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Thread: So, how did I get here?

  1. #1

    Default So, how did I get here?

    Hi all! I'm bigpa, a 30+ years old male.

    I'm single, rather happy, and a hardcore geek.

    Since almost two years ago I live alone, and after moving I spent a couple of months wanting to buy diapers but I hadn't the courage to do it. At last, I did it. And it was fascinating.

    I'm a diaper lover since around my 12 years old, when my little sister was born. I'm unable to recall if I saw diapers (in any form) before she was born, but the thing is that when I saw her diapers for the first time, I felt weird. I... felt like using one of that 'things'. Even I tried to put myself one of her diapers when she was a little older, but my body was already too big.

    I kept that feeling to myself.

    At some time in high school a friend of mine had internet access so with a huge embarrasment I asked him to let me search ABDL pics (to give you a clue, I used 1.44MB diskettes which hold in turn around 12/14 files :P). He always was very polite so that helped me a lot, but was in that moment when I realized I was a diaper lover: Seeing normally dressed people wearing diapers caused a sort of electricity that baby-dressed people just didn't.

    Of course, I never again tried to use diapers (what if my parents had discovered me!?), but I couldn't help to feel something awkard, to feel nervous near a diaper bag, regardless its brand or its size.

    It wasn't but until I was an adult that I confessed my fetish to my best friend, who just laughed (that didn't help a lot), but at least everything stopped there. No more news until I moved to my own place.

    So years have passed and I'm here... wearing a Plenitud Protect (I think it's a rebrand of Depends)... and still without understand why.

    I know, I know... Plenitud Protect isn't the best brand by far (I'm already disappointed by it), but these are the best diapers I can get by now. I'll talk about that in another thread later.

    To sum up, why is it happening to me? Don't take me wrong, I like it, i really like it, but somehow I can't explain how or why I get to this situation, and to get things worse, I just can't handle to go into the diaper! (well, I'm starting to feel nervous saying this :p). I'm like inhibited to pee, and just sit to wait... and wait... and wait.. Until it is impossible to hold it anymore. Why? Why I still do this?

    So, how did I get here? :P

    Hugs and thanks in advance!

    PS: English isn't my native language, so I'll most likely have made some grammar errors horrors. I'm trying to do my best.

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    Hi all! I'm bigpa, a 30+ years old male.

    I'm single, rather happy, and a hardcore geek.
    Welcome to the club



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    Since almost two years ago I live alone, and after moving I spent a couple of months wanting to buy diapers but I hadn't the courage to do it. At last, I did it. And it was fascinating.
    Congrats, I guess. It took me a bit of courage, but I was 14 when I first did it (in person, with cash), whereas I was a bit more nervous doing it online because it meant that a certain medical supply store had my home address (and yes, my parents did receive their marketing mails advertising special discounts on incontinence supplies), and finally I felt nervous buying things from an ABDL store online because it meant that now someone else knew my real-life identity, home address and phone number - but then you realise there isn't much to worry about.



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    I'm a diaper lover since around my 12 years old, when my little sister was born. I'm unable to recall if I saw diapers (in any form) before she was born, but the thing is that when I saw her diapers for the first time, I felt weird. I... felt like using one of that 'things'. Even I tried to put myself one of her diapers when she was a little older, but my body was already too big.

    I kept that feeling to myself.
    I know that feel bro.



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    At some time in high school a friend of mine had internet access so with a huge embarrasment I asked him to let me search ABDL pics (to give you a clue, I used 1.44MB diskettes which hold in turn around 12/14 files :P). He always was very polite so that helped me a lot, but was in that moment when I realized I was a diaper lover: Seeing normally dressed people wearing diapers caused a sort of electricity that baby-dressed people just didn't.

    Of course, I never again tried to use diapers (what if my parents had discovered me!?), but I couldn't help to feel something awkard, to feel nervous near a diaper bag, regardless its brand or its size.

