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Thread: Article on Sissy Struggles

  1. #1

    Default Article on Sissy Struggles

    I saw this in the newspaper today. Nothing new to some of you but not being a sissy, I found it interesting in this man's struggles. LA Times article

  2. #2

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    Thanks for posting this, Zip!

    I can't speak for all the cross-dressers on here, but I definitely related to parts of Sissy's story. Using women's clothes to escape to another world. Living in terror of being found out and rejected. And above all else, just wanting my true self to be accepted.

    I think that's why he chose to go public with his dressing, honestly. Obviously, he wants to express himself and be true to his own desires and inclinations. But a bit part of being who you are is being accepted for who you are. Growing up in what sounds like an extremely difference-phobic place, he must have lived in terror of being found out. Going public has helped him find that acceptance, even as he's faced persecution from the less open-minded people in his community. And that acceptance from others is worth a lot, obviously!

    I posted on here once about when I went shopping for dresses, and ended up in a store with no mirrors in the dressing rooms. The lady running the store, seeing that it was empty, let me come out and look at the dress I was wearing in the store mirror. Being able to be seen by someone else while dressed - and to be told "You look good" (even if it was just trying to get a sale) - did so much for my self-esteem. Being lucky enough to find a girlfriend who knows about my tastes in clothing, and not only accepts but enjoys them, has given me more happiness than I can describe. I think it's a similar idea with Sissy here: the potential pitfalls of bring hurt are worth it for the acceptance he's found.

    I think this has to include the important caution to be careful, though. He's been beaten up, arrested, and shunned for his desires, too. He's much tougher than I am...one punch and I'd probably never touch a dress again! Coming out as a cross-dresser of any sort - or transgender, or anything beyond the boring gender binary - involves the risk of physical and emotional harm. That's why I think it's really important to be thoughtful about who you reveal yourself to, and to make sure it's someone who needs to know, which will be different for everyone. That's what makes a support community like this one so important - it's acceptance without real-life risk, if you're safe with your identity.

    Thanks for the inspiring and beautiful article. I enjoyed it very much, and definitely saw bits of my own story here.

  3. #3

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    You're welcome! I posted it hoping someone like yourself could relate to the emotions that he is/went through. Like you said, one needs to be careful about who you come out to or the consequences can be hurtful in more ways than one. I like your story, too, about trying on a dress in a store and getting a compliment from the saleslady, regardless of the motive.

  4. #4

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    Thanks for that article Zip. I liked it as I crossdress a lot myself but not as brave out in public.

  5. #5

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    What I got from it is that he's confronting his fears in much the same manner as someone who is afraid of snakes can overcome it by handling them, or for someone afraid of heights to bungee jump. I admire his attitude and outlook, as well as the fact that his wife and son have chose to stand by him, as well as his students,and the fact he even has a job at all in such a place.
    Adventurer you rock! I presume you went dress-shopping as 'Clark Kent' - as your cisgender appearance. I haven't been able to bring myself to do much beyond drive-by shopping for the random pair of shoes or leggings though I finally bought a bra the other day, and I happen to live in an area with a reputation of people usually not looking twice, I feel slightly ashamed on some level that I've tried to deny this part of me to myself let alone the few people I can trust in my life.

    Zipperless this was well worth linking. Thank you kindly

  6. #6

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    Well,

    You know, I've dressed in a skirt and corset in public several times, even makeup, as well as bondage gear as well...

    It's odd, I don't think I noticed two or three people give my clothing a second look, but this was in the city...

    I quite often wear a bra, especially if running machinery like bobcat or tractor...the bouncing just kills my man boobs...nothing fancy or stuffed, I ware a 40a, and it helps a lot, and actually minimizes them a bit.

    I don't dress very often, maybe once a month, but it is fun...

    And I wear diapers pretty much 24/7 so, sometimes I do wear tights, or spanx...

    But that was a good article...

    I actually think most all men would cross dress given the chance and in private...

    B

  7. #7

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    Again, I'm glad you all liked the article. At first I was hesitant to post the link as it might bring up bad memories. But it looks like the overall response is a positive one. I heard in a history class once that everything women wear, with the exception of bras and corsets, men wore first. Jeans, leggings, blouses, etc. Anyone else hear anything similar?

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    I heard in a history class once that everything women wear, with the exception of bras and corsets, men wore first. Jeans, leggings, blouses, etc. Anyone else hear anything similar?
    You've only got to look at paintings from before about 1800 to see this effect, in Western history anyway....
    If you look up any given clothing item on wikipedia, you'll probably find an example of it's use as a men's or unisex clothing in the past, before it became associated with women. This has happened with names too. Of course, because things "male" are held in higher esteem than things "female" it's rarely happened the other way round.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaraRiddle View Post
    You've only got to look at paintings from before about 1800 to see this effect, in Western history anyway....
    If you look up any given clothing item on wikipedia, you'll probably find an example of it's use as a men's or unisex clothing in the past, before it became associated with women. This has happened with names too. Of course, because things "male" are held in higher esteem than things "female" it's rarely happened the other way round.
    That's interesting Ms. C Thanks!

  10. #10

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    Well,

    Bras may be an exception, but corsets were menswear in the past too...

    In fact in the past men wore girdles as well...

    I've worn my corset out many times, usually under clothes...but I've shown off my one corset too...

    It's outer layer is a very nice silk with dragons on it.

    B

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