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Thread: Help Me?

  1. #1

    Default Help Me?

    Today I was asking myself, is my mind in a healthy place? I'm an AB/DL (Adult Baby, Diaper Lover) and I yearn for all things babyish and childlike. It's not always a fetish, that's something I always knew but it's starting to occur to me; how much of my life has it taken over? I've become completely helpless and I think more and more that maybe what I really want is to be a baby literally and forever?

    The answer seems to be yes but I'm not sure it's very healthy. But it's not that I just want it, I feel like I'm actually in some kind of denial... Perhaps not necessarily about being a baby but about being a teenager and becoming an adult. Whenever I see kids with their parents and the parent is talking to the child down on 'their' level I'm like

    "Wasn't that me? >< Like.. Last year? or...?" But it wasn't.
    It literally feels like there was a gap in my life as if sometime after I turned twelve I fell into this three year coma and I remember everything that happened within the gap but I don't feel like it was really my life. I feel like I've obtained the memories of someone else and I'm just picking up where they left off.

    Cause I could of sworn that I was younger than ten and now I'm dangerously close to twenty which means while I was busy concerning myself with this imaginary 'gap' I've also went and wasted my teenage years too.
    But I feel like I just appeared into this body and whoever existed within it before is a stranger to me and I'm not being metaphoric.

  2. #2

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    I get that feeling too. Our society wants to quantify and measure everything age wise and it does not really work. Everyone ages differently and often in isolated bursts. I felt the same way you are describing when I turned 7. I felt like I took over some other dude's life. I have always struggled with wanting to be as good a person as the old me. It is hard I feel like a stranger to myself. When I turned 18 it was weird too. I just never thought I'd live that long. When I was a kid I always assumed I'd just die before I became an adult or at least commit suicide. When I finally got there it was so strange. I feel like I passed into the bermuda triangle or something. Anyway time heals all. The feeling you are experiencing will fade. Also enjoy the novelty while it lasts.

  3. #3
    Countdown

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    Quote Originally Posted by BethanyHamill View Post
    It's not always a fetish, that's something I always knew but it's starting to occur to me; how much of my life has it taken over? I've become completely helpless and I think more and more that maybe what I really want is to be a baby literally and forever?
    i think u need 2 ask urself this in relation to the state of ur life... r u in school? do u do well in school? r u working? do u have friends / a social life? r u happy/content? if these arent true, is it b/c u want 2 be a baby again??? if so, then id say es a problem... but if es not interfering with ur life & es just a desire in the back of ur mind, id say es not such a problem then...

    good luck

  4. #4

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    There's a reason so many poems, songs, and stories are about time slipping away from people. It's common to feel like this at least some of the time. There are non-ABs out there who take little responsibility and control in their lives. Perpetual teenagers. Some people think it's a recent problem with 20-year-olds these days, but I know plenty of older folk with those helplessness issues.

    Adulthood is very different from childhood in that not all of our milestones are causes for celebration. They can be bittersweet. Graduating high school felt like a release to me, but I remember feeling sad and overwhelmed when I earned my BA. "Now what?" It's a scary question.

    At the same time, I'm constantly looking back and wondering how I got to where I am of all places rather than where I intended. Wishing I'd done this or that different, had recognized some opportunity I was blind to at the time, had said "screw it all" and pursued one thing with whole-hearted abandon. But it doesn't work that way, the wishing it had been different.

    Is any of it healthy? I don't know. But if you are reflecting on it in a non-obsessive way, I'd say you are doing good. If you can find something to grab onto, to focus on, to commit yourself to now in the present - that'd be doing great.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Countdown View Post
    i think u need 2 ask urself this in relation to the state of ur life... r u in school? do u do well in school? r u working? do u have friends / a social life? r u happy/content? if these arent true, is it b/c u want 2 be a baby again??? if so, then id say es a problem... but if es not interfering with ur life & es just a desire in the back of ur mind, id say es not such a problem then...

    good luck
    I'm not very content.

  6. #6

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    I guess after college I didn't have a full time job for two years and now it seems like all of that time has slipped away from me. I don't know if that's the same way y'all feel since I'm not an AB, but I think I get the gist of it. How time seems to vanish when you're not being an adult or acting like one.

  7. #7

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    heya. im a new guy to this site. but i do share some of your feelings in a simalr if not exactly the same. when i was younger about 5-6. i alwas thought that i would die before i became an adult. like being an adult was a whole differant life to that of the one i was living. it alwas confused me, why do i feel like this. i went into fostercare at the age of 3 so i was alwas just another naughty little boy in the home. i would alwas feel weird about things and certain things would make me uncomfortable. i was also sexualy abused once or twice in my own bed too. this has made me very insecure.


    its a constant thing with me but i can push it away for a little bit of time. but if i do it for too long, it makes me feel unhaoppy and uncomfortable. to be honest i cant really say if my upbringing has some impact on my wanting to be young and like a child again. but i think for me the reason mostly is because most of my childhood was traumatic and unsettled. i just want to be happy and carefree again before my life took a turn in the wrong direction.

  8. #8

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    I'm going through the same thing. Just do what feels natural. If you really don't like this kind of lifestyle, you don't have to do it.

  9. #9

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    Look up walkin's In some beliefs there is some that feel that a soul can leave and a new one comes in to live out there life.The transfer can happen when you were very sick or accident of some kind you find it in new age.

  10. #10

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    I think that accepting yourself for who you truly are is the most important thing. I have tried to deny parts of myself from DL to Gay and any other aspect, but it just makes me depressed, isolated, and lonely.

    So I think that to be truly happy, or at least work at it, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves no matter how hard it is. I think it is important to try and throw away a conception of what "normal" is and make up your own rules (with in law and reason).

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