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Thread: Questions about Christians and ABDL

  1. #1

    Default Questions about Christians and ABDL

    Disclaimer: This isn't meant to sound like anything else than me asking questions, framed with the matrix I believe in, that I cannot and will not find answers to anywhere else.

    I've got some things that have been bothering me about Christianity, and since I've been a DL my whole life, and am working through that issue in the context of believing that a loving God created me. And I have a issue with that. and since that my pastor doesn't even know ABDL's exist, (Can't get him to say it's morally wrong) I'm kind of on my own.

    First, if you care about my back story, some of it is here.....http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...-quitting.html
    It seems like the happy people around this forum just accept who they are, and what they like, and move on. I have problems doing that. Partially because of who I got married to, and partially because of issues I have with accepting God's Grace.

    I've been saved from about the time I was a 5 or so, I think the Bible is the World of God, and whosoever believes on him can have eternal life. So just for the sake of my problems, lets assume that I'm still trying to believe the Bible is true. I've got some issues...Psalms 139:13-14, and I Cor 10:23, Phil 4:8, for the most part. And then those verses in Ephesians about loving your wife. I'm not going to type those out, mostly because I'm here to ask questions for me, and not to proselytize.

    And really, some of my main questions are, "is anyone at the point where they have a healthy family, are active in serving God, and involved in a church?" and if so, how do you balance and ADBL.... activity's? and... How open, or closed, are you about it?

    Anyway, I guess I just skipped over the whole issue of sexual sins, and moral purity, but you get kind of where I'm at. And part of that process is wanting to get advice from others. Thanks for your time.
    Jonathan

  2. #2

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    Hey, you know I have thought about this a bit over the years, and since I've been the way I am for well most of my life, it has bothered me some. But here's my take: I believe I am a good person I respect others and myself I'm generous with my talents and mostly lead what most would consider a good Christian life.

    So what about the AB stuff. Well it seems to me for whatever reason this is the way I am... If I deny this it makes me sad and frustrated which results in me feeling depressed....and feeling guilty... Accepting the part of me that needs special nurture in a way that does not hurt others makes me a happier more balanced person able to be more caring about others. How could that be bad.

    The only thing I struggle with is the secretive nature of this, but i dont believe hiding this is because its wrong or evil, but simply because society can't or won't try to understand the way that I am. I am afraid of being hurt and made to feel ashamed about something which I really can't change. I don't hate people because they don't accept difference, I feel sorry for them, but also sorry for myself that I am made to feel like a freak.

    I think that kept in balance this is not harmful, if I allowed this to take over my life then it might be considered something wrong, or if I neglected or harmed others for my own desires... That would be wrong.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by whiskeybravo View Post
    I've been saved from about the time I was a 5 or so, I think the Bible is the World of God, and whosoever believes on him can have eternal life.
    I believed in Father Christmas when I was five... :-/

    Sorry, I guess that doesn't help. I'm just saying that I wouldn't worry too much what Father Christmas thinks of me any more. Especially if Father Christmas was my creator -- it'd be his "fault" I turned out this way!

    I'm sure god didn't create you to be miserable.

  4. #4

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    It really saddens me to see the damage that religion does to people. Live your life. Enjoy your life. There's nothing wrong with your lifestyle. Anyone telling you different is not mistaken, they're just lying to you.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    I'm sure god didn't create you to be miserable.
    actually, god did. joy and pain are fundamental aspects of life, neither existing without the other, and form the bulk of the story of Jesus.
    love it, loathe it, live it.

    for the OP, while i'm happy to acept my flaws, they're still flaws and still produce great conflict within myself. you just get to a point of rationalization where the question looms, "how bad is this badness? is this my cross to bear?" and you deal with it from there. thinking of it as 'cross to bear' can lead to further resolution and the obvious sense that you're not alone in your solitude and misery.

    as with a lot of things in life, and possibly most people's lives, it's a case of making the best of a bad deal, however that fits. so, it's a pretty pragmatic and earthy thing, as is God, and therein lie the solutions.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    I believed in Father Christmas when I was five... :-/

    Sorry, I guess that doesn't help. I'm just saying that I wouldn't worry too much what Father Christmas thinks of me any more. Especially if Father Christmas was my creator -- it'd be his "fault" I turned out this way!

    I'm sure god didn't create you to be miserable.
    Like I said, some of this has got to framed around the idea that 1. There is a God, 2. Pain and suffering is in the world because man sinned, 3. God has a redemptive plan for mankind. 4. And that the Bible is the true.

    Somehow, that fits into ABDL threatening to rip apart my marriage. I'm not quite sure how, but that's why I'm asking about it.

  7. #7

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    Well, I'm a Christian, and I've come to accept my little side. It wasn't easy, but it's really changed things for the better. I'm not married and don't have kids, so I'm not sure if my thoughts are what you're looking for, but take what you find useful. Also, to others reading this: my reply is from a Christian perspective, and may not be relevant to everyone.

    I fought against my ABDL tendencies from when I became a Christian at 17 until I was 23. My reason was that I believed that diapers led me into sexual sin, and that I was breaking God's commandments. But here's the thing: where does the Bible tell us that being an AB is wrong? Well, such labels didn't exist at the time, but connecting with childhood to relax? Let me save you some time...there's nothing in there. Some may quote 1st Corinthians 13:11, saying that we're commanded to put childish things behind us. But in context, this verse is actually part of a discussion on how love will last longer than spiritual gifts such as prophecy. It's an analogy. The Bible does not say "Thou shalt not wear diapers!" or any equivalent, so don't worry. (Although I did always like Matthew 18:2-4: "He[Jesus] called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.")

