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Thread: Help! Am i going crazy?

  1. #1
    H0TWH33LS

    Default Help! Am i going crazy?

    Is it crazy to still hold onto hope after your ex has filed a restraining order against you? I do not want to get into gory details because honestly the relationship was pure bliss. I feel like my mind is being tortured and there is nothing I can do. Nobody can understand or believe why I would still hold hope in this relationship so it is extremely hard to continue having faith. Deep down my gut tells me that my "ex" still has feelings and this is all part of the control she wants to establish in the relationship. My "gut" has served me well over the course of my young life so I have ditched my mind and followed my heart.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by H0TWH33LS View Post
    Is it crazy to still hold onto hope after your ex has filed a restraining order against you?
    Yes, yes it is.



    Quote Originally Posted by H0TWH33LS View Post
    Deep down my gut tells me that my "ex" still has feelings and this is all part of the control she wants to establish in the relationship.
    Because nothing says I love you like "I went and got a piece of paper that means you legally have to stay away from me". Even if you're right (and that is a huge if) it isn't healthy to be in a relationship with someone who goes and gets a restraining order to establish control, that sort of person is clearly not balanced.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by pajamakitten View Post
    Because nothing says I love you like "I went and got a piece of paper that means you legally have to stay away from me".
    ^This.

    I can relate somewhat to how you feel. Years ago I was forced to sign an order of protection saying that I couldn't come within a certain amount of feet from my ex girlfriend. I felt she still had feelings for me then and I her, but that order of protection abruptly ended any thought of talking to her for the foreseeable future. I would consider your relationship with her done and over with, perhaps any future relationship with her might be out the window too. Just move on with your life and obey the law or else you go to jail.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by H0TWH33LS View Post
    Is it crazy to still hold onto hope after your ex has filed a restraining order against you? I do not want to get into gory details because honestly the relationship was pure bliss. I feel like my mind is being tortured and there is nothing I can do. Nobody can understand or believe why I would still hold hope in this relationship so it is extremely hard to continue having faith. Deep down my gut tells me that my "ex" still has feelings and this is all part of the control she wants to establish in the relationship. My "gut" has served me well over the course of my young life so I have ditched my mind and followed my heart.
    Honestly, based on what you've said here, my impression is that you're at least a bit clingy and have no idea when something's ended. When you think the relationship was "pure bliss" and she's getting a restraining order, I do not think you have an accurate perception of the state of the relationship. Think about what her getting a restraining order represents. It's past dodging you and ignoring your phone calls. It's past her telling you straight-up that she doesn't ever want to see you anymore. It's past her screaming various profanities at you before slapping you across the face then screaming that she hopes you rot in hell. It's her telling you that if you attempt to contact her or get too close to her, she will have you jailed. This is not the course of action taken by someone attempting to establish some form of control in a relationship. This is the course of action taken by someone that feels you're either a threat to her or at least harassing her to an extent that is diminishing the quality of her life. There is no stronger way she could tell you it's over without use of a firearm.

    Take the hint. Move along. Spend some real time trying to sort out why she might have felt she needed a restraining order. If you come back to "my "ex" still has feelings and this is all part of the control she wants to establish in the relationship," do it again as I guarantee that is not the answer.

  5. #5

    Default

    Gotta agree with what everyone else here is saying. If she doesn't want you near her (and especially if its the law) you shouldn't go near her.

  6. #6

    Default

    The fact that your ex. has gotten a restraining order suggests to me that you are not using good reasoning and judgement. If one only considers the court order, you have to stay away from her or risk going to jail. This is a done deal. She doesn't want to see you.

    What you need to do is move on. If you find someone else, in a very short time, you won't even care about your ex.

  7. #7

    Default

    Simple answer is yes you are crazy.

    Long answer is: It's really really fucking skeezy and really really narcissistic to think that after someone has said "I want you to stay away from me so bad that I went through the hassle and expense of getting an official document saying that if you come near me again I can have you arrested" that they still have feelings for you. Yeah she has feelings for you, they just fall clearly into the I'm-scared-for-my-life-because-my-ex-is-a-psycho-stalker box.

    Stay away from her. She does not want to see you. Ever ever again.

  8. #8

    Default

    Yes, you're probably crazy. By that I mean, you are likely afflicted by some form of mental illness that has left you obsessed and a threat to your Ex-GF. I'd strongly suggest you seek out mental health rather than your Ex-GF.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMiss View Post
    Stay away from her. She does not want to see you. Ever ever again.
    This is probably the best answer you'll get in this thread. Move on. You're just making things worse for yourself and for your ex by hanging on.

  10. #10

    Default

    Please read this fully


    Quote Originally Posted by H0TWH33LS View Post
    Is it crazy to still hold onto hope after your ex has filed a restraining order against you?I do not want to get into gory details because honestly the relationship was pure bliss.
    It's not crazy that you still hold hope, from what details you've given it isn't difficult to see that you still have some strong feelings for your 'ex'. I imagine you feel like you have lost someone you hold dear and that perhaps rather than face that, you hold out hope instead.


    Quote Originally Posted by H0TWH33LS View Post
    all part of the control she wants to establish in the relationship.
    Sadly, this is where your 'gut' is wrong and you need to listen to both your head and the restraining order. Even if your ex still has feelings for you, there is nothing clearer than a restraining order against you to say 'no more'.

    I know its hard to admit it but you have to realise that its over and holding onto hope or worse breaking the order will bring nothing but pain.





    To a few of the other posts in this thread.
    I find it saddening that you can be so cold.

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