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Thread: To the partners...

  1. #1

    Default To the partners...

    To the partner, lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives of us adult babies, age players or diaper lovers, stop being so has nothing to do with you. It is within us. It is us.

  2. #2


    What are you talking about? What's nothing to do with us?

  3. #3


    I am thinking OP got dumped because they are a DL or something like that...

    Or maybe someone said that he was doing it just to hurt them or something. Whatever it is, I hope you don't let it bother you forever. ^.^ Anything that anyone else does to you is forgivable and forgettable. Just let it go and keep going through life with your head up high. I promise you it will get better quickly.

  4. #4


    Klick the red button... klick the button... aaah.. self destroy... this makes no ... sense... whatever... no sense....

    honstely... what was it you were trying to tell us?

  5. #5


    And the word you're looking for is 'egocentric'!

    Since we're 18+ now I expect to see better grammar and spelling! (Not that I wasn't a grammar/spelling Nazi before, of course!)

  6. #6


    I think this is the wrong place to post this because we are all AB/DLs. This would be better on none AB/DL forums where the vanillas can actually read this. Ones who come here are more open minded and trying to be understanding unless he meant it for the closed minded lurkers to see.

  7. #7


    I need to apologies. That comment came out after a very stressful night with my wife. We are all upset after what happened on Friday, and as parents of two children who are the same ages as many of the victims, it is hard to imagine what those families are going through. My wife and I were both upset. We have been together for 12 years, married for 7. I told her right away about my diapers, and after two years she said she had had enough. She told me the things she cannot live with, basically she drew a line in the sand. I made her a few promises of things I would not do, and I have lived up to them. I have not asked her to do anything involving diapers.

    It has been ten years. I love her and am devoted to her. I am a good father to our children. I go to work every day and provide for our family. I come home and help around the house, cleaning the kitchen, the bathrooms, doing laundry, taking care of our pets. I make sure to take my wife out on dates. I bring her little presents just because. I support her with parenting our children. I always include her with decision making. I take care of myself. When I started putting on weight, I worked hard to take it off. I lift weights, I'm over 40 and look better then most 18 year old's. I have a friggin 6 pack for cryin out loud. I would like to think I'm a pretty good catch. We are happy. But none of that seems to matter because I like to wear diapers. Last night I was listening to her, she was very stressed over the shootings. We were lying on the couch together, and when she had finished talking I softly kissed her ear. She seemed to enjoy it. I took an ice cube from my drink, and with it in my mouth I kissed her ear and neck. She smiled and said she wanted to go to bed, so I asked if she would like company, she said she would. So I went upstairs and into the bathroom, I got undressed and cleaned up, I had been wearing a diaper under my clothing all day. I climbed naked in bed with her and started caressing her. She lay there with no movement or response at all. I asked her if she was okay. She tells me that she feels like the only reason I am paying any attention to her today is because I have been wearing a diaper. I am feeling like to her the last 12 years have meant nothing. The last ten years that I have worked to honor what she is comfortable with have meant nothing. It has been hard for me. I am not getting what I want, but I do it for our lives together, for our family. But it means nothing because I feel I must wear diapers.

    Again, I am sorry for ranting, and your right I should probably not be posting this here. It is just hard sometimes having a partner that I can not share this deep and personal part of my life with. I have been seeing a therapist after my twin brothers suicide, and we have been talking about my need to wear diapers, where it came from, what it means, all of that. She keeps trying to incurage me to talk with my wife, renegotiate what we agreed to ten years ago. She says it is healthy, expected, what normal people do and that anything I would like to ask of my wife is reasonable and fair. That we should have several sex scripts that we both enjoy, and we should make time to enjoy them together. And that one or two of them can and should include diapers. But how can I talk with her? When it comes to this my wife is closed to me.

    I'm just frustrated and alone.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Tanara View Post
    I am thinking OP got dumped because they are a DL or something like that...

    Or maybe someone said that he was doing it just to hurt them or something. Whatever it is, I hope you don't let it bother you forever. ^.^ Anything that anyone else does to you is forgivable and forgettable. Just let it go and keep going through life with your head up high. I promise you it will get better quickly.

