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Thread: GinaW's Plight, and the cause of ABDL tendencies

  1. #1

    Default GinaW's Plight, and the cause of ABDL tendencies

    Hi All,

    I'm new here but I have been an AB and/or DL for 60 years now. I'm posting this as a new thread because I'm looking for responses regarding imprinting as the cause of ABDL tendencies.

    I can imagine how traumatic it must have been for both GinaW and her teenage son when she discovered him "playing with himself in a pair of Depends adult diapers". She must have been completely dumfounded by the incident and her son must have felt shocked and deeply embarrassed. No doubt both feel a fair amount of guilt over this, and Gina was desparately looking for some explanation for this behavior.

    I was impressed by the numerous compassionate and intelligent responses given by members here. Personally though, I have never been satisfied with any of the conventional, Freudian, explanations given for this intense desire to be babied and/or diapered. I am curious as to why there has been no mention of imprinting in response to GinaW's post as it seems, to me anyway, to be the most logical explanation for this behavior. (If it was mentioned I missed it and I apologize).

    Imprinting is one of the ways humans and animals aquire certain characterstics and behaviors. A classic example often given of imprinting in the animal world is that of baby ducks. Shortly after a duckling hatches it "imprints" on it's mother and starts a pattern of following her around. You may think the duckling is born with the tendency to follow the mother but this apparently isn't the case. If the mother isn't present at the right time, the duckling will imprint on practially any nearby moving object of reasonable size. And it can even be an inanimate object. Researchers have had ducklings imprint on their boots and the ducklings would act as if the researcher's boot was it's mother. This shows that imprinting does not always have logical or evolutionarily sound results.

    Imprinting occurs relatively suddenly at critical times in our developement and tends to cause permanent, lifelong, traits and behaviors, and is distinct from the "normal" method of aquiring information through the process of learning. Learned desires can be unlearned. Imprinted desires can't be unlearned. Recent studies in human sexuality lean towards the idea that even our sexual identity (male/female), and our sexual orientation (hetero/homo) are imprinted characteristics. This could explain why some of those born as males feel they are really female and vice versa.

    Human developement is a complex mix of genetic, learned, and imprinted, information accounting for the many variations in our behavior, both sexual and nonsexual. I firmly believe imprinting is the root cause of ABDL tendencies. These desires are permanent and will have a lifelong effect on the individual. If you are reading this, GinaW, I hope you and your son will realize that what occurred in the past to cause this ABDL fixation was a random act of nature, totally beyond human awareness and control. It's not the fault of either of you. It just happened.

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Default Re: GinaW's Plight, and the cause of ABDL tendencies

    We may never know the cause. That appears to be the most reasonable answer.

  4. #4

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    It's funny but you view on this seems to mirror mine the most of all the theories I have found on here. I read at some point an article about how our 'sexual' imprinting seems to occur between the ages of 4 and 7, where small seemingly meaningless events can cause a permanent change in what leaves us excited. Of course as a child, the hormones responsible for this reaction greatly differ from those that occur at puberty and what seems to happen for it to become a fetish is that they become associated with the ones responsible for sexual excitement at a certain age. Generally you never know what sort of thing will leave your child imprinted and what won't; why one particular event results in many fetishes in one person while in another no real fetishes ever present themselves.

    I used to think that perhaps the theory of sibling rivalry could possibly explain this sort of thing, where an older child vies for the attention of the parents after the birth of their younger sibling, partially due to the fact that after my brother was born I remember the most small experiments in trying to use his things, climb into the crib and such. This doesn't really account for people who are only children or were the youngest child.

    Oddly enough, the more effort I put into trying to figure out, the more memories I started to unlock, ones that I knew for a fact were real because I still remembered the accompanying emotions, which made me realise that in fact, what would eventually become my ABDL tendencies actually started at the age of 4. This occurred three years prior to the birth of my brother, thus I could infer that he was only the source of opportunity to do what I had increasingly over time desired to do anyway.

    I had quite a tremendous life change at the age of four and so it is actually one of the most memorable years of my life in terms of my childhood, and over the past year, having come to terms with the fact I posses them, I began to realise why exactly I developed my fetishes. All the occurrences after this point simply became anchors for me to be able to delve deeper into my childhood fantasies.

    So I do agree with you that this sort of imprinting being one of the most logical, at the very least, partial sources to one developing this sort of fetish-related behaviour.

    To give an example of how this could happen, take under consideration a child whose parents suddenly both start working full time after years of always being centre of attention. The child is still at a very sensitive age and fully experiences the sudden lack of attention from their parents and attempts to somehow recreate their feelings of security on their own, rather unsuccessfully. The child then sees their babysitter taking care of another much younger child or perhaps a commercial on TV with a similar sort of scene. Let's say the child slightly misbehaves in trying to gain attention and their caretaker at that moment threatens them that if they keep misbehaving they will put them in diapers or treat them like the other child or like the scene in the commercial because they are acting 'supposedly' immature. The child is so hungry for attention that this threat is seen as a positive thing. The child reacts negatively but later fantasizes about being younger or more immature because then their parents would stop working or people would pay more attention to them and they project this need of security onto the objects that to them are a symbol of being cared for, even if they haven't come across these objects for years. These objects become a replacement for what they desperately crave from their caretakers, and as they grow up it can become part of their sexual identity as their brain has already been imprinted with the specific reaction these objects elicit for the person.

    This is quite a complicated example, but I am just trying to explain the process of how this might happen, and why it takes such a stronghold on that specific person's personality. It's actually why it's so difficult to get rid of this sort of fetish. The stimulus reaction has been so strongly programmed into the psyche of the person that it would probably take years of therapy to decrease the magnitude of the reaction and in the end it wouldn't necessarily be worth it especially if it doesn't actually interfere with the person's life and is simply a fetish, rather than a compulsion.

