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Thread: Where do our ideas come from?

  1. #1

    Default Where do our ideas come from?

    I've been wondering a bit about why, in a community where lots of people like to regress for various reasons, there are some of us who also like to put themselves in an LG role. When I thought about my reasons, I realized that a lot of them aren't fully founded on reality, but on other things.

    For example, one reason being an LG appeals to me is because I have the idea that little girls can be very real with their emotions. They don't need to act strong or hide pain. But where did I get the idea? I'm not actually sure. I'm not sure I can think of a real-world example of a little girl doing this. In fact, I've seen lots of examples of kids wanting to act bigger or more mature than they really are. So it seems like my impressions of what it means to be little have come from other sources. Books, movies, or cultural traditions seem to be the foundation of my vision of what being an LG means.

    Does anyone else find this? Where does your vision of what it means to be an LG come from? Do you think it's founded on reality? (It doesn't have to be...the fact that mine isn't doesn't change a thing ).

  2. #2

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    In my real-life mind and body I can sense that I'm not respected or considered when I come into a certain room, some people seem to feel there's nothing wrong with talking to, or at me in a very ugly manner, which in turn serves to cause me to feel ugly. LGs are perceived to be more fragile (my impression) so more care and caution is observed when gauging the words one uses toward them, and they are such a ball of life, and newness that only a real grouch would object to their presence. I suppose it's the proverbial greener grass over the fence but I would rather be able to exude radiance and positivity by entering a room without being judged or second-guessed all the time

  3. #3

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    As far as it goes for me, I like the girl side of me because that's just how I grew up, liking to play with girls more than boys.

    Throughout my childhood I was more interested in girl toys than boy toys, I hated batman but I loved it when I got a kitchen set, a doll, and a baby stroller when I was 5. I just really like things that are cute and girly and that's how I live, there isn't really any distinction between the girl side of me and the "real life" side of me, I'm pretty consistent.

    Basically where my idea of a little girl comes from is what my childhood experiences were and what I see that I like. I like to color hello kitty stuff just because I enjoy doing so.

    Strictly speaking I don't purposely seek out to act like a girl, it just works that way! I'm not really regressing because I didn't ever really grow up.

    I just don't adhere to stereotypes about what I should be like. I'm nearly 190 lbs and 6'3" and I wear hello kitty bracelets and Pokemon shirts. Imma do what I want.

    Summary:
    Always was interested in girl stuff and girl peers
    No dichotomy between "girl side" and "real life"
    I define myself through my childhood and what I like at present

  4. #4

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    Honestly, I think we all have quite different ways and reasons how and why we're LG's. But in the core some things are surely the same and surely a lot tend to have nearly the same variations, in the most general sense.

    Anyway, for me it's kind of nearly the same as for you Adventurer. If you're little, and not even girls to be honest ;), you can show emotions and a behaviour that would have to hide while being a mature adult.
    For me... I always like to call it: "letting my defensive down". Surely this means getting hurt, perhaps. But I'm only doing this with people, or with 1 person to be specific, that I simply trust, that I won't get hurt. Or that I'm getting some comfort from that person.... and who doesn't like that, to be honest?

    Furthermore, I think it's also a big part that kids in general, also if you're playing one, want to be as mature as possible. And nothing is wrong about it, though if something happens or under certain circumstances, they still show a rather innocent behaviour.
    And this contrast from being, or acting adult, but still being/playing a little toddler underneath, or on the outside looking like a kid, that tries to act as mature as possible is the big joy for me, mostly.

    So I don't think that this idea is wrong. It's a variation from being little and it's still surely a comforting one, if you like it.
    Surely you, me and everyone get our ideas from certain sources and of course to a big degree simply from our imagination...
    In the end it's those we like the most for our personality, I think. Be it some movies or certain books, our own childhood to some degree, seeing little kids playing somewhere or playing yourself with your little cousins in my case (when I've been babysitting them in the past) and so on.

  5. #5

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    doesn't everyone know, it's Daddy who makes the girl....
    little girls just naturally want to be with and please their Daddy.
    gosh, i thought everybody knew that, silly...

    even as a little boy going to work with my Daddy, He meant the world to me! i grew-up helping and watching Him work. i guess i just naturally idealized Him. and everything that He did for me, no matter how small, was special somehow. i just had a very special relationship with my Daddy....

    then during my transition and now 30 years living in the female sex and gender role, i have been able to let my children/little's out to express their very natural admiration/adoration for whoever was the daddy-figure in our lives at any given time. of course, that person must be both will and capable of fulfilling the responsibilities of a true "Daddy" for the bond to happen naturally... the "Daddy-role" is one of deep trust and emotional bonding; not to be taken lightly or with a cavalier attitude.

    in the end, i do think the connection between a girl and her daddy or father can be a very strong one, and it can set a pattern in her life for the rest of her life in how she relates to "that special man....."
    who else would i ever want to be a little-girl for if not for Daddy.
    (very soft smile)

