View Poll Results: How do you distinguish between the labels "AB" and "DL"? (SEE EXPLANATION OF POL

Voters
51. You may not vote on this poll
  • Focus/object driven (diapers vs. childhood)

    17 33.33%
  • Need driven (emotional vs. sexual)

    19 37.25%
  • Compatible

    8 15.69%
  • Indistinct

    3 5.88%
  • Incorrect

    0 0%
  • Meaningless

    4 7.84%
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Thread: What do the terms "AB" and "DL" *really* mean to you?

  1. #1

    Question What do the terms "AB" and "DL" *really* mean to you?

    I was talking about the difference between "ABs" and "DLs" in another thread and it seems that the distinction I'd always made -- that ABs are fulfilling an emotional need and DLs are fulfilling a sexual one -- isn't universally agreed upon.

    LazyAB thought that the distinction is defined according to what a person focuses on -- an AB focuses on multiple aspects of childhood, while a DL is interested solely in the diaper. Here's a snippet of our conversation:



    Quote Originally Posted by LazyAB View Post
    Yeah, but if you use the label "AB" to mean "nonsexual" and "DL" to mean "sexual," then you're using the labels wrong and you're going to often be misunderstood. I'm quite clearly an AB, not a DL. It's still highly sexual for me. This is getting off-topic, though.


    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    Interesting... To be honest, I've always known what I am (without using labels), but never been sure what "AB" and "DL" really mean and how they relate to me. On the forums, I've noticed that DLs often talk about the sexual appeal and ABs often talk about the emotional side. I assumed (perhaps wrongly) that that was the primary distinction and that the "focus" of ABs and DLs (diapers vs. childhood) followed as a result of that need. Maybe I have it the wrong way round.
    So... I thought I'd put it in a poll!

    Obviously we're talking about labels here. No one is saying that someone is either an AB or a DL, or that two people will always agree whether someone is more AB or DL, even if they agree on the definition. But real-life problems aside, how do you define the terms? What do you mean when you say "AB" or "DL"?

    Here's a full description of the poll options:

    FOCUS/OBJECT DRIVEN: (DIAPERS vs. CHILDHOOD):
    AB: Attracted to childish objects or the idea of behaving and being treated as a baby or young child.
    DL: Enjoys wearing (or seeing others wear) diapers.


    NEED DRIVEN (EMOTIONAL vs. SEXUAL):
    AB: One who regresses, role-plays or fantasises about childhood to fulfil an emotional need or desire.
    DL: One who enjoys diapers to fulfil a sexual need or desire.


    COMPATIBLE:
    The two definitions are complementary. Both are more-or-less accurate and represent different ways of looking at things. There may be exceptions and times when the two definitions don't overlap completely, but despite the vagueness neither definition is "better" than the other. When I use either term, I usually have both definitions in mind.

    INDISTINCT:
    The blurred distinction between ABs and DLs is so varied and complex that it makes no sense to use the terms "AB" and "DL" to separate different behaviours/personalities. The broader term "AB/DL" is probably best applied to everyone with no attempt made to say whether any aspect of their behaviour/personality is more or less AB-like than DL-like.

    INCORRECT:
    Neither definition is correct. I would propose significantly different definitions for the terms "AB" and "DL".

    MEANINGLESS:
    No definition could be correct. In reality there is no such thing as an "AB" or a "DL" or even an "AB/DL". The mentioned behaviours and personality types exist, but trying to categorise people in such arbitrary groups as a way of understanding them is pointless because of such great diversity. The labels "AB", "DL" and "AB/DL" are unhelpful and meaningless. You are what you are and everyone is different. I avoid using the terms wherever possible.
    Last edited by tiny; 03-Dec-2012 at 18:16. Reason: Added quotes from other thread

  2. #2

    Default

    When I say I am a DL, it's because I like diapers and I wear them.

    When I say I am an AB, it's because I like using bottles and pacifiers and sippy cups and I like getting my diaper changed


    I am mostly a DL because I wear diapers all the time and I don't do baby things often nor do I wear the AB clothes much. I do wear the pajamas a lot.

    As you can tell, my terms of AB and DL are pretty concrete when I say I am these.

  3. #3

    Default

    In all I don't think it really matters. You are never going to get everyone to agree on a single definition of what it means. Everyone has their own reasons for being an AB or a DL, therefore there will always be that argument that comes up of "Well I'm only a DL because (Insert reason here) and I don't see myself as an AB because (Insert reason here)." Even though another person could see themselves as an AB for the same reasons someone else sees themselves as an DL.

    In the end they are just labels and really mean nothing. It's just like the argument over the term "Furry." Everyone has their own opinion on what makes someone a "Furry", but there will always be discrepancies between each other.

