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Thread: I wasn't born an AB, were you?

  1. #1

    Default I wasn't born an AB, were you?

    From what I can tell most AB's are born AB's. I don't know if this is true or not. I wasn't born this way, I chose to be an AB/DL and for some reason I don't feel good about it. I guess I am jealous that people have had these urges for as long as they can remember. I don't know why I feel bad about it, maybe I don't feel like a genuine AB. I also have trouble regressing and I think some of it is because I wasn't made this way. I struggle with the desire to have been created an AB and to have had these urges but I wasn't.

    Do you guys think you were born an AB like I have said or was it a choice? And I really could use some support from you y'all since I feel bad about it. I struggle with this a lot. Thanks

    For some background information this is how it all came about. I hope you don't judge, and I'm not the only member of ADISC who got into ABDLism this way. I also apologize for bringing up MDMA use since it is unhelathy, but this is in my past.

    Back in '08 and '09 my best friend, his girlfriend, and I would go clubbing and use MDMA. MDMA is the chemical name for ecstasy. I am no longer involved in this culture but I was for a few years. I had a pacifier for the teeth clenching associated with its use but I also found that the paci helped with the comedown and the depression that was a part of it. I loved the feeling of the paci in my mouth and the guard against my lips even though I tended to bite down on it (it was just a baby paci not a Nuk 5). I was going through some stuff at the time and not making the best decisions obviously and the use of the drug also caused some long term depression for the two years that I used the MDMA. My best friend's girlfriend had a baby blankie and I wanted a blankie too, so I had my Mother make me one for Christmas. I found that the paci and blankie really helped during this time in my life. Then one night I was with a different friend and we got drunk. I passed out on his couch and had an accident. We joked about it in the morning and out of curiosity and just being silly we went and bought some Depends. I wore them and got a sexual thrill from it. I had heard of AB's and DL's and then eventually I was self soothing with my Paci, blankie, a diaper, and then a bottle. Eventually I got a plushie. At first this was all just a sexual fetish but after time I got a lot of comfort out of it even though I have never really successfully regressed.

    So in the end I just chose to wear diapers, I never had urges as a kid nor did I have the desire to be a baby as a kid. I just feel different and I don't feel like a genuine AB. I think if I was "genuine" or born this way that I would have better luck regressing in the first place.

  2. #2

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    You know I was not born an AB/DL either. I loved my little pony before G4 and I love all generations. I had trouble accepting my baby side too. Back before I even tried diapers I slept with a 25'th anniversary pinkie pie plush. I got a lot of comfort out of it and I constantly got laughed at on church youth retreats. When I moved out of my parents house and was going to college for a year I started to watch other cartoons. Then when I had the desire for diapers.

    My desire for diapers was a fetish for a while. I got fed up with it and threw out my diaper stash only to buy more. I soon found this website Adisc. I decided to make this a comfort thing. Your in a perfect place to get support. I found great comfort that there was others like me here. Perhaps not everyone here like to regress just for comfort after a long hard day.

    After I have been here on adisc for a while I felt like I was headed in the wrong direction and I was planning on throwing out all my adult baby stuff. I slowly let things settle down and it was last night that I got in my baby pink side and I actually was comforted. I wrote a blog intree about it if you you would like to take a read.

    Lastly don't feel bad about your past. I was a porn addict when I got out of high school and I was very depressed over it. Now that has been a couple of years ago and I still slip sometimes but I am no longer tempted. I urge you to not let yourself feel guilt about being a Adult baby because you are who you are for a reason. In fact I look forward to getting to know you more.

    Best regards Pebble

  3. #3

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    It's really hard to tell when things are nature or nurture unless you can run twin studies, and not enough research has been done into ABDLism for us to have the data. Also it's hard with things that people would want to keep secret. It'd be very difficult to get a group of people to test. As for people just remembering, you'd have trouble considering childhood amnesia. Most people only get vague memories around age 2 to 3, no recollection of infancy at all, and even still our minds notoriously fudge our own memories and even create false ones that never happened. Usually, though, with false childhood memories, it's based on hearing about an event - like, your parents telling you about your trip to Disneyworld when you were 2, and you feel as though you remember it, but it's often a false memory created by the narration of the story. So my guess is that memories of private things might be way more trustworthy than anything where people retell the story over and over.

