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Thread: Asking for Advice

  1. #1

    Default Asking for Advice

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    Ok, my family and I are getting ready to go on a big trip to Cancun. Oh and with family too! I wear 24/7 so, I'll be wearing there and back. The only time I won't be is if I'm in the pool or on the beach.

    This is how I leave my diapers, plus I have several bags of over stock in my room. We're going to ask our nephew and his girl friend to watch our house so they'll have a key and can come and go. We have a dog too. This issue came up where my wife said pack up all your diapers and hide them. I'm tired of her making me feel weird! I don't want to and I don't see what the big issue is. So, my question is should I or am I being disrespectful of not doing that? If they snoop they're going to find them anyhow. Hard to hide 6 cases of Bambinos? I feel she has the issue not me. The other family members never say anything. I really feel this is my wife's issues and she should not boss me around or be controlling. Thank you for anyone who reads and responds!

  2. #2
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by BambinoPants View Post
    Attachment 20215

    Ok, my family and I are getting ready to go on a big trip to Cancun. Oh and with family too! I wear 24/7 so, I'll be wearing there and back. The only time I won't be is if I'm in the pool or on the beach.

    This is how I leave my diapers, plus I have several bags of over stock in my room. We're going to ask our nephew and his girl friend to watch our house so they'll have a key and can come and go. We have a dog too. This issue came up where my wife said pack up all your diapers and hide them. I'm tired of her making me feel weird! I don't want to and I don't see what the big issue is. So, my question is should I or am I being disrespectful of not doing that? If they snoop they're going to find them anyhow. Hard to hide 6 cases of Bambinos? I feel she has the issue not me. The other family members never say anything. I really feel this is my wife's issues and she should not boss me around or be controlling. Thank you for anyone who reads and responds!
    If i were near you, i would hug you. Honestly, leave them out ~ my wife would tell me the same thing and i got angry at her at some point and told her "im an adult and i live on my own! im not going to hide my shit in my OWN house". But before you freak out like I did, make sure she isnt saying it just because shes protecting you, because maybe she doesn't care, but she thinks you might. You never know :P

    But if its your wife being all sensitive on the topic, i would just leave them out and explain that you're tired of feeling like you're some dungeon creature who needs to be hidden.

  3. #3

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    Awe.... Thank you! I would take your hug! I agree with you, I'm planning on leaving it out I value people's other perspectives because I know my views are not always right. I know it's not a protective thing but good point. It's more her issue. She has hounded me about it for 21 years. Ya, I told her about them with in one month of dating and she started staying the night. I told her out of respect so she could make the choice if she could accept it, not spending 21 years of trying to change me or making me feel weird. Hiding them makes me feel weird. I'm tired of the mental abuse and finally standing up for myself but its not easy! Thank you!

  4. #4

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    If I were you I would hide them. You don't have to lock them in a steel vault or anything -- as you say, if people go snooping they'll find them one way or another and have only themselves to blame. But diapers are a private thing, and people don't want to know you wear diapers or have the image in their head of you wearing them. Not because it's shameful, just because it's private.

    Would you leave sexy underwear sitting out? If you were incontinent and used catheters or colostomy bags would you leave those sitting out? Similar story. At least put them away in a drawer.

  5. #5

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    This seems like a pretty small thing that could get more unpleasant. Have you spoken with your wife about this in a non-confrontational way? I think if I were in your position, I'd explain that while it didn't bother me, I'd deal with it if she considered it a real concern. You can make this about you and your level of comfort with yourself but it's not just you. Listening to your partner's concerns and being able to compromise is a pretty big deal in relationships and I don't think that it should cost so much to make a reasonable effort at making her happy on this.

    I'd be right there with you if it was about getting rid of a stash or her thinking you were a degenerate or weak or whatever but this is just household maintenance. Explain how you feel, listen to how she feels and make the best call.