  4. #4

    Default

    I voted for "Need driven," but I think that "Focus driven" is a close second. I assume you've seen the ABDL triangle article on Understanding Infantilism? I think that's a slightly more accurate model than just AB or DL, but also think that it makes sense to add an extra dimension of sexual/non-sexual to each of the three corners, making it a four dimensional model (yeah, I know the triangle is 2d, but I think that's for ease of visual representation).

    I think that your "Focus driven" AB definition maps fairly well to the "Loss of status" ABDL triangle corner, and "Need driven" maps to "change in role" fairly well.

    People are going to cluster at different points in the ABDL triangle (or 4d space if you add sexual/non-sexual). The "AB or DL" question is then where you draw the separating hyperplane between the clusters.

    Hopefully that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't - oh well.

    Also, here's an interesting question I just thought of. Are there any ABs who don't like wearing diapers?

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAcorn View Post
    Also, here's an interesting question I just thought of. Are there any ABs who don't like wearing diapers?
    I'm pretty certain there are, and I think I have seen a few here on ADISC. That being why I chose that the terms to me are meaningless. I mean there are AB's that enjoy using their diapers and AB's that don't, visa versa for DL's.

  6. #6

    Default

    I find that when someone identifies themselves as a DL, they're usually implying that they have a sexual fetish towards diapers, as opposed to when someone is identified as an AB, where they usually make it known that they have an emotional desire to regress and act is a young child.

  7. #7

    Default

    Well, to me, TB means kid who can't grow the fuck up.
    And DL means sexually awkward freak.
    But that's just me.

  8. #8
    Countdown

    Default

    focus/object driven for sure... some people may be fulfilling a sexual need by wearing baby clothes, but does that mean they're not an AB??? nah, don't think so... the interest can be sexual, emotional, or both... i really think it is the focus/object that means more than whether it's sexual or emotional...

  9. #9

    Smile

    I'm loving all the responses!



    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAcorn View Post
    I voted for "Need driven," but I think that "Focus driven" is a close second. I assume you've seen the ABDL triangle article on Understanding Infantilism? I think that's a slightly more accurate model than just AB or DL, but also think that it makes sense to add an extra dimension of sexual/non-sexual to each of the three corners, making it a four dimensional model (yeah, I know the triangle is 2d, but I think that's for ease of visual representation).
    To be honest... I'm not that keen on that triangle (I'd completely forgotten about it!)... It's not that it's "wrong" as such; I just can't get my head round how I would define myself in such terms. :-/



    Quote Originally Posted by LittleAcorn View Post
    People are going to cluster at different points in the ABDL triangle (or 4d space if you add sexual/non-sexual). The "AB or DL" question is then where you draw the separating hyperplane between the clusters.

    Hopefully that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't - oh well.
    Actually that does make sense... That's sort of what I was asking in the poll, I guess: where do we draw the line? (Although I wasn't actually thinking of drawing it on a four dimensional "triangle"!)



    Quote Originally Posted by KuroCat View Post
    I find that when someone identifies themselves as a DL, they're usually implying that they have a sexual fetish towards diapers, as opposed to when someone is identified as an AB, where they usually make it known that they have an emotional desire to regress and act is a young child.
    You see, that's exactly what I thought...

    I wondered if maybe I'd got it wrong... It certainly seem like there's not one simple set of definitions on which everyone agrees, so maybe using the terms "AB" and "DL" leads to confusion or mis-understanding?

    That ABDL triangle has got me thinking...

    Would some kind of more detailed labelling system like the one below more accurately reflect the different flavours of the whole shebang? Have I missed anything out?

    Objects
    - None
    - Diapers only
    - Childish objects (potentially including diapers)

    Need
    - Emotional
    - Sexual

    Behaviour
    - Adult (real age)
    - Child (regressed)

    Mindset
    - Adult (real age)
    - Child (regressed)

  10. #10

    Default

    It's been my observation that most of the write-ups on this stuff tend to favor "need driven," while members of the community here tend to choose labels for themselves in accordance with "focus/object driven." For instance, before joining ADISC, I was pretty certain that "DL" and "diaper fetish" were interchangeable terms. Clinically speaking, that may be a favorable comparison, however there are quite a few people here on ADISC who label themselves DLs and yet claim not to have any sexual attraction to diapers. Likewise, as indicated above, there are some who label themselves ABs and find it sexual. In the end, since I tend to use these terms only within the confines of this website, I'm inclined toward the definition that best helps me decode the self-assigned labels here, and I believe that's "focus/object driven."

    But, in the end, I think we can all agree that these labels are inadequate and ambiguous!

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