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Thread: temporarily essentially incontinent…looking for advice.

  1. #1

    Default temporarily essentially incontinent…looking for advice.

    I'm 18, female, and had a UTI that developed into a kidney infection. I've begun to wet the bed, which I'm told is probably temporary, and I've been having so many issues with urgency (every 10-15 minutes) that my super-super-sweet boyfriend suggested I just wear protection so we don't have to worry about being close to a bathroom. This also helps because in addition to urgency issues, I've been having stress-related wetting issues. I've been wearing beginning today (just stayed home) and it's been fine.

    I was uncomfortable with the idea of adult diapers, and my illness made me indulge in a little regression my boyfriend and I have been enjoying as a sort of family, so I wear Goodnites L/XL instead of adult diapers. They actually fit really well, considering i'm 5'8'' and 120-125 (remember I'm a female, so no dangly bits to position) and I'm pleased with them, but they only hold one-two wettings before I'm worried that if I wet again, they'll leak.

    I'm worried about going about my life for a little while, while I still need these, and need some advice.
    • I've never worn in front of people before. I'll only be around my boyfriend and our best friend, who know, but other people on and off may come and go and I'm concerned. I don't own any skirts that fit right now, because I've just recovered from anorexia (!!!). So I mostly own leggings and high-waisted jeggings / pants with buttons and zippers, but no real jeans or skirts which could hide the goodnite. It's fairly flat when it's dry, but it swells when it's wet. Any ideas? Would wearing underwear over them help to compress them? Would that interfere with absorbency and squeeze out leaks, though?
    • How often will I have to change? I know everyone's different, but I don't know how many to bring out with me every day, and i'd be really happy to get a ballpark figure so I don't have to carry the entire package around.
    • How do I excuse myself to change my goodnite without embarrassing myself if both my boyfriend and best friend know I'm wearing and therefore won't be using the restroom? "I need a change" is something that would excite me a little if my boyfriend said it, but mortify me if I dared utter it.
    • Will baby powder help with this terrible uncomfortable 'dampness'?

  2. #2

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    Question one: yes. That will absolutely help. Question two: everyone is different. Used today to monitor yourself. And the weekend as well. Question three: do you typically tell people what you're going to do in the bathroom? Question four: yes, it could help.

  3. #3

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    in regards to number 3…if i say "hey guys be right back I'm gonna go to the bathroom", when they know I'm wearing and using, they're going to know what I'm doing, you know?

  4. #4

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    First of all, good job finding this forum, we know A LOT about diapers, bedwetting, incontinence, UTI etc. I am in a very similiar situation with possibly having UTI actually caused by night time wetting. I do have chronic nocturnal enuresis due to a back injury and wear diapers to bed, but now with this possible UTI also daytime.

    1. I think that goodnites are fairly thin diapers, so I wouldn't worry too much about hiding them. Some loose college pants do work fairly well hiding even a bulkier diaper and it's not far away from anyone's clothing style, since they come in many colors. That's what I use.

    2. You shouldn't be too long in a wet diaper, especially with an UTI and a goodnite diaper, that doesn't really absorb that much. I recommend using a backpack in public, it's trendy and holds a lot of extra diapers. Also, you should consider using more absorbent diaper to bed, since your skin is exposed to a wet diaper the whole night.

    3. This one you should figure out yourself, what ever makes you feel comfortable and discreet. I don't feel ashamed using the phrase "I need a change" since it's the truth

    4. Baby powder and/or zink cream is advised!

    Hope these answers helped you

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by victoria View Post
    in regards to number 3…if i say "hey guys be right back I'm gonna go to the bathroom", when they know I'm wearing and using, they're going to know what I'm doing, you know?
    You forget that you know what they're doing when they go to the bathroom too. LOL. In all seriousness, don't stress yourself out over it. It sounds tough, but enjoy life beyond the diaper. Be mindful of the rate that you leak and change yourself accordingly.
    I wish you the best of luck!!

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by victoria View Post
    Would wearing underwear over them help to compress them? Would that interfere with absorbency and squeeze out leaks, though?
    the volume of liquid has to go somewhere, so compressing them isn't a good idea.
    best idea is to buy new clothes, or modify your old [but still terribly fashionable] ones.



