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Thread: rare post from a lover of peanutbutter and jelly (Confessed to a considerable number of people this year)

  1. #1

    Default rare post from a lover of peanutbutter and jelly (Confessed to a considerable number of people this year)

    Hey there, I have't been much of a poster but I think this is something that should be posted?....

    Before this year, there was perhaps 2 people that knew I was a DL/AB) and those were years ago. It never made much difference I don't know where those people are in the world now.

    Fast forward, a couple months ago I told an ex because it was the reason we never did anything-on my part, she had her own issues. It was uncomfortable, but we still remain really good friends. Which is sooo weird to me.


    Then it got stranger, I told my new drinking buddy at the time since he was so open about being gay. Then I told his former lover, who is still a friend, because he come out about not being straight months ago.


    Then in between telling those two, one of their friends I've never met talks to me a lot on FB--and I told her to explain my unique perspective on relationships.

    Then I told a very close friend who I pretty much consider "my big sister."

    Here's the kicker, when I tell them (big sis and ex having kids themselves) it's like not even a thing. In fact big sis even said "It all makes sense now," as did my close friend.

    I've told 5 people in a 6 month period, more than I have ever in my life before--And so far no one has ousted me. I'm in between being super apprecaitive and super vulnerable. I love it. I hate it. I am thus far treated the same as I always have been-It hasn't been a shock to anyone, and my friends with kids haven't labeled me. My ultimate doomsday scenario has completely collapsed, and its such a mixed reaction I'm feeling right now. Like perspective on life changed just a little bit for the better.


    I'm still not totally into the lifestyle, but ...I don't have to be as afraid of it as i once was....and I seem to possibly be maturing enough to handle the fact that I have a toddler inside me...as weird as that seems to me.....It's really the only obstacle I've not been able to face. But maybe I am starting to?

    I think my ultimate reasoning for posting this is not only to express myself, but maybe somehow help someone else? Even as I wrestle with it, this is perhaps the most important thing to happen to me as an infantilist. Second only to finding the awesome site of adisc.

    I've learned that, at least sometimes, you can be open about it with your inner circle, and as long as they know you will enough--nothing has to change and in some ways it can get better because of that level of trust, even though its frightening at the same time.

    If you read (or tried to at least) my jumbled thoughts, than thank you.....i needed to say something.....


    (I hope I have written this well enough, please forgive if I haven't. )

  2. #2

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    Wow, that was a great post. Thanks for sharing it. To the people who care about us, our little fetish isn't as freakish as we sometimes think it is. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with our friends can actually strengthen rather than destroy those relationships. While this amount of openness would not work for everyone in every situation, it is encouraging to know that "doomsday" might not actually happen if we are honest with our friends about our quirks.

  3. #3

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    OP, I've found that generally close friends are much more tolerant then random posters on facebook. I wouldn't tell anyone who might someday use it to fulfill a grudge, but generally people still see you as you. Parents and sexual partners are the only general exceptions to this. Parents want to see you happy, and there's a certain extent where they fear that being different means being unhappy. There's also a bit of guilt on mom/dad's part, as they did after all raise you...they might feel responsible and try to snuff it out. Sexual partners, on the other hand, tend to be less tolerant because they're the ones living with you, sexing with you, and feeling vulnerable with you.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    Wow, that was a great post. Thanks for sharing it. To the people who care about us, our little fetish isn't as freakish as we sometimes think it is. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with our friends can actually strengthen rather than destroy those relationships. While this amount of openness would not work for everyone in every situation, it is encouraging to know that "doomsday" might not actually happen if we are honest with our friends about our quirks.
    Thank you.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by SuperArrow View Post
    OP, I've found that generally close friends are much more tolerant then random posters on facebook. I wouldn't tell anyone who might someday use it to fulfill a grudge, but generally people still see you as you. Parents and sexual partners are the only general exceptions to this. Parents want to see you happy, and there's a certain extent where they fear that being different means being unhappy. There's also a bit of guilt on mom/dad's part, as they did after all raise you...they might feel responsible and try to snuff it out. Sexual partners, on the other hand, tend to be less tolerant because they're the ones living with you, sexing with you, and feeling vulnerable with you.
    Absolutely. Im at wits end over this when it comes to relationships with people of any sort, especailly a significant other very difficult...one reason I'm trying to be a tad more open and accepting about it, to spare the pain of a relationship not working out (again) over it.....

  5. #5

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    Great post. I'm currently going through the hard process of trying to tell someone. It's not easy. That's for sure. But a reaction like that must be great.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwolfyx View Post
    Great post. I'm currently going through the hard process of trying to tell someone. It's not easy. That's for sure. But a reaction like that must be great.
    Thank you. I wish you the best in that. Its nice to not have to hide a pacifier or not have to freak out about someone seeing me wear.

    having a group of supporters is much better than being against the entire world.

    I hope you find success in sharing with someone else, and either way you have these forums and I'm just a PM a way.

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