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Thread: I just can't stand it anymore

  1. #1

    Default I just can't stand it anymore

    I've been trying to be positive on this forum but it is so hard when you stare into your future and think "If I didn't have this diaper fetish, I wouldn't be so depressed." I know I can't get rid of it. I've tried. But I hate it nonetheless.

    I enjoy the pleasure it brings me but I hate how it means I will probably never ever be able to find a woman and get married and have a family. No woman wants anything to do with ABDL unless they want to be the one in diapers.

    What kind of absurdity made the existence of this fetish possible?
    Why must I be cursed with an inability to become aroused to anything but ABDL?
    WHY WHY WHY WHY????????

    I wish I believed in God at these times, if I did then at least I'd have someone to blame.

    EDIT: I SEE a psychiatrist. My depression has not yet been dealt with enough to even go into that yet. But I DOOOOOOOOOOO SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAA SHRINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, Okay???????

  2. #2
    Foxyboy

    Default

    I think the best answer to your questions will be better answered by a psychiatrist.

    I wear 24/7 for need, so I can't answer your questions.

  3. #3

  4. #4

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    I know this probably isn't that encouraging, but I'm going to try my very best.

    The big point I want to say is, there are women out there who will be understanding and yet not want to be in the diapers. How do I know? My significant other is one, and I've personally met more then just her. I know other people on this very forum who have wives who try to be understanding. Sometimes wives who want to be understanding join here looking for guidance. I know they are out there, they just aren't the sort of people you often find in these sorts of places. It's not really something you wear, the I would be willing to date someone interested in AB/DL badge. It's just something that happens, there are all types of women out there and some just have that ability .

    The thing to remember I think is that there are people out there of all shapes, sizes, walks of life and all manner of strange thoughts. So I think there are women out there who will understand you, and you've just been unlucky so far... which is unfortunately common. Still there are tons of the women out there who have something strange that they feel they can't share either. Tons of ladies out there crying out in frustration that they will never find a man who understands them either. This world is full of so many unique people, yet in the end we aren't all that different either... you know? I know there is someone out there for everyone, it's pretty much statistically impossible there isn't. I know the days and nights alone can be hard, I've experienced them too.. but there is an end to the them. I feel like you just have to be strong and try to find comfort in the little things. Try to find some happiness within, and learn to love who you are.

    This is just how I feel. I know it's easier said then done but it's important not to quit. It's important to try to find peace of mind in every moment, and try to find that strength and patience within. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now, and I really hope they get better soon.

    As a final thought, I figure most of the women who are interested in the being in diapers part of the AB/DL culture would be willing to you know.. take turns. One time she's in diapers and the next you are, or perhaps both at the same time. Or are you just not interested at all in that type of thing? It's alright if you aren't, not everyone is. I'm just trying to find something that might help you out, even just a little.

  5. #5

    Default

    ^ Thanks. Those are good suggestions but I've only met one ABDL person in real life, she's way younger than me, and obsessed with technology and stupid memes

    QUOTE: The big point I want to say is, there are women out there who will be understanding and yet not want to be in the diapers. How do I know?


    You misunderstood, I think. I'm the one who wants to be in diapers. That's the problem. I would want to be mommied a little during sex/role play. I'm perfectly willing to be "daddy" too, and that also is pleasurable for me, but not as much as when I'm the one in diapers. BUT WHERE THE HELL DO I MEET THIS HYPOTHETICAL WOMAN???????

    I keep trying to tell myself exactly what you said, that there are people out there who are open minded, who if they love me will accommodate it, with compromise. But I just don't believe it no matter how many times I practice saying it with a &^*%&^% SMILE on my %^%&*%$ face.

    What's the point of this though? I can't even talk to a woman. I am so pathetic. I really wish I could just burn the ABDL out of me like with a butane lighter and just watching it shrivel and shrink and be NORMAL. (Don't start arguing with me about my use of that word, I'm pissed off enough as it is). I wish I could take it and fold it up and throw it into a fire. I wish I could spit on it and turn my back and walk away.

    I just came from one of those Fetlife Munches. Didn't meet ANY ABDLs there. Munches are "vanilla" (I hate that word, I hate labeling) and non-fetish centered. SO I got depressed on my way home even thought going to ANY kind of social event was a huge step for me. I even had fun there, I met some cool people, but it wasn't getting me any closer to being in a relationship.