    It wasn't but until I was an adult that I confessed my fetish to my best friend, who just laughed (that didn't help a lot), but at least everything stopped there. No more news until I moved to my own place.
    I'm sorry to hear that - at my end, I never told anyone in "real-life" about my ABDLBFnss (except my parents, various medical professionals, people who needed to know) until a few weeks ago when I mentioned it in passing with a friend from work, he's super-cool with it and respects me in that regard - we often hold frank conversations about what we're doing and he came with me to visit another ABDL friend a few towns away and sat-through a 4-hour chat I had with said friend.



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    So years have passed and I'm here... wearing a Plenitud Protect (I think it's a rebrand of Depends)... and still without understand why.
    Apparently Plenitud is KC's brand name in Peru (I'm guessing this is where you're from), so it isn't so much a rebrand as it is the same thing (like Pampers Active-fit vs. Pampers Crusiers).




    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    To sum up, why is it happening to me? Don't take me wrong, I like it, i really like it, but somehow I can't explain how or why I get to this situation
    hmm, I'm no psychologist, but your attraction to diapers is expected: you clearly had an interest at a young age which has an effect on your psychosexual development, which develops into a fetish, the same way that (warning: broad-generalisation ahead) spanked children grow up to be into BDSM.



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    ...and to get things worse, I just can't handle to go into the diaper! (well, I'm starting to feel nervous saying this :p). I'm like inhibited to pee, and just sit to wait... and wait... and wait.. Until it is impossible to hold it anymore. Why? Why I still do this?
    Disclaimer: I never encourage bladder de-training, and I think people who "want" to become incontinent are misguided and irresponsible, but you can train yourself to be able to pee into a diaper without losing bladder-control, like you your body will only let you pee into a toilet, you can train yourself so your body will also let you pee into a diaper, but still not wet yourself any other time.

    I developed that "ability" the painful way: drink loads of fluids and wear a diaper and just keep on trying to pee until it comes out. It will happen eventually (just keep drinking). When you get the point where you are peeing you'll "sense" your sphincter muscles and develop a stronger ability to open it at-will - it took me over a year to get it right, and even then I could only do it standing-up. It wasn't until a few years afterwards I could pee while sitting or lying down - but I still retain control over my bladder and the only time I've ever wet myself was when a friend practically forced me to drink a gallon of water and Pepsi and then went on an hour's car drive without letting me get out - I ruined his nice leather seats, serves him right :p



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    So, how did I get here? :P
    By opening your browser and loading Adisc.org, apparently.



    Quote Originally Posted by bigpa View Post
    PS: English isn't my native language, so I'll most likely have made some grammar errors horrors. I'm trying to do my best.
    You did fine kiddo

  3. #3

    Default

    It takes time to get your body adjusted. The mind has strong safeties to prevent you from urinating when you're not supposed to. It makes it difficult to go when in unfamiliar circumstances. (other than sitting on or standing in front of a toilet)

    I suffer from "shy bladder", I find it difficult to go in public places, like public restrooms, and especially in unseparated urinals, especially if there's "company" in the restroom. So I had a similar fight with using my diapers. It's taken me a few years to get more control over my bladder - for me it was a slow and gradual process. All you can do is practice. It helps to have a full bladder. Don't do anything that hurts. If you're painfully full and can't use your diaper, don't try to wait it out. Go to the toilet and empty out, but maybe only 1/3 or 1/2 if you can stop. Then go back to your padding and see if you can resume. At least you won't have to wait as long for your bladder to get full again.

    It may take you a few months to be able to use your diaper with any ease. Then you can try more challenging things - wetting in public. While walking. While sitting in a moving vehicle. While driving. For me, it really helped me overcome some of my shy bladder, I can use public restrooms much easier now. Good luck!

