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Thread: Telling a Friend

  1. #1

    Default Telling a Friend

    So I know I'm about the millionth person to ask this, but I am planning on telling a good friend about me being ABDL and I was wondering how the best way to start a conversation or something like that which led to me telling them about being an ABDL and if you guys told anyone how did you do it?. Thanks

  2. #2


    I gradually told him after 2 and a half yrs of knowing him. At first when I meet him, he didn't know if I was gay or not just because I asked if he wanted to go to bk with him or not. But he is the kind of person where you have to get to know eachother before sharing anything personal to you. Actually I found this is how it works with most people. Best of luck to ya

  3. #3


    I'd start with, "Hey, it would be really nice for me if i could tell you something about myself..."

  4. #4


    I'd say question your motives for telling first - make sure it is something you want to do and want to do for a non-selfish reason.

    If you can check those boxes... I'd also make sure if the person is considered trustworthy...
    Then I'd say you would have to know how openminded that person is... as a bad example: hardore ultra conservative christians for example = bad idea to talk about that kind of stuff I guess (with the rare exceptions of course).... stupid example I know... but you get the idea... if the person is generally openminded and you had talks about sexual stuff etc. before, chances are quite goo that it will be taken in without too much difficulty.

    however don't blow it out of proportion - I mean when you start to talk about such stuff, don't make it sound like you're going to tell him that you are a involved in a triple homicide, drug trafficking and slavery....

    and last but not least: again, make sure you know WHY you want to share that info with that specific person - what do you want, what do you hope to achieve, etc...

  5. #5


    Everyone is different and will tell/react to this in a different way. As for myself I told two of my friends, neither of which know each other. The first one I told was kind of into the kink world already and had heard of some things and i flat out told him. I was for sure that he would be okay with it so i had no problem. He even took me to the park a few times. The second person was my vanilla friend. She didn't know anything about other lifestyles so I knew telling her would be hard. I picked a time in our friendship where I knew every little thing about her. She knew just about everything about me except for me being an ageplayer.

    I started off the convo with me telling her that she was my best friend. And that I hoped that regardless of my weirdness that she would always stick by me. By saying that, she knew instantly that I was about to confess. She asked if I was alright and I said yes. She then went on to tell me that I can tell her anything no matter how odd. So I began to explain. I told her that I sometimes get super stressed out, and there were some ways that I cope that are different from other people. She then panicked thinking I was drinking or doing drugs. I assured her that i was healthy and was not doing anything that i thought was unhealthy.

    After she was done panicking, I told her that I like to feel like a kid again. That I still have footed pajamas and a sippy cup, and that going back to an age of innocence makes me feel better. She then became interested in learning more so I told her about the simple things. I didn'd begin with diapers or wetting my bed because I felt like I didn't want to throw something at her so fast that was hard to explain. Over time I showed her my sippy cup and pacifier, and also my pajamas to help her physically see that I was still me. I told her small things over the course of a couple of things and I didn't physically show her anything until she told me that she accepted me for me and that she wanted to see some of my items.

    Today we are still best friends. She has since bought her own sippy cup and stuffed animal. She does not consider herself an ageplayer nor does she act younger. She just likes having those items as comfort items. I'm glad that I was able to tell her but before you tell anyone you just need to make sure that you can handle the consequences whether they are good or bad. Good luck friend!

  6. #6


    In general, I'd say it's not a good idea to tell anyone except for someone you're in a serious relationship with. The only possible good that could come would be acceptance, and maybe finding an AB partner if you're incredibly lucky. But even if you're incredibly lucky, here's the catch: sharing something so secret will likely create a lot of emotional intimacy between you...which could make things awkward if either of you are currently dating/married. (Or you guys could end up together, if your friend is the same gender you're attracted to. It did happen to me, after all). So keep that in mind if you choose to tell. But of course, that's assuming your friend is so accepting that they'd take part with you, with is unlikely.

    In a more likely scenario, be aware of the potential problems. What if your friend doesn't tale it well? Would it hurt or destroy your friendship? How accepting is your friend of differences? These are important questions that deserve a lot of thought. After all, a lot of negative stereotypes swirl around ABDLs. Be careful, and keep it quiet if you're not convinced that your friend is very open to different people.

    If it's acceptance you're after, I'd instead recommend making some friends on this forum. This is where I found the acceptance I'd been looking for. Around here, people know what it's like, and they do accept you the way you are. So unless you've got another reason for wanting to tell your friend, I would suggest not telling them. This online community is a safer place to talk about your feelings and be accepted for who you are. Good luck, though, making your choice!

  7. #7


    It's really hard being alone with this in RL especially when the 'little' part of you just wants to burst out and play, but unfortunately, so few understand the depths of our yearning. It is an awesome load off your sholders if there is someone else in your life that knows about you....especially if they are also accepting of your idiosyncracies. I would also caution though, that the person you share this with must be someone you trust explicitly, someone you know will always keep this confidential and not share it with anyone else....that is an enormous responsibility to put on another person.

    As Adventurer says, perhaps you should focus on that type of sharing here on this forum where others can relate, advise, empathize and maintain your anonymity. I have shared this with only one person in RL my long term partner. It was a good thing to do, but took me a long time to believe she was ready to know.

    Think long and hard, and then think some more... don't feel you have to share this, but if you do, I wish you the best of luck.

  8. #8


    Last weekend i told my friend of 8 years about my adult baby side he accepted it and took it well he also said that when i get my own place he will help me build my crib. He already new about my diaper fetish tho

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