    That all being said, you alluded to the idea that genetics would be the only way where it isn't someone's choice. I'm not entirely sure about that, myself. I think environmental things can sway people into irreversible mindsets, too. For example, a lot of gender theory suggests that certain things are not at all genetic, but environmental, however it's deeply ingrained in people. Basically, the current paradigm of nature and nurture suggests a combination of the two. Nurture things (environmental things) can actually change brain chemistry, create neurological connections, etc, that stick with a person. So, environmental things can lead to something that is biological. One example of this is PTSD, whereas certain levels of trauma can physically change a person's amygdala and hippocampus. So they, in layman's terms, sort of overproduce stress hormones. Their brains turn into fear factories. They weren't born that way, but an environmental event caused an actual, lasting biological change.

    So I don't see why it can't be so for AB's. While maybe future twin studies could point to a genetic link (or not) I think what we know about ourselves has proven it's not much of a choice. Most people have immense struggles when trying to stop being AB, and a part of them always longs for whatever things they wanted (i.e. diapers, paci, overalls, teddy). Also, it's a difficult thing to choose. Maybe you chose it, LittlePony, but most people don't. It's for the simple reason that it kind of sucks. We're left hiding away this side of ourselves, worried that anyone might find out, embarrassed, ashamed often, but can't help ourselves to want to regress or have contact with our favorite AB items. When anyone is simultaneously self-loathing and desiring the thing that shames them, I have to think it can't be a choice, whether they were born with this or they weren't. And that's sadly the usual story here. People hate themselves, realize that society mocks them, but can't help their desires. So usually we try to accept ourselves for this and do these activities in moderation.

    My best guess right now for you, LittlePony, is that you could probably actually stop being AB anytime you wanted to, since you say it's a choice. Most people here, going by what I read on the forum, would probably have had this desire for almost as long as they can remember, or at least in childhood. That was the case with me, too. For people like me, I think some kind of tricky event happens environmentally (various ones for various people) and it causes our brains to hard-wire in whatever fetishes or unusual desires (as ABism isn't always sexual) that stick with us for the rest of our lives. So, even if we weren't born with it in our genes, it isn't exactly a choice for the majority of us, in my opinion.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MLPPebble View Post
    You know I was not born an AB/DL either. I loved my little pony before G4 and I love all generations. I had trouble accepting my baby side too. Back before I even tried diapers I slept with a 25'th anniversary pinkie pie plush. I got a lot of comfort out of it and I constantly got laughed at on church youth retreats. When I moved out of my parents house and was going to college for a year I started to watch other cartoons. Then when I had the desire for diapers.

    My desire for diapers was a fetish for a while. I got fed up with it and threw out my diaper stash only to buy more. I soon found this website Adisc. I decided to make this a comfort thing. Your in a perfect place to get support. I found great comfort that there was others like me here. Perhaps not everyone here like to regress just for comfort after a long hard day.

    After I have been here on adisc for a while I felt like I was headed in the wrong direction and I was planning on throwing out all my adult baby stuff. I slowly let things settle down and it was last night that I got in my baby pink side and I actually was comforted. I wrote a blog intree about it if you you would like to take a read.

    Lastly don't feel bad about your past. I was a porn addict when I got out of high school and I was very depressed over it. Now that has been a couple of years ago and I still slip sometimes but I am no longer tempted. I urge you to not let yourself feel guilt about being a Adult baby because you are who you are for a reason. In fact I look forward to getting to know you more.