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    The thing is, that makes me different from most men even on this forum, is I can ONLY get aroused to diapers and ABDL stuff. Most men can get aroused to a fetish object as well as women's natural stimulae. I don't understand why I have to be different, why I can't just pass like a lot of other ABDL guys. Those guys, most guys, are able to date, get married, and then the diapers get brought up. For me it would be a lot sooner. ANd the relationship would be OVER as soon as the words "diaper" and "adult baby" are mentioned.

  6. #6

    Default

    Sorry for misunderstanding possibly. Though to be honest I think you misunderstood me, I was implying that you would be in the one in diapers. I blame my poor writing though, I was saying that I know there are women who would be willing to understand your needs for AB/DL interests and not be interested in wearing diapers themselves. They do exist.

    I know it can be hard to keep believing in something when you have bad experiences. It's hard for me to say you just have to keep trying and to not assume the worst, not worry every relationship will be over before it even starts, because at times it can be really rough. I'm really rooting for you though, and I'm sure you have some great friends in your life who are rooting for you too. You aren't wrong or bad for having the fetish you have. Just remember every relationship is all about give and take.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post

    QUOTE: The big point I want to say is, there are women out there who will be understanding and yet not want to be in the diapers. How do I know?


    You misunderstood, I think. I'm the one who wants to be in diapers. That's the problem. I would want to be mommied a little during sex/role play. I'm perfectly willing to be "daddy" too, and that also is pleasurable for me, but not as much as when I'm the one in diapers. BUT WHERE THE HELL DO I MEET THIS HYPOTHETICAL WOMAN???????
    It's going to be hard to be in any kind of relationship that isn't fair. It seems you just want what you want, and only want your own needs met. That's not how it would work. If you meet a girl who is into ABDL, you would both want to spend 50/50 time sharing the ABDL experience. However that works out for you--- generally, you would assume, if you met a female AB, you want likely want to split it up 50/50.

    Just like most relationship things, you want to compromise. If you're looking for a woman who will love to nurture and mommy you 99% of the time and only rarely wear diapers when you have the urge to daddy, that's just not going to happen. In relationships, you will not get every single thing you want. That's not how relationships work. Most caregivers in this community are ABs themselves, so if you date another AB, that's something you will compromise on. Every relationship has different compromises, though. In my own, I am in a big caregiving phase, and it's just what I prefer these days, so it ends up working out to maybe 75% I caretake 25% I am a little. But I know that if I am going through a stressful time or my brain just decides we want to be little more often, my boyfriend is okay with this, and would be more than happy to split it 50/50 fair and even.

    So... yes, if you are looking for impossible standards... like a relationship where you get your way everyday... then you're right, that's not going to happen. Get a more realistic view of relationships.

  8. #8

    Default

    Have you looked into fallacies of logic? Linear thinking, "If - The", may lead to false conclusions. "If I didn't have this diaper fetish, I wouldn't be so depressed" is a good example. Continually telling yourself that you are depressed because of your diaper fetish make you more depressed. The "If - Then" relationship here is unproven, unprovable, and depressing. Can you list how diapers bring pleasure and happiness into your life instead?

    Arrousal is all a mental game; the mind must signal to constrict blood flow to be erect. In my mind, I am waiting until marriage and will only marry the one perfect for me. Therefore, no woman has arroused me. I know that once I am married, the excitement will be there. What thoughts are in your mind blocking the arousal?

    I am amazed at how many new depressing statements you are able to make within each new thread. Can you look past the negative to find something positive to hold? When I focus on negatives, I am depressed; focus on positives yields a better mood.

  9. #9

    Default

    Rage deflated. depression at bay. i feel like an idiot.

    Sorry guys

    Happy happy joy joy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    It's going to be hard to be in any kind of relationship that isn't fair. It seems you just want what you want, and only want your own needs met. That's not how it would work. If you meet a girl who is into ABDL, you would both want to spend 50/50 time sharing the ABDL experience. However that works out for you--- generally, you would assume, if you met a female AB, you want likely want to split it up 50/50.

    Just like most relationship things, you want to compromise. If you're looking for a woman who will love to nurture and mommy you 99% of the time and only rarely wear diapers when you have the urge to daddy, that's just not going to happen. In relationships, you will not get every single thing you want. That's not how relationships work. Most caregivers in this community are ABs themselves, so if you date another AB, that's something you will compromise on. Every relationship has different compromises, though. In my own, I am in a big caregiving phase, and it's just what I prefer these days, so it ends up working out to maybe 75% I caretake 25% I am a little. But I know that if I am going through a stressful time or my brain just decides we want to be little more often, my boyfriend is okay with this, and would be more than happy to split it 50/50 fair and even.

