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Thread: Writing my introduction feels like walking the plank

  1. #1

    Default Writing my introduction feels like walking the plank

    Ok, so maybe its not quite that bad, but I'm pretty used to having everything together, so pardon the nerves if they show as I'm about as calm as a cat's tail in a rocking chair factory at the moment. I was drawn to this community for the absence of tacky xxx content and the genuine sense of care that seems to be present. There can be a sort of beauty in letting down one's guard and embracing vulnerability, and I see some of that present here.

    I live in the Pacific Northwest and own a small woodworking company. I'm married to a good lady, and while there are no kids yet, we are thinking a puppy might be a nice addition to our "family" this summer. When I'm not working, (which I'm lucky enough to passionately enjoy my work most of the time), you can find me enjoying nature's best in the backcountry, usually with a camera in hand.

    I have urge incontinence and haven't told anyone, not even my wife who knows everything else under the sun about me. Its normally been a minimal issue but has picked up these last couple years. I have seriously contemplated telling her, but... there's a lot of "what ifs" that can be played on something as large as this and I'm just not up to it at the moment. I'm sure everyone here can relate. She's pretty smart, maybe she knows and is just waiting for me, one can hope to be blessed with this kind of grace. Anyways, this has been my allure to Adisc, and truth be told I think I might be a little DL curious, which frightens me in a way, WHICH.... I find hard to understand considering that I did a couple of majors in university in the social sciences and I consider myself very liberal minded. Life's funny that way, we can be completely accepting of our friends and neighbours yet when it comes to our own self, we suddenly think we live in a glass house. Oh, the joys of socially induced confusion Anyways, I'm a newbie to all of this. Thanks for having a welcoming site.

    One question right off the bat, is my email address that I used to register kept completely private?

  2. #2

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    Hi and welcome to the community. Your introduction was fine, no need to feel nervious, we are all friends here. I see you're thinking of getting a dog. That sounds great. I have a yellow lab and she is a great friend and loyal companion. She does get bossy when I get home from work (she wants to eat ). Owning your own woodworking company must keep you very busy. I'm a software engineer at a large tech company and that is what keeps me busy.

    I found this site a few weeks ago myself and found it to be very helpful. There are good conversations and topics to choose from. I hope you will find them informative too.

    I haven't seen any email addresses listed anywhere. I would assume and hope that they are kept private. You can always post and ask that in the requests forum. I'm sure one of the adisc staff members will answer that for you.

    Once again, welcome and hope to see you around the site.

  3. #3

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    Hey there, ScientificArtist! Welcome to ADISC. I always enjoy seeing intros from non-AB/DLs and AB/DL-curious people, as they suggest ADISC is doing a good job of keeping itself friendly and clean. As you have apparently seen, it's rather easy for communities based (in part) on fetishes and other matters of sexuality to wind up in the gutter.

    And I'm happy to welcome another Pacific Northwesterner! Interestingly, the Pacific Northwest seems to be something of an AB/DL hotspot. Vitamin D deficiency, perhaps? Who knows!

    That's cool about the woodworking. I come from a family of woodworkers, but the bug skipped a generation: Mine. I feel a bit guilty that my father, who still spends his spare time making everything from rifle stocks to furniture, managed to produce such an unhandy son, a least when it comes to traditional mediums. Still, when I had the opportunity a few years back, I picked up a beautiful like-new 1953 Shop Smith 10ER that had been stuffed in the back of somebody's garage for decades. When the rare need for sawing or drilling arises, I do enjoy pulling that thing out and firing it up -- such and wonderfully funky piece of equipment.

    I expect your wife will be supportive, especially as becoming incontinent was clearly not a choice you made. Still, I understand how such a thing would be difficult to admit to or bring up. Like most people here, I've spent plenty of time keeping certain things to myself! My wife only found out about my DL side about a year ago, and we've been married for more than thirteen years. Yes, I really ought to have "come out" sooner, but... it's hard! I spent my whole childhood hiding it too, and at some point the hiding just becomes second nature and you find yourself keeping secrets without meaning to be secretive.

    Anyway... there goes a wall of text! Welcome aboard, and I hope you enjoy the site.



    Quote Originally Posted by ScientificArtist
    ...is my email address that I used to register kept completely private?
    Yes indeed. The Primer states this as well, in case an official source makes you feel better -- probably! That's not to say that your email address won't get used. The forum software can notify you when you have unread private messages, when people quote you, etc. You can turn these automatic emails off in your Settings if you don't want them.

  4. #4

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    Howdy and a hearty welcome to ADISC from a fellow PNW resident. I hope you make some good friends here and find plenty on interesting topics to engage in.

    I agree with Cottontail, it's very likely your wife will be supportive and understanding of an incontinence issue. How have you managed to hide the symptoms so far?

    As for being DL-curious, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm amazed at the number of incontinent people who are not only thankful for diapers, but end up loving the comfort and security they provide.

    So, on to an important topic here in the PNW: What's your favorite local beer? I love Manny's!

