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Thread: Telling my BF

  1. #1
    BabyMoon

    Default Telling my BF

    I don't know how or when I should tell my boy friend about my fetish... I'm afraid he'll dump me, and tell all my friends, when I want him to be changing my diapers and babying me in the near future. He's been chill about some other things i've told him, but we're a farily new couple. I just want to know he'll love me no matter what before I get very emotionally invested with him. I want some who will accept me, no matter what I love and do when no ones around. I still haven't told my parents! (though I have no intention to) Our relashionship is a secret from all of my real life friends and my family. I'm not sure if I can trust him

  2. #2

    Default

    If there are trust issues, I would us restraint. Some girls act youngish, somewhat like a toddler. You could try that, but I wouldn't go beyond that as your first move. The other thing that seems to work is under favorable timing, such as later at night, being intimate, etc. barely hinting at it, like, "sometimes I like to color in a coloring book," or some such age related thing. This tests the waters, seeing his reaction.

    Though we don't like to spin our wheels in a relationship, I think you've expressed wise judgement in going easy on this. The other side of the coin is that if you can't give up wearing diapers and you want to have a meaningful relationship, the subject will have to be discussed.

    The other approach is to be more clinical. That was the approach I used with my wife when she discovered my diaper order. I had my ducks in order, and I waited for the right moment. I explained my past background, part of the history of my childhood and I why I thought I had theses desires and needs. I made it clear that it was something that had always been with me, and that I doubted I could give it up. My wife was very understanding and now supports me in this, buying me things like onsies, plushies, etc., and treating me like a "little" from time to time.

    Good luck.

  3. #3

    Default

    It's hard for people to know when to tell. If you haven't read this article, I'd suggest giving it a look: https://www.adisc.org/forum/content/...g-diapers.html. There's no certain timeline but I don't see how one avoids telling someone they're serious about. I can't see going forward in a relationship where there wasn't at least toleration but I suppose everyone is different in that area.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyMoon View Post
    I don't know how or when I should tell my boy friend about my fetish... I'm afraid he'll dump me, and tell all my friends, when I want him to be changing my diapers and babying me in the near future. He's been chill about some other things i've told him, but we're a farily new couple. I just want to know he'll love me no matter what before I get very emotionally invested with him. I want some who will accept me, no matter what I love and do when no ones around. I still haven't told my parents! (though I have no intention to) Our relashionship is a secret from all of my real life friends and my family. I'm not sure if I can trust him
    In many situations i really want to be able to tell a girl about my little side before i also get emotionally invested. It would be way convienent to be able to do that, but i'm sometimes not sure if i should be going about it that way. Some people are more likely to be accepting of weird things like our little sides if they know us and love us because of a well developed relationship.
    I have gone a bit against that idea because i specifically mention i'm infantilist in my profile on POF.com but i mostly just do that because right now i'm not trying as hard to find somebody, so if i'm going to be in a relationship, i'd rather know that my little side is not a problem anyway.
    For you, you might want to make sure you have built up something that he isn't going to want to loose either.

    How long have you been together? How far allong in your relathionship are you in?

  5. #5

    Default

    Hard question, I guess...

    I mean, most people have some or a lot of experience in this case, but whichever advice someone may give you, and which you would follow in conclusion,... it may be the worst possible thing you could do perhaps.

    To be honest, I'd say: Ask yourself certain things, and then try to be a bit more rational about what you're going to do, instead of trying to reason it down to an emotional level. Although this could still work, as a side note, depending on your and your boyfriends personality.

    Anyway, how much experience do you anyway have with a "coming out" in your relationships? Or perhaps also with other people too?
    That may give you at least a clue about what is the right time to wait until you approach this subject, besides the fact how you approached the one each time. I mean waiting a lot of time can make you feel... like you can't take it anymore and so you may be bursting out with this fact ;). Or on the other hand, you may be very shy in the beginning and perhaps still avoid to mention certain things. As example the AB part of yourself. Talking about the diaper thingy already takes a lot of oourage... and if your SO's reaction is not quite outstanding or at least supporting in a way, you may hold back about your feelings more or less, since it's even harder to talk about this mostly, at least in my experience.

