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Thread: Modern Masculinity Discussion

  1. #1

    Default Modern Masculinity Discussion

    The state of modern masculinity and the supposed ideal male gender role has long been an interest of mine since it not only affects me on a personal level, but also my interaction with peers and women in general.

    I'm writing this topic after hearing about the Men's Initiative and conference that's happening on my campus that's sponsored by our Women's center. I was actually quite excited. There was also a backlash by a number of men that called the men that created the project "effeminate," "feminist collaborators" and other choice phrases I won't mention here. Some of these guys were even my age.

    As a male is who is not only bisexual and has AB/DL interests, I found this very frustrating.

    So pretty simple, what do you think it means to be male in this day and age?

    The conversation isn't strictly for the XY variety either, and try and keep it polite.

  2. #2

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    I think that the sense of maleness may change as one gets older. When I was young, I tried to fit into the stereotypical image that one perceived from other adult males, male peers, and the images portrayed on television. Now looking backward with the perspective of a 65 year old, it all seems like so much rubbish.

    As a youth, I lifted weights, got into a lot of fights, played sports, and spent a lot of time trying to prove my manhood. As you can imagine, in my room I was compelled to wet my pants and make makeshift diapers. I hated myself for those feelings. By the time I was 16 I was beginning to notice other guys as much as girls, and I had trouble understanding all of this. By the time I went to college, I had had enough, and hooked up with a guy. It was the second half of the 60's, a time for self expression and being yourself. I'm glad I chose that road.

    Upon graduation, I wanted to fit into society, have a job and family, and so left college completely behind me, and eventually moved to Ohio where I found my wife and started my family. I have no regrets, and I love my family. But there is still that which makes me the complicated person I am, living inside me.

    So what makes a man? It all hinges on perspective. Living in Virginia, a very conservative state, one would get the impression that men are these masculine rednecks who love their guns, enjoy hunting and drinking, and in general, aren't too bright. That's a part of Virginia, but only a part. There are colleges and universities, and all sorts of businesses with educated people working. Simply put, there are all kinds of males, and stereotyping will always be false. What's important, is that each person, male or female, can be themselves and not be judged by everyone else. Every person is a little different than the next, and taken as a whole and put on a wide spectrum, we run the gamut from one extreme, through the middle and ending at the other extreme. I pray for the day when none of that matters.

  3. #3

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    To wear men's clothing and present yourself as male.
    Gender roles have been around for a long time. But now in days, when you bring attention to them, you're usually just being sexist.
    I personally can't stand them. You shouldn't expect a person to be a certain way or do certain things because of what they are.
    Everyone's into their own thing. You don't need to fit anybody else's image of you.

  4. #4

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    From what I've seen in general, I think the only major change is it is no longer about being big, hairy, sweaty, etc. type stuff. It does seem there is more wide range of "acceptable looks/behavior," though the may of always been the case as well. *shrugs*

  5. #5

    Default

    Hey!

    Very interesting question. You ask: "So pretty simple, what do you think it means to be male in this day and age?". I think "diversity management" is a global trend. It's a theory of management which advocates the embrace of diversity, as it is supposed to benefit your efficiency. It's a good starting point to talk about gender identities because in this day and age (especially in bigger cities, in more rural regions it's probably quite different) it seems to be, that society allows pretty much every expression of gender identity, as long as you keep being a productive member of the work force. Since a couple of decades or so we saw the worldwide uprise of psychotherapy, which universalises supposed-to-be-feminine values as introspection and such. So I think the trend is that there is no clear, essential "femine" or "male" stereotype anymore.

    Of course, this trend has its disadvantages of its own. With difference as one of the recently leading ideologic keywords of capitalism, it means to express your true self, which puts you under a lot of stress. There is no "just watch a cowboy movie, that's what a man looks like!" kind of gender education any more, but you have to find out for yourself. And if you don't do it right, then, please, don't get angry if you can't find anyone who is attracted to you.

    ... gee. It got late! I gotta go, but I'll be back later :-) This topic is very interesting.

    Hope my grammar didn't mess up what I tried to say

    cheshire

  6. #6

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    I'm a few bisexual, but I really don't like thwmoen look at the men. Looks horrible.

  7. #7

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    In my opinion. When you achieve a certain level of wisdom, you become a man.

    If you were to ask most young males they will probably say "sex makes you a man" or at least that's the general consensus where I live. =_=

  8. #8

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    Personally I like the the make gender role, I enjoy hunting, fishing, I drive a truck and work I construction. However I would hate to be bound to them and for that I am glad gender role are dying.

  9. #9

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    The problem we face these days is that we're expected to keep our emotions inside and under control at all times, crying is bad and feminine and we must never share our true feelings with other men. It is a recipe for disaster as you can't keep everything inside forever as it isn't healthy. We need to make it so that it is seen as acceptable for men to show sadness and remember that there is nothing wrong with seeking help if you need it. The idea of the physically manly man is disappearing but the idea of the cold, silent manly man is still ever present in society.

  10. #10

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    [QUOTE=dogboy;1015214]

    I think that the sense of maleness may change as one gets older.
    Not so sure about that. I'm close to your age, but I don't think my 'sense of maleness' has changed much.




    As a youth, I lifted weights, got into a lot of fights, played sports, and spent a lot of time trying to prove my manhood.
    Still do, difference being that I never got into fights. Didn't have to. As a wrestler in high school and college, I had an outlet for my aggression. Outside 'the room', being on the team was enough that people didn't want to mess with you. These days, other competitive sports give me the outlet. The only frustrating thing is that performance has been in its inevitable decline for the last 15 years or so.




    So what makes a man? It all hinges on perspective. Living in Virginia, a very conservative state, one would get the impression that men are these masculine rednecks who love their guns, enjoy hunting and drinking, and in general, aren't too bright. That's a part of Virginia, but only a part. There are colleges and universities, and all sorts of businesses with educated people working. Simply put, there are all kinds of males, and stereotyping will always be false. What's important, is that each person, male or female, can be themselves and not be judged by everyone else. Every person is a little different than the next, and taken as a whole and put on a wide spectrum, we run the gamut from one extreme, through the middle and ending at the other extreme. I pray for the day when none of that matters.
    This is all the sort of introspective nonsense that women like. They don't necessarily like it in a man, however. A gay friend, perhaps, but not 'their' man.

    I'll have to hunt down a study I stumbled across a couple months ago. Said something along those lines, that women liked men with more effeminate, sensitive qualities, but those men tended to get laid less.

    Personally, I lean toward the Jeff Foxworthy school of masculinity. "I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something nekkid"

    ----
    Edit: OK, maybe with a little addition. "I'd like a beer, I'd like to see somthing nekked, and I'd like a fresh, dry, fluffy diaper"

    Whatever.

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