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Thread: My movie

  1. #1

    Default My movie

    So I've been working on a screenplay now for a long time entitled "Canine Odyssey" (no connection to Homer) and finished it today at 90 pages (same length as Shrek). Tell me what you think. Canines in this movie have human like abilities.

    Main Characters:'
    Rivera Toomey - The protagonist of the film, he is a German Shepherd who often saves Durbis from getting in trouble.

    Durbis McNulley - Rivera's jail mate and good friend. He is a overweight Mastiff/Bloodhound mix.

    Satoru Najamata - The antagonist of the film, Satoru is a Akita who is a police detective that wants Rivera dead.

    Marissa Flanegan - A owner of her own trash business, Marissa is a Saluki that becomes a love of Rivera's.

    Akio Tarahashi - A accomplice of Satoru's, Akio is a Shar Pei who wants to prove he is intimidating despite his size and looks.

    Jacklyn Flanegan - A sister of Marissa's, Jacklyn has a caring but almost too trustful of nature.


    Now what I need help with is a logline that has a nice hook to it. It is one or two sentences long.

  2. #2

    Default

    When dogs learn new tricks, someone is going to roll over.

  3. #3

    Default

    What's it about, like can you give us a summary, because all I see is the characters.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Naleas View Post
    What's it about, like can you give us a summary, because all I see is the characters.
    I can try without giving out spoilers.

    Forgot a character: Jackson Robinson - A yellow lab who is a best friend of Rivera's, he is not the sharpest crayon in the box.

    Rivera and Durbis are fugitives who have repeatedly escaped from prison along with numerous other crimes. Rivera is struck by Cupid when he meets Marissa. Marissa is kidnapped by Satoru in order to drag Rivera to him. The movie takes place in Colorado, in which Satoru's lair is high up in the Rockies.

  5. #5

    Default

    Ok, so its a very basic plot, nothing too different than anything I have seen, but at the same time not a plot that has holes, or at least any I can see right now. I can't think of a tagline, but all I see right now that I have trouble with is who is Satoru, you said he is a police detective, but why does he have a lair and why are the "bad" guys all japanese? I think this could be a good movie but it may need lots of fine tuning.

  6. #6

    Default

    Satoru is named after Satoru Iwata of Nintendo and Akio is named after Akio Toyoda of Toyota, people I don't like for personal reasons.

    Satoru has a lair mainly where he holds people hostage and boils up schemes. I would go into more detail of what happens, but I dont want to spoil anything.

  7. #7

    Default

    This summer, theseold dogs are gonna learn some brand new tricks

  8. #8

    Default

    I like what you're going for Braddeh but thats more a advertising line in a trailer than a logline.

    How about this: In order to save a life from a long time homicidal police detective, three canines will have to work together to retrieve her while keeping themselves out of peril.

  9. #9

    Default

    These descriptions are pretty generic characters so leave little for people to judge it on, Rather than give us a short snippet do you want to sum up the plot + what sort of film/target market you're looking to appeal to here?

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by pajamakitten View Post
    These descriptions are pretty generic characters so leave little for people to judge it on, Rather than give us a short snippet do you want to sum up the plot + what sort of film/target market you're looking to appeal to here?
    Sure.

    Most movies with this type of content are G or PG. However, I've decided to be a game changer here by adding some mature content, the movie will most likely PG-13. Mature audiences will get a movie that wont be childish so that they're not embarassed or forced to watch.

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