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Thread: Hi, new here...

  1. #1

    Default Hi, new here...

    Hello all,
    New here, and it's my bday
    I've made a lot of changes in my life recently, realized I really wasn't happy, and I was depriving myself of the things I wanted because I was more interested in being who others wanted me to be.
    In my life (thus far) I've gotten good grades, I'm a good athlete, got into a really good program at a really good school, I'm a good looking guy (hah, really not that pompous, but trying to learn to not be overly modest), and was sort of the golden child of my (huge) family. I think all of this made it difficult for me to try to define myself apart from the expectations others had of me, and maybe prevented me from ever fully enjoying being a kid.
    I think the AB side of me stems from a babysitter I had when I was younger - she was hot, she would dress me up, and it made an impression on me when I was at a very impressionable age. Never something I understood or wanted, but something I have dealt with (and resisted) for my whole life. It's caused me a lot of pain, self hatred, confusion, and a lot of things I'm sure you've all experienced as well. Though I've never brought it up with a girlfriend, I think my kinks (or my resistance to them) have ruined past relationships. In fact, I've never told another soul about this side of me, though I've contemplated it at times.
    I'm trying to learn more about myself, and I'd love to explore this part of me more so that I might feel like a whole person. I'd really love to find a girl/woman/mommy in my area who could help me learn - though, I'm really not holding out much hope for this as there seems to be so few (even in the most populous city in the country). We'll see.
    I definitely plan to keep all of this more private - I have no interest in having my sexuality define me, as there are many more important things in my life that I don't want affected by this part of my life. I'm into really all things art/design related, and I'm also very into technology and science. I like to dress well, and I'm a composer. Anyways, greetings, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and what have you, looking forward to meeting some of you, cheers!

  2. #2

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    well welcome to adisc, im sure there are plenty of people here who can help you with any problems or questions you may have. Just start a thread and the comments will follow.

  3. #3

  4. #4

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    Well, happy birthday! I know the feeling about wanting to hide that side of you. I used to try to hide the fact that I wear nappies (I started wearing out of necessity, and now I wear out of necessity and because I like to) and it sorta made things complicated. I hope you can find some peace with yourself now that you have a place to talk about it openly!

    So... Couple questions for you. You said you are a composer, what is your main genre?

    And, more importantly... Dark, milk, or white chocolate? ^.^

    Finally, as you are new to the community, there are some questions you might have! I think you should take a look at this link, here: http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/1...w-members.html and skim through it. It will cover a lot of things that you should know, and it is really good information to have, plus it is a magnificent piece of literature, very enticing!

    Once again, welcome to the forum and I hope you find a place in the weird and wonderful world of ADISC!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    Hello all, New here, and it's my bday
    Happy Birthday! How many are you?



    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I've made a lot of changes in my life recently, realized I really wasn't happy, and I was depriving myself of the things I wanted because I was more interested in being who others wanted me to be.
    Sounds familiar...for certain! Now, you just have to figure out who you want you to be...or failing that, at least who you don't want you to be! :-)


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    In my life (thus far) I've gotten good grades, I'm a good athlete, got into a really good program at a really good school, I'm a good looking guy (hah, really not that pompous, but trying to learn to not be overly modest), and was sort of the golden child of my (huge) family.
    Yeah? Me too! Well...except the part about the grades, athleticism, good programs, good school, and the golden child bit, or huge family...otherwise, we're practically from the same mold! ;-)
    I hope that you have a sense of humor too!?


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I think all of this made it difficult for me to try to define myself apart from the expectations others had of me, and maybe prevented me from ever fully enjoying being a kid.
    I think it didn't help, that's for sure! It seems there are a variety of theories at least. I think trying to define oneself apart from the expectations others have, or had of you, is one of those more universal glitches...easily compounded when faced with what you are concerned does define you. Oddly enough, it's said that one doesn't miss,what one never had...but, I too missed ever fully enjoying being a kid...though I'm not really AB, in the larger scheme of it.


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I think the AB side of me stems from a babysitter I had when I was younger - she was hot, she would dress me up, and it made an impression on me when I was at a very impressionable age.
    I can see where that might make an impression!


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    Never something I understood or wanted, but something I have dealt with (and resisted) for my whole life. It's caused me a lot of pain, self hatred, confusion, and a lot of things I'm sure you've all experienced as well.
    I think that this should be our community anthem! Hey! We're in luck...I just happen to be talking to a composer! Did I miss it, or do you do lyrics too?


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    Though I've never brought it up with a girlfriend, I think my kinks (or my resistance to them) have ruined past relationships. In fact, I've never told another soul about this side of me, though I've contemplated it at times.
    Only you may know for sure, we have many pro-outing, and con-outing...especially where and when it comes to SO's (Significant Others), but good luck, whatever you choose to do!


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I'm trying to learn more about myself, and I'd love to explore this part of me more so that I might feel like a whole person.
    I think you made a good choice to come here, there are many who will try to assist you in your journey! Just keep in mind...You ARE a whole person...even now. (even if you don't feel like it).

    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I'd really love to find a girl/woman/mommy in my area who could help me learn - though, I'm really not holding out much hope for this as there seems to be so few (even in the most populous city in the country). We'll see.
    The caution, that I would advise you here, is this could be viewed as a solicitation...even though I believe you meant it as sharing.
    ...otherwise I defer to someone with more interest, and experience in this pursuit.


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    "... - I have no interest in having my sexuality define me, as there are many more important things in my life that I don't want affected by this part of my life.
    There's also many aspects of sexuality, that you may find useful to define...or assist in defining yourself with. Good job on not letting these traits run your life!


    Quote Originally Posted by jjlljj11 View Post
    I'm into really all things art/design related, and I'm also very into technology and science. I like to dress well, and I'm a composer. Anyways, greetings, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and what have you, looking forward to meeting some of you, cheers!
    Well, you wrote quite a nice introduction jjlljj! Seriously!
    I look forward to seeing you around, may your stay be profitable...remember to check out the rules, FAQ's, and all the great articles and information here!
    Warmest Welcome! -Marka

  6. #6

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    heya im new to the site as well. just thought id let you know that your not the only new member ok. i too have tried not to admit i like diapers and being babied. untill recently i could not admit to myself. but my friend on the internet. who knows by the way and has not overeacted to it. helped me to realise what i am. i know know i cant change what i am . in the same way that one cant his sexuality. maybe we can chat to each other one newbie to another ok

  7. #7

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    Tanara - thanks! I work in all genres, whatever the projects require. Anything from folk, indie, electronic, cinematic, etc. And if you mean what color is my skin, I'm white haha. If you're asking what kind of chocolate I prefer, dark or white I'd say (even though white chocolate isn't really chocolate).

    Marka - I'm 27! And yes, haha I do believe I have a good sense of humor. I hope I didn't come off as an arrogant a-hole in my description of myself - I'm certainly not, but I was just trying to explain where I'm coming from and how my history has made me who I am. And no I don't do lyrics really. And I don't plan to use this forum as a way of picking up dates, haha, I was just sort of laying down everything on my mind and being honest. I've discovered how crazy some of the people in the ABDL community can be when it comes to finding partners, and that is certainly not me. Thanks for all of the encouragement as well!

    Tennismad - good to meet you! Feel free to message me or whatever any time.

    I should add, I don't currently "wear" and haven't for a long long time - perhaps this is all just part of getting comfortable enough to try that again. Maybe, we'll see.

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