    Quote Originally Posted by victoria View Post
    How often will I have to change? I know everyone's different, but I don't know how many to bring out with me every day, and i'd be really happy to get a ballpark figure so I don't have to carry the entire package around.
    only vaguely helping, here, but whilst out and about, you'll probably need to squirt less often than when hanging about at home. apart from that, you're probably best basing your use on your current use and adjusting accordingly.



    Quote Originally Posted by victoria View Post
    How do I excuse myself to change my goodnite without embarrassing myself if both my boyfriend and best friend know I'm wearing and therefore won't be using the restroom? "I need a change" is something that would excite me a little if my boyfriend said it, but mortify me if I dared utter it.
    just say what you would normally say if tending to your private needs: "i'm going to the ladies", etc. no-one should follow you in such a situation, with such an excuse.
    slightly aside, but with regard to changing in other places, some find that tape-on diapers are better than pull-ups as you don't have to strip your bottom half in a possibly messy or damp cubicle in order to change.



    Quote Originally Posted by victoria View Post
    Will baby powder help with this terrible uncomfortable 'dampness'?
    no experience with powder, but quality diapers or pads should feel less damp than otherwise, though you may need to experiment with styles, sizes and fitting.
    personally, i find that shorts, or going bottomless, ease any discomfort. the wrong time of year, i know.

    good luck with it all.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by incontinentGM24 View Post
    You forget that you know what they're doing when they go to the bathroom too. LOL.
    haha! real smiles help these situations, thank you.

    and thanks to everyone else, too! This has helped me so much, I'm much less lost now.

  8. #8

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    One thing ive found if a leak happens to occur, wearing black pants will not show as easily as other colors. Having urge incontinence is something i can relate to and the black pants have helped me in those times th diapers have leaked. Keep your chin up and stay positive to help with the anxiety.

  9. #9

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    1. All I can tell you is to get some new clothes, but I think you should be fine I wouldn't put on anything to compress it when it's wet, nothing horrible will happen but you mention later you have an uncomfortable dampness feeling squeezing them with underwear would make that worse.

    2. That's up to you and it would be difficult to decide because of your infection. The most I can tell you is that you'll have to go more than usual because of the infection, how often you need to be changed depends on how much you've dribbled (light wetting) beforehand, but my rule of thumb for goodnites is they can take one wetting and at two they start to get uncomfortably saggy and the third will leak. A general ballpark as long as you aren't out for longer than 4 hours one goodnite should be fine any longer and you want to bring some extra.

    3. Just say you have to go to the bathroom, this works perfectly if you are in a public restroom just bring your diaper bag (and by that I mean whatever you decide to keep them in probably a backpack) in with you and dispose of the dirty one in the trash. If you are at a friends house bring the bag in with you and discreetly set it next to the bathroom door, when you excuse yourself you can take it in with you and put the dirty one back in the bag preferably in an odor lock garbage bag (believe me that smell is hard to get out). If you're quick no one should notice you took the bag into the bathroom with you and if they somehow do notice you have the luxury of being female so you could use the excuse that you have tampons in there and I'm trying to go in the gutter here that's a legitimately good excuse.

    4. Baby powder is used mostly to prevent rash and help with odor and with most adults it really isn't needed as from my understanding babies get diaper rash because of their sensitive skin. The only suggestion I have for you is to use adult diapers instead of goodnites. The bigger the diaper the more it swells away from your skin as it gets wet and therefore the less you will feel the actual wet part this is especially true with taped diapers but applies to pull ups as well. It's also a good idea to have two kinds of diapers anyway. In your case goodnites work well for you out and about diaper they are absorbent enough and very discreet, but you really need a diaper that holds more and swells away from you more for when you are just laying around the house. No one should be watching you in your house except your bf and you've said he already knew about it so you can go as bulky as your comfortable with and really the bigger the better. Not only will the bigger diaper mean you need changes less, but it also reduces the time spent with the urine in direct contact with your skin as I said earlier it expands away from you for this reason.

    Hope I answered your question and I hope you get well soon.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by chronos51 View Post
    One thing ive found if a leak happens to occur, wearing black pants will not show as easily as other colors. Having urge incontinence is something i can relate to and the black pants have helped me in those times th diapers have leaked. Keep your chin up and stay positive to help with the anxiety.
    This is a great idea! Thank you!

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