  5. #5

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    I find any proposed "explanation" for the "cause" of AB/DL-ism to be utterly unconvincing given the lack of reliable data on the matter. Hell, from what data we do have (which is mostly a jumble of anecdotes as opposed to any well-ordered and collected information), it would seem to me doubtful that there's anything even resembling a generalized "cause." Strikes me as a rather pointless endeavor to search for or even posit one.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by LazyAB View Post
    I find any proposed "explanation" for the "cause" of AB/DL-ism to be utterly unconvincing given the lack of reliable data on the matter. Hell, from what data we do have (which is mostly a jumble of anecdotes as opposed to any well-ordered and collected information), it would seem to me doubtful that there's anything even resembling a generalized "cause." Strikes me as a rather pointless endeavor to search for or even posit one.
    I don't think we should ever try to push everyone into the same bucket in terms of cause, but I do think it is somewhat important for people to attempt to come to terms with who they are in terms of this sort of thing, and that would include some attempt to figure out why they developed the way they did.

    This is simply one possibility out of let's say 20 that can happen, and considering the varying degrees of ABDLism and sexual fetishes out there, it can apply to some people but perhaps not most. Ignoring it because there isn't any qualitative evidence on the topic is sort of callous, as for many people getting some idea why it could have possibly happened to them does in fact help them come to better terms with it and be less self-critical.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by JubeyKitty View Post
    as for many people getting some idea why it could have possibly happened to them does in fact help them come to better terms with it and be less self-critical.
    I don't doubt this, but to me this seems to be beating around the problem of self-acceptance instead of dealing with it head-on. The fact is, while it might indeed make one feel better to believe that, in their case, this was "caused" by something, that is ultimately a (tenuously-founded) rationalization. It likely has very little bearing on the actuality of their AB/DL desires, and I'd argue it's preferable to help people to accept themselves for what they are because that is what they are, not by redirecting this onto some "cause" without any good rationale for doing so.

    Past that, I feel that by ascribing a "cause" to this you presume a certain level of simplicity in human emotional and sexual needs that simply isn't there, and you limit your own ability to accept that things can not always be neatly compartmentalized and rationalized, and that occasionally you need to work on simply accepting what is without worrying about why it is. Some things are complicated. This, I think, is quite clearly one of them.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by JubeyKitty View Post
    So I do agree with you that this sort of imprinting being one of the most logical, at the very least, partial sources to one developing this sort of fetish-related behaviour.
    I tend to believe that imprinting is the primary source in aquiring a sexual fetish. What forms these desires and behaviors take after the initial imprinting would certainly reflect the complex emotional, psycological, and environmental influences that are present.

    Sorry to be so short but I have to go earn some money. Thanks for the onput.

  9. #9

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    The imprinting theory has been around for a while and I've seen it used here in several discussions of where "AB/DL" comes from (and people talking to their counselors have also mentioned it), but I often find the theory fits more related to diaper fetishism then "AB desires" in my book.

    Here's an old experiment from 1966 where they established fetishism for boots. If you have access to a database such as your school library, you can read the entire thing: http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1966-11075-001. The methods though are pretty out of date considering our knowledge on sexuality now, but it's still an interesting instance.

    My digging around in the data base has not proven fruitful though as most of the theories and research are extremely dated or non existent. One psychology journal from 2003 offered some explanations, the gist I'll post here:



    Quote Originally Posted by The Family Journal: Paraphilia and Fetishism
    MODELS OF ETIOLOGY
    What causes or leads to paraphilia? If you can definitively
    answer that question, your working days are over. Several
    models have been offered, but the lack of empirical data
    results in questions as to the accuracy of each theory (Wincze,
    2000). To complicate the picture, some theories are meant to
    apply only to particular forms of paraphilia or to particular
    subgroups within one category of paraphilia. The existing
    explanations for paraphilia tend to fall into the more general
    categories of biological explanations, psychoanalytic expla-
    nations, and cognitive-behavioral or conditioning explanations.
    Of course, some of these go into the "treatment of paraphilia" if certain criteria that brings "duress...nonconsensual partners" into play.

    I had developed another fetish when I was 14 during my own exploration, some of those experiences conditioned me to like a particular item and wasn't a result of imprinting in my opinion. My fetishism for diapers probably begun around age 5 if I where to guess from some memories of it. What's also fascinating to me is that being babied or other baby items I correlated with diapers and they sort of intertwined. Perhaps a stretch but seems logical to me.

    My personal experiences (and thank god a good memory) have pretty much in my mind explained why I have it. It's nice as it brings a level of comfort.

    As it is the mantra around here, if it is not harmful to both self and those around you, then it's perfectly fine.

    It would be rather scientifically interesting if we could somehow compile early AB/DL experiences together and draw some generalizations from that, then perhaps perform an investigative study based on a hypothesis from that "ethnographic data" over a period of time in sexual development of a group.

    Probably would be a better methodology than that, but I'm a molecular biologist, not a psychologist.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by LazyAB View Post
    I find any proposed "explanation" for the "cause" of AB/DL-ism to be utterly unconvincing given the lack of reliable data on the matter. Hell, from what data we do have (which is mostly a jumble of anecdotes as opposed to any well-ordered and collected information), it would seem to me doubtful that there's anything even resembling a generalized "cause." Strikes me as a rather pointless endeavor to search for or even posit one.
    Some people have a desire to look for answers. Should we act on our desires?

    I agree with your later post that self acceptance is important. And, as JubeyKitty pointed out, finding a believable cause may aid in coming to self acceptance.

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