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Thread: How has coming out influenced you?

  1. #1

    Default How has coming out influenced you?

    I hope this is the right place for this, but all the coming out related stuff seems to go here anyway.

    Many of you have told someone they are close to about their passion. Often, this is something we do only after many years of keeping it a secret from everybody we know. So, speaking about it to someone you know can be quite a change.
    I would like to know from those of you who have opened up to an "outsider" what sort of difference it has made for you. Did you become more secure in practicing what you like? Did it help you to respect yourself as a person more? Did you even start to experience the whole thing in a different way?

    I rarely read about what consequences coming out had for someone, but after 15 years of keeping it all to myself I told a friend of mine. I loved wearing before that and I still do, but it really feels different to me in several ways since that.
    This is why I am curious. Maybe somebody had the same thing happen.

  2. #2

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    The biggest thing for me is the feeling of liberation, of freedom. I'm no longer worried about what these people, people who matter to me will say when they find out. It's the hardest thing about the entire situation to me, the just not knowing how they'll react. Once they know I can deal with it, once I know they won't like it I can at least cry all the feelings out and still get a sense of closure. However, the fact that over time I've either come out or have been found out by basically everyone I've spoken to has really allowed me to just be. I can just be who I am, without all the worrying and all the stress.

    This doesn't mean I make a super big effort to shove it in people's faces or anything.. but I don't have to worry about twitching every time I hear footstep. I can smile at the people who matter to me and feel more comfortable around them then ever before. Just knowing that a part of myself is not hated, but loved. It feels wonderful to be honest, and feels wonderful to find those people. So coming out has made a huge positive influence, even if the outcome was never good. It's allowed me to move on towards being happy, instead of wallowing in all the fear.
    Last edited by gigglemuffinz; 23-Mar-2013 at 02:15.

  3. #3

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    Personally, I'm still 'in the closet' but, with the door open... My family is still unaware that I'm still have this as an interest. Though, my aunt knows for the fact that after a vacation, I had brought some and trashed most of the package because I felt timid about having this interest. Now, I would still be nervous around her because she had to tell my mother about that incident.

    Some of my friends, those that I have told; don't even care... The phrase, "Whatever floats your boat" come to mind.

  4. #4

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    I too am still in the closet as far as my grown up friends and family are concerned. To be perfectly honest, this website is my first experience that even comes close to coming out, but that in itself has felt like a blessing for me. Only a few days ago I was feeling so trapped and alone that I considered letting my roommate "catch" me in a diaper, potentially sabotaging my friendship with her. I feel like coming out for me means reaching out to the right people, not necessarily letting everyone who's anyone know, and the experience thus far has been one of sheer joy and enlightenment!

  5. #5

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    I'm still in the closet with the exception of a handful of trusted individuals. I have no clue what the response would be from my family if I were to come out as an AB/DL or as someone that is slightly transgendered. (Although my COGIATI places me in Class 3, Androgyne). I'm just glad that my girlfriend accepts me for me and hits my calming buttons...

  6. #6

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    I first fully disclosed to my theropist and I was trembling while I did it. I had talked to one of my cousins in criptic messages, but after I joined this group I told her the whole story and found out she was toilet trained the exact same way I was and it has contributed to her mental health problems also. THen I told my wife and a lot of my anxiety problems stopped almost immediately. I still have not nor do I ever intend to tell my family and I am very gaurded about telling anyone else. THe next major challange is coming in June or July when my mother-in-lawmoves in with us. I already have an explanation ready if something happens, but I will deal with that at that time.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I first fully disclosed to my theropist and I was trembling while I did it. I had talked to one of my cousins in criptic messages, but after I joined this group I told her the whole story and found out she was toilet trained the exact same way I was and it has contributed to her mental health problems also. THen I told my wife and a lot of my anxiety problems stopped almost immediately. I still have not nor do I ever intend to tell my family and I am very gaurded about telling anyone else. THe next major challange is coming in June or July when my mother-in-lawmoves in with us. I already have an explanation ready if something happens, but I will deal with that at that time.

  7. #7

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    I'm still in hiding until this site come up. No friends know about it, no family knows about it. Plus I don't know how the family or friends would take the news that I wear diapers. I guess when the time come I will have to come forward and out right tell them. This site is helping me out a lot. There's people out there in the some boat as me.

  8. #8

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    During my senior year in college my mom found my diaper stash as well as some gay porn. Her response was to make an appointment for me with a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility, though I was an out patient. The experience was both scary and depressing. I had low self esteem anyway, and had tried to commit suicide on several occasions. The doctor gave me his home phone number should I try again, and we talked a little about diapers and infantilism. He felt I would outgrow it. Though he was aware of infantilism, I don't think the psychiatric community understood it.

    He was more concerned about my attraction to males, who for the most part were my age and a little younger. I was made to feel like I was crazy and a danger to society. In those days, 1970, you could be locked away in a mental facility just for being gay. Alan Ginsburg's poem "Howl" is about his confinement in one such mental facility. Life was tenuous if you were different from the societal norms.

    When I was dating my wife, I told her about my gay exploits and past loves, but not about my infantilism. I was too ashamed, and certainly my psychiatric experience and society in general contributed to those feelings of guilt. It wasn't until about 5 years ago that I had to come forth with an honest explanation when she discovered my diaper order from Amazon. As it turned out, she has been very supportive, and has bought me a number of babyish things such as my teddy bear and dog plushie, sippy cups, teddy bear footed jammies, etc. She'll write me cute notes for my lunch about her little baby in diapers, etc.

    So here it is. We've come a long way, baby, from the threat of confinement in a mental institution to some semblance of AB/DL pride. We may still be seen as freaks by some, but as others have said on this site, there is an acceptance of "what ever floats your boat". Believe me, it could, and has been worse.

  9. #9

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    I am still working through it. Only my fiancée knows, and it is still awkward. She is not hostile to it, but still thinks she may be able to change me from liking it. She has actually done some babytalk to me a few times, but we are still in the new stages of this.

  10. #10

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    Most of my friends and family know either by choice or by accident. Overall it has helped me feel like less of a freak as they all still love me and treat me the same.

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