Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Sorting through my issues

  1. #1

    Default Sorting through my issues

    ok... I have had in the past some psychological issues related to Asperger's and not making any friends. My therapist has gotten me to the point where that is non-existent. However, I have some other issues that need sorting out before I can proceed with dealing with them. Ok... here goes. One of my earliest memories happens to be when I was about 4 and pooped my pants while playing with my younger brother. My parents yelled at me for it because I was apparently potty trained at the time and I felt so horrible. My parents also confirm that I would want to do anything my baby brother did. I remember putting myself in his stroller for attention and my parents calling me a baby and cooing. I remember feeling conflicted as I wanted to be a big boy, but with the attention my brother was getting. If I had to take a guess, I would say this probably is the source of my infantilism. Through my baby brother, I wanted his attention and began to associate babyhood with attention. Thus I ended up having a pacifier till I was about 6 or so. The pooping my pants incident probably conflicted me to the point where I felt I could do nothing to get my parent's attention, and the infantilism remained as a coping mechanism for the new realization that I had that I was no longer getting the attention I was deprived of because of my brother entering the family. In short, My infantilism was born out of a lack of attention from a new baby entering the house and when I finally figured out that I couldn't get a lot of attention from regressing, I became traumatized and have been wishing to be regressed and cared for like an infant ever since.

    - - - Updated - - -

    The crossdressing comes in a bit later and is harder to pin down. I just seemed to one time during puberty to like dressing as a girl. Not only that, but I also seemed to frankly sometimes, I want a sex change and sometimes I don't. Sometimes, I behave femininely and others, like another guy. I sometimes dress as a baby girl, but others as an adult woman. The question here is, am I bigendered? If I am, what do I do about it and what do I do about the attention starved issues?

  2. #2
    Countdown

    Default

    ^^^

    u sound young (i.e., teenager)... these things can be difficult to work out when ur young... it sounds like u may be bigendered (exhibiting both male & female chars), but maybe es somethin else... time will tell... hopefully...

    attention-seeking bx: dunno what to tell ya bout that... get an overly attached gf maybe... jus kiddin, but maybe if u work on the AS & social isolation issues, you will be able to make friends + potential romances --> more attention??? jus a guess... cannot relate at all (attention-fearing rather than attention-seeking), so es just guesswork...

    good luck...

  3. #3

    Default

    I am young. I am not a teenager though, I am an adult, but just barely though. As for attention thing, yeah I've been trying to get a gf for 5 years now and well.... The best I've ever gotten is a flat out no. I don't have any idea why. Possibly b/c of my looks. I am skinny but not muscular and unfortunately that's all girls around my age seem to want. There are obviously exceptions, but I have yet to find one. All this rejection does not help me and makes me feel inferior and make me need the attention all the more. This is the main problem right here. I have a need to be paid attention to and cared for but no-one seems willing to do it. But thank you for responding.

  4. #4

    Default Sorting through my issues

    I don't know if this will help, but if you can address the need for attention it will be easier to find a girlfriend. Part of the problem may be (just a hunch - clearly I don't know the entire situation, so I may be wrong) that you come across as being slightly needy. In this case it's likely to go better if you are more confident.

    Also, there are generally two strategies for dating. The first is to view it as a numbers game, and ask out as many people as possible. The second is to try to get to know people socially by joing clubs/group activities and then ask them out. The second is a bit tricky because you have to actually enjoy the activity or club - if you're doing it just for a potential date it's kind of creepy (and yes, people can tell). I was never a fan of the numbers game approach, but if you're nervous about asking people out there's some value in trying it for a bit. Do you have someone in real life you can talk to about this? If so they'll probably be in a much position to advise you about all this since so much is lost when writing.

    This is kind of random, but one thing that helped me when asking people out is to realize that it's really a compliment. By asking someone out your pretty much saying "hey - you seem cool and I'd like to get to know you better." There's nothing wrong with that, and while the other person may say no, it's still a compliment.

    If your concerned about being skinny (which I don't think is the problem - anyone who cares about that is incredibly shallow and not worth dating), you should get the book Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe and start lifting weights. If you follow the program you will gain weight and get a lot stronger. I could go on about how awesome it is, but this is getting long, so let me know if you want to know more about that - I'm happy to write more about that.

