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Thread: Having a baby....

  1. #1

    Default Having a baby....

    So me and the girlfriend Sarah have talked about having a kid. having picked up some steady work and wedding plans in the works, i was all for it,,,

    Roadblock 1

    Both SSI checks get cut in half if we get married

    Roadblock 2:

    she's had 4 depo shots. hardcore birth-control that makes women sterile if not monitored.

    Roadblock 3:

    she's allergic to the proteins in my sperm making conceiving very hard without a vaccine to counteract the allergy

    Roadblock 4: highly volatile mental stability

    with everything going on it is so hard to resist my AB side to just curl up in her lap and be her baby

    anyway is there anyway i can go about talking to her about how i feel?

  2. #2

    Default

    Perhaps now is not the best time to have a kid. From the sounds of it, it won't be brought up in a stable, secure environment.

    Roadblock 1:
    No money? Kids cost a lot.

    Roadblock 2:
    Well, you ain't going to have a kid if she's on that stuff.

    Roadblock 3:
    What.

    Roadblock 4:
    Please don't have a kid.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Oateson View Post
    Perhaps now is not the best time to have a kid. From the sounds of it, it won't be brought up in a stable, secure environment.

    Roadblock 1:
    No money? Kids cost a lot.

    Roadblock 2:
    Well, you ain't going to have a kid if she's on that stuff.

    Roadblock 3:
    What.

    Roadblock 4:
    Please don't have a kid.
    Well said. Please. You already don't support yourselves, what could having a child improve? Start with a guinea pig if you want to play house. Kids are a major commitment, and you really need to wait.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by incontinentGM24 View Post
    Well said. Please. You already don't support yourselves, what could having a child improve? Start with a guinea pig if you want to play house. Kids are a major commitment, and you really need to wait.
    exactly. If you really want a kid at a later date switch to an alternate form of birth control (like implanon, look it up, it's cool) Having a kid is VERY expensive. Thousands and thousands of dollars a year. And they require time and effort up the yin yang so DO NOT have a child if you can already barely handle the stress; you would now be responsible for a screaming, pooping money-sucker that you somehow have to turn into a decent human being. If you can barely handle yourself no matter how hard you try it'll be nigh impossible for you to give the kid the life it deserves. Please don't have a kid. Especially with the whole her being allergic to your semen (please telly me she's allergic to semen and not sperm) and that means either vaccinations or in vitro fertilization. Both of which are very expensive and not guaranteed to be effective. Kids aren't sounding very good for you right now... Oh! and for the SSI checks, have you considered having a wedding ceremony but not actually filing your marriage with the govt? you get to do the whole getting married thing without losing some critical income.

  5. #5

    Default

    5) You're 20 (and I'm guessing she is a similar age), you're barely an adult yourself. Kids can be great but don't waste the best years of your life, you're at an age where you can do what you want (within reason) so go exploring and have new experiences before settling down and raising a family.

  6. #6

    Default

    My responses are in bold.



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post
    So me and the girlfriend Sarah have talked about having a kid. having picked up some steady work and wedding plans in the works, i was all for it,,,

    Roadblock 1

    Both SSI checks get cut in half if we get married

    Don't get married

    Roadblock 2:

    she's had 4 depo shots. hardcore birth-control that makes women sterile if not monitored.

    Get off the shot.


    Roadblock 3:

    she's allergic to the proteins in my sperm making conceiving very hard without a vaccine to counteract the allergy

    No advice here

    Roadblock 4: highly volatile mental stability

    with everything going on it is so hard to resist my AB side to just curl up in her lap and be her baby

    Does this need to be 24/7? You can do it in your private time

    anyway is there anyway i can go about talking to her about how i feel?

    I will go along with what everyone else is saying, kids are expensive and you are only 20 so you have lots of time before you have kids.

  7. #7

    Default

    Don't you think you're a little young for kids? Twenty is pretty early...

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92 View Post

    Roadblock 1:Both SSI checks get cut in half if we get married

    Roadblock 2: she's had 4 depo shots. hardcore birth-control that makes women sterile if not monitored.

    Roadblock 3: she's allergic to the proteins in my sperm making conceiving very hard without a vaccine to counteract the allergy

    Roadblock 4: highly volatile mental stability, with everything going on it is so hard to resist my AB side to just curl up in her lap and be her baby, anyway is there anyway i can go about talking to her about how i feel?
    1. Honestly, kids are really bloody expensive! Like, REALLY expensive. I believe you're in America, and I reckon it probably costs money to just HAVE the baby, never mind all the equipment and food and clothes you'll need!

    2. I really don't think the depo shots make women infertile. In fact, I've taken the time to do a really quick google search, and it seems the only thing to be concerned about is possible calcium loss. (Depo Provera Black Box Warning – Birth Control Shot - Depo Provera Shot). The depo shot would NOT be marketed as birth control if it caused people to become infertile.

    3. I believe it will be the semen, not the sperm that she's allergic to. This is more common than a lot of people realise, however it normally only causes mild irritation. If it's just this then (as far as I'm aware) the recommended medical advice is to suck it up and get on with it. If it's a severe reaction then it's very possible that the whole thing just isn't going to work and you'll have to look at adoption or sperm donors. (Although, I'm not a medical professional, and even if I was you shouldn't take medical advice from strangers on the internet)

    4. Do you really think that having children is a good idea when you've got self admitted 'high volatile mental stability'? Like, kids are really easy to screw up, and I don't think it's fair to bring someone into a life where they won't be looked after properly. It's also a lot for your girlfriend to take on if she'll have to be looking after you, and then also a baby.

    Other points:

    5. If one (or both of you) have been able to get steady work, then it would suggest that perhaps the reduction in your SSI 'checks' shouldn't be a problem for you. If you're working, but not able to support a kid financially without SSI assistance then I would reckon you might not be ready to have kids.

    6. Dude, you're only 20. I'm going to be 23 and I know more than anything that I want to have kids soon, but you know what? I don't think I CAN look after a kid full time 24/7. They cry a lot, and they're stressful, and they need constant attention and love and... it's emotionally draining. I look after a baby as part of my job, and after one ten hour shift I'm knackered. If you've not got any experience looking after a baby then I'd recommend you get some. Ask someone you know with a baby if you can look after it for a practice. If you have it over night or for a weekend, I can guarantee you you'll probably realise you're not ready for it. If they say 'no' then that means they don't think you're ready for it, and they're probably right.

  9. #9

    Default

    If you're barely able to support yourself, let alone you and your wife, you should hold off on bringing a child of yours into this world people have said it many times in this thread but it bares repeating.

    Wait out on it until you're older and more stable financially, because taking care of a child is painstaking time, work and a lot of money to boot. And really, do you wanna spend your young adult years as a parent, when you could be "living it up" while you still can?

  10. #10

    Default

    If your on social security and cant support yourselves, Let a lone a kid...don't have a kid.

    The answer is no after the first roadblock. Not even reading the to others.

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