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Thread: Boyfriend just came out....

  1. #1

    Default Boyfriend just came out....

    My boyfriend told me this weekend that he is turned on by me wearing diapers and dressing like a baby. I want to be supportive...but I'm not gonna lie...I'm a little scared. I love him and want to marry him..but don't know how to handle this. I'm not sure if he likes to wear diapers..just me....I'm completely overwhelmed.

  2. #2

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    [QUOTE=rn74;1033830]My boyfriend told me this weekend that he is turned on by me wearing diapers and dressing like a baby. I want to be supportive...but I'm not gonna lie...I'm a little scared. I love him and want to marry him..but don't know how to handle this. I'm not sure if he likes to wear diapers..just me....I'm completely overwhelmed

    So correct me if im wrong but he accepts you for your fetish or lifestyle which ever one you have are scared? Most us AB/DL would love to have a partner that accepts for who we are

  3. #3

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    Talk to him about it and what he wants/expects/would like. Set boundaries/rules/etc. if it bothers you.

    When I came out to my partner, I did it within the first couple months. And basically said if we are going to stand a chance of being together we need to talk about what makes each other tick. So if you love me you need to know what I like and want, And I need to know the same about you.

    After that talk was done I told him if he can handle it lets stay together. If not you know where the door is and we can just be friends. Thankfully he decided to stay and we had a discussion about what we expected from one another and set our rules and limits. So far we have been going strong for 4 years. So that talk we had within the first few months was worth it in my opinion.

    Just my input on the topic. Not saying this will work for everyone. Hope it helps and you two have a chat either way about it some more.

  4. #4

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    It's difficult for anyone to say without knowing how you both feel about the topic. I would suggest sitting down with your boyfriend and talking it over with him so that you both understand what you both like and don't like, and how these things make you feel. Open and honest communication is the best way to go.

    I'm a bit confused by this post to be completely honest. Do you enjoy wearing diapers and dressing as a baby? Are you embarrassed to indulge in these fantasies around him? Does he want to treat you like a baby or does he just like the look of you as one? You both have to talk to each other and figure out what your feelings are on the topic. If he's supporting you but you feel uncomfortable, explain to him that you're not used to showing people this side of you. If he understands, he won't push the issue and it will become more comfortable over time. Unless you want this to be a very private thing. Don't rush your feelings.

    If he wants to indulge as well, how do you feel about that? Do you want him to? Do you want this to be private? Figure it out an come back to us with some more info so we can help. But, quite honestly, by the time you both talk it over and figure out your boundaries and feelings, you won't need our help.

    - - - Updated - - -

    It's difficult for anyone to say without knowing how you both feel about the topic. I would suggest sitting down with your boyfriend and talking it over with him so that you both understand what you both like and don't like, and how these things make you feel. Open and honest communication is the best way to go.

    I'm a bit confused by this post to be completely honest. Do you enjoy wearing diapers and dressing as a baby? Are you embarrassed to indulge in these fantasies around him? Does he want to treat you like a baby or does he just like the look of you as one? You both have to talk to each other and figure out what your feelings are on the topic. If he's supporting you but you feel uncomfortable, explain to him that you're not used to showing people this side of you. If he understands, he won't push the issue and it will become more comfortable over time. Unless you want this to be a very private thing. Don't rush your feelings.

    If he wants to indulge as well, how do you feel about that? Do you want him to? Do you want this to be private? Figure it out an come back to us with some more info so we can help. But, quite honestly, by the time you both talk it over and figure out your boundaries and feelings, you won't need our help.

  5. #5

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    Sorry--just re-read what I wrote and I wasn't clear. I'm not into this type of behavior. He is. But I'm not sure to what extent. I'm not sure if he is just turned on by me wearing diapers or if he himself likes to wear them. It's obviously a discussion we need to have--I'm just scared.

  6. #6

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    Then the best thing for you to do before going any further is think up all the questions you want answers to. Then have a mature one on one talk with him. That is the best you can do in the meantime. And if you need further help or need someone to help explain something he can't or is possibly having trouble explaining. Then come back.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by rn74 View Post
    Sorry--just re-read what I wrote and I wasn't clear. I'm not into this type of behavior. He is. But I'm not sure to what extent. I'm not sure if he is just turned on by me wearing diapers or if he himself likes to wear them. It's obviously a discussion we need to have--I'm just scared.
    It's a bit scary, obviously, to have something so unusual thrust on you like this. As others have said, the best thing you guys can do is talk it out. Find out what he would like to have happen, and let him know what you are and aren't comfortable with. Once you've defined your feelings a bit more, let him know what they are. You each have a right to understand and be understood by each other.

    An important thing to remember is that he's shown a lot of courage in revealing this to you. When I was debating revealing my AB side to my then-romantic interest, I went through horrible anxiety. Would she think I was some sort of freak? Your boyfriend has done something very brave, and more than anything, the best thing you can do is validate your love for him. Even if you're not comfortable participating (which is totally OK, by the way), what a lot of us adult babies and diaper lovers really want is acceptance. We want to know that the people we love will continue to love us if they find out this secret we carry. You may not want to take part in diaper play, but to give your boyfriend the gift of unconditional love and acceptance will be even more meaningful than simply taking part.

    Also, this has obviously been a real shock, but your boyfriend is the same guy as he was before coming out. That amazing dude you love and want to marry? He's still there, and he's always been there - and having an unusual fetish doesn't change that one bit! Of course, you'll have to decide how comfortable you are with the fetish, but whether that's "completely OK" or "I don't want to participate", he's the same man he's always been. Keep that in mind as you're sorting through this.

    By the way, welcome to ADISC. If you have any kind of questions, people around here are glad to help. Good luck, and let us know how the talk goes

  8. #8

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    I think you need some time to find more information as to what makes us tick. Go to wikipedia and type in infantilism. They have a lot of information. There are other sites which show us in a lesser light, and perhaps you should be aware of that aspect. You might also buy some tape style Depends and try them when you're alone so that you can experience them without anyone around. Little by little, you should be able to tell if you will be able to either tolerate wearing diapers, enjoy it, or hate it. If you can't abide it, you shouldn't participate in it.

    It sounds like he wants to "daddy" you and that's something different than wanting to wear diapers. He wants to see you as his baby. I think it's part of the BDSM range of infantilism. Hopefully you can gain the information you will need to make you comfortable or not. There is a lot of information on this site, and many conversations dealing with diapers, diaper wearing and having a mommy or a daddy. Try to read as much as you can and remember that we're here for you.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by rn74 View Post
    Sorry--just re-read what I wrote and I wasn't clear. I'm not into this type of behavior. He is. But I'm not sure to what extent. I'm not sure if he is just turned on by me wearing diapers or if he himself likes to wear them. It's obviously a discussion we need to have--I'm just scared.
    Well if you want to marry him then you will need to have this conversation, we can give a general overview of this sort of desire but only he can provide the details that will be unique to him. It's OK to be scared but in the long run this could cause some problems unless you both communicate openly and honestly. This won't go away so it will always be a part of him so if you don't like it you need to say now and not 10 years down the line.

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