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Thread: Any other AB's with a significant age gap from their partner?

  1. #1

    Default Any other AB's with a significant age gap from their partner?

    I know this forum caters to a wide variety of people so I was wondering if anyone else had a similar interest/situation. Many would like a mommy/daddy. I have been dating someone for 4 years who is 37 years older than me. I am gay, but I donít think that is very relevant to the current topic. He is almost 80 and I am in my early 40s. There is NO age play and he knows NOTHING about my being an AB. I am terrified that that would damage the relationship that we have. I started dating him before I acknowledged my AB side.

    Does this sound familiar to anyone? Or am I unusual in a group that is already a bit off the beaten path?

  2. #2


    I, too, have a large age gap from my partner. He is 45 and I am 22. I have also not told him about my AB side, and I fear he would be freaked out if he knew. We started off as only friends, so I didn't tell him from the start, and I was too scared to say something when things started going in a new direction for us. I'm now trying to find a time and way to slowly introduce the idea to him.

  3. #3


    I don't really see the correlation between your age difference and your desire to share your AB side with him. While I've not gone through it myself, I've seen others go through the same situation. Sometimes it's worked out well, other times it hasn't. There's not a formula or such, because everyone, and every relationship, is different. If you're wanting to tell him to get him involved to be your daddy, but there's already no age play in the relationship, I think you're hoping for more than you'll get. It's natural to want to share everything with your partner, and if you intend to tell him, the longer you wait, the harder it will be (most likely). At the same time, if you don't tell him, and he finds out another way, that's a whole different issue to deal with. As I said, I haven't dealt with it myself, but I'm of the belief that partners (particularly long term ones) are meant to share things with each other, and hiding big secrets leads to issues down the road, but that's just me. But again, each person and each relationship is different, and only you can really know if you should tell him or not.

  4. #4


    It looks like I wasn't clear, sorry. I do not see a time I would be able to share the AB side with him. It would be nice, but... sigh.

    I was wondering if other ABs ended up partnering with people who were old enough (or experienced/worldly enough) to be an actual mommy or daddy.

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