  9. #9


    Hey Scotth, I can only imagine that your wife, though somewhat supportive of your interests, struggles with the 'real need' that you feel. in someway I think I can relate, my partner seems to accept me on one level, but then at times I feel that she wants to say, well you've had your fun, can we move on now? I don't think she really gets what an important and deeply integral part of me this is. But alas, I will persevere because it's way better that I can do this openly with her than sneaking around behind her back. Oh, and I think that it does have some degree of impact on our 'vanilla life' though she hasn't said as much.

    Good luck, it sounds like you are a caring and contributing husband. I'm sure things will work out. try to be patient and maybe tone down the wearing for a bit....ultimately though you'll have to find a way to talk this through...for heavens sake, on balance, I'd think she'd find your needs, reasonable given your devotion to her and the family.

  10. #10



    I am sorry for this - for these troubles you are facing in your parnership. I only can guess how stressful / painful that must be.
    The problem with your initial post was not that it doesn't belong here - simply it was a bit incoherent and did not make that much sense...

    for that, thanks for sharing more detail.

    I can not relate to your situation from my own experience, thus the little support / advice I can give you must be taken as is: that I unfortunately don't have the perfect recipe to solve your issues..

    from your post I can tell, that you try hard to make it worthwhile for your wife to be in this marriage - despite you wearing diapers. I can see that you love her, and I guess she still loves you, otherwise it would have gone south long ago I guess.
    However whilst I don't exactly know why, she seems to have a major problem with the diapers... I guess everyone has some limit, and it's often very difficult to get over such.
    Also if she got the feeling that you're extra nice, because you've been wearing the diapers, it doesn't help... because anytime you will do "overtime" for your family, any time you do something sweet she will ultimately link it to an act born out of repentance and not one from love.
    To some degree I might agree - I guess the remorse you feel by "letting her down as you can't stop wearing the diapers" has gotten to you. You try harder, than most I guess to make it up, to be there, to help, to be extra nice, etc... and whilst she certainly sees what you do, it's "tainted" in her view.
    The problem at hand, besides your desire for wearing diapers and her being repulsed by it is also a quite different one:
    PATTERNS of behavior. Think of it as some sort of a trained action/response system the two of you have gotten into: You extra nice = you seeking for absolution for having done the bad deed of wearing those nasty diapers... the whole situation will create an awful lot of stress on your mariage. It certainly will not make the diapers go away.
    I believe the first thing you guys need to do is to break that behavioral cycle - break the pattern.
    There are many ways you can try - it's mostly through dialog. but if you can't manage this on "your own" - a therapist might be able to act as a go-in-between at first... by helping to analyze and make the situation both "aware" and understandable.
    From there on I think it's about tackling that diaper-business again. You need to know, and so does your wife, what it is that is such a "no-go" for her.... the both of you maybe need to re-evaluate how to handle this.
    I don't think it's really possible to get rid of a sexual fetish - that's arguably something quite difficult (not truly impossible, but I doubt it'll make you happy).
    But you could offer to see a therapist about this - I don't think any good therapist will try to bring you off this, but I think that simply the gesture that you're willing to work / change the situation can show your wife that it's not something you take "lightly"... also maybe at some point she could tag along, and have her feelings in this aspect "re-evaluated" by enhancing her understanding.

    In the end, it'll maybe boil down to the fact whether she can accept you with your diapers or whether she can't.... the later leaves several options, but I don't think it's for me to lay those out.
    And depending on how important your family life to you is, how far you're willing to go about this, you can TRY to get off the diapers...
    as mentioned, doing so might prove VERY difficult... as with any "addiction" (and to some part a fetish that you can't fully control and *need* is from a psychological point of view not much unlike of any other severe addiction. It might be quite a bit stronger to be honest).... there are many methods you can try. From taking therapy (behavioral modification...), to drugs that basically dope down your sex drive (I guess your wife or you won't like that either...) to seeking a "replacement" - that is something that with many forms of addiction often works - trying to "reprogram" your desires / behavioral patterns by omitting the fetish/addiction and replace it with something that is still satisfying some of the basic needs but being more acceptable to you & your family.

    that is a very complex thematic though and I'm certainly not experienced enough to get you any further with this - but I hope you can find a way, that will work for you to be happy!

    Good luck!

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