  5. #5

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    Wow, the PNW is really well represented here on adisc, maybe its because of our easy going, generally liberal attitudes, but the lack of vitamin D probably has more merit! Thanks for the warm welcomes. I appreciate the reassurances about the privacy of the email / sign-up information.



    Quote Originally Posted by 11hinzvic View Post
    Hi and welcome to the community. Your introduction was fine, no need to feel nervious, we are all friends here. I see you're thinking of getting a dog. That sounds great. I have a yellow lab and she is a great friend and loyal companion. She does get bossy when I get home from work (she wants to eat ). Owning your own woodworking company must keep you very busy. I'm a software engineer at a large tech company and that is what keeps me busy.
    The woodwork business keeps me busy about 60 hours a week, but they're enjoyable hours and its a career I'm grateful for. Its really nice waking up excited about work. I spent a summer with a yellow lab back in my teens and she was the most loyal companion I have known to date.



    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    ...when I had the opportunity a few years back, I picked up a beautiful like-new 1953 Shop Smith 10ER that had been stuffed in the back of somebody's garage for decades. When the rare need for sawing or drilling arises, I do enjoy pulling that thing out and firing it up -- such and wonderfully funky piece of equipment.

    I expect your wife will be supportive, especially as becoming incontinent was clearly not a choice you made. Still, I understand how such a thing would be difficult to admit to or bring up. Like most people here, I've spent plenty of time keeping certain things to myself! My wife only found out about my DL side about a year ago, and we've been married for more than thirteen years. Yes, I really ought to have "come out" sooner, but... it's hard! I spent my whole childhood hiding it too, and at some point the hiding just becomes second nature and you find yourself keeping secrets without meaning to be secretive.
    I love those old shop smith machines, the simple ingenuity in their design is great. You're right about the nature of hiding it, as it becomes engrained in a person. Maybe I'm worried that she might push for other options like medications or surgeries, although this in reality is most likely a fear played by my insecurities on the subject since she has given me no reason to think otherwise. I'm just not a big fan of any invasive procedure.



    Quote Originally Posted by ultrapampers View Post
    Howdy and a hearty welcome to ADISC from a fellow PNW resident. I hope you make some good friends here and find plenty on interesting topics to engage in.

    I agree with Cottontail, it's very likely your wife will be supportive and understanding of an incontinence issue. How have you managed to hide the symptoms so far?

    As for being DL-curious, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm amazed at the number of incontinent people who are not only thankful for diapers, but end up loving the comfort and security they provide.

    So, on to an important topic here in the PNW: What's your favorite local beer? I love Manny's!
    Believe it or not, my favourite beer is Weinhards Root Beer, it tastes great, doesn't have me peeing every 15 minutes, and I can still drive after having a couple.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ultrapampers View Post
    How have you managed to hide the symptoms so far?
    I'm a fast thinker (chuckling to myself about some of the silly things I've done to keep it a secret). In all honesty though, there are solutions for every problem. When out of the shop I keep a small camping type of toilet in my work trailer. I can go in through the man door, lock it behind me and do my business. Or, there is often functioning plumbing on site. Sometimes though you'll find me inspecting the shrubbery if i get caught in a pinch lol. At home is pretty easy as there are multiple washrooms and I have lots of underwear. I've had a lot of accidents, most small enough that if I put the underwear and pants in the bottom of the laundry bin they pretty much dry by laundry time a few days later, the larger ones I get creative, sometimes I throw them in the bottom of the shower so they're pretty clean by the time I'm done my shower, and I'll have clothes drying out of sight. I remember one time I accidentally forgot that I left a pair of washed out underwear hanging from the soap tray in the shower. When my wife went for her shower the next morning I had some quick thinking and explaining to do. Traffic can be the biggest hurdle, I've found myself stuck in the middle of a 1 hour commute, tears streaming down my face from the pain in my kidneys of trying to hold it in and quickly being unsuccessful at that, shamefully asking for the bathroom key at a gas station so I can change. That for me has been a lesson in humility. I was a little boy genius in university and had an *ahem* shall we say 'well developed' if not downright immature ego to accompany my successes. So a little 'learned humility' was obviously in my karmic cards lol. Did I mention I always carry a spare change of clothes with me. I've learned which gas stations, restaurants, coffee shops etc have clean washrooms. I've also changed a lot psychologically. I used to carry around an "I'm top dog, don't even so much as look at me" Alpha male attitude; not to say that I would go out of my way to be mean, but rather I was trying to protect myself I suppose from being hurt by my problem. Now days I try to soften up a lot more, carrying a soft and gentle demeanor upon my face I generally am treated with tact and compassion when I have to ask for the family washroom key at a coffee shop and it's fairly obvious what has happened. I find if I can find it in myself to stand tall and not devalue my self worth during public interactions such as having to ask for the family washroom key, and my eyes are saying, "I'm human, I'm imperfect, and I'm worthy just like everyone else here. Please don't judge me." that generally I'm treated well and my point of view on the world becomes reinforced as one which welcomes humanistic tendencies, embracing people instead of ostracizing them.

    Lately I've started wearing a pull up diaper and am finding that it's been a big confidence booster, although it has presented a new set of challenges. Anyways, hope that answers your question Ultra.

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