    So... yes, if you are looking for impossible standards... like a relationship where you get your way everyday... then you're right, that's not going to happen. Get a more realistic view of relationships.

    You have COMPLETELY misunderstood me. Those impossible standards you're talking about are not what I am looking for. The situation you ARE describing IS what I am looking for. I have posted several threads about realistic relationship expectations and I specifically discuss the above. I am not someone who thinks that way, I think you read into what I said wrong. I never said I wanted a "Mommy" to diaper me 99% of the time. I have a life. I have novels to finish, stories to submit. Jesus, I am not as stupid as you think I am.

    I'm not even interested in meeting an ABDL girl necessarily. I just want to meet someone who loves me and is willing to engage in some diaper play... not someone who wouldn't expect me to reciprocate... anyway this is getting kind of off topic, but... I think you minunderstood my post.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz View Post
    Sorry for misunderstanding possibly. Though to be honest I think you misunderstood me, I was implying that you would be in the one in diapers. I blame my poor writing though, I was saying that I know there are women who would be willing to understand your needs for AB/DL interests and not be interested in wearing diapers themselves. They do exist.

    I know it can be hard to keep believing in something when you have bad experiences. It's hard for me to say you just have to keep trying and to not assume the worst, not worry every relationship will be over before it even starts, because at times it can be really rough. I'm really rooting for you though, and I'm sure you have some great friends in your life who are rooting for you too. You aren't wrong or bad for having the fetish you have. Just remember every relationship is all about give and take.
    Thanks. Yeah, belief doesn't come easily to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremiah View Post
    Have you looked into fallacies of logic? Linear thinking, "If - The", may lead to false conclusions. "If I didn't have this diaper fetish, I wouldn't be so depressed" is a good example. Continually telling yourself that you are depressed because of your diaper fetish make you more depressed. The "If - Then" relationship here is unproven, unprovable, and depressing. Can you list how diapers bring pleasure and happiness into your life instead?

    Arrousal is all a mental game; the mind must signal to constrict blood flow to be erect. In my mind, I am waiting until marriage and will only marry the one perfect for me. Therefore, no woman has arroused me. I know that once I am married, the excitement will be there. What thoughts are in your mind blocking the arousal?

    I am amazed at how many new depressing statements you are able to make within each new thread. Can you look past the negative to find something positive to hold? When I focus on negatives, I am depressed; focus on positives yields a better mood.

    I'd be the first to admit in that sense I'm not thinking rationally.
    I disagree with you on arousal though. I have tried those techniques and they have not worked.
    I have trouble thinking of anything positively. I always have.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    I'm not even interested in meeting an ABDL girl necessarily. I just want to meet someone who loves me and is willing to engage in some diaper play...
    My apologies if I misunderstood. I thought you said you wanted a girl who loved you in diapers but wouldn't ever wear them herself. Usually this type of person who loves diapers is a DL and that usually entails wearing herself. However, Gigglez pointed out that many ABDLs find success with what we would call 'vanilla' people or at least people whose fetishes aren't actually with diapers. She is right. I think quite a few members here have successful relationships with their non-ABDL partners and those partners are willing to engage in ABDL play at times.

    I am sorry that you feel bad right now. A lot of times people say that I give advice too much and don't say 'that sucks' enough. If this is the case with you, then I want to say, I know you are sad, and I know it sucks. This is a good place to vent.

    I do care. I'm sticking around the forums (leaving activity feed up) while working on homework, because I care. It's quiet this time of night and you are very upset right now, and I wanted there to be a person to talk to if you wanted. I don't want you to hurt. I hope that helps in any way at all, to know that other people in the world do care about your happiness and well being. Maybe you are so sad right now that it won't help and I'm sorry. But I am keeping the forum up until I go to bed (I'm a night owl usually) so just know when you're venting someone will be reading. You're not alone. I think you frustrate me because I used to be very similar to you, and it's like seeing past-me, and I want to tell you it will all be okay, but you are the one who has to make it all okay, and that's really hard. Just keep on going on, is all I have to say, I know you're sad, but keep on breathing, and you might make it out of this dark place one day, too.

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