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    doesn't everyone know, it's Daddy who makes the girl....
    little girls just naturally want to be with and please their Daddy.
    gosh, i thought everybody knew that, silly...
    Actually, no, that's not true!!! I'm considered a woman, and my #1 "hero" has always been Mommy Dearest, no matter how "mean" or "hateful" she can be!!! There've been times when she hit me and called me every curse word in the book, yet I still wanted to hug her as soon as she calmed down, then do whatever would please her (or stop whatever displeased her) in the future so she wouldn't go "off" like that again. My dad, on the other hand, was always a "pig," according to her, who was filthy about everything he did, and my desire to "live as a male" is almost entirely about repelling men, rather than attracting women, largely because I hate the thought of being dependent on someone as lazy and gross as my father (a man). My whole life is based upon female approval, particularly hers, not on male approval, attention, or anything from them. I also don't get why there are so many "sissies" in this community, because there is nothing "feminine" or "sissified" about a big, ugly, white diaper with a crotch so wide that you can't cross your legs if you want to while wearing it! Jwoww says it's wrong for women to wear granny panties, let alone something as bulky as a diaper, so my rebellion is about not caring what such women as her believe (and publish in little pink books for teenage girls with names like The Rules According to Jwoww). I'll bet Jwoww wouldn't be caught dead in a diaper, and the most masculine attire one can put on is a big, white diaper (or white briefs if you can't afford diapers) with no shirt. Nothing says, "I don't care about fashion or Jwoww's pink book!" like the outfit I just described.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelodgewrecker View Post
    in the end, i do think the connection between a girl and her daddy or father can be a very strong one, and it can set a pattern in her life for the rest of her life in how she relates to "that special man....."
    who else would i ever want to be a little-girl for if not for Daddy.
    (very soft smile)
    Interesting points you raise, Fiver. I don't really think my being an LG has much to do with my relationship with my Dad - in fact, the thought had never occurred to me. I always had a close relationship with him, and still do, so it's not like there was some unfulfilled need there. But I do look back fondly on how he treated me as a child, and his kindness towards children in general (he was a teacher, and an excellent one). So perhaps that gave a pattern for how I saw little girls as being treated. Your thoughts are interesting, and I'd love to hear what others think as well. Thanks for sharing.



    Quote Originally Posted by RobiBoi7 View Post
    Actually, no, that's not true!!! I'm considered a woman, and my #1 "hero" has always been Mommy Dearest, no matter how "mean" or "hateful" she can be!!! There've been times when she hit me and called me every curse word in the book, yet I still wanted to hug her as soon as she calmed down, then do whatever would please her (or stop whatever displeased her) in the future so she wouldn't go "off" like that again. My dad, on the other hand, was always a "pig," according to her, who was filthy about everything he did, and my desire to "live as a male" is almost entirely about repelling men, rather than attracting women, largely because I hate the thought of being dependent on someone as lazy and gross as my father (a man). My whole life is based upon female approval, particularly hers, not on male approval, attention, or anything from them.
    First, I'm very sorry for all you've had to go through. It must be very painful to carry all of that around. I hope you're able to find a lot of care and kindness on here.

    I think what Fiver was describing was a more ideal situation. Ideally, little girls will grow up with a wonderful male (and female) role model. It doesn't have to be a parent, but I still think it's important to have each sort of figure. And of course, a hurtful or negligent parent can be devastating, as I'm sure you know. Having a father who fell short obviously hurt a lot. And how we relate to our parents does set a pattern for how we relate to men and women later on.

    I'm sorry you've come to despise maleness, but I understand at the same time. We're not all horrible, after all If you ever want to talk to some men who aren't jerks, we've got lots of those around here. Thanks for replying!

  8. #8
    CrinklySiren

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    honestly, to me ive always felt like I was a girl.. i find myself wanting to look prettier, softer and ive always been the girl among my guy friends, ive always been the most feminine person among my group of friends even so among the girls. I still have a male side as i am Gender-Fluid, but i spend most of my time in my female side cuz its just how I feel most days. I can't really say i understand it or have a specific reason why, but when im feeling female i feel genuinely female, unfortunately because of the thing between my legs, unless people open their minds they cant see it, but most of my girl-friends talk to me as if im another girl and its not until i point it out that they realize that they've been talking to someone who is "physically" a boy. But knowing that they treat me as an equal is something that warms my heart ^_^ My girly side is even more so prominent when im little, and as the days progress im slowly starting to realize that I am only a babygirl because no matter how much like a cute baby boy i dress like, i just dont see myself as cute, but whenever i wear my blue or pink dress and my tights, i feel so inexplicably adorable and it makes me happy with who I am.

