remember that this phase will be temporary and that the desires will later resurface.

No matter how strong the temptation may be, one should refrain from throwing away any diapers or other AB/DL items since these items will have to be repurchased when the desires return. This only creates additional stress one will end up going through the process of buying all the items again which can be considerably expensive, depending on how much is being replaced. When faced with the desire to throw away or destroy any AB/DL items, the ideal thing to do is to put them somewhere out of the way (such as a basement or garage). Throwing things away never helps anything so the best thing to do is to simply put everything out of sight and just try to forget about them until the purge phase ends.



Rising Above Binge/Purge


To ultimately defeat the binge/purge cycle, you must fully come to terms with the AB/DL desires in your life and eliminate all the feelings of shame that you may have associated with them. You need to realize that being an AB/DL is a part of who you are and that the desires will not go away, no matter how much you want them to do so. Self-acceptance of being an AB/DL doesn't usually come easily but it can be achieved. To do this, you need to stop worrying about what other people might think of infantilism and realize that:

1. It's something that you enjoy.
2. It's no one's business but your own and whoever you decide to tell about it.
3. It does not cause any harm to you or anyone else and as such, it cannot be objectively viewed as wrong.

It often takes time to recognize these points but once you're able to do so, you'll find yourself closer to accepting your AB/DL desires and ridding yourself of the binge/purge cycle. Once you've fully accepted the AB/DL desires, you'll find that it's much easier to balance your AB/DL side with your own self-image. You may still go through periods of increased interest or apathy but, as mentioned previously, this is normal behavior.

More information on self-acceptance can be found in this article.

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joshlad said:

i'm not extreme in my binges and purges but it still happens to me. it's only really been the past 2 years i'v really started figuring out that part of me. i'm gay and have a fetish for inflatables too so have had a lot to make sense of. i'm 26 now. i wish i'd known about this sight when i was 17/18 but it didn't even occur to me there were others like me out there. i'm totaly blind so my assistive technology probably wouldn't have let me access adisc in 2013 anyway. my husband gets me everything i need and totally supports me which i am for ever grateful for, though he can't share any of it with me as he doesn't find it remotely attractive. i accept and indulge my rubber DL side but that's as far as it goes if i'm honest. it gives me the best feelings in the world but i still feel like a freak who no-one could ever want in that way or understand. for all i know no man could ever want that part of me. sometimes telling myself that makes me feel better because i'm not missing out on anything, sometimes that confused little man boy part of me feels so alone and sad. i either love that part of me or hate it with equal passion. then i feel orfal for feeling anything like that because hubby loves me in every possible other way. i can't let him go, yet i can't stop wishing some bloke could see beauty in my little lad side, even if it's technically not little because when i'm little i feel a mans need to be desired and made love to. it's really confusing and i'm pritty lost. i can't seam to help it. i'm terrified time will go on and on, and by the time anyone turns up, i won't be able or young boy enough for them. it would be easier for me to believe no man could ever want a guy wearing inflatables and a nice thick tight pad with rubber shorts and a dummy, totally dependent on them, but i'm scared i might always miss out on that kind of man if he exists. all the gay men i'v ever known like "real men". big butch blokes who can take charge of them and top from time to time. i can't top and i'm not masculine or remotely dominant sexually. basicly mentaly i'm a mess

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Dry247 said:

Ya I've done alot of throwing stuff out even the same day as buying it... I'd have alot of supplies and then throw them out feeling shame about it all, and then for about a few weeks I wouldn't have anything to do with diapers. Then eventually I'd go and buy it all over again by the case. Now I can keep more supplies on hand and have a good place for storing everything. Instead of throwing stuff out I now box it up and put it away for a while if I need to, like pajamas and plastic pants, bedding, bottles, everything is put away and only thing that would be found if someone looked hard would be diapers and just the regular ones not abdl. Stuff cost too much to throw out anymore

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ILuvDiapers said:

Totally agree! It's too expensive and wasteful to just throw away.

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