    Now, there is an important caution. Being an AB or a DL isn't wrong in and of itself. But it can lead to sinful behaviour. This is why it's so important to maintain an active life of listening to God. Keep praying, searching the Scripture for answers, be involved with other Christians, and I really believe God will make the way clear. For example, being too engrossed in diapers can lead to pursuing diaper-related pornography, which I think goes against the commandment not to lust with our eyes (Matthew 5:27-28). So I know I need to set limits on how long I spend in diapers, to avoid falling into this trap. I also learned to embrace the more regressive side of things. Instead of seeking satisfaction in lust, I let myself feel soft and little, and the comfort really drives away lustful feelings. And priority number one has to be God. If diapers become an idol, it's time to back up.

    Wearing diapers can actually grow your walk with God, as they take away lots of pressure and self-loathing. Don't let guilt trap you. For freedom you were set free; do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. If you want to talk more or have questions, feel free to write me back anytime

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by whiskeybravo View Post
    Disclaimer: This isn't meant to sound like anything else than me asking questions, framed with the matrix I believe in, that I cannot and will not find answers to anywhere else.

    I've got some things that have been bothering me about Christianity, and since I've been a DL my whole life, and am working through that issue in the context of believing that a loving God created me. And I have a issue with that. and since that my pastor doesn't even know ABDL's exist, (Can't get him to say it's morally wrong) I'm kind of on my own.

    First, if you care about my back story, some of it is here.....http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...-quitting.html
    It seems like the happy people around this forum just accept who they are, and what they like, and move on. I have problems doing that. Partially because of who I got married to, and partially because of issues I have with accepting God's Grace.

    I've been saved from about the time I was a 5 or so, I think the Bible is the World of God, and whosoever believes on him can have eternal life. So just for the sake of my problems, lets assume that I'm still trying to believe the Bible is true. I've got some issues...Psalms 139:13-14, and I Cor 10:23, Phil 4:8, for the most part. And then those verses in Ephesians about loving your wife. I'm not going to type those out, mostly because I'm here to ask questions for me, and not to proselytize.

    And really, some of my main questions are, "is anyone at the point where they have a healthy family, are active in serving God, and involved in a church?" and if so, how do you balance and ADBL.... activity's? and... How open, or closed, are you about it?

    Anyway, I guess I just skipped over the whole issue of sexual sins, and moral purity, but you get kind of where I'm at. And part of that process is wanting to get advice from others. Thanks for your time.
    Jonathan
    This topic is near to me. As a Christian myself daily hoping to find favor in God's eyes, I understant your conflict.

    I looked up your passages and could not find a related theme between them so I cannot comment directly on them.

    Your main issue here seems to be with coinciding your desires with your marriage witch it seems is devoted to a Christian based environment. Your disires vs. your wife vs. your personal religious beliefs together as a couple. You seem to seek answers based on the harmony between the three. These conflict-of-interests seem to be your torment.

    Sadly, coming to this site will most likely result in responses trying to provide ways of 'rationalizing' your DL desires and not support answers to balancing them together as there may not be one realistically.

    I am not married myself but can imagine the struggle you are faced with.

    I can make only one suggestion: Prioritize. You may find your own answer after deciding what is most important to you first. Is it your marriage and your devotion to it? Is it your personal belief in God? Is it diapers?

    Remember that you don't have to jump into an emergency scenario here. I find that praying for strength or answers can sometimes lead to amazing revelations that I first thought may have been outside of my own scope of understanding. Those answers are only given to those that seek them.

    As for myself? I somehow have never felt guilty in the simple desires to wear but if my wife was 'genuinely' uncomfortable with me wearing then I know that I could put them away as I did from the age 13 thruough 38. The fascination with them would always remain but I have plenty of other interests to fullfill my time and energy.

    I wish you luck in your struggles and questions. May you find your answers and peace.

    I also want to shamelessly thank you for introducing the word proselytize to me. As I have never come across this word anywhere I had to look up it's definition and found selfish glee in being able to add it to my future vocabulary.

  9. #9

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    I think all your responses to the OP are helpful and insightful. Throughout my life diapers and sexuality, and my relationship with God were struggles for me. I tried the purge thing, unsuccessfully, though I stayed away from diapers for years sometimes. Like the OP, I struggled and to a certain level struggle now. Me and my wife are happy and we set limits. I don't have to wear when we are .... She's okay with me DLing by myself.

    Bottom line: we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. God does not make mistakes. But people do and there are those in any religion who will view things superficially. I would not tell anyone in my religious community about me because it does not affect my walk with God and they do not need to know. I keep my limits and know God and my wife are first.
    I hope and pray all goes well for the OP.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by whiskeybravo View Post

    Anyway, I guess I just skipped over the whole issue of sexual sins, and moral purity, but you get kind of where I'm at. And part of that process is wanting to get advice from others. Thanks for your time.
    I'm just going to pass on something that I think if helpful to remember in situations like this:

    The Truth can hurt; but not everything true hurts, and not everything that hurts is true. Don't be tempted to believe that the less challenging answer (in your case, that being ABDL is acceptable) is not true ONLY because it is more comfortable to live with.

    -----------------------------
    Edit:

    I thank whoever gave me that rep point, and assure them that the effort and personal sufferings required in the discovery of that insight make Mungo Park's explorations of the Niger seem but the merest stroll along the Regent's Canal in search of an Egyptian Goose. It certainly isn't the sort of self-evident emotional truth that only depressed people need pointing out, or come to realise only after a decade of self-torment. Oh No.
    Last edited by MsClara; 01-May-2013 at 03:41.

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