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Thread: I think I've been caught by lifelong best friend! Need advice!

  1. #1

    Default I think I've been caught by lifelong best friend! Need advice!

    Wow. Never thought I'd be saying this after all of these years, but I'm pretty sure I just got caught. This really sucks!

    I've known this kid since kindergarten. We know each other better than our own families. We've lived together in an apartment for over 4 years now and I've been able to hide all activities until this moment.

    Here's what happened. Last night I used the snap plastic pants from ABU over a Goodnite. I washed them off in the morning, towel dried them, then left them under my half-bathroom's towel which was hanging on my towel rack in my half-bathroom so they could air-dry any residual moisture. Well, I was taking a shower while my roommate was in class, but he came home and used my bathroom cause he had to piss! After I got out of the shower, there was this awkwardness in the air (where he randomly tells me what he's doing on his computer, which he never does) meaning he was covering something up and keeping this quiet. It's quite apparent to me that he was just looking at ABU's website to find out what the hell was hidden in my hand-drying towel (seeing it's printed right on the tag of the fucking things). Now he knows I'm connected to some creepy ass adult diaper website.

    I think he needs to do more thinking and I sure as hell do too. The more he thinks, the more he's going to connect the dots-- like why I wash my sheets more often than him, etc. As much as I hate excuses and am all about confession, I still need a good excuse with advice, because I don't see talking to him about this subject a possibility. He could have even took a picture of them with his phone.

    I feel like crap. I've been a ninja since I was 15 with hundreds of disposables, and now a fucking pair of plastic pants is going to blow my cover.

    What the hell can I say?

  2. #2

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    I don't see why it's such a big deal to tell him the truth if he asks. You're not breaking any laws or shoving this into someone's face. You try your best to keep it private and he just happen to see a little bit about it is all. You are who you are and there's no reason to change that if it's not harming anyone.

    Besides, if he were to stop being your friend because of this interest then he isn't a good friend.

  3. #3

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    Sadly not much I can say really. I was caught by my father, rather not say how, as it is something I would like to talk about the specifics, as I want to put it behind me. But it was really awkward and he was beyond confused and freaked out. I talked to him and told him I was talking to my therapist about it, asked to let it rest. He seems to have taken it to heart and seems to have repressed it. Not really much of an excuse you can make to be honest, like my situation, there is nothing to say, just hope he lets it rest and never mentions it again.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Sadly not much I can say really. I was caught by my father, rather not say how, as it is something I would like to talk about the specifics, as I want to put it behind me. But it was really awkward and he was beyond confused and freaked out. I talked to him and told him I was talking to my therapist about it, asked to let it rest. He seems to have taken it to heart and seems to have repressed it. Not really much of an excuse you can make to be honest, like my situation, there is nothing to say, just hope he lets it rest and never mentions it again.

  4. #4

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    Aww feel really sorry for you ownage, this must be difficult. Try to get past the awkwardness with your friend though because that could kill your friendship, people will cross oceans to avoid awkwardness, it sucks. Maybe you should just bite the bullet and tell him or leave the plastic pants out visibly again and just brush it off with a breezy comment when/if he mentions it, be like "sure i like diapers sometimes, it beats getting out of bed to pee hahaha" You would get some teasing and joking but you could at least be talking and laughing about it; in this type of situation any sort of communication is better than none.

  5. #5

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    that first sentence is going to tough to get out, but if he's a true friend.... He'll listen. it's better you explain then let him go on with some wrong assumptions.

  6. #6

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    I feel really sorry that this happened... I can totally relate to how your feeling, but think carefully how you approach it. It's possible that he will not think as much of it as you imagine he will. In fact he may not even mention it. Sometimes when we find things that seem a bit odd, we tend to put it that .... I know I shouldn't go there place. I'd try and weather it a bit and see what happens. Good luck.

  7. #7

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    At the end of the day, it's better that you just come out and say it to him, if he's okay with it,
    then crisis averted! But if he's negative about it all, it's better to just try and sort it all out or if that isn't an option, lay it to rest.

    Just don't dodge the inevitable, anyway this goes, it's better to just be honest with a friend like
    him than lie about it straight to his face, that's the worst thing you could do.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by BraddyPoniTaku View Post
    At the end of the day, it's better that you just come out and say it to him, if he's okay with it,
    then crisis averted! But if he's negative about it all, it's better to just try and sort it all out or if that isn't an option, lay it to rest.

    Just don't dodge the inevitable, anyway this goes, it's better to just be honest with a friend like
    him than lie about it straight to his face, that's the worst thing you could do.
    Good advice, I think. I don't know, in this situation I feel like you might benefit from saying something rather than hoping he won't bring it up. You suspect that he went and looked up a website, so you don't really know where else that led, if anywhere, and what assumptions he could be making.

    Can you just walk up to him and say something like, "Hey, so... I think you may have seen something in my bathroom?" If he saw something and thought it was strange, he will definitely know what you mean, and he will probably infer that you are trying to be honest with him. If he saw something and didn't find it strange (or didn't see anything at all), then there will be an awkward moment of "uhh I don't think I did...?" but that won't last.

    In general it seems best to have the most control of the flow of information... the internet is a vast place and some of it is ugly.

  9. #9

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    This is a single incident where maybe he saw something. I think I'd let it pass rather than bring it up. If he wants to discuss it, he will. It's possible if the two of you throw down a few drinks, he might bring it up, or the discussion of kinking alternative lifestyles might surface. It seems to me that there might need to be an occasion to bring it to the surface. Otherwise, I think I'd let it die a slow death.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    This is a single incident where maybe he saw something. I think I'd let it pass rather than bring it up. If he wants to discuss it, he will. It's possible if the two of you throw down a few drinks, he might bring it up, or the discussion of kinking alternative lifestyles might surface. It seems to me that there might need to be an occasion to bring it to the surface. Otherwise, I think I'd let it die a slow death.
    Dogboy, I somewhat agree. At this point there is no reason to disclose the situation. If it continues to be awkward or if he brings it up, then I will highly consider saying something. I still don't know if I would go into the whole diaper thing instead of some plastic pants explanation alone. I'm quite sure he saw it based on this first impression, but he may not have even washed his hands which would mean I'm still a ninja in good standing.

    Might see if I can sneak onto his laptop and check out his Firefox history. He's not one who would normally delete browsing history. He's got a password but maybe I can check when he gets into the shower or something (when he doesn't put it into sleep mode.)

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