  6. #6

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    @ avery....I don't wear sexy underwear. My diapers are my underwear. My room is private. My wife leaves her underwear laying around and they will be in the laundry basket on top of the dryer and I won't get to them before we leave I don't control her and tell her what to do. I'm emptying the garbages before we go. I'll make sure the whole house is clean and smells good. They'll be in the garbage when our family member takes our cans to the curb. It's not like I'm leaving them sitting in the living room or anything like that. I just don't understand what the issue is. Why are they private? I'm not flaunting it. When a person has a baby they have diapers left in cars, all over the house, everywhere because they need to be changed more often unlike underwear. So it's nice to have them more readily available. I think that mind set is there private puts a taboo on it. If I hide it that shows I'm hiding something and I'm shameful of it. I'm tired of feeling that way or being made to feel that way. If they don't want to see it they obviously will keep our door shut or not stare in there.

    - - - Updated - - -

    @trevor....I hear what your saying and respect and appreciate you taking the time to read and reply. Your response is getting me to see both sides. Which I agree and relationships are a compromise. Yes how big of an issue do I want to make it to where it uncomfortable. I'm really tired of her controlling me in that way. In public I understand and I'm respectful and do what she says. This is my home and I'm tired of her making me feel weird about it......that's the big point and sometimes I feel a person needs to stand up for themselves. I don't know I'm torn. It's the principle.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by BambinoPants View Post
    @trevor....I hear what your saying and respect and appreciate you taking the time to read and reply. Your response is getting me to see both sides. Which I agree and relationships are a compromise. Yes how big of an issue do I want to make it to where it uncomfortable. I'm really tired of her controlling me in that way. In public I understand and I'm respectful and do what she says. This is my home and I'm tired of her making me feel weird about it......that's the big point and sometimes I feel a person needs to stand up for themselves. I don't know I'm torn. It's the principle.
    "Controlling" is a red flag for me. My response assumes you two have a pretty healthy relationship overall and regarding this in particular. Just to come clean on my own bias (I was a bit pressed for time this morning when I first replied) I keep my stuff out of any public view, although when the annual unit inspection occurs, there's really nothing more to do than have stuff in the closet and close the doors. If they choose to snoop, it's on them. Then again, they're not my relatives and in such a situation, I'd make an effort to conceal or remove them for that period if possible. I don't wear 24/7 and it's pretty heavily tied in with my sexual enjoyment so our outlooks likely vary on that score.

    Is your relationship such that you could explain in a non-confrontation way why this is a bigger thing for you than it might appear? From what you're saying, it sounds like how she deals with it the rest of the time is wearing on you and that this might not be a concern if it was a single point of making you feel like it's not a good thing. I really wouldn't see this in isolation as being worth going to the mat over but if it's part of something bigger, maybe you need a broader conversation. Good luck with whatever you choose.

  8. #8

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    When our daughter and family come to stay with us, or our son and fiance, they stay in the spare bedroom, which is where I keep all of my diapers and stuff. It's a place I go to change, and have some private time if I want it. Since they are my children and don't know that their father is AB/DL, I always put my stuff into garbage bags and stow them in the laundry room until they leave.

    I hate having to do that, both because of the work and bother, and it changes my "special space", but I do it because I have no intention of their discovering my strange addiction, so to speak.

    Your situation is somewhat different. They aren't staying in your bedroom, and really, they shouldn't enter there. You simply have to decide that should they go in there, maybe chasing after the dog, would you want them to discover your secret?

    Since you seem to have a very accepting wife, something that is rare, I would also consider her and her concerns. You've had this healthy partnership, both of you finding a place that works. You don't want to damage that. Accepting partners are worth their weight in gold. Maybe more.

  9. #9

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    If it were me, I would just hide them, is it really going to kill you to do it? You're lucky enough to have a wife that is accepting of it, if hiding them makes her more comfortable I'd comply.

    -Gus

  10. #10

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    It's perfectly reasonable to ask you to hide them away. She would rather these people didn't know that one or both of you wears diapers. Remember that this fetish/interest is unusual. People can react an all kinds of strange ways.

    Move them somewhere else. That's the normal, acceptable and reasonable thing to do.

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