    The only advice I can give you is perhaps trying to... approach this subject in a roundabout way. Cautiously, talking about it someway, like you saw it somewhere, or know a friend (although that might be too typical... hearing from a friend of a friend.... oh ye, me ;)), or that you might want to try something perhaps. Secondly that way you're also going to know about what he likes and dislikes in general.
    Or on the other hand, if he is a more masculine person, perhaps: Getting directly onto the AB... direction. Interpreted like... hitting his protector instinct, if he likes that. Without the diapers in this case, so later mentioning them.

    But trust... that's some difficult I think. Do you really trust him or do you not trust him? Ask this yourself... or too if you could trust him? In a relationship this is really important, if not the most important thing in my honest opinion. If you can't trust someone, how should things work out? And why should your SO trust you on the other hand?
    Though it surely depends on a lot of reasons, if someone misused this trust it's always hard to fix it anyway. And even if you feel like there a things, which you would consider that are shady or in reverse things you would not want to tell someone and hope he/she understands. It's difficult ultimately. Has there been something, since you sound that way, why you do not trust him? If you're only together for a spare time and you feel like you have been misused in a way already... that's hard. The only thing I can say in this case is to talk about it, openly. That is simply all that can fix those unspoken problems and secondly to keep on talking about everything is the key for any relationship.

    But anyway, trust yourself! Working out a plan, and/or thinking about this for some time does surely not hurt. Be sure about what you're going to do, whatever it may be you're going to do. Everyone deserves someone that accepts the person how it is simply.

    Best of luck! =)

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyMoon View Post
    Our relashionship is a secret from all of my real life friends and my family. I'm not sure if I can trust him
    Your relationship is a secret from all of your friends and family? why are you hiding your relationship? his idea or yours?

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyMoon View Post
    I'm not sure if I can trust him
    There is your answer. If you can't say yes to the trust issue 100% then on the most important internal level you don't trust him and therefore should not tell him.

    Oh yeah, and the fact that your relationship is secret from all YOUR friends and YOUR family tells me that there are some serious red flags in your relationship. Do his friends and family know about the relationship? Who is needing the secrecy, you or him? And why?

    Seems like things are built on an unstable foundation and until you can sure that up and make it strong, my recommendation is that you don't say anything about it. Work on the relationship first.

    If the realtionship doesn't work then so be it. There are plenty of ABDL aware and friendly guys out there who would be happy to change your diapers for you.

    dprluv

  8. #8

    Default

    Well,

    I've heard this quite a few times...and experienced thing in this genre as well...

    No offence to anyone, but when your younger you tend to be less self confident...

    That's not everyone, but most...me included...

    With the non trusting, hidden, relationship there seems to be something amiss...

    Now, my suggestion is to step back a bit, look at the relationship, and see if there isn't some sort of a dependence issue going on...

    A serious relationship should be based on mutual respect, love, honesty, and trust...

    It seems from the little I've been able to get from this post missing quite a few of that list...

    As others have said, get your relationship in order before anything else!

    This isn't just Abdl, this is general issues that need attention if you want a relationship to work...

    B

  9. #9

    Default

    im going through this at the moment only the opposite way round. im trying to ease her in really slowly. maybe you could start doing more babyish type things around him like... i dunno wearing more babyish clothes and asking if he thinks you look cute. or suck your thumb, or suck his thumb actually, thats really hot. and praise him or reward him if he babys you, just ease it in. it seems to be working for me so far with my girlfriend. you say its a fetish for you, if you lead this kind of behaviour on with err... whats pg 13... adult situations lol, you can condition him like pavlovs dogs into associating baby behaviour from you with adult situations for him

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