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    Welcome to the club
    Thanks





    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    Congrats, I guess. It took me a bit of courage, but I was 14 when I first did it (in person, with cash), whereas I was a bit more nervous doing it online because it meant that a certain medical supply store had my home address (and yes, my parents did receive their marketing mails advertising special discounts on incontinence supplies), and finally I felt nervous buying things from an ABDL store online because it meant that now someone else knew my real-life identity, home address and phone number - but then you realise there isn't much to worry about.
    In my case, more or less, I mean: I spend days planning which store I will go for diapers (picture it yourself, it has to be far from home!), if the bag will fit inside my backpack, which brand I'll try (I need a bigger backpack, so I always end with the same Plenitud ones), where I will hide them, and of course:
    Always with cash.

    I live less than 5km away from my parent's place and they come to visit me from time to time so I'm not living a pure state of 'freedom', if you know what I mean . So I'm still scared about if they discover the diapers or if any neighbour see me wearing them (although that would be a lesser problem, I guess).

    You left me thinking... 14! you were brave.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    I know that feel bro.
    To hear (read) this is so comforting.




    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    I'm sorry to hear that - at my end, I never told anyone in "real-life" about my ABDLBFnss (except my parents
    I see that like an ultimate goal. My parents knowing this? I can't even imagine.





    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    Apparently Plenitud is KC's brand name in Peru (I'm guessing this is where you're from), so it isn't so much a rebrand as it is the same thing (like Pampers Active-fit vs. Pampers Crusiers).
    Hahaha sorry I didn't clarify it. I'm from Argentina.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    hmm, I'm no psychologist, but your attraction to diapers is expected: you clearly had an interest at a young age which has an effect on your psychosexual development, which develops into a fetish, the same way that (warning: broad-generalisation ahead) spanked children grow up to be into BDSM.
    I had never EVER read about it in that way. These are like the combination of words I needed to hear. It makes perfect sense (even the BDSM thing, which I'm not into, but helps me a lot to understand the whole picture).



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    Disclaimer: I never encourage bladder de-training, and I think people who "want" to become incontinent are misguided and irresponsible
    I'm with you with that disclaimer, and I don't want to be incontinent. I just want to enjoy them (and the money they cost) safely.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    but you can train yourself to be able to pee into a diaper without losing bladder-control, like you your body will only let you pee into a toilet, you can train yourself so your body will also let you pee into a diaper, but still not wet yourself any other time.
    So, long story short, I'm unconsciously re-training myself.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    I developed that "ability" the painful way: drink loads of fluids and wear a diaper and just keep on trying to pee until it comes out. It will happen eventually (just keep drinking).
    I. Did. That. +1 to the 'painful way' thing.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalSomeThing View Post
    By opening your browser and loading Adisc.org, apparently.
    You did fine kiddo
    Lol thanks. Thank you very much.



    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    I suffer from "shy bladder", I find it difficult to go in public places, like public restrooms, and especially in unseparated urinals, especially if there's "company" in the restroom.
    I suffer exactly the same



    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    So I had a similar fight with using my diapers. It's taken me a few years to get more control over my bladder - for me it was a slow and gradual process. All you can do is practice. It helps to have a full bladder. Don't do anything that hurts. If you're painfully full and can't use your diaper, don't try to wait it out. Go to the toilet and empty out, but maybe only 1/3 or 1/2 if you can stop. Then go back to your padding and see if you can resume. At least you won't have to wait as long for your bladder to get full again.

    It may take you a few months to be able to use your diaper with any ease. Then you can try more challenging things - wetting in public. While walking. While sitting in a moving vehicle. While driving. For me, it really helped me overcome some of my shy bladder, I can use public restrooms much easier now. Good luck!
    Wow, I didn't expect that. In fact, I never thought about re-training my bladder to feel better in public restrooms and places alike.

    I fell relieved now. I think that just talking about it represents a huge improvement about how I face this situation, and with all the hints I feel more confident now.

    Thanks to both you, thank you very much.

    Hugs!

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