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Thread: it's a lifestyle not a fetish

  1. #1
    sissyslave

    Default it's a lifestyle not a fetish

    why do people call this a fetish? why do people use this as a fetish? to me it is a lifestyle. just as normal as being gay. as a baby, yeah i am incontinent but i dont get "happy" when i happen to do something in my diaper. i dont get how messing could make anyone "happy."
    (notice how happy is in quotation marks. i am not talking about joyful happiness).

    anyhoo. yeah i like the baby lifestyle, i enjoy the smell of my baby drawer (it kinda smells like the baby isle in the supermarket.)
    but as i said all of this is a lifestyle.

    to those with the fetish that get "happy..." what is it that turns you on about it?

  2. #2

    Default

    Fact is, you are fixating on an object. It is a fetish irrespective of your notion. I could easily take your words and apply them to myself, but I would not consider it a lifestyle on the basis that I don't like diapers as a choice. My feelings originate from some fundamental emotional or psychological element that I can't dictate and which has yet to be identified.

  3. #3
    sissyslave

    Default

    as i had said tho it is as natural to me as being attracted towards other men. homosexuality is fixating on the fact that i am attracted to other men, and it is not a fetish (nor is hetero sexuality for that matter).

    point being here i STILL dont get how someone falls into a fetish, i personally do not have any. and no adult infantilism is not a fetish to me, it is a lifestyle choice.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by doralover
    to me it is a lifestyle. just as normal as being gay.
    There are several issues to equating being AB/DL and being Gay. Another member covered that issue quite well here already: http://www.adisc.org/forum/diaper-ta...ml#post1030575.



    why do people use this as a fetish?
    It's not a matter of people using it, it's a matter of some people developing diaper fetishism earlier in their lives for whatever reason. We have a nice article explaining that: http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/220-fetishism.html



    anyhoo. yeah i like the baby lifestyle, i enjoy the smell of my baby drawer (it kinda smells like the baby isle in the supermarket.)
    but as i said all of this is a lifestyle.
    That's great you found an identity you like to live that makes you happy. A lot here do not live an AB lifestyle, a lot of others do: http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...lifestyle.html

  5. #5
    Countdown

    Default

    Damn, more of this? You certainly aren't alone in proclaiming (falsely) that infantilism isn't a fetish. There have been quite a few other discussions about this.

    It's considered a fetish (actually, a paraphilia, but the two terms are mostly interchangeable) because it's a unusual, intense fixation that is often sexual. I'm not going to say it's always sexual, but I have a hard time believing that it isn't sexual for most participants. I think that many people are afraid of the word fetish (because it implies that they are deviant, and most people don't enjoy being considered deviant) and that associating sexuality with baby paraphernalia treads dangerously close to pedophilia (and no one wants to tread dangerously close to that). I think that is why so many people like yourself are reluctant to consider infantilism a fetish or to admit that it is sexually stimulating.

  6. #6
    sissyslave

    Default

    but i am not sexually influenced OR EVEN aroused by it. in fact (getting off the baby topic...) when I am engaged in sexual activity, there is not infant stuff around me. it is just me and my partner. I mean in fact, when I am intimate with a partner, my ab life is the LAST thing on my mind. I dont wear diapers, or any of my baby style clothing.

    So no I am not "FALSELY" proclaiming that it is not a fetish for me. because it is NOT.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Countdown
    I'm not going to say it's always sexual, but I have a hard time believing that it isn't sexual for most participants. I think that many people are afraid of the word fetish...
    Yes for a lot there is a sexual component, but to say there aren't genuine AB people here is quite the contrary. And this case it seems blatantly obvious doralover is one of those.



    I think that is why so many people like yourself are reluctant to consider infantilism a fetish or to admit that it is sexually stimulating.
    For some others maybe, but the OP hasn't said otherwise.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by doralover View Post
    i dont get how messing could make anyone "happy."
    (notice how happy is in quotation marks. i am not talking about joyful happiness).

    to those with the fetish that get "happy..." what is it that turns you on about it?
    See it from my perspective...

    I don't get why anybody would choose to mess if it didn't turn them on. Sexual excitement is probably the biggest motivation to do anything that Humans experience, some people will risk ruining their life, their families lives and even kill to obtain it. Sexual excitement, or finding a means to experience it, is one of the most primal and powerful pursuits that Humans take part in. When people tell me that they dress up as a baby, wear diapers and crap themselves for reasons other than sexual pleasure I scratch my head and wonder why you'd want to do these things for any reason less than sexual arousal. I'm generally of the 'extraordinary behaviors require powerful motivations" school of thought, so when somebody behaves in an extraordinary way but gives a rather bland explanation of why they do it e.g "I like the smells" I find it profoundly confusing.

  9. #9

    Default

    This post is written speaking sort of directly to the OP,

    We have had similar threads recently and you can find some of the discussion about it going on here, though I'm not overly proud of my post in the thread: http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-bab...de-things.html . However it should show to you that many people are on your side, and you aren't alone in this regard. However, I do have more things to say.

    doralover, the best advice I have for you is to just not refer to it as a fetish yourself. It's not a fetish to you and you are completely in control of how you view it.



    1. An inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
    2. A course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment.
    3. The sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation.
    In the last thread, Talula made a wonderful point that to many people it is a fetish not under definition 3, but under definition 2 and I can't disgaree. There is a large amount of non-sexual AB's, those that will choose intense emotional pain and massive drama for the sake of this.. that calling this fetish is still technically a correct definition.

    Of course, it's understandable that even if this definition of it does apply to you, it doesn't ignore the feelings that you don't want to refer to as such because people are going to assume it means you like them in a sexual way. This shouldn't be ignored, because it's a real problem and you deserve some peace with this sort of thing. This means for you that other words are going to be more effective at communicating how you view diapers, and any other aspects of your ageplay or AB lifestyle. However the bottom line I feel is that if you have words that better define your experience, then you should use them but not expect the rest of the community to follow suit. I do too, and don't refer to what I'm doing as a fetish. However, many people are going to refer to it as a fetish because to many people it is. We all have a right to be whoever we are, and to define ourselves with our own words.. so please try to relax when others are calling it a fetish. They are just calling it what it is for them, which they have every right to as well.

    Just be clear about who you are when asked, what all it is to you, and know that no label attached to the interest can change who you are. Don't let your sadness at not wanting to be misunderstood keep you from being the sweet thing you surely are, don't lash out at the ones to who fetish is the correct term. I know that you can't understand why it is to them, but I personally find just giving people the benefit of the doubt, learning about why it makes them happy and trying your best to accept the differences in other people is really rewarding.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by doralover View Post
    as i had said tho it is as natural to me as being attracted towards other men. homosexuality is fixating on the fact that i am attracted to other men, and it is not a fetish (nor is hetero sexuality for that matter).

    point being here i STILL dont get how someone falls into a fetish, i personally do not have any. and no adult infantilism is not a fetish to me, it is a lifestyle choice.
    You don't exactly fall into a fetish. For the majority of us with fetishes we don't have a choice in the matter. I personally have been fixated on diapers since one of my first memories. When I grew older this interest developed into the fetish I have now. Sometimes having a fetish is exactly like being gay. You don't chose your sexuality and you can't really control what turns you on. Is it genetics or your enviroment or even some other factor? I don't know and neither does anyone else.

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