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Thread: Any advice on telling partners?

  1. #1

    Default Any advice on telling partners?

    So I've been seeing this girl a while and it's going really good and she'll do a lot of things that are AB like, she sucks her thumb, she calls me daddy (this started out as a joke but now she does all the time), she likes me putting her to bed (she does shift work), if she's bad she'll ask to be spanked, and she says stuff like she loves being my baby. But I don't know how to nudge our relationship towards pacifiers and diapers and clothes and stuff..? I'm thinking doing really slowly would be better but I have no idea how to start the conversation. What's your experiences of bringing things up with partners?

  2. #2

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    I agree that working into things slowly is definitely a good idea! It sounds to me like you guys are already engaging in 'Ageplay'! She might just not realize that this bond you two have has a name(ABDL, or Ageplay), and that a lot of other people enjoy it too! Since she is already enjoying these things and has a comfort level with them, maybe a good approach would be to tell her that!

    That might also give you a window to say that some people actually use clothes, diapers, pacifiers, stuffed animals and things to sort of enhance the experience. She seems to already enjoy the daddy/daughter dynamic, so introducing "props" to it might be something she'd be excited about!

    If you explain ABDL to her, tell her what it's all about, things different ABDL's enjoy doing, how the activities/dynamics can vary, and some different things that can be used (clothes, diapers, pacifiers) You could try to see if any of it piques her interest and go from there

    It might also be helpful to try to figure out what her identified AB age(s) are, even though she already said "baby" she might actually find that she's more comfortable in a different age, if that information was presented to her.

    There's actually a thread about explaining ABDL, and others there have shared their experiences in explaining it and what that was like for them, you might be interested in taking a look! Here's the thread:
    Community Write-An-Article: Explaining ABDL to non-ABDLs


    I have had a lot of experience with telling people that are close to me about my ABDL. I have told a relationship partner, but I don't think that experience would be that helpful to you because of it's circumstance. I have told a couple close friends, and two of my sisters. It has gone surprisingly well! I actually wrote a little bit about my experience with telling someone on that thread too ^_^

    You should update on this thread when you decide to bring things up! I'd love to know how it goes! =D

  3. #3

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    You could probably get away pretty easy with just buying her a pacifier right now and presenting it as part of the joke. With the way she has been going about it so far, you could probably just pop it in her mouth.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Diapers will probably be the hardest jump. You might just have to tell her that you have a thing towards diapers. Which that would be something to work slowly towards.

  4. #4

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    Thanks guys you have some good ideas... Maybe I will introduce the pacifier first as a joke. She does know about adult babies a little bit but only cuz there was a documentary on about it a while back we watched and it focused really heavily on older guys wanting to be female babies so I think maybe avoiding the label might work a bit better. She'd be so perfect though she's absolutely tiny.

  5. #5

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    I feel like that documentary was kind of a missed opportunity, a discussion on how it's unfair to take a little known subculture and pick at only the most shocking parts of it in order to make it seem like it's really a bunch of perverts and creepers in order to get it to sell, rather than create an honest and open minded and educational documentary.

    Being a part of both the furry culture and abdl culture, I see it a lot, even from furries and abdl's. Expressing yourself as being very open minded, nonjudgmental and trustworthy is the best get people to express how they honestly feel, without popular culture interfering.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by fred123 View Post
    Thanks guys you have some good ideas... Maybe I will introduce the pacifier first as a joke. She does know about adult babies a little bit but only cuz there was a documentary on about it a while back we watched and it focused really heavily on older guys wanting to be female babies so I think maybe avoiding the label might work a bit better. She'd be so perfect though she's absolutely tiny.
    That's too bad, (that she had a bad first impression of ab/dl from the documentary) I agree with tornpup about it being a missed opportunity. On the other hand, as many have said on here, chances are no media (for ab/dl) will be good media :/

    The good thing about not using an explanation of ab/dl to present things, is that it gives you guys a chance to have your own unique experience venturing into it! That is exciting

    I think the pacifier joke idea is good too!! You know her best, so ultimately you will know the best way to approach things with her

  7. #7

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    It's possible too that she may have to take the lead in all of this. If she has a strong desire, she probably will. Many of us have been in that boat, and we've dropped our many hints to our spouses, etc. Usually it's done piecemeal, one hint after another, a conversation, etc. I think you'll get there.

  8. #8
    stad0118

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    get them to tell u a secret first

  9. #9

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    So.... i gave her the pacifier as a joke and she did use it the other day. shes just moved into her own apartment (which makes things a lot more convenient) and by a weird coincidence (i swear i had nothing to do with it) ordered this white bedroom furniture thats actually meant for children but i guess she liked it. anyways so whats the next step after pacifiers... i guess i want to ease her into this gradually without labels. i got her a behaviour chart with unicorn stickers (again as a joke) the other day and she seems enthusiastic about it. i feel like theres an invisible line to cross of no return. that documentary did make me cringe a bit i have to admit.. there was only one daddy daughter type relationship and he did not represent the team well...

  10. #10

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    Fred, I don't think that it would be a big leap and a line that if you cross you can't come back from if you were to buy some diapers for her. Keep it up beat and light. Tell her that you thought that she looked cute and sweet with the pacifier and wanted to see her wearing the diaper too because you thought that it would make her look even sweeter. Make sure that you have the cute diapers that fit the tape on not the pull ups. You want ones that fit so she don't feel like she is "stuffed" into the diaper. And if she balks or says no you can jump back across the line saying that it was just a funny thought you had and not a big deal. But leave the diapers at her place she may later go back to them after some thought.

    SoakedinTexas

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