    Best regards Pebble
    See you're more like other AB's you had a desire to wear diapers for some reason more natural than me, I think. I just had a desire to try diapers for some silly humiliating "hey I just pissed your couch dude, I deserve to have to wear diapers and it's a sexual fetish, so let's do it for shits and giggles since I'm kinky anyways". I don't know why I keep comparing myself to other AB/DL's I guess I just wish I had the desire to wear diapers and be a little one again when I was a kid.

    Honestly maybe I wish I had these urges for a long time so that I could naturally regress instead of having to really try. I am really struggling with this issue.

  5. #5

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    Some say withen every one is a little. It's one of the main reason its so hard to tell if someone is ab or not.

    I've seen people on the forum saying that they where intoduced to ab/dl thriew partneres and or close friends, At first it was just for there partner or just out of curiosity, but then they started to enjoy it and became ab or dl themselves. so it's not really strange IMO, every one becomes ab/dl for differnt reasons, be is life, friends w/e. I'm sure there are allot of people on forum who whernt born ab or dl, just because you arn't born with something dosn't mean you can't pick it up, world would be prity boring place if so XD

    Saying your not a genuine ab is like saying clasica is the only geniune music and the rest are fakes.

    as for not being able to easily regress, many.. many people have that problem. Some ab's can't regress at all. on the forum threads about not being able to regress come up prity often.
    I can't really help you there as I'm not great at that my self, and I was born ab.

    in conclution, you don't have to be born in something to remain in it, or born outside something and remain apart from it. life is full of choices, your choices define you. If you choice to be ab, then you are.

  6. #6

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    Thank you for sharing your story, LittlePony. I'm curious about what "successful regression" means to you. Can you describe the experience you feel you've been missing?

    I consider myself an AB, but I don't do anything I'd identify as regression. When I lie in bed wearing a diaper and a sleeper and sucking on a pacifier, I don't imagine myself as a two-year-old. I imagine myself as a 30-something man dressed as a two-year-old. Which is what I am. (The imagination comes in fantasizing about the reasons I'd be dressed as a two-year-old, other than wanting to.)

    I think it's a really interesting question how young AB-hood and DL-hood can become unchangeable parts of someone's personality. A lot of us have had fantasies about diapers since age 5 or so. (I did.) I doubt that any DLs were "born that way," though, because you have to be around diapers to develop an interest in them. Not every culture uses diapers, after all. But maybe some ABs are "born that way," meaning born with a predisposition to like whatever things are associated with babyhood in their culture.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    It's really hard to tell when things are nature or nurture unless you can run twin studies, and not enough research has been done into ABDLism for us to have the data. Also it's hard with things that people would want to keep secret. It'd be very difficult to get a group of people to test. As for people just remembering, you'd have trouble considering childhood amnesia. Most people only get vague memories around age 2 to 3, no recollection of infancy at all, and even still our minds notoriously fudge our own memories and even create false ones that never happened. Usually, though, with false childhood memories, it's based on hearing about an event - like, your parents telling you about your trip to Disneyworld when you were 2, and you feel as though you remember it, but it's often a false memory created by the narration of the story. So my guess is that memories of private things might be way more trustworthy than anything where people retell the story over and over.

    That all being said, you alluded to the idea that genetics would be the only way where it isn't someone's choice. I'm not entirely sure about that, myself. I think environmental things can sway people into irreversible mindsets, too. For example, a lot of gender theory suggests that certain things are not at all genetic, but environmental, however it's deeply ingrained in people. Basically, the current paradigm of nature and nurture suggests a combination of the two. Nurture things (environmental things) can actually change brain chemistry, create neurological connections, etc, that stick with a person. So, environmental things can lead to something that is biological. One example of this is PTSD, whereas certain levels of trauma can physically change a person's amygdala and hippocampus. So they, in layman's terms, sort of overproduce stress hormones. Their brains turn into fear factories. They weren't born that way, but an environmental event caused an actual, lasting biological change.