    Mind you, im not a sissy. I just dress how I feel.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZooeySis View Post
    honestly, to me ive always felt like I was a girl.. i find myself wanting to look prettier, softer and ive always been the girl among my guy friends, ive always been the most feminine person among my group of friends even so among the girls. I still have a male side as i am Gender-Fluid, but i spend most of my time in my female side cuz its just how I feel most days. I can't really say i understand it or have a specific reason why, but when im feeling female i feel genuinely female, unfortunately because of the thing between my legs, unless people open their minds they cant see it, but most of my girl-friends talk to me as if im another girl and its not until i point it out that they realize that they've been talking to someone who is "physically" a boy. But knowing that they treat me as an equal is something that warms my heart ^_^ My girly side is even more so prominent when im little, and as the days progress im slowly starting to realize that I am only a babygirl because no matter how much like a cute baby boy i dress like, i just dont see myself as cute, but whenever i wear my blue or pink dress and my tights, i feel so inexplicably adorable and it makes me happy with who I am.

    Mind you, im not a sissy. I just dress how I feel.
    Ditto.


    I used to really want to be a girl physically. But I realized that the physical aspects of being a girl are much less important to me. Being male and tall gives everybody a first impression of who you are, but after you know somebody for a while all the impressions you get from first appearance go away. I'm honestly semi-disgusted with what I was born with (actually genitals in general gross me out) but I've just come to accept it, because image is only important to those that you first meet.

    That being said I've had a lot of people (mostly girls) that tell me I'm more of a girl than a guy (which also makes me appear to be gay, which I don't really mind).



    Quote Originally Posted by Adventurer View Post
    I think what Fiver was describing was a more ideal situation. Ideally, little girls will grow up with a wonderful male (and female) role model. It doesn't have to be a parent, but I still think it's important to have each sort of figure. And of course, a hurtful or negligent parent can be devastating, as I'm sure you know. Having a father who fell short obviously hurt a lot. And how we relate to our parents does set a pattern for how we relate to men and women later on.

    I'm sorry you've come to despise maleness, but I understand at the same time. We're not all horrible, after all If you ever want to talk to some men who aren't jerks, we've got lots of those around here. Thanks for replying!
    I don't really think that we get our ideas of what it means to be a boy or a girl from our parents. One can grow up to fear men but still turn out masculine. I would say that most of what we learn about gender comes from interaction with other boys and girls. You don't see parents playing with barbies!

    To draw from another example it is commonly thought by many that if a gay couple raises a child, that child will also be gay. Having a gay, girly, masculine, etc. parent doesn't influence who you are later in life as much as what you learn from other kids, and the studies show this. You might also think that dressing a boy in pink clothing and sending him to ballet class will produce a feminine gay boy. This is not so. Boys and girls will choose who they want to emulate and most of the time this is other boys even in these cases. Boys raised with 3 other siblings who are girls don't turn out any more feminine then those raised in other households.

    To say it short: Parenting has little effect on gender expression after the age of 4, or when we first socialize with other children.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Becute View Post
    I don't really think that we get our ideas of what it means to be a boy or a girl from our parents. One can grow up to fear men but still turn out masculine. I would say that most of what we learn about gender comes from interaction with other boys and girls.
    Well, in my case, I was very much a loner throughout childhood, spending the vast majority of my time with at home with just my mom, sometimes my dad, and then my little sister once she was born when I was almost 9. I pretty much didn't have any friends, or at least not the kind I could go spend the night with after school, so I made my own choices about who I wanted to be based solely on all the disadvantages I saw for women, especially stay-at-home moms like my own. I wasn't a masculine little girl, I don't think, until I hit puberty at age 9, and even then, I still wanted to keep my Barbie dolls and girl things after I cut my hair at age 10, taking a Home Ec. class in jr. high in hopes of learning how to make clothes for them (which I did and still can), never playing a sport that wasn't part of our regular P.E. class (which I hated), and never spending a moment in Girl Scouts.

    But my issue with femininity is that I see it as masochism, because it is the act of a woman surrendering everything for the sake of her husband and children, and the Bible doesn't even pretend that this isn't true! Instead, you are made to feel guilty for even thinking that it would be better to wear a nice, warm pair of pants with a Christmas sweater instead of a red dress to church with a shawl that doesn't make one bit of difference, and at the tender, young age of 10, after an early childhood of loving my dolls and stuffed animals, I decided not to take part in anything that would require me to wear a dress between October and March. (I still thought colds were caused from "being cold" at that point and still haven't ruled it out.) I mean, why is my comfort and health any less important than that of someone born with a you-know-what? Why should I sacrifice my life for the gender that already has too much power and priviledge, wiping his kids' noses and bottoms because he has "better things to do" or can't do it right?

    I thank God I grew-up in a Baptist family that didn't even pretend that the roles of moms and dads were the same, because it allowed me to make informed decisions about whether or not I wanted to continue that trend or have a family of my own. I've been to church 100's of times and I've read the whole Bible, cover to cover, yet not a bit of it makes me want to be a wife and mother, so I'm pretty sure there isn't a human being who can. It's like, those of us who've heard "the truth," yet rejected that lifestyle have a better chance of "sticking to our guns" in the long run, rather than "selling out" to some rich guy who pretends that it's okay for us not to want any kids, but is secretly hoping to himself that we'll "change our mind someday." Well, I won't, and that is my #1 complaint about the role of a woman -- the role of "Mother." I would rather become anything else in the world besides some guy's "baby machine" and will do whatever it takes to preclude such a life.

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