  5. #5
    Countdown

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Teslavoltage View Post
    I am young. I am not a teenager though, I am an adult, but just barely though. As for attention thing, yeah I've been trying to get a gf for 5 years now and well.... The best I've ever gotten is a flat out no. I don't have any idea why. Possibly b/c of my looks. I am skinny but not muscular and unfortunately that's all girls around my age seem to want. There are obviously exceptions, but I have yet to find one. All this rejection does not help me and makes me feel inferior and make me need the attention all the more. This is the main problem right here. I have a need to be paid attention to and cared for but no-one seems willing to do it. But thank you for responding.
    yeah, dunno what to tell ya... cant really relate to ya much... if u have difficulties with not making friends / fear of rejection / feelings of inadequacy, u may want to look into avoidant personality disorder... dont know much bout you, just a thought...

    good luck...

    ^^^ & mr. acorn is a sensible guy... he knows what hes talkin bout...

  6. #6

    Default

    I guess I kinda have the same problems. I don't make friends and although I'm alone, w/o my baby, I don't feel lonely. I think making yourself happier and feeling confident in what you're doing will come across if/when you ask a lady out. Us girls love being complimented(who doesn't) and like acorn said, just simply asking us out will make us want to get to know you better, unless they have already made their mind up about you. in that case, I'd move on because it's not worth trying for something if the girl is too stubborn to even go on a date. We can be shallow, so don't take it to heart if we decline you.

  7. #7

    Default

    I can totally relate. I have aspergers and have been sorting through all kinds of depression and gender identity issues. I have kind of the opposite issue in regards to attention I don't want it. In terms of gender I've discovered that I am null gender. I have only been able to survive due to lots of therapy. One of my favorite escapes is my diapers.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Teslavoltage View Post
    ok... I have had in the past some psychological issues related to Asperger's and not making any friends. My therapist has gotten me to the point where that is non-existent. However, I have some other issues that need sorting out before I can proceed with dealing with them. Ok... here goes. One of my earliest memories happens to be when I was about 4 and pooped my pants while playing with my younger brother. My parents yelled at me for it because I was apparently potty trained at the time and I felt so horrible. My parents also confirm that I would want to do anything my baby brother did. I remember putting myself in his stroller for attention and my parents calling me a baby and cooing. I remember feeling conflicted as I wanted to be a big boy, but with the attention my brother was getting. If I had to take a guess, I would say this probably is the source of my infantilism. Through my baby brother, I wanted his attention and began to associate babyhood with attention. Thus I ended up having a pacifier till I was about 6 or so. The pooping my pants incident probably conflicted me to the point where I felt I could do nothing to get my parent's attention, and the infantilism remained as a coping mechanism for the new realization that I had that I was no longer getting the attention I was deprived of because of my brother entering the family. In short, My infantilism was born out of a lack of attention from a new baby entering the house and when I finally figured out that I couldn't get a lot of attention from regressing, I became traumatized and have been wishing to be regressed and cared for like an infant ever since. - - - Updated - - - The crossdressing comes in a bit later and is harder to pin down. I just seemed to one time during puberty to like dressing as a girl. Not only that, but I also seemed to frankly sometimes, I want a sex change and sometimes I don't. Sometimes, I behave femininely and others, like another guy. I sometimes dress as a baby girl, but others as an adult woman. The question here is, am I bigendered? If I am, what do I do about it and what do I do about the attention starved issues?
    Perhaps, learn to give yourself some of the attention you seek, and that may be as simply put as somehow believing in yourself as good, and worthy etc (now). Your deprivations in childhood...real or perceived...might well have set you up for both the AB/DL-sm, as well as the binary-gender conflict. While, I too have gender issues per si...I am not an expert, and will defer to my friends...should they wish to speak...
    I would agree with exercise...to the degree that it's healthy. I would however say wait on body building...if you may be wanting to 'trial' the binary-feminine role...you'll want to stay more 'dainty'...as it were.
    So, I would say that you may be gender-fluid...so what that means, is it changes as you need it too...so, it may be a matter of simply not holding to a one view option...You might find that you are quite satisfied with that...yet you may have to give up more of the conventional standards, of what is supposed to be normal, and good...perhaps your normal, and good...is just a bit different...though just the same...harmless.
    Do you 'need' to fit? Or more believe that you are supposed to?
    Best wishes!
    Keep talking
    -Marka

  9. #9

    Default

    Actually, I think I might be bigendered but I don't know what to do about that either.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Teslavoltage View Post
    Actually, I think I might be bigendered but I don't know what to do about that either.
    In short...I'd say go with it...

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-Aug-2011, 16:52
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 19-May-2011, 09:25

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.