    So I don't see why it can't be so for AB's. While maybe future twin studies could point to a genetic link (or not) I think what we know about ourselves has proven it's not much of a choice. Most people have immense struggles when trying to stop being AB, and a part of them always longs for whatever things they wanted (i.e. diapers, paci, overalls, teddy). Also, it's a difficult thing to choose. Maybe you chose it, LittlePony, but most people don't. It's for the simple reason that it kind of sucks. We're left hiding away this side of ourselves, worried that anyone might find out, embarrassed, ashamed often, but can't help ourselves to want to regress or have contact with our favorite AB items. When anyone is simultaneously self-loathing and desiring the thing that shames them, I have to think it can't be a choice, whether they were born with this or they weren't. And that's sadly the usual story here. People hate themselves, realize that society mocks them, but can't help their desires. So usually we try to accept ourselves for this and do these activities in moderation.

    My best guess right now for you, LittlePony, is that you could probably actually stop being AB anytime you wanted to, since you say it's a choice. Most people here, going by what I read on the forum, would probably have had this desire for almost as long as they can remember, or at least in childhood. That was the case with me, too. For people like me, I think some kind of tricky event happens environmentally (various ones for various people) and it causes our brains to hard-wire in whatever fetishes or unusual desires (as ABism isn't always sexual) that stick with us for the rest of our lives. So, even if we weren't born with it in our genes, it isn't exactly a choice for the majority of us, in my opinion.
    See, and I really really wish for some reason that I had always been this way and had these desires as I already stated. I don't know why. I get the feeling that if I stopped then I would want it more and more and eventually go back to it. I think I could live without diapers and a bottle. Even though I can't regress easily or at all, I really find comfort in my cuddly snuggly little side. I love my plushie and can't imagine being without it to go to sleep or when I'm feeling down. And I also have urges to suck on things when I get down or anxiuos. So who knows, maybe I was born this way. Either way I need to stop fretting over it, but I don't know how.



    Quote Originally Posted by buridan View Post
    Thank you for sharing your story, LittlePony. I'm curious about what "successful regression" means to you. Can you describe the experience you feel you've been missing?

    I consider myself an AB, but I don't do anything I'd identify as regression. When I lie in bed wearing a diaper and a sleeper and sucking on a pacifier, I don't imagine myself as a two-year-old. I imagine myself as a 30-something man dressed as a two-year-old. Which is what I am. (The imagination comes in fantasizing about the reasons I'd be dressed as a two-year-old, other than wanting to.)

    I think it's a really interesting question how young AB-hood and DL-hood can become unchangeable parts of someone's personality. A lot of us have had fantasies about diapers since age 5 or so. (I did.) I doubt that any DLs were "born that way," though, because you have to be around diapers to develop an interest in them. Not every culture uses diapers, after all. But maybe some ABs are "born that way," meaning born with a predisposition to like whatever things are associated with babyhood in their culture.
    Um, well maybe I have successfully regressed. I was watching a scary movie and had the urge to get my AB stuff out. Here I was watching this movie, scared, hugging my plushie (Percy) for dear life, putting my face right up against him. I kind of imagined that I was a little kid, maybe 5 or 6 and my silly parents were letting me watch this movie (bad parents lol). I think I did feel little. I think I have also felt little when I have used my bottle while i was really tipsy before I quit drinking. Although when I do feel little I still have some adult thoughts but there are less of them. I try to just focus on the here and now: the feeling of my diaper hugging me, how soft it is with the baby powder, the smell of the powder and the smell of it if it's wet, my paci against my face, etc. Maybe I am asking for too much out of regression. When I feel restless because of my bipolar or I want to relax with alcohol but I can't because I stopped (I used to drink way too much and too often) I really want regression to sedate me and calm my nerves but it doesn't, I still feel the inner restlessness or need to use some chemical to relax me. I really wish that regression was the perfect answer to my problems but it just doesn't get the job done like alcohol did, but it's a hell of a lot more healthy. I just wish it would have the same effect.

  8. #8

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    I don't think I was born this way. I had no desires to wear diapers when I was a child or even be a baby. I was nine when the desires came to me all of a sudden. Right now I am just a DL and my AB desires only come when I am depressed or very very sad. I prefer to wear diapers.

