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Thread: The Future of ABDL in broader society

  1. #1

    Default The Future of ABDL in broader society

    So much has changed since the "DPF Era" in the nineties. The online ABDL community is much more formalized and together, I feel, since then. I hope this is just the start of a greater degree of social acceptance, like what happened to BDSM in recent years. I think this happened because the BDSM community is very strong, but it looks to me like sites like Adisc are bringing people together in ways that the old sites like DPF could not.

    I am loathe to praise social networking, being the obstinate "Real Life or Nothing, screw this virtual society crap, I don't want to live my life in a holodeck" dinosaur that I am*, but I still wonder what the next 10 years or so will bring in terms of ABDL social acceptance?

    *SOMEWHAT OFF TOPIC: I'm not anti-tech by the way, just not big on very young minds being warped by all the crap on the internet before they've developed more mature cognitive faculties. There are aspects of appropriate socialization that you can't learn on facebook. People used to say the new babysitter was the TV but now it's the computer and in many ways that's even worse. I like technology when it's feeding, clothing, sheltering and educating people, in general making their lives better, but not when it's running our social lives. I think that's why meeting someone in real life is so important to me.

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm sounded pesimistic but I don't ever felt that ABDL would one day become more of a broader acceptence. I do admit that as 00 generations I never feel the early eras such as 90s. I could see your points by BDSM acceptence. I mean it's become kinda usual things in TVs or Video Game (Saints Row ). But that doesn't mean that people would tell their mates that they were into BDSM. And somehow ABDLs were stigmatized to much much bad connotations. It's just one of specific lifestyle which we are done in private. But I like to see myself if I were wrong and thanks for Bartolome for bring this up

  3. #3

    Default

    I can see it happening, not as quickly or as broadly though as BDSM.

    A lot of sex therapists consider it totally normal and healthy and claim it's more common than is realiized. I can see how that could be true, the way that online communities skew demographics. I'm sure there's lots of people with "latent ABDL" feelings who for one reason or another have not explored them to the extent that people have on this site, for example.

  4. #4

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    Well I surely can't wait for the future and sees it. I just really hope that ABDL stigma is reduced. But I wonder if mainstream media will one day potray ABDL in trully honest matter (which to be honest I sees it very bias)

  5. #5
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    I retain the belief that the less we treat it like something we have to hide, the more accepted it will become ~ I've noticed that the majority of the BDSM community is very open and proud of what they are, while for the ABDL community its very opposite; a majority of this community is full of shame or guilt or feel like they're "freaks". Why is it that BDSM people aren't afraid to say "I like getting spanked while wearing nipple clamps under a leather suit!" but we cant stand up and say "i like to wear diapers and dress as a baby from time to time."

    I've noticed in my experience from telling EVERYONE i know ~ Every person i told with the "awkward ~ you're gonna think im weird" attitude; responded in a very silent and somewhat shocked response... but the people who I told in confidence and pride saying things how they are and being very happy about them, all responded either with great interest in learning more or with complete acceptance or understanding.

    People often forget that our body language and mood can effect the outcome of a situation ~ the day "Binge and Purge" cycles stop becoming a "normal, common thing", will be the day that ABDL's increase in their sense of pride and lose their feelings of guilt and shame ~ and in turn will result in a broader acceptance or understanding from society.

    I wear diapers in public all the time under my jeans or dress or skirt; and its not difficult to hear at all, I've even had friends ask me "what are you wearing under there?" with the intention of not being too straight forward, and i just come out and say how I felt like wearing a diaper. People react in surprising ways to how you treat a subject. Why do you think people find it more offensive when a person hesitates to say "black people" or when they force themsleves to say "african american" instead of just speaking in calm and basic english? lol

    Side-Note: This community needs to stop putting so much importance on the possible ignorance or disagreement of friends or relationships that dont matter if they can't accept you for something as innocent and silly as ABDL. I dont understand it when people say "i dont want to lose them."... I don't understand how you can be afraid of losing someone who doesn't even know the real you.

    Anyway, back to the post ~ aside from what i believe would be the ultimate solution to our recognition and acceptance issue, I gotta admit that the media isnt helping in the slighest. Every time they portray an ABDL its always under a dim light. And let's be honest with eachother, the biggest issue with ABDL is not the wearing childish clothes or drinking from bottles or using pacifiers... these things are spread far among people of all kinds.... the real issue people have with abdl's is the usage of diapers; and if you take the moment to think long and hard about it... you'll see that its true.. People who are not abdl use pacifiers or baby bottles (some girls find it cute or just as a nostalgic effect), and Footed PJs and overalls/shortalls are very popular in the adult world. However, diapers are still diapers in every sense of the word, but it all goes back to what I said about owning your kink. I spoke about my abdl lifestyle with someone who I had only met one other time (we were talking about her relationship so i felt like I needed to contribute something personal), and i was SHOCKED to see that despite me using the word diapers frequently, and even showing her my collection of diapers, she was far more intrigued about what other kinks I had as well as how I engaged in play.. the diapers themselves were literally a non-issue thing.

    It would surprise a lot of closetted abdls to see just how accepting the world can be ~ its just that when we watch tv and live on the internet and are forcefed the constant stream of ignorance and hatred, we are made to believe that the world is an unnaccepting place; but its worth remembering that intelligent and open minded individuals are usually not very vocal, while people who are ignorant and preach hate love to hear the sound of their own voice; this causes the world to look as though there are nothing but hateful, ignorant people - and its not so. I'm not the luckiest person in the world (by far), and out of the 50 or 60 people i know , who know i'm an abdl, only maybe 1 or 2 have any misunderstanding of it.. thats not to say they dont accept me, they just have the wrong idea of what it means to be ABDL, but each and every person who i've told or who has found out from someone else (in my town word spreads like wildfire so a secret is no longer a secret after a week) has either accepted it, shown interest in learning more, or even respects me more than most people for having the confidence to own my kink the way I do. Life is scary, but we can't spend the rest of our existence hiding from it if we want to be part of normality

    Sorry for making this so long, I ramble sometimes >_<

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post
    I retain the belief that the less we treat it like something we have to hide, the more accepted it will become ~ I've noticed that the majority of the BDSM community is very open and proud of what they are, while for the ABDL community its very opposite; a majority of this community is full of shame or guilt or feel like they're "freaks". Why is it that BDSM people aren't afraid to say "I like getting spanked while wearing nipple clamps under a leather suit!" but we cant stand up and say "i like to wear diapers and dress as a baby from time to time."

    I've noticed in my experience from telling EVERYONE i know ~ Every person i told with the "awkward ~ you're gonna think im weird" attitude; responded in a very silent and somewhat shocked response... but the people who I told in confidence and pride saying things how they are and being very happy about them, all responded either with great interest in learning more or with complete acceptance or understanding.

    People often forget that our body language and mood can effect the outcome of a situation ~ the day "Binge and Purge" cycles stop becoming a "normal, common thing", will be the day that ABDL's increase in their sense of pride and lose their feelings of guilt and shame ~ and in turn will result in a broader acceptance or understanding from society.

    I wear diapers in public all the time under my jeans or dress or skirt; and its not difficult to hear at all, I've even had friends ask me "what are you wearing under there?" with the intention of not being too straight forward, and i just come out and say how I felt like wearing a diaper. People react in surprising ways to how you treat a subject. Why do you think people find it more offensive when a person hesitates to say "black people" or when they force themsleves to say "african american" instead of just speaking in calm and basic english? lol

    Side-Note: This community needs to stop putting so much importance on the possible ignorance or disagreement of friends or relationships that dont matter if they can't accept you for something as innocent and silly as ABDL. I dont understand it when people say "i dont want to lose them."... I don't understand how you can be afraid of losing someone who doesn't even know the real you.

    Anyway, back to the post ~ aside from what i believe would be the ultimate solution to our recognition and acceptance issue, I gotta admit that the media isnt helping in the slighest. Every time they portray an ABDL its always under a dim light. And let's be honest with eachother, the biggest issue with ABDL is not the wearing childish clothes or drinking from bottles or using pacifiers... these things are spread far among people of all kinds.... the real issue people have with abdl's is the usage of diapers; and if you take the moment to think long and hard about it... you'll see that its true.. People who are not abdl use pacifiers or baby bottles (some girls find it cute or just as a nostalgic effect), and Footed PJs and overalls/shortalls are very popular in the adult world. However, diapers are still diapers in every sense of the word, but it all goes back to what I said about owning your kink. I spoke about my abdl lifestyle with someone who I had only met one other time (we were talking about her relationship so i felt like I needed to contribute something personal), and i was SHOCKED to see that despite me using the word diapers frequently, and even showing her my collection of diapers, she was far more intrigued about what other kinks I had as well as how I engaged in play.. the diapers themselves were literally a non-issue thing.

    It would surprise a lot of closetted abdls to see just how accepting the world can be ~ its just that when we watch tv and live on the internet and are forcefed the constant stream of ignorance and hatred, we are made to believe that the world is an unnaccepting place; but its worth remembering that intelligent and open minded individuals are usually not very vocal, while people who are ignorant and preach hate love to hear the sound of their own voice; this causes the world to look as though there are nothing but hateful, ignorant people - and its not so. I'm not the luckiest person in the world (by far), and out of the 50 or 60 people i know , who know i'm an abdl, only maybe 1 or 2 have any misunderstanding of it.. thats not to say they dont accept me, they just have the wrong idea of what it means to be ABDL, but each and every person who i've told or who has found out from someone else (in my town word spreads like wildfire so a secret is no longer a secret after a week) has either accepted it, shown interest in learning more, or even respects me more than most people for having the confidence to own my kink the way I do. Life is scary, but we can't spend the rest of our existence hiding from it if we want to be part of normality

    Sorry for making this so long, I ramble sometimes >_<
    Well I for one appreciated this particular ramble. I agree with you, Emily. ESPECIALLY about the guilt and shame because that's something I struggle with myself.

    I'm out to my family and most of my friends who I really trust, but not to the public at large, if you know what I mean, and like you I frequently wear diapers when I'm out.

    I think it's a normal and healthy sexuality/orientation/lifestyle that can be isolating at times. That being said, I wouldn't want it to freak out my great aunt and uncle who are like my grandparents (my dad was an orphan) by making my diapers obvious and drinking from sippy cups at thanksgiving. That would be awkward and disruptive, IMO. I mean, my parents know, but I hide it if someone's over at the apartment.

    On the other hand I'm not about to walk down the street advertising it, but that's because I tend to be kind of anti-exhibitionist anyway; it's the flipside of not liking voyeurism much either and it's part of my personality that there are things that are private.

    And having once been forcibly (fortunately no one believed, they all thought it was a joke and those that knew just felt sorry for me) that probably informs my opinion. (My crazy ex instigated hackers to make my facebook profile all about diapers)

    BUT I commend anyone who's willing to express it non-anonymously to the world.

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    On the other hand I'm not about to walk down the street advertising it, but that's because I tend to be kind of anti-exhibitionist anyway; it's part of my personality that there are things that are private.
    This i can understand; I call it the "dark side" of ABDL expression when people just go out in public with an "obvious" diaper. and by obvious i mean that its either wet or stinky or very visible or sometimes just the only thing being worn. While i do agree that they are free to do this, I also think it gives as bad an image to us as how a person running through the mall naked would have on basic humanity. Blatant nudism is crazy to basic humanity as Blatant diaper showing is crazy to basic ABDLs hehehe

    I will admit though... I'm kind of an exhibitionist *blush* lol. I mean i wont advertise my diaper, but i wont go to "great lengths" to hide it either xD I find that it excites me (not in a sexual way but) in a very childish way. Babies and toddlers don't constantly worry about whether or not their diaper is showing, and therefor neither do i LOL this is of course only my personal opinion.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post

    I will admit though... I'm kind of an exhibitionist *blush* lol. I mean i wont advertise my diaper, but i wont go to "great lengths" to hide it either xD I find that it excites me (not in a sexual way but) in a very childish way. Babies and toddlers don't constantly worry about whether or not their diaper is showing, and therefor neither do i LOL this is of course only my personal opinion.
    Well I'm a lot like that too but I guess I don't consider it exhibitionism; I've. it's situational, though. There's a time for it (just hanging around the neighborhood) and obviously a time for discretion or abstinence (a job interview).

    I hope that someday we are accepted in a broader light but like you pointed out, we first have to accept ourselves.
    Last edited by Bartolome; 24-Jan-2014 at 18:03.

  9. #9

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duper View Post
    I apologize for my ignorance, but what is/was the "DPF era?"
    Back in the 90s there was pretty much only one website for ABDLs and it was called Diaper Pail Friends. DPF for sure.

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