  9. #9

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    My "tendencies" went all the way back to when I was 7 and was put back into diapers at night because I was a chronic bed wetter... While I could'nt help having accidents at night, in the morning I felt so comfy being soaked. It's something i've just become so accustomed to!

    But I never really experienced any inner turmoil as a result of my lifestyle... we are who we are as people, we live the way want and at the end of the day, the only person you need to answer to is yourself. You should be happy that you have the courage to do what you love and follow your dreams... Most people in this world don't have that kind of courage!
    Last edited by FluffyJammies; 13-Dec-2013 at 18:52. Reason: second part disapeered on me.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittlePony View Post
    From what I can tell most AB's are born AB's. I don't know if this is true or not. I wasn't born this way, I chose to be an AB/DL and for some reason I don't feel good about it. I guess I am jealous that people have had these urges for as long as they can remember. I don't know why I feel bad about it, maybe I don't feel like a genuine AB. I also have trouble regressing and I think some of it is because I wasn't made this way. I struggle with the desire to have been created an AB and to have had these urges but I wasn't.

    Do you guys think you were born an AB like I have said or was it a choice? And I really could use some support from you y'all since I feel bad about it. I struggle with this a lot. Thanks

    For some background information this is how it all came about. I hope you don't judge, and I'm not the only member of ADISC who got into ABDLism this way. I also apologize for bringing up MDMA use since it is unhelathy, but this is in my past.

    Back in '08 and '09 my best friend, his girlfriend, and I would go clubbing and use MDMA. MDMA is the chemical name for ecstasy. I am no longer involved in this culture but I was for a few years. I had a pacifier for the teeth clenching associated with its use but I also found that the paci helped with the comedown and the depression that was a part of it. I loved the feeling of the paci in my mouth and the guard against my lips even though I tended to bite down on it (it was just a baby paci not a Nuk 5). I was going through some stuff at the time and not making the best decisions obviously and the use of the drug also caused some long term depression for the two years that I used the MDMA. My best friend's girlfriend had a baby blankie and I wanted a blankie too, so I had my Mother make me one for Christmas. I found that the paci and blankie really helped during this time in my life. Then one night I was with a different friend and we got drunk. I passed out on his couch and had an accident. We joked about it in the morning and out of curiosity and just being silly we went and bought some Depends. I wore them and got a sexual thrill from it. I had heard of AB's and DL's and then eventually I was self soothing with my Paci, blankie, a diaper, and then a bottle. Eventually I got a plushie. At first this was all just a sexual fetish but after time I got a lot of comfort out of it even though I have never really successfully regressed.

    So in the end I just chose to wear diapers, I never had urges as a kid nor did I have the desire to be a baby as a kid. I just feel different and I don't feel like a genuine AB. I think if I was "genuine" or born this way that I would have better luck regressing in the first place.
    we all come to this in our own way some of us were forced some tryed diapers and some never wanted to give baby stuff up.
    You are you never feel your not ok how ever you came into this .
    Some part of you feels better being into AB stuff ok .
    Me I was forced into diapers around 1st or second grade that hooked me I wanted to be a baby .
    Some thing happened when mom pampered me it felt so good.
    So there had to be some thing under the serface in us.
    If every one,s underware were diapers then we would feel normal .

    Being an AB or a DL is normal to us.
    Every one is into some thing to feel ok some eat, spend money, pick on others.
    Drink or drugs.
    Yes I love my baby clothing baby bottles my binky too.
    I sleep with my teddy bear .

    But you know if I do it some one some where is into it to.
    So your are you and you are into stuff like we all are into diapers .
    So welcome to the club so dont be harsh on your self i spend years doing that purge and binge and not feeling ok with my self. I,m me so I,m ok with this now and will be its me. You need to reach that point.
    It wont go away so many have tryed its a part of us.
    So we have